future former fat chick

August 11, 2006

Aug 10, 2006

August 11, 2006

 

 

I don’t usually write in the middle of the month, but I wanted to write about my little Ambien adventure. I had a severe allergic reaction to Ambien last Friday and wound up in the hospital for 4, yes, FOUR, days in the cardiac care unit. I had all the symptoms indicating an allergic reaction: extreme difficulty breathing (had to be put on oxygen), extreme confusion (I could not tell the paramedic my name, address, etc.), and swollen tongue (couldn’t speak clearly), but the real problem was that the reaction also induced a seizure. I couldn’t stand or walk, continuous vomiting. Anyway, when I go to the hospital they thought that I had either a mini-stroke or a seizure (which is why they put me in the cardiac unit), and after days and days of tests, they determined that it was not a mini-stroke, but rather a seizure induced by a severe allergic reaction to Ambien. It was not my first time taking Ambien and has never happened in the past. But it was my first time taking Ambien since having WLS, so I wonder if it is related.

 

 

Anyway, I’m back and I feel fine. For what it’s worth, all my cardiac tests came back with excellent results and my cholesterol was spot-on (I don’t recall exactly what the number was but the doc said it was “excellent”, so that was good news. So, the next time I can’t sleep, I’m reaching for Tylenol PM!

 

 

Until next time, God bless!

 


August 2, 2006

Aug 01, 2006

August 2, 2006

I know I have not been around for quite a while.  Work has been crazy, crazy, crazy, and so has life in general.  I hope you all had a wonderful 4th!  I didn't do much - slept late, ate breakfast, lounged on the couch watching television for hours, ate lunch, took a nap, had a snack, worked out, had dinner, played computer games, showered, went to sleep.  It was fantastic!  I wish I had more "lazy days" like that.  We could all use them periodically.  Anyway, hope you all are doing well - although I'm sure you all are. 

 On the weight loss front, I am on a bona-fide plateau.  I know it was bound to happen.  I've been bouncing between 168-178 since mid-May - almost two months.  I've changed up the food, changed up the exercise, upped the water and protein, but still fluctuating.  I know everyone goes through this after about a year out, so I am not too concerned.  A bit frustrated, yes, but not worried that I have stopped losing.  I did manage to get into a couple pairs of size 12 slacks last week, so that's cool.  Anyone else going through this?

Let’s see what else has been going on with me.  I got a promotion at work – same title, but more money (about $12K more per year) and more responsibilities.  Well, I’ve seen an increase in workload but have not seen the money as yet.  The last time I asked, they said it would be reflected in my next pay check. But I will believe it when I see it.

My older sister is still obsessed with how much weight I've lost in comparison to her current weight and how ridiculously “big my butt has gotten”.  But she, of course, "has no meat back there". *insert rolling eyes*  That chick does not live in the wonderful land called reality.  She claims to weigh 158, but I know it is more than that – closer to 170 probably.  She is terrified that I will get smaller than she is; although, according to my other family members, I am already smaller than she.  Anyway, every time I see her, the first words out of her mouth are “I weigh 158, how much do you weigh?  What size clothes are you wearing?  Last week, she even had the audacity to ask what size underwear I was wearing.  It’s constantly, I can do this many sit ups, how many can you do?  I life this amount of weight, how much can you lift? She refuses to eat around me and when she does, it might be ½ a hot dog, or one fish stick, one sushi roll, or one bite of chicken before she is “completely full”.  You’d think she was the one who had gastric bypass!  My mother, God bless her, even noticed this and told my sister that if she rally are as little food as she pretends around us than she would not be so nice and plump.  Anyway, I got fed up with the whole thing and told her this past weekend that she’s not allowed to ask me anything about my weight loss, clothes sizes, etc, and yes, that her butt is just as big as mine.

 I’m not doing summer school, thank God.  Last semester went very well - I got all A's.  Trust me, it will never happen again.  Next fall, I have  statistics and some stupid information management class, which I believe has something to do with computers.  My two weakest subjects... numbers and computers.  Ugh.  I bought “the Complete Idiot’s Guide to Algebra” and “The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Statistics” to work through over summer break, but I have yet to crack open either book.  I guess I’ll take a look at them next week.

