Feb 23, 2009Once again I have decided that it is my mission to get back on track and do what I need to do to finish losing weight and live the life I want to live. I have decided that I am going to go in for therapy. Despite my best intentions and a post almost an entire year ago, I still can not get back on track and do what I need to do. I find myself here in the same old spot. Today I think I can do it. I think I can be "good". I think I can do everything I am supposed to do. Surgery did not fail me, I have failed me. I don't know for sure that it is my fault. I know that I am the one making bad choices. I know I am the one not doing what I am supposed to. But there has to be some underlying reason for this. I know what I should do, I just haven't been able to get it in to practice. I guess it's like a herion addict. I am sure, that they, like me, know what they are doing is wrong and is only hurting themselves. Yet, like me, they continue to do it. Who knows.
I did go to the gym today. I have quit drinking any pop for over a month now. I have made some baby steps, but there is still something I need to get past. I hope that therapy will help me with this.
In closing I just want to say how incredibly embarrassing it is to write this on my profile, especially in light of that aforementioned post from nearly a year ago. I debated even writing this for the fact that it is humiliating and I am SURE will open me to ridicule from some of those people on the boards here who have been blessed enough to be able to make their goals and yet at the same time continue to judge those people who can not do the same. But I am doing it in hopes that maybe it will help someone else out there who is like me. It seems like the only people who stick around on this site are those who are doing well. I know that there are more people like me, that is why I am trying to be open and honest about this. I hope that I will be able to get past this and show people it can be done. And if I don't, I guess I will be here to show that WLS is not always the perfect, easy solution that so many of us seem to think that it is.
Jul 02, 2005