Christina R.

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Again with the long time, no post beginning…anyone that wants me to post more, just let me know. Heck, you probably know how to contact me if you’re really THAT interested right!? J

So…WLS status…I’m stable. I’ve beaten the Cheez-it addiction, but the exercise bug still has not consistently bitten. I think I’m going to have to be ok with where I’m at until it does. I’m still bouncing between 200-205. Not bad I suppose…still lost a whole person overall, just really wish I could get to onederland someday. I actually had started to exercise and get really into it but then was in a car accident….progress stopped. Here’s what happened: I was on my way to pick up my UPS packages after returning from vacation (more about that later), I was behind a guy that was driving pokey. We stopped at a red light...then it turned green...he didn't go right away so I tooted my horn. A split-second later the lady behind me rear-ended me. Trunk was smooshed and the side panels buckled a bit. She hit me pretty hard...not sure if she was stopped behind me or came up behind me still moving. I called the police and got a report and he assigned her the blame, but only gave her a warning. My neck/back/hips have been hurting since...though, of course, in the moment I felt ok (neck hurt, but I figured it was just from the tension). So I’ve been seeing my chiropractor a bit more often than normal…she’s trying to nurse me back to health. I was supposed to actively start training for my Thanksgiving Day 5k but that’s all on hold now. My chiropractor has forbidden me from running or even walking long distances right now. Short term pain for long term gain I’m told. I should still be ok if I can start training again by the end of the month.

My vacation….ahh what a wonderful week it was! I went to Montana to spend a week with three of the most fabulous women in my life. All three have known me since I wasn’t old enough to know better…heehee. How great is it to be with people that you don’t have to explain yourself too. They “get” me and why I am the way I am…well, for the most part! Two of the three live in California and we all converged on the friend that lives in Montana for a retreat of sorts. We had way too much fun eating huckleberry pie (yum!) and watching silly youtube.com videos. I got out in nature a bit and reconnected with the “me” that I’d been missing for awhile. The “me” that knows there is a God and that He has everything in control…that I’m right where I should be. That “me” comes and goes but when she’s around I feel changed.  My girlfriends loved on me in regards to life’s recent events and helped me gain some perspective on myself. Again, so wonderful to be able to just say, here’s the latest without having to explain the whole life history behind how you got where you are. They helped me make some decisions, or at least start to think about some changes I need to make in my life. Here is a picture of me with my girlfriends and one of me with a horse we “met” while there:

On that note, I’ve decided to take the plunge and continue on with my education. I’m going to pursue my Bachelors degree in Communications. I cannot imagine spending the next two years still doing homework, but I know (or at least am strongly hoping!) that it will all be worth it in the long run. I think I’ve figured out that I’ll be the first one in my immediate family that will have an Associate’s Degree, and probably the only one that will get a Bachelor’s degree. My (very c competitive) sister recently decided that she wanted to try to finally complete her AA degree, but will likely not continue to a BS degree due to my three nieces and her demanding job. But, I’m happy for her and wish her the best…I don’t see it as a competition the way she probably does…I see it as both of us improving ourselves. All good stuff.

 

Other things…well, being thrust back into the dating world I’ve had some interesting experiences. I have quickly realized that “whoa Nelly!” this is going to be a different experience than it was at almost 400 pounds! The amount of attention, the kind of attention and the types of men giving the attention to this new body gets is a tad overwhelming at times. I think I need remedial dating lessons….I get all nervous and flustered when approached. Or I make stupid comments that someone my age shouldn’t be making to men! Don’t get me wrong, it’s nice to be noticed, but sometimes it feels just plain silly. I also realized that our digestive systems do NOT handle alcohol well. The feeling hits me really fast, but leaves just as quickly it seems. I can see how some become easily addicted to that feeling and keep drinking. I also realize that it’s so dangerous and have put myself on a one drink limit when I go out…if I drink at all.

 

Ok…so that’s all I have for now…did I miss anything? Here’s a picture of me…self portrait of sorts!

Wow...it's been awhile since I've updated. Sorry! 

WLS stats....yeah, well, let's just say I'm still battling to get under 200. Between the Cheez-its, Starbursts and lack of consistent exercise, I'm not surprised, though still frustrated with myself. I am putting the stake in the ground though that I *WILL* be running a 5K on Thanksgiving morning....I've told too many people to not do this. I just need to get training for it!