 I saw “The Click” last week.  It was okay but clearly went overboard with the fat bashing.  Without giving too much away, there is a scene when Adam Sandler has a flashback to his first two girlfriends and how “hideous” they were.  Needless to say they were both overweight.  Also, there were also scenes when both he and his son went through “loser” phases in their lives and guess what?  Yep, they were both fat during the loser phases.  I’m am really sick of that. And if I see one more insinuation that “WLS is the easy way out” or “WLS is cheating” in some stupid magazine one more time, I think I’ll snap.

 Anyway, I am “de-toxing” this week.  No s/f cookies or candies, no refined carbs, low fat, no crackers of any kind, The reason for the detox is that my niece spent last weekend with me and I had tons of chips, pretzels, and Doritos in the house for her to eat and I wound up eating most of them myself.  I was one continuous graze-fest from Thursday to Sunday.  So, now I am reigning myself back in and focusing of fresh veggies, fruit, lean protein, trying to resist the urge to graze and trying to eat slowly.  Wish me luck.

 303/bouncing between 168-178/135

 

 

 

 


July 31, 2006

Jul 30, 2006

July 31, 2006

 

Another month has flown by.  Where has 2006 gone?  The holidays will be here before we know it.  I’m still on a plateau.  My weight is still all over the place - yet still not really going anywhere.  I've been bouncing between 168 and the 178 since late-May.  I got down to 164 a couple of weeks ago, then got my period and it shot up 10 pounds within a week and I haven't seen 164 since.  Case in point, I weighed myself last week and I was 174, weighted myself the next day and I was 170, this morning I was 174.5.  I changed up the food... again.  Changed up the exercise routine...again.  Restarted my food journal and making sure I'm not eating more than 1500 calories daily. But still I have not seen any steady weight loss in almost two months. Dr. von Rueden told me to expect a plateau, but I didn't think it would happen to me.  Why do we always think that way? 

 

Anyway, I'm just going to keep at it because I know it will pick up again soon.  My surgeon and nutritionist do not believe in “plateau buster diets” or other fads to restart weight loss and neither do I.  Eating nothing but protein for 10 days is NOT healthy.  We need a balanced diet and that includes a healthy mix of protein, veggies, fruits and fiber.  My nutritionist says to keep eating right, keep the calories where they need to be, keep exercising diligently, keep getting 60 grams of protein (not 80 to 100), keep getting in at least 64 ounces of water, and the scale WILL move when your body is ready.  In other words, just follow the rules and everything will take care of itself.  We can’t control these things, so just go with the flow and continue good healthy habits.  Anyway, the way I look at it, my plateau should be ending fairly soon, so hopefully the scale will get moving. 

 

Everything else is going real well - I feel good, health-wise.  Still struggling with the urge to graze, but I think we all struggle with that and will continue to do so.  The key is to make good choices most of the time and try to exercise a little bit more than usual when I don’t make a good choice.  Hopefully, the scale will have moved below 168 when I write again at the end of August.  I feel great about my progress thus far and I know I’m not done losing.  Until next time, God bless!

 

303/168/135


June 30, 2006

Jun 29, 2006

June 30, 2006

 

The weight is still bouncing around.  A plateau is to be expected at this stage, so I am not particularly concerned about it.  I am still following the rules for the most part and am still exercising hard, so the scale will get moving again in its own time.  I do have some exciting news.  I’ve been getting into size 12 slacks.  I am wearing a pair now, as a matter of fact.  I am also wearing a firm-control body shaper underneath, but it is still extremely nice to be in some size 12 pants and have them look decent (as in not too tight).  Anyway, I don’t have much time to write today, so I will sign off for now.  Until next time.

 

303/168/135


Look at my loose arm skin!

Jun 13, 2006

June 14, 2006

 

 

 

Well, still bouncing between 167 and 178.  I weighed in at 167 yesterday.  Everything else is going very well.  In accordance with my nutritionist’s instructions, I tried to eat some fruit last weekend.  First, I had a serving of strawberries.  No problems at all and they were DELICIOUS!!!  The next day, I ate a small gala apple.  No problems and boy, was it good!!!  The next day, I ate a small green apple and just about died!  I mean, I dumped my guts out and was in severe pain for about five hours.  All I could do was lie down and pray.  The moral of the story is to have 1/3 or 1/2 of an apple at a time because they contain lots of natural sugar.  Understandably, I have not had any fruit since this little episode, but I won’t let that deter me from trying it again at some point.  Anyway, it is nice to know that fruit is now an option.  The next thing on the agenda is to see if I am now able to tolerate chicken.  I haven’t had any type of meat in over a year – no beef since I was pre-op and not chicken or pork since I was unable to tolerate them very early on after surgery.  I don’t have a taste for pork or beef, so I’m not planning on having those right now, but being able to have some nice grilled or rotisserie chicken might be nice.  I still LOVE seafood and eat it almost every day.  Last night, I made some grilled rainbow trout with herbs and boy was it incredible!!! Oh my word, it was good!!!!

