Teri V.
January 2006:
Hello everyone, my name is Teri, and like everyone else, I have been obese my entire life. I can honestly say I have lost >100 lbs at least 3 different times in my life. Problem is, it never stays off... When people tell you "just eat less, or work out more" I wanna just scream! Anyway, I could go on and on... but Im sure most of you have lived that story.
I first thought about WLS after watching an interview with Carney Wilson, and thinking, hhmm, interesting, but I could never do that. (I think I was still very deep in denial). Finally, after I couldn't continue to push my weight problems to the back of my mind and when I stopped lying to myself saying "this is just me, its the way I am, I just need to accept myself"... which is BS! yes, this is me, and yes this is the way I am... but I don't have to "accept" this life any longer! Im a good person, Im nice and I deserve to live a full and wonderful life!! (little pep talk...lol).
I had my first appointment at my surgeons office Feb 11, 2005. And officially had my first denial in April, 2005. My insurance Co. (Blue Cross Blue Shield of AL.) said they wanted me to be on a medically supervised weight loss program for 6 months... so I jumped through that hoop. In October 2005 my surgeon resubmitted my request, and I was again denied in December. My insurance company says they want medical proof that I have been obese for at least 3 years.... Another hoop ... I've been in contact with my other doc's and Im waiting (patiently) for an answer.
That takes me to right now... I have a good feeling about 2006!! It's the year I finally get healthy... and finally start to live! Keep your fingers crossed, I will update as soon as I hear anything.
March 10, 2006:
Just thought I'd post a little update (what there is of it anyway). I have had numerous denials from Blue Cross Blue Shield of Alabama (I live in California but my company is based in AL). The girl at my surgeons office told me she has submitted all the requested information (proof of medically supervised weight loss for 6 months, and medical documentation that I've been obese for at least 3 years), on more than one occasion... but they still say we are not submitting the information the have requested?? So, I wrote my first letter and submitted it all (again!), Im hoping this does the trick. Im keeping my fingers crossed... but in the mean time, here is my list of things I plan to do once I get thin (and healthy):
1. Fly on an airplane without being squished into the seat.
2. Snow ski
3. Shop (and buy clothes) in a regular store.
4. Wear a sleeveless shirt.
5. Cross my legs (you know what Im talking about...lol)
6. Wear knee high boots and actually be able to zip them all the way up... comfortably!
More to come....
April 13, 2006:
Yyyeeaaaahhhh! (Ironic... but the number 13 is always been my lucky number...)
I just got word from my insurance company that my letter has worked and they will be covering my WLS!! I cant even begin to tell you what is going thru my head... Im excited, Im relieved, Im nervous and Im scared to pieces!! But most of all, Im looking forward to the journey about to begin. I spoke with Becky at Dr. La Ports office and she will be calling on Monday to set up my "doc talk"... I've already done the psych evaluation and nutrition class, so basically after meeting with my surgeon I can schedule my date and get started on my pre-op work up!! I'll update when I can... here we go!!!!!!!!!!!!
April 27, 2006
I just got off the phone with my surgeons office and Im scheduled!!!!! My date is June 13th... and I cant wait! Its so weird... again the #13 (see previous post)! I'll update more later...
May 19, 2006
Today was all my pre-op testing and registration at the hospital. Seems like it all went well... but when I had the EKG done I peeked at the results and they said "Normal Sinus Rhythm, Borderline EKG"??? What he the heck?? Anyway, other then them almost breaking off my zyphoid process (little thing at the end of your sternum) doing my gallbladder ultrasound... okay so they didn't almost break it off, it just felt like they did...lol. All went well. I have my doc talk on May 25 then my one on one with the surgeon on May 30. Then Im hoping it's all straight forward from there. I have to tell you, Im getting really freaked out here!!! Im excited, scared, and impatient all at once.... more later....
June 3, 2006
Well, Im waiting patiently for my upcoming surgery. I have had all my pre-op testing done, and met with my surgeon. I have even started to attend a WLS support group meeting. I have to tell you, I was freaking out, big time... but lately God has blessed me with an amazing sense of peace. Dont get my wrong, Im sooo excited about starting my new life (although to be honest, Im still fighting the "failure" demons... I've failed at "diets" so often in the past, Im afraid of failing at this too... the other night at the support group meeting the leader said something that totally hit home with me... she said "you didn't fail on those diets... those diets failed you!" ) Anyway, I will update when I can... keep me in your prayers.
