just jacie
September 17, 2007
Sep 17, 2007
July 18, 2007
Jul 19, 2007
To be honest, if I could just have plastic surgery on my stomach and arms and some breast implants I would be happy at this weight. I think getting rid of my stomach would put me in about a size 14 pants. I always said 12 was my ultimate goal. Right now nothing fits right because I still have so much weight in my stomach. I don't know how small I have to get before considering plastics. I know I won't ever been a size 6 person and I have no problem with that at all! If I could just have a proportionate figure and be able to wear pants without long shirts that cover up my belly, or pants that fit in the butt AND the waist, I would be happy and feel normal.
I started a new job last week and I am loving it so far. Actually it's my old job, so it wasn't that hard to adapt to, lol. It is weird being back in an enviornment from my past and I'd be lying if I said there weren't ghosts there that can be hard to deal with. Hopefully that will get easier with time.
June 11, 2007
Jun 11, 2007
June 6, 2007
Jun 06, 2007
May 31, 2007
May 30, 2007
April 23, 2007
Apr 23, 2007
I'm still having these weird issues about how I look. I know I was relatively happy with my weight when I weighed this before, I'm even in some smaller clothes than I was last time my weight was this low. However, I still feel horrible. I think I look terrible. I can't take a good picture to save my life and I used to love having pictures taken!! Now I'm disappointed in every one I see!
Right now eating right is pretty hard because I'm getting ready to move out of state. In Los Angeles you have to buy yourself a refrigerator when you move into an apartment. Now I've sold mine in preparing to move, so I'm eating out of a cooler right now. I can't keep any kind of meat or anything so I'm relying on my protien drinks again. It's boring. I'm usually getting one meal out a day, trying to make good choices. I wish there was Wendy's closer. Taco Bell has been my main food of choice. Not great, but I can work with it.
I'm pretty excited to be moving back home. There isn't much I will miss here. There is a great restaurant here though, it's PERFECT for post ops!! It's called Gyu-Kaku and if there is anyone reading this in the L.A. area (or NYC or Hawaii, I guess they have locations there too) make sure you check it out!! You order meat either plain or seasoned/with sauce (there is one that is soybean based and delicious!) and then you cook it yourself at a little grill in the table. I think an order of meat is about 2oz. I usually order 3 types and we split that between 2 people. I can't say enough good things about this place. I'm going there on my last night here.
April 2, 2007
Apr 02, 2007
March 31, 2007
Mar 31, 2007
It's also hard because I don't feel different. I feel just the same as I did when I weighed 388 pounds. Then there is the skin. I knew I would have skin, I knew I would need a tummy tuck and breast augmentation and an arm lift. I didn't know it would be this bad. Even places where I thought my skin wasn't stretched out are getting bad. My legs, which never had stretch marks on them, have developed them now as I am losing weight!! I'm just depressed because I have ruined myself so extensively, and I will never have a normal life with a normal body. Why did I do this to myself? Why couldn't I have just been normal?
March 7th, 2007
Mar 07, 2007
Oh boy. Some days the messageboards here at OH just really tickle me. I have started to notice a trend in that there seem to be a lot of us who admit to looking down on obese people with some kind of pity and disgust now that they are no longer obese. People who look in other people's carts at the grocery store and judge what they are buying. People who look at what an overweight person is eating at a restaurant and think about how disgusting it is. Why on earth does anyone think this is any of their business? Can we not just live and let live? I can't believe so many people forget where they came from. It really amazes me. Have some compassion or reserve your judgement at all. You aren't better than someone who is overweight because you lost weight and they haven't.
Tuesday, February 27th, 2007
Feb 27, 2007