Paula Prichard
Just a bit about my experience in hopes it will help someone else...
10/01/01: Hi everyone. I have been "pre-approved" for my open RNY and my surgery date is January 17th, 2002. I still need an angel, so feel free to volunteer! lol I am really excited already and am counting the days. I've been overweight since age four. I have no clue what it is like to shop at Gap, to go to the mall with friends and be able to shop in the same store as them. I am tired of trying to squeeze into booths when we go out to eat, tired of only going to movies where the arms lift up so my butt will fit. I am ready to make a change. This is so depressing. This surgery is my light in the dark. My family and friends are half and half on me getting this operation...but then again, they are all thin so I feel like screaming,"Hey...when you are 200lbs overweight, then you can get back to me on why I shouldn't do this." I am not entirely sure what "pre-approved" means, because I still have to wait for my insurance to say "yes, we will pay", but I have a surgery date none the less and I intend to do it even if I have to pay for it all!
11/7/01: Howdy. Well I was officially approved in a record 3 business days. WOOHOOO. I am going on vacation next week and I'll be gone for a bit over a week and then on to take my psycho eval and my h pylori test. As soon as those are done they can book my OR time for my slice and dice session. lol I am really excited. That means I could possibly lose 100lbs before my birthday, May 30th. What a present!!
12/18/01: Met with Dr. Wood today. He is REALLY nice and very informative. I am ready to do this! Small change in the date due to work projects. The new day is January 24th!! :)
01/07/02: Hello!!! 17 Days till my surgery!!! I am so excited! I find myself wanting to tell everyone I meet about WLS. I went to my hubby's company party Sunday night and I ended up handing out a card and a booklet to this lady who works with him. I also have started talking to another Paula on here...say a little prayer that she gets approved!!
01/07/02: Hello!!! 17 Days till my surgery!!! I am so excited! I find myself wanting to tell everyone I meet about WLS. I went to my hubby's company party Sunday night and I ended up handing out a card and a booklet to this lady who works with him. I also have started talking to another Paula on here...say a little prayer that she gets approved!!
01/14/02: Howdy! TEN more days!! Just thinking about it makes me all jumpy. I am really excited, but I've started to enter the nervous phase. The only bad thing health wise that I have is hyperinsulinemia. In English that means my body makes too much insulin and I store it as fat. The only way to get rid of that condition is too lose weight...which is a pain in the a** when you store everything...and secretly love anything with carbs. Long story short, it has been linked to causing ovarian cysts and Sunday I spent all day at the hospital getting poked, prodded, sonograms, CAT scans, and blood draws to find out I had another cyst. No biggie, they just give you mass drugs and send you home till it ruptures and your body re-absorbs it...but I am 10 days till my new birthday and we can't have pain meds!! AHHHHHHHHH!! It feels like a game of rugby is goin' on down there. Horrible. I wouldn't have gone to the hospital, but it pain was so bad I couldn't sit up or stand up...I was just all hunched over and when they did the CAT scan they though I had a pool of blood behind my uterus. Turns out it is just fluid from another ruptured cyst. Ladi-dah. Anyway, that will be over and done with once I lose all my weight. Oh, and I just want to say a HUGE thank you to my ANGEL *Sheryl Titone*!! What a sweetie for volunteering to be my angel. LOVE YOU!! :)
01/19/02: OH MY GOSH!! Only FIVE more days!! I can't sleep at all. I've been totally consumed with daydreaming about being thinner. I met a girl for lunch last week who had this done 2 years ago. She started at 350 and is down 190lbs!! I hope I can do that. The only thing I'm worried about is being all baggy. She had her boobs done, tummy tuck, liposuction on her hips and back and she said her arms and thighs looked bad. I HATE pain of any kind and needles scare the heck out of me so I don't know if I can do all that plastic surgery if I look like her "after" did. I don't want to go through all this to lose weight and then still look bad. I know that is totally superficial of me, but I'm only 22 and I don't want to be dating later and have the guy be repulsed if he sees me, you know? Ack, I think the psychological part of this is harder than the surgery...of course I say that pre-op. LOL My pictures were finally