 

 

 

I got my new risers for my step taking it to the full 8-inch height.  Now steps aerobics is kicking my butt and life is good! I also thought I’d change up my toning and start alternating between free weights and resistance tubes for upper body.  Boy, those resistance tubes give your muscles a good workout!  I think it’s also going really well, and I have so much definition in my arms.  Depending on how I move my arm, you can see my shoulder muscles, biceps, triceps, even my pectorals and forearm muscles.  Nice!  Now, if only I could get rid of the ridiculous loose arm skin! 

 

 

 

I am considering going ahead with my brachioplasty (removal of loose arm skin) now rather than wait.  I don’t know - I’ll have to think and pray about it some more.  At least, I know of an excellent surgeon who will do it for about $4,000.  That’s a lot less than I thought it would cost.  He did my friend and she looks amazing.  Here are some pictures of my batwings so you’ll have an idea of what I’m dealing with.  It’s not a pretty sight!  If you look closely, you can see my lil’ muscles!  Aren’t they cute?!?!?!  All the extra skin, however, is not cute at all!  Ewwwww!!!!! 

 

 

 

This is the front:

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This is from the back:

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This is a side view:

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Anyway, until next time…

 

 

 

303/167/135


Gaining Weight?!?!?

May 29, 2006

May 30, 2006

 

I celebrated my one-year anniversary this month and even if I had 1,000 years and 1,000 tongues, I could not list all the ways that God has blessed me over the past year.  Getting my food demons under better control (not under “total” control – but better) has helped me to have the discipline to improve other areas of my life as well – physically and spiritually.  I truly thank God for that. 

 

Now for the numbers… I seem to have a net gain of six pounds this month, and I honestly cannot explain that.  To be frank, I am not surprised to see the regain because I have been feeling bloated, heavy, and weighted down recently.  I just feel really, really fat.  Sometimes my clothes fit, sometimes they don’t.  Sometimes, I can get into smaller sizes, sometimes I have to go back and dig out a pair of slacks that were put away because they were too big at one point.  The blouse I am wearing right now is the same size that I’ve been wearing for months (14) but now it is uncomfortable and ill-fitting.  My wrist watch and rings even feel tight. Plus, my energy levels have not been right. 

 

I don’t know what is causing these issues or the regain.  My eating habits have not changed – still around 1200 calories per day, give or take - and I have actually increased the intensity of my exercises.  And, no, it’s not muscle. I know I am having some wicked bloating issues.  For example, yesterday I had an Atkins protein bar and raw baby carrots for lunch and I got so bloated afterward that I felt like I was going to burst out of my skirt.  My mother even asked me a few days ago completely out of the blue if I was bloated.  It’s not that time of the month, so I don’t know what’s going on but this is really starting to irk me.

 

I specified a “net’ gain of six pounds because last month’s weight was 172 and now it is 178; however, at my one-year post op exam on 5/12 I actually weighed in at 166.  So, between 5/12 and 5/30, my weight has gone up 12 pounds from 166 to 178.  To be honest, I am starting to think that the 166 weight at my surgeon’s office was a fluke.  Maybe I was dehydrated that day or something.  I don’t know. 

 

I am going to have to be stricter in policing my food.  That means going back to fit day and strictly enforcing my daily fat and carb limits.  I know my fats and carbs have crept up; although, my overall caloric intake has remained pretty stable.  But still that can’t be a good thing.  Also, I must cut back on the salt, go back to measuring everything, and no more a “bite of this” or a “taste of that”.  I have to make every calorie count if I want to get to goal and stay there. 

 

So, do I think I’ve actually regained body fat?  No, I guess not, but I’d be lying if I said that I was not EXTREMELY upset and concerned right now.  No weight loss is one thing, but regaining is not kosher at all.  I hope to have better numbers to report next time.