June 12, 2006
Tomorrow is my big day!!!!!!!! Its very weird right now... I have everything all ready, the house is cleaned, laundry done, etc.... and now Im trying very hard to keep my mind occupied (doing a lot of reading). Im not really afraid of the surgery anymore either. I know Im in good hands, and God is with me... he has brought me to this place in my life where I am ready... I know Im healthy, and am going to do just fine. I've been doing a lot of self evaluating these last few days (weeks)... trying to figure out what happened... how did I get to this point? And if I had that in me, whats to say it wont happen again?? Just trying to be very honest with myself... all I can say is, I will take everyday as it comes... one day at a time. Pray that God will guide me... and live life! No more sitting around and throwing it all away... From this day forward I will LIVE LIFE!
While I was doing my house work yesterday I came across a framed poem I have hanging... I walk past it everyday, but haven't really read it in a long time... I got chills when I read it yesterday... its me, and my adventure.
On the first flight with her new wings
She walked to the edge of the world
and opened her arms to the universe.
Unsure, she looked out at the future before her
and stepped back from the edge.
"Trust your heart"
whispered the stars.
She did and flew toward her future...
June 17, 2006
Well, what a week this has been. I was admitted to the hospital early Tuesday morning (6/13/06)... everyone was VERY nice, I really cant say enough about the hospital. Everyone from the admissions clerk to my floor nurses were incredibly friendly and just seemed happy to be there... okay, Im getting off subject here. Anyway, I was taken to the pre-op area, changed my clothes, signed my consents, went over a history and IV started. I was very comfortable... I was even able to close my eyes for a few minutes while I waited for the surgeon to arrive. Its very strange now... I remember my anestologist coming in and saying hello (I didn't tell any of them I was a nurse... don't know why, just didn't). He explained in detail what was going to happen... my OR RN came in and we were off to the OR. I remember being wheeled down the hallway thinking "I really should try to remember all this"... I was transferred to the OR bed and hooked up to the monitors. I remember the anesthologist giving me a little "happy juice"... I was looking at the OR lights thinking "wow, I should be more freaked out". Then he said "this will burn" as he injected the drugs, it did, but again, I didn't really care..lol. I vaguely remember being in recovery room... the next memory I have is being wheeled into my room and my family being there (my parents and my sister Diane). I was pushing my PCA pump (gotta love the drugs). I was up and walking the halls by around 1:00pm!!! (again thanks to my sister Diane... she is a guardian angle!!). I spent the next two days in a fog... but I do know everyone was very nice. I alternated between, sleeping, watching TV and walking the halls... everyone seemed to be very impressed with my progress.
I was released on Thursday June 15... And honestly... I cant say much has changed from when I was in the hospital... I alternate between sleeping, watching TV and walking around the neighborhood.
I have two concerns... number 1 is the food issue... there isnt anything (except cream o wheat is my life saver) that even seems appealing... I know its important that I get my protein in and I wont recover nearly as well if Im not eating... but honestly, Im just not interested. Im sure that will progress once Im able to tolerate more foods.
The second concern I have is my pain medications... I really don't want to take them, but if I don't, I have too much pain and Im not able to do anything (not eat, not walk, not anything)... I know its only been 4 days and I had major abdominal surgery, so I need to give myself a break, but the pain meds make me so loopy... all the days run into each other. Anyway, both these things will pass... I just need to be patient with myself!
I'll update when I can...
6/28/2006
starting weight: 298
today's weight:280
Im back to my old self... well, kinda anyway. Besides being on fluids only that is. Its been pretty tough... going from being able to eat anything and everything you want (in bulk) to liquids only is very hard. I don't really care for the taste of any of the protein products... Im hoping once Im able to add some regular foods (scrambled egg or cottage cheese) things will improve a bit. It was pretty sad, the other night I actually broke down in tears wanting a piece of pizza! But other than the food issues (which are huge) Im doing great... no pain and Im actually starting to get my energy back.
Yesterday was my two week follow up, I met with the PA and she said everything was going just fine... that I could start my phase II diet next week and see you in four weeks. The best part, ready for this... I lost 18 lbs!!!! Im so excited. Im not really feeling it that much in clothes yet (I think I might still be a bit swollen from the surgery)... but at least the numbers are headed in the right direction.