Personal update....I'm officially divorced. The papers were filed and signed by the judge on May 29th. Mixed feelings about it all. I really wish we could have figured things out, yet I know that I did all I could and he wasn't ready or willing to make the changes necessary....not bad, just the way it is/was. He has moved to MN to be closer to his family. I got the condo in the settlement which is nice because things for me didn't have to change too much. Marvin (my loving cat) is my companion and does his best to keep me company....ahh the unconditional love of a pet.

School is going well. Trying to decide whether or not I want to continue on and get my Bachelors degree. Some say that I might as well just keep going since I'm in school mode, others say that unless I have a clear reason/goal to use it that it's just a waste of time/money. We'll see....I have a few more months before I have to decide. 

Pictures...ok...here are a few. They were taken last Saturday on THE HOTTEST DAY OF THE YEAR....so forgive the melted look. I'm likely going to try to get a few more done soon when it's not so blazing hot. 


Look at those pasty white arms!


The baby goose was pecking at my outfit!


My boy (Marvin) and I....he hates to have his picture taken.


Barefoot in the park....if it wasn't so hot it would have been perfect!

OK...that's enough for now...

George is my man....


Lincoln is second best....


and Teddy is such a loser (Nat's joke!)...


The stadium is beautiful....


I can't wait to go to a game and see my boys of summer win a few games!

Sorry I didn’t post a month 17 or 18 update…life happens…

Weight Loss:  Total: 161 lbs
Highest Weight: 370, Pre-Op: 361, Current: 200, Goal: 175

So…..I’m on the brink of onederland….have been for a few weeks now. I seem to be losing and gaining the same 4-5 pounds over and over again. I’m hoping that if I can stay away from the mini-chocolates and Cheez-its I’ll be in onderland soon. I’ve decided to not do measurements as often anymore. I’ll probably do them every yearly anniversary now….they just aren’t changing much anymore and honestly the excess skin makes it difficult and a bit defeating.  I had my check-up with Dr. Anez (ok, really Tiffany does these) and my labs are perfect….I’m a model patient doing everything I should apparently. I just need to up my exercise a bit more and keep those snacks in check to lose these last 25 pounds!

The holidays were pleasant, with some awkward moments, but good overall. I got to spend time with my family and just relax. I also decided to change jobs for the new year! I started my new job on January 2. I really like my new co-workers and am so much happier because I’m so much busier and using my brain again! It feels like a fresh start in a lot of ways.

Speaking of fresh starts, my hubby and I have decided to call it quits (at least that’s the latest decision!). I speak to my lawyer next week, but the hubby still has high hopes that I’ll change my mind and stop the process (Hope is not a strategy, my friends!). I don’t see any reason to stop the process since we’ve been separated over a year and have seen little to no progress on the things that matter. He still struggles to keep his emotions in check (anger, frustration, whatever you call that toxic-venom he leaves in my voicemail box), nor has he really figured out what he wants to do with his life other than live day to day (he’s 35, no ambition to get ahead so we can do/get things we said we wanted from life). This decision sucks, it’s not easy and honestly if I had any hope that he could and would change for the right reasons I probably wouldn’t go through with it. But I’ve not been given reason, other than foolishness, to have that kind of hope anymore. So…this is of course adding all kinds of stress and causing me to really deal with some of these emotions rather than eating my way through them….I’ve stumbled a few times already and know that I’ll probably need to reach out to my friends and family more than I’m comfortable with…maybe even get my bum back into some counseling, though I can self-talk my way through things most days.

School is going well although Algebra is continuing to kick my brain hard! I’m just not a math girl! I still have a really good GPA (though that doesn’t matter really right!?) which is nice. Approx. one more year of classes and I’ll get my first degree. I know I’ll need a break at that point before I go on…and I’ll need to start working on the student loans. Why does money have to be such a hard thing for me…I get ahead (new job) and then get behind for good reasons (school). Will the get ahead part ever be consistent or will it always be a teeter-totter?

I know I’ve been a bit MIA on the boards, but usually by the time I pop on and read someone else has already said what I would say, so why bother?! Just know that if you ever want or need to get in touch I do check the boards and PMs on a regular basis. OH…and I’m working on that new picture. Just gotta figure out again how to make it the right size for my avatar. In the meantime…here’s an updated one (from early December when my dad visited and we went to the Redskins/Bears football game):

 

OK…I have rambled on long enough.