 

303/178/135


April 27, 2006

Apr 26, 2006

April 27, 2006

 

I’ve had a very good month and I am grateful to God for that!  Six pounds gone, building muscle, stamina, and endurance every day, making better food choices, feeling more comfortable and confident in my own skin.  Speaking of skin, boy do I have lots of it!  My arms are the worst – huge batwings.  My arms are quite toned and when I pull up the loose skin, I can see nice muscle definition in my biceps, triceps and shoulders.  I can even flex my pecs!  Guess all those push-ups are starting to pay off.  I also have a ton of loose skin on my abdomen.  My hips and thighs have a lot of loose skin, but also quite a bit of subcutaneous fat that still needs to go bye-bye.  I’m working on it, though.  Me and Denise Austin are working on it!

 

Everything else with me is going well, all praises to God.  I did throw-up twice in April and have had post-meal pain on a couple of occasions.  I think I know what causes this.  As I mentioned before, I have started chewing gum to help with the urge to graze.  It has helped tremendously, by the way.  Anyway, when I chew gum, I know that I am filling my pouch with air.  Consequently, if I have a meal immediately after chewing gum, I am putting food into an air-filled pouch causing pain and/or vomiting.  What I have been doing fro the past couple of days is not chewing gum for 30 minutes before a meal.  When I stop premeal drinking, I also throw out my gum.  So far, so good.  If the pain or vomiting resumes despite these steps, I will let Dr. Von Rueden know.

 

Exercise continues to go very well and my body continues to amaze me.  The only problem I have been having lately is that sometimes, depending on what I am doing, it is hard to keep my heart rate up – in other words, the exercises have become too easy.  What a wonderful problem to have, right?  Thank God for my heart-rate monitor.  I advise everyone to invest in a good one because it enables you to see exactly how hard you are working and what is going on with your body as you exercise.  What I have been doing to make my workouts more challenging is to use wrist weights, make my movements as big as possible, and upgrade to high impact since my knees can now withstand jumping around.  I am doing 4 mile walks and high impact/ high intensity aerobics with no problem whatsoever.  I am also ordering a second pair of risers for my aerobic step, which would take it to the full 8-inch height.  Now, I use one pair of risers bringing the step to 6 inches, but I definitely need another pair since because I am having problems keeping my heart rate up with a 6-inch step.

 

My sisters’ reaction to my weightloss continues to be weird, but I’ll have to save that for another entry.  My mother has been great lately and I know she is genuinely happy for me.  I really want to give her a kidney and have asked to her start the ball rolling to see if I would be a compatible donor.  She said she didn’t want to do it until I am a bit further out, but I don’t really see a reason to wait since I am almost a year out.

 

I’d better wrap up this update.  The next I write will be on or near my one year anniversary.  Goal in 37 pounds!  How amazing is that?

 

Jesus loves you and wants to become your Lord and Savior today!

 

303/172/135


March 30, 2006

Mar 29, 2006

Two more days until Monica’s surgery!  I am so pleased for her and I know she will come through with flying colors!

 

Anyway, I am weighing in at 178 this week.  I was on a stall for about a month, so I am glad to see some scale movement, no matter how small.  I had a friend take a new pic for me to post for my 10 month anniversary.  Pretty big difference, eh?  I really think everyone should use pictures to track progress because you may not see a difference in the mirror, but placing a before and after pic side-by-side helps you so really see how far you’ve come.  I can officially say that I’m a size 14!  How cool is that?  I’ve been getting into misses sized 14’s without a problem.  I feel tremendously blessed.  Anyway, that’s all for now. God bless!  

 

303/178/135


March 10, 2006

Mar 09, 2006

I'm doing well - still plodding along.  On a little bit of a stall, but February was a really good weightloss month for me - 8 pounds, which is a "HUGE" amount at this stage, so I have no complaints at all. 

 

Still working out six days per week.  I actually used a treadmill for the first time while I was out of town.  The hotel had a pretty nice gym and I walked on the treadmill every night for an hour (including warm-up and cooldown).  I started out warming up at 1.5 miles per hour at a no incline for about five minutes and began progressing incrementally to 4 miles per hour at a 3% incline (I did 15 minutes at 3 MPH, 15 minutes at 3.5 MPH and 20 minutes at 4 MPH).  After 50 minutes, I incrementally slowed the speed and reduced the incline to cool down.  It was a very good workout physically; although, to be honest it was boring as heck mentally.  The only saving grace was that there was a huge TV and I watched Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy while I walked.  Otherwise, I don't think I would have stuck with it because it was so monotonous.  I much prefer aerobics and cardio dance classes that are more interactive.  I will say this... walking on the treadmill takes longer than Leslie Sansone's In-Home Walking tapes to cover the same "distance".  Her three-mile tape is about 45 minutes and her four mile tape is about an hour, but after an hour on the treadmill, I was only at about 3.2 or 3.3 miles.  Speaking of Leslie, I don't like her four-mile fat burning walk tape.  It is an excellent challenging walk with four jogging intervals, but it's one of her early 90's tapes and she's very uncoordinated in it.  Uncoordinated to the point of distraction, so I ordered her four-mile super challenge DVD on Amazon over a month ago and still have not received it!  Good grief people, get it together!