Live Life <~my new motto...
July 4, 2006
Well, its officially three weeks since surgery and I can now progress to pureed foods. I attempted a scrambled egg a couple of times, they seemed to go down okay, but about an hour later my pouch wasn't a happy girl. I had 4 oz. of refried beans with a pinch of cheese last night and I have to tell you, it was the best thing I have ever tasted. The last few weeks have been very hard... harder than I had anticipated. I cant believe that every commercial needs to be for food (especially pizza... my all time favorite food). I actually broke down in tears one night (I had hit bottom) because I had wanted a piece of pizza. Im feeling better now, but I still have to keep reminding myself that I will be able to have a piece of pizza one day (just not 5 pieces like I used to). I need to make good food choices... and that means eating smart, even eating pizza smart!
I haven't weighted myself in a few days... but by my last weigh, I was 276 (so thats down 22 lbs since surgery). Not too shabby, but I have to tell you, Im not feeling it yet (except in my hands...lol... go figure). My pants are a little bigger but not what you'd expect, ya know. Oh well, a lot of people say that... so I will just keep pushing on, in hopes that I will see the light at the end of the tunnel soon.
Live Life!
September 4, 2006
Okay, it has been quite a while since I've updated my journal...but I just had to record this "WOW" moment! I went shopping yesterday and was able to buy a size 16!!! I needed to buy a dress for my nieces wedding, and not only did I shop in the regular size department, but the size 16 fit and it looks great (if I do say so myself...hehe). Im 248 right now (that's down 50 lb. since surgery). Not too bad, but I think I might be a slow looser... Some of the people's profiles I have read talk about being down 100 lb. within the first 6 months... well, I think I've give up that hope. Im sure by my 1 year surgerversary... but not six months. Which is totally okay, cuz at least Im losing, ya know?
As for my journey so far... Im learning more and more about how MY tool works. I haven't had any dumping (thank God... I think?), I had gotten too hungry and ate too fast once and that was not comfortable. But really, it wasn't a true "dumping", ya know. Im being very careful and adding foods very slowly. I can eat pizza now (okay, well, not completely... but I do eat the toppings off of one piece)... which if you read my previous posts you know how important that is!! I have eaten out at a restaurant twice and both times have been okay... even then, I kept it very safe and stayed with a turkey sandwich... Im too afraid to try anything more adventurous just yet. No surgars yet either... but I think God has taken that craving from me, cuz I really have no desire. Im sooo looking forward to trying wine again though, which I haven't done yet. A girl at my work who had WLS 6 years ago told me the two things that make her dump are wine and ice cream... so needless to say, Im a bit apprehensive.
Other than learning about my tool... and working (which I have been doing a lot of lately...ggrrr) Life has been kinda the same ol same ol. That's why I haven't really updated my journal... lol... not a lot to report! I have been wanting to get together and finally meet some of the friends here from OH, but it hasn't worked out yet... someday soon maybe? I will update more as more and more "wow" moments occur... in the mean time...
Live Life!
October 14, 2006
Well, I just thought I'd update my story since I was updating and making my profile all pretty... The reason I havent updated more is because frankly... everything is going along just fine. I am trying to work on me, and the fact that I am addicted to food. I dont say that glibly... I have a true addiction. I have decided that I need to live one day at a time, and know that I am truly one potato chip away from eating a whole bag of them... or one piece of See's candy away from eating a whole box... this is something huge for me... and something I have slowly been learning to live.
I am officially half way to my goal weight of 160 lbs (that means I've lost 70 pounds so far)... I feel great, I really havent gotten sick at all... there were a couple of times that I ate too fast and man did I pay for it. Felt like it was stuck behind my breast bone for 3 hours!! But like I said before... there are foods that I cant allow back into my life... so, so far, so good... Im taking it one day at a time....
Live Life...
December 9, 2006
Here I am updating my profile after 2 months... and I had promised myself I wouldnt let so much time go by oh well, at least Im doing it now.
