J.Bug

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Wow, can I say I'm glad to be home. First I must start with sharing with you my adventure. My good friend Luisa took me to the hospital on Wednesday morning at around 9 am and she stayed with me until I went back for surgery prep. God bless her because as you all know I'm alone because my husband is at school in the states. Okay, so the story goes like this...you know I'm in Germany and they do things a little different...like, when they take you back into the surgery area they park your bed in a storage like area and you must walk into the sterol room where they prep you for your IV. This took longer than normal because they forgot to have me see a surgeon before regarding the Anastasia  consent forms...they had to track down a doctor to help with this and then...oh, it went on and on. So, now they have the papers filled out and roughly 1/2 hour later I'm walked into the surgery room. The anastiologist is looking for the IV and I tell him that one has not been put in yet. No problem he says...I will put one in. Okay...figuring he knows his shit right...wrong. He starts with the hand and misses the vein and he starts digging for it. Well, not on any medication to call my nerves...I start to cry. He says...oh honey I'm sorry did that hurt? Like Hell Yeah it HURTS...I'm crying your Germany fool. So, he pats my shoulder and says...I will go for you arm...he gets it right in and says...don't cry, I will put you to sleep right now...that is all I remember. I woke up in the recovery room and they took me to my room. I slept most of that day and night. The next day...Thanksgiving! Um...this is not a German holiday, so I was served boiled potatoes, scrambled eggs and creamed spinach. LOL YumO' don't be jealeous...I'm sure it was almost as tasty as your turkey feast. LMAO I make it to about 7 pm and my family calls me from the states and was telling all about the great meal they were preparing and who was already there and all the fun they were having. So on and so on. Sadness hits me like a ton of bricks. Holly crap...at that time all I wanted was to go home. Okay, let me back up just a little. My surgeons came in earlier around 5 pm and said that I can go home when I can...either this night or in the morning. My choice. Well, being that it was Thanksgiving for all my friends and they were home with their family and friends...who was I going to bother to come pick me up? Ya, no one. So, I decided I would stay until morning. Now, back to my story. My husband calls right after I get off the phone with my family and I start to cry. All I want...I tell him...is to go home. Please, I beg, come and take me home. He says...Oh baby, just stop crying your breaking my heart. But, I cannot. The tears are flowing and flowing hard. The sadness just overtook me like a crazy monster that I had no control of. He says to me...Baby, just take a taxi home. Through sobbing tears...I say back to him...I can not because you said that if I took a taxi home you would kick my ass, so I did not get any Euro. I know at that time his heart broke because now I was cry uncontrollably. LOL This is really funny now...as I tell it back to you. LMAO Just when I think my day is doomed...in walks my wonderful friend Luisa. She did not call me because she wanted to surprise me with the visit and she was more than willing to drive me home. I was dressed, had my bags packed and off the phone with my husband in about 10 minutes. Oh my gosh...I was so happy. Only Judy can get a story out of something so simple as a surgery. On the good note...my surgeon revamped my surgery and took all the breast tissue out and moved my nipples up even more and extended the surgery lines so that when they start to heal the scars won't retract. I'm very excited because even though I'm swollen...I can tell I'm smaller. This was an issue because I really felt that the other size was just too big for my body size. But they look great already and I'm so excited for all the swelling to go down and the scars to be done scabbing and I'm up and wearing my new bras. Not that I don't love my sports bra...as I have been in it since September 24th, but really enough is enough. LOL 
Thanks for listening. I will post pictures soon. 
J

Hi everyone...
I just got back from my visit with my surgeon and we decided to have my "round-2" surgery on the 21st of this month. Please note that the healing issues I'm having from my first surgery is the 1/1000 chance of happening to anyone. Not a likely chance...but just the same...it does happen. My scars are retracting as they heal and they are healing too fast and this is why my implants have no where to drop. This will be another night in the hospital, this time with out my husband there to care for me because he is still in the states, and I will get another 3-weeks off from work. What will I do with all my time??? AFN only gives me one thing to watch at a time. I guess I will shop on-line. LOL 
Okay...I will up-date after my surgery, as I will have a lot of time on my hands. 
Out for now...J

p.s. I want a smoke and thats no joke!!!