 

I can finally get into some size 14 slacks and my 16's are generally getting too big.  I still can't find jeans that fit well - guess there's still way too much junk in the trunk!  I gave a little talk at my surgeon's information session the other night regarding my experience with WLS.  It went pretty well, I think.  I still haven't posted new pictures.  I know I really need to, but I just never seem to get around to it.  School is a major drag and I have midterms coming up.  I have this one professor who thinks he’s God.  He constantly keeps the class late because he spends too much time yapping about himself.  I pointed out to him the other night that class ends at 8:00 not 8:15 and he said that class ends when he’s finished talking.  Ummmm…no, class ends when I get up and walk out and I plan to do so as noisily as possible.  Pathetic little twerp…

 

My friend Monica is having RNY on March 31st.  I am extremely happy for her and I know she will do a phenomenal job!  Her life will change for the better in ways she never thought possible.  I will encourage her to sign up here and start a journal to track per progress.  That way when things get tough she can come here and see how far she has come.  That is what helps me.  When I’m on a stall, I just see where I was three or four months ago and I feel much better.

 

I finally found a Christian therapist who works with people who have eating disorders.  Now, of course, I still have not worked up the nerve to actually make an appointment.  But at least I found a therapist in my area.  Baby steps….

 

Let's see... anything else?  Nope can't think of anything.  Until next time…

 

303/182/135


February 24, 2006

Feb 23, 2006

I know it hasn’t been two weeks yet, but I felt it important to weigh in today because it is my nine-month anniversary.  My weight is currently 182 bringing my total weight loss (pre-op and post-op) to exactly 121 pounds!  I still cannot believe it… 121 pounds!!!!!  I looked back at my February 22, 2005 entry and I had just completed my initial consult and gotten my surgery date and my weight was 302.  I dropped weight pre-op and have done very well post-op and here I am 120 pounds later!  Isn’t God awesome?!?!?!?!

 

Anyway, I am still looking for a good therapist.  Well, I am “passively” looking for one – I haven’t been as diligent about it as I should.  I know it’s important and I know it’s something that I really need to do, but it’s one of those things that I still dread.  It’s like giving yourself an enema.  You know you’ll feel a lot better once you get rid of some of the crap bottled up inside, but the whole process is not something you look forward to.  Toilet humor… don’t you love it?  Anyway, we’ll see what happens.

 

I am going to my agency’s annual conference next week in North Carolina .  I have not seen my co-workers in a year.  To be honest, I am hoping that they don’t say too much about my weight loss.  I find it very embarrassing when people comment on it.  I know most people like compliments, but they make me very uncomfortable.  Compliments just emphasize the fact that I was super morbidly obese and that’s not something I like to be reminded about.  I am a very private person and I did not broadcast my surgery to my coworkers.  People are still very ignorant about the realities of weightloss surgery and I don’t think I should have to be responsible for educating them.  I am more than happy to educate my close friends and family, but nosy coworkers are a different story.  It’s not like they really care anyway; they just want something to gossip about.  Well, they are not getting any gossip about me.  I plan to take some carb control yogurt cups and lots of protein bars with me.  I am not anticipating a problem staying on track as far as my eating is concerned, but I am not so sure about exercise.  The hotel has an exercise room but I’ve never really used treadmills or elliptical machines before.  In addition, there’s the whole working out in front of people issue that I still struggle with.  I guess I’ll just try to go for nice long walks each day, but I am not sure that I will be getting the same amount of workout intensity that I am accustomed to getting.  We’ll see.  Maybe I’ll go for a jog and pray that I don’t trip over something and break my neck.

 

Anyway, until next time!!

 

303/182/135


About Me
Baltimore, MD
Location
31.1
BMI
RNY
Surgery
05/24/2005
Surgery Date
Jan 31, 2005
Member Since

Friends 81

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