I'll start off by saying Im down 93 lbs as of this morning (Im 4 days short of my 6 month surgaversary) and Im going bald..lol. Well, maybe not completely, just feels that way, I cant wait for THIS phase to pass... Im in a pant size 16 and a "regular" (I've bought from both the Jr.'s dept and the regular womens dept) size large tops and I feel great. I've been shopping way too much (is that possible??) but I just love it! Im finally buying those clothes that I've always had to just love from afar before. I was in Nordstoms a couple of weeks ago and walked into the plus size dept... it wasnt until I really started to look around that I relized nothing fit me there!!! The sales girls looked at me like I had two heads and said "um yeah, your dept is over there"...lol. It felt so great... but a part of me felt sad too, does that make any sense? I've come to the realization that I was never unhappy, I never hated my body before my WLS. Dont get me wrong, WLS has been the BEST thing I have EVER done for myself and I would do it again tomorrow, but I now realize I have been blessed with a capable, strong body... that I have pushed and abused over my lifetime... and my body just kept taking it and remained strong, no matter how much I abused it. So, when I look back 6 months, Im sorry for what I did to my body and I feel sad about what my eating disorder had done to my "head"... but I dont look back with disgust or loathing. I look at my sagging skin (gotta love those bat wings) with love and pride at what I've accomplished... what my body has survived and what the future holds. Will I have plastic surgery? Hhmm, perhaps someday... but like I said, Im learning that I love my body... I always have, sags, cellulite and all!
Have a Merry Christmas everyone... and God Bless Us everyone!
January 19, 2007
Im ONEDERFUL!!!!! Today I stepped on the scale and guess what... thats right, I am 199 pounds!!! And have officially lost 100 pounds since my surgery, 106 since my highest weight. I feel great... to be completely honest, I've had hardly any problems at all since my WLS. Maybe its like after a mother gives birth... sometimes she cant remember any of the bad because their is so much good?! Im wearing a size 14 jeans, and a Jr. size large top. This is the first time in my whole adult life that I can actually go into a "regualr" store and buy what I want... not because its the only thing that fits... but because I want to! I have reciently joined a gym (okay better late than never).... I'm even gonna be meeting with my personal trainer. Im gonna keep pushin on until I reach my goal... when I figure out what that is I'll let ya know, probably another 30-40 pounds.
I'll update again soon.... until then, live life!
April 29, 2007
I just wanted to check in and post a quick update... Im officially down 135 pounds and Im feeling great!! I wear a size 12 jeans, and a medium top. It's so bizarre... my shoe size has even gone down... I've had to buy new jewelery too! (I know such a hardship...lol). Im feeling and doing great. In reading over my goal list (see above)... I think I've completed just about all of them... except the plane seat... travel is my next big goal! Just need to find someplace to go (so many choices, so little time)
I've even started dating again (gulp!) Im starting very slowly here... this is a HUGE step for me... I'll post when something exciting happens!
Keep living life....
June 13 2007
Oh my gosh... I can hardly believe it, but today is my one year surgaversary!!! I've so far lost 140 pounds and am pretty much at my goal weight... but most important, I'm loving who I'm becoming. I almost typed who I've become but everyday I feel like I'm learning something new and experiencing new things. I feel great and have been so blessed to have no real problems, aside from a few "issues"...lol I love to shop... and am currently wearing a Jr. size 8-10 pants and Jr. size Med. top!! I love to shop in the jr. department and finally go into those cute "funky" stores I have always loved... no more "old fat lady" clothes for me! I even wore a little wife beater top the other night... without a top over it!!
I've decided that I'm going to go forward with plastic surgery. When I wrote above that I'm "pretty much" at my goal weight... I'm actually about 10 pounds from where I want to be, and I'm thinking it's the extra skin that is holding me back. Dont get me wrong, I love my body just the way it is... I think I'll love it even more once things are tightened up and put back where they belong...lol
So, now the important stuff... I'm mindful everyday that this is a wonderful blessed tool that I was given, and it is up to me to work it properly. I still follow the rules of that tool (no sugars, little to no fatty foods, protein first, no drinking and eating together, no sodas, chew chew chew ect)... I try to keep in mind and acknowledge everyday that I'm addicted to food and I cant stop at "just one"... so I dont even go there! Am I still scared this will all be taken away from me?... Absolutely!!! I believe I need to honest and true everyday and know it CAN be taken away... and thru that honesty I will never go back!
I cant wait to see what the future holds... God bless you all....
Live Life!