Here's the update (as of November 19)!
Weight Loss:  Total: 155 lbs
Highest Weight: 370, Pre-Op: 361, Current: 206, Goal: 175

Measurements (Totals for entire journey.):
Neck: -2.25 inch
Upperarms:  -6 to 5.75 inches (hard to do with skin issues)
Wrist: -1.25 inches
Bust:  -15 inches (had this wrong last time), under -14.75 inches
Waist: -16.5 inches
Hips: - 17.25 inches
Thighs: -13.75 inches (hard to do with skin issues)
Calves: 9 inches
Ankles: -1.5-2 inches

SO...I lost a few pounds...and they literally fell off me within the past week. I can only attribute that to upping my protein. I've been bad about doign at least one a day (as recommended by my Nut.), and finally got on the wagon with it last week. Definite motivation to continue! This puts me at 7 pounds until onderland...I was starting to lose hope that I'd get there...but I will!!  I know I also need to do more exercising....still a struggle! 

The holidays are upon us and it's a weird season for me this year. Lots of the things that I've grown to love doing involve my hubby...such as sending cards, getting a tree, parties, etc. Since we're still in limbo land (which is good news because that means he's not screwed things up so that we're not together) I find it hard to know the balance of what to do and not do. I've decided no cards this year....too weird to explain why just my signature, or if things go south, why we did them (would feel deceptive). As for the tree...I'll probably get one, may ask him to help or just do it while my dad is in town for the Redskins game (yeah!). Parties I'm taking one at a time....some I'll invite him along, others maybe not. Thanksgiving we're supposed to go to my aunt and uncle's home...which will be a nice treat. They are rooting for us and are aware of the struggles so we won't have to pretend wtih them. As for Christmas, I've decided to go "home" to California. It'll be nice to see family, but also a bit ackward since I may have to tell a few white lies about our situation...I'm just don't want to have to share all the gory details with everyone in the family.  BUT, overall, I guess I'm excited about the season and am feeling hopeful. Maybe my prayers of restoration for my marriage are coming true....too soon to be 100% sure. For you praying type, I'd love it if you'd say a prayer or two for us.

Everything else is going pretty well. I'm officially a Sophomore in college now! Of course, I'm not starting the dreaded Algebra classes...ugh...anyone want to tutor me? I never have been very good at math, but I'm hoping that this time around I'll get it easier, although learning online seems to be a bit of a hurdle. Thinking positive though and hoping for the best.

Well, that's all for now. May each of you have a blessed holiday season and I'll try to get some new pictures soon....holidays are good for that.

Life's been to crazy to focus on my WLS stats. Sorry, don't even have a weight for ya. I feel good but know that my weight loss has slowed to a crawl....but on a good note I fit into a size large dress at a "regular" mall store this weekend. BUT, I did catch myself with a bag of chips on the couch after having a tense conversation this morning...old habit be gone!

School is getting harder and requiring more time than I am wanting to motivate myself to give right now. The classes I'm currently taking are just not that inspiring...and next block I have algebra! UGH! 

Work is....work....not going to go into it on here because well, I read Dooce (www.dooce.com) and she got fired for bloging about work. I can't afford to make the same mistake (Hello to anyone from work!). 

Marriage....I gave him one more chance to be the man I know he can be and wants to be. I'm skeptical, but hey....what can one more chance hurt? Pray that he can figure out how to regulate his emotions when things get hard...the main issue. Pray, Pray, Pray....either way I know God will work thing out for both of us. 

What else....I think that's all I have for now....Hope you're well OH friends.

Here's the (much anticipated?!) update (as of September 19)!
Weight Loss:  Total: 148 lbs
Highest Weight: 370, Pre-Op: 361, Current: 213, Goal: 175

Measurements (Totals for entire journey.):
Neck: -2.25 inch
Upperarms:  -5 to 5.5 inches (hard to do with skin issues)
Wrist: -1.25 inches
Bust:  -18.75 inches, under -13.5 inches
Waist: -16.5 inches
Hips: -16.75 inches
Thighs: -13.75 inches (hard to do with skin issues)
Calves: 8.5 inches
Ankles: -1.5 inches

The numbers sound amazing (18.75...you KNOW I don't have any boobs left! HA! 16.75 I'm not round, but have hips again!). 