posted...and I will say I didn't pick the goods ones...those two don't make me look too huge. I'll hunt for one that will show you "the glory" of me. lol I do have some bad news... My hubby and I are (well more me) are considering divorce. Well more than that, I got the papers. Very sad, but who is really ready for marriage at 20? I know now I wasn't, but what a time...going through that and my surgery at once. My friend and I joked the other day that we'll be having Prozac parties before long! lol :) Well I'm at work today (Saturday) wrapping up all my projects because I'm only working Monday and Tuesday. Wednesday I'm in the hospital for pre-op testing and THURSDAY is my day!!! YAY!! Thank you VERY MUCH to Sheryl my *ANGEL* and to all of you who post messages on my profile! LOVE YA! :)
01/23/02: I haven't slept in a week. lol Today in about 20 minutes I'm leaving to go to the hospital for all my preop testing. Talk about stressing me out! Today I can only have clear fluids and if there was ever a day to try to eat at every fast food place in Michigan, it's today!!! Well I guess I can look forward to a yummy magnesium citrate cocktail when I get home. lol
02/01/02: Howdy!! I am alive! lol My surgery was last Thursday and according to Dr. Wood it was textbook perfect. I was completely miserable and wanted someone to kill me because the pain was so bad, but I pulled through. I went home on Sunday and unfortunately had to go back on Wednesday. I had a fever of 101 and I was severely dehydrated. They needed to get an IV in, but they tried both wrists, elbows, arms, forearms, groin and neck and no dice. It was pretty horrible. All said and done I was poked over 25 times and still no IV. Long story short (haha) they made me drink two pitchers of water and send me home late Thursday night. Today is Friday and I feel a million times better. My staples are all out and my incision is almost totally healed. I can almost wipe my rear (gross to share, but I'm sure you know what I mean...new best friend, wooden spoon). I get up and down pretty well, and on NO pain meds since I came home on Sunday. I will say that after I walk up the stairs, go potty, shower, brush my teeth and hair I can hardly stand up I'm so tired. Ugg. Other than that I'm good to go. My hubby is off to the store to get cottage cheese...man that sounds good! LOL Ps- Official one week weigh in...12 POUNDS GONE FOREVER!!!!! WOOOOOHOOOO xo 01/23/02: ACK!! My surgery got pushed up...12 HOURS until I leave!! I just took my wonderful magnesium drink and I am miserable. lol Thanks to my angel, Sheryl, for checking on me today! Love you all, see you on the other side!!! xoxoxo
02/03/02: Hello. I'm feeling MUCH better today. I am tired as all heck though. I am serious when I say I need to nap at least once a day. Today was my brother's birthday and I feel bad...I totally cheated. I am supposed to be on soups and cream of wheat...well for breakfast (around 12pm) I had 3 bites of cream of wheat...then at 3 I have a small (we're talkin' marble sized) bite of muenster (soft) cheese and 7 gold fish crackers...later I had two more pieces of cheese and a TINY bit of grilled swordfish. MAN WAS IT GOOD. I didn't get sick at all but now I'm paranoid that I've damaged my pouch!! ACK!!!
02/06/02: OMG!! I went to the doctor yesterday and my OFFICIAL 11 DAY loss is 24 POUNDS!!!! Isn't that crazy!!! I did the happy dance on the scale. I am now down under 350! :)
02/08/02: I'm depressed today. I can't tell hardly at all that I've lost 25 pounds. What if it comes back?!?! What if this is all I'll lose?!?! I need Prozac. lol
02/11/02: Ok, I have not lost anything more after my first 25. I'm only 18 freakin' days out, how can I be at a plateau already?!?!?! If I drink any more water I'll be sick.
02/13/02: I might have lost 3 more pounds, I'll know for sure on Friday. I have been sooo sick to my stomach this last week. I'm going back to the surgeon on Friday to make sure this is a "normal" reaction and not part of a problem. I am really depressed about not losing like I was, but I'm only getting in like 500 calories a day if that and I know my body is shutting down to conserve. I'm sure once I eat more I'll lose more...too bad everything I eat or drink makes me nauseas...hopefully I'll get that taken care of on Friday. Oh, and buy some of those tanktop things with the built in bra! I got 2 for $25 at the AVENUE store. My underwires were like hell on straps since it cut me right at my incision. PAIN!!! lol Plus these new things hold in your gut which feels great....that binder is a pain in the you know what!! :)
02/19/02: Well when I went back to the surgeon I had gained, yes I said GAINED two