9:12 pm Oct. 24th was when I had my last cigarette. Wow...what a battle I'm going through. I find myself picking up and putting anything and everything in my mouth. Eating too fast and eating too much. I'm not even hungry. I'm just needing that quick fixation. I know this...and yet...I cannot control it. Me the control freak...out of control. I'm playing a terrible mind game on myself. What is wrong with me. I have come too far to have this happen. I'm still eating the right things...but too much, too often is bad also. I want to smoke just to stop the hand to mouth issue, but I don't want to smoke for all the obvious reasons. My biggest battle yet.

J

Hello everyone,

Apparently healing fast is a curse. Yes, this is the root of my booby issue. My body has healed too fast. It healed up the pockets for my implants before they had a chance to drop. So now, I go back in for corrective surgery. I'm dealing with the surgeon now on a date...lets hope it is soon. My DH is in the states until the end of December and then he leaves again around April for 17-months. I would like to be healed up for the "short" time we will have together when he returns. Other than that...I'm GREAT! I love the new tummy and I'm sure once the girls are where they should be...I will love them too. Right now, they seem too big because they are sitting so high in my chest cavity and the boobies sag like two sad little tear drops at the end of a flower pedal. My scars are looking fantastic...I feel fantastic...and even though I have a slight set back with the girls...I'm so happy that I decided to do the ps. I would suggest it to anyone who has lost weight. It is a crazy feeling when you look down and see a foreign body...because I'm still the same on the inside...just metamorphosing on the out. 

I really am fragile like a BUTTERFLY!!! 

J

I saw my breast lift surgeon today and he told me all is going GREAT! I loved to hear that. I was thinking that I was having issues with my Right breast dropping...well it turns out that my breast implants are both sitting exactly right were they should be...the rest is just swelling. He has me putting direct pressure on that area and says that I can look for the swelling to drop dramatically in a couple of weeks. I see both surgeons next Friday, so I will post my up-date again for you. I would like to end this with telling you all that I feel amazing...NO pain. I can now sleep on my side and shower myself. I still must pretend I'm a princess and not lift anything heaver than a cup of coffee, for at least another week. Anyways...I will close now, but I will write more next week. J

I would love to give you some positive note about my first day of surgery but I have none...in fact, I was so ill that day and night that every time I tried to get just enough water in my mouth to wet it down, I would go into vomiting and dry heaving for up to 20 minutes. Yeah, and because I would not come out of my anesthesia the nurses would not give me any pain medication until I could wake up and breath that crap from my system. Okay, that was the worst...the next couple of days were okay, but I was on painkillers and tended to hand and foot. My surgery was in a private hospital and my husband stayed with me the full three-days I was in there. I got home and still not too bad, except for the fact that I could not shower until Sunday. Yes, surgery was Tuesday morning and there would be no shower until Sunday. The TT band and sports bra make me feel like I'm being crushed, but I can deal with that. A little bored because I live in Germany and have to watch the same 5 channels and I can only lift a coffee cup and nothing else. My doctor told my husband that I was to be treated like a "princess" for ten days and this is how he has been treating me. Sunday rolls around and I'm ready...SHOWER time. My husband very carefully gets all my garments off and puts me in the shower and gets in with me, because to wash my bed head he had to have a total hands on experience. LOL I told him we should just cut it off and start over. LOL All of sudden...I started to get the sweats and the room was going black. I told him I was not feeling well and that I needed to sit down. He sat me on the edge of the tub and I told him I was going to pass out and he was able to only get one hand behind my back and one under a leg and my body went limp. He let me slide into the bottom of the tub and... when I came to...all he could say was "showers over" and with a quick rinse and towel dry...I was done. Other than that my right breast has not fallen yet. It is still sitting high in my chest cavity. My husband is picking up a bra belt that will help push it into place. I really don't have much more to chat about...but as progress is made I will up-date pictures and postings. 
Thanks for taking the time to read. I really am feeling okay. Better than my husband who has to take care of me. 
He is my earth angel!!!
J

Okay, I have uploaded surgery pictures...but please check out my other photos, too!

TT and BL/BA tomorrow. I'm so excited. I'm so ready for my body to match how I feel inside. I can not stand the sight of my body when I undress and see my naked self in the mirror. I feel so bad for all the damage I have done to myself from all those years as "Trudy". 

*A special thanks to all of you who blog on this sight. Your words touch people!!!*