The weight loss is slow....I'm wondering if I'll ever be in onederland, but I'm glad a few people on the boards mentioned that if you "stalled" on the way up at a weight, you stall on the way down. This was the weight I got too the last time I lost a bunch of weight....and stalled then too. SO, I'll be patient, but I also know that I STILL need the kick in the pants in regards to exercise. WHY IS THAT SO HARD FOR ME!?!  

I'm planning on going to the Oct. 6 conference and then dinner afterwards. Hopefully I'll get to meet some of the newbies....Thanks to Ann and Joe for being the leads on the dinner. You two are great!

Anyway, non-WLS update...well, I'm gonna have to pull back on some things that I put in my blog....at least for now. Being that this is a public forum, I need to be a bit more careful for a bit. Just know that I'm doing better emotionally though things have NOT changed much. It's amazing what making up your mind and having a plan will do for ones mental health.  If you have any questions or concerns, feel free to PM me. I am willing to share what's going on in my life (a bit!), just not in such a public way right now.

One update though...I did go to my Dr. about the depression stuff. She ran a bunch of tests but they all came back normal. She said that I'm just "dealing with life" and all should even out soon once things calm down again...and I think she's right. It's comforting to know that my issues aren't medical and that I do really just have to find a way to deal. I'm so grateful to have a Dr. that didn't just throw a drug at me and say "go be happy." 

I hope you're all well....I'll try to take some pictures again soon...I know those are the fun things in our blogs!

So, my 13 months came and went. I think I've only lost about 4 more pounds, still no measurements. My exercising has come to a halt again and my depression is really starting to bug me. I've considered going to my PCP for depression drugs, but I can honestly say that my depression is more situational than chemical...I know this, yet it doesn't help much.

SO...I'm going to make this a short one because honestly, who wants to read me complaining about the same old crud going on in my life.....

Just a bad week....I'll bounce back...right!?

Here it is...my one year post op update!  Unfortunately, I don’t have proper measurements to share for this month. I do have my weight and some news regarding my goal.

My weight journey:

Highest: 370  Day of Surgery: 361  Current: 219  Goal: 175/142 (revised/previous)

I’m in a consistent clothing size that begins with a 1 now…shirts are normally around a 14 and pants are normally an 18. Dresses range from 14 to 16. My goal has been revised by my Nut.  It sounds much more doable and I can actually wrap my head around it. Of course, if I keep losing weight once I get there I won’t be worried until I reach the original goal, then I’d want to stop for sure.  In order to meet this goal, hopefully by January, I’m planning on really getting back on track with exercise and may hire a personal trainer to help. Of course, finances always play a (negative) role, which sucks.

My labs were great except for my “transfer” proteins. I confessed I’d stopped using protein supplements since my 9-month appt. My PA and Nut both recommended that I add at least one back in since I’m not getting enough of that kind of protein through food alone at this point. I also have a hard time doing protein at breakfast, so I think if I concentrate on “fixing” breakfast and adding in one drink a day I should be fine. Everything else, including the bone scan, was perfect. Here is an updated picture of my scar for those that are on "scar watch". (Link will open in a new window for those that don't want to see it.) Also my one year out picture (and pre-op below that as a refresher):

Pre-Op

Eating has really not been a challenge other than to make sure I don’t go back to those nasty habits that got me into the pre-op place I was. I find that when I’m most stressed I tend to turn towards carbs. I am trying to learn how to deal with stress in non-food ways. I’m hoping that the exercise will become a stress reliever and I’m also trying to find a group at my church to find others to “do life” with me. I have missed going to the WLS support group, but hope to get back on track in that area too. Between all the different ways I’m planning on taking care of myself I hope not to turn to food again.

Why so much stress you ask!? Well, the job situation has been trying. My boss was let go in April, I was “temporarily” reassigned to another person. SO, I started looking for something new. I turned down an offer internally (various reasons, but I just knew it wouldn’t be a good fit) and then got and accepted an offer externally. I accepted it the day before I went to CA for vacation (more on that in a bit). The whole time I was in CA I kept wondering if I’d made the right decision. I never had a solid peace about it. SO, when I returned to work after vacation, my current job told me that my reassignment was permanent and they weren’t going to eliminate my job…I could stay and they’d work on utilizing my skills in a better way (instead of me being bored most the day). SO, I rescinded my acceptance and decided to stay put. That was such a hard phone call to make!! UGH! That was a few weeks ago and finally, just this past Friday I was told that my current employer is reassigning me, again, so that I can work on some projects that are really exciting!  SO…other than the stress of new job responsibilities, that should settle down.

Of course, there is always the stress I call my marriage. We are so not in a good spot again. I am losing hope (or have I already?) that we’re going to make it. I love the darn snot, it’s just that he doesn’t get what I need and how to behave in a safe, nontoxic manner. We had a huge fight on my 1 year post op anniversary…which showed me that any progress I’d thought we’d made was all smoke and mirrors. I am so sad about this and not really sure how to proceed. I’ve been seeking lots of wise and Godly counsel. It’s not an easy thing to have to deal with and make decisions about. I keep praying for guidance…God will direct my steps.

SO…my vacation! What fun it was to see my family and friends! I got to spoil my nieces…which is always my goal. I also got to see some “old” friends from when I lived in CA…such a joy to spend time with people that know your “story.” They all were very complimentary about my weight loss. This was the first trip in a really long time that I thought “I maybe could actually live here again”…but we’ll see how life twists and turns. Here is a picture of my bowling adventure with my nieces:

School started again (I took a 2 week break). My classes are a bit harder, but still not overwhelming. I’m glad that I’m pursing my degree…a life-long dream/accomplishment underway!

I had my celebration party with my friends. It was SOOO much fun! The infamous blue dress fit, but actually was a bit too big by the time we went on the cruise. We ended up going on a brunch cruise on the Odyssey. It’s such a beautiful boat and trip down the Potomac. We had a ton of fun eating, dancing and just generally having a great time.  I’m amazed at how well my friends from all walks of life got along so well together. It makes me proud to say that I pick really good people with to be friends with…quality people that can recognize that quality in others. Here’s a picture of us being silly:

Well, this entry is pretty long, so I’m going to sign off for now. As always, thank you for reading my blog…feel free to comment, PM me or get in touch with me some other way if you have any questions or encouragements! Blessings to you!

I actually got measured on time this month! Yeah! Here are the results: 

Weight Loss:  12lbs (since April 10) (Total: 134 lbs)
Highest Weight: 370, Pre-Op: 361, Current: 227, Goal: 142

Measurements (Totals for entire journey.):
Neck: -1.5 inch
Upperarms:  -4.5 inches
Wrist: -1 inch
Bust:  -11.75 inches, under -12.5 inches
Waist: -15.25 inches
Hips: -14.5 inches
Thighs: -12.25 inches
Calves: 5.75 inches
Ankles: -1.5 inch

So, things have slowed down considerably. The inches still are coming off from the bottom half, so I'm fine with it overall. I know I need to be better about exercising and that will jump start my loss again. I also need to cut out the crappy carbs! They are just too easy. 

I'm doing much better emotionally these days. I had a "moment" that has shifted my outlook. I know that I will be fine and right in the palm of God's hand no matter what happens in my life. As long as I'm doing what God tells me to do, I can't go wrong. What peace that thought brings. I have my moments of course, but wow...I really "feel" better. 

I have my New Year's goals posted in several place (see January blog). I recently came to realize that I'm actually making progress on each goal I set for myself. I've not been overly intentional about doing anything (except the weight goal), so I really think that just by having them ever present in the background of my life has helped.  Pretty amazing if you think about it.

SO....I finally made a plan for my blue dress celebration!  I have invited several girlfriends to join me on an Odyssey cruise! We're going to all dress formal and celebrate! I'm calling it a celebration party and have asked each friend to come with at least one thing in mind to celebrate. I'm thinking I may make a little something for each of them as a memento of the day...we'll see how time/funds play out. It's the weekend before my one year surgiversary, so that will certainly be on my list of things I'll be celebrating!  I'm super excited to have the opportunity to wear my dress, spend the afternoon with some of my greatest girlfriends and just plain celebrate the good things in life. For too long I've focused on the negative, it feels good to finally be in a more positive mindset. 

Thank you, as always, for all the support I get from this site and the people that make it up. I've made some true friends....and I am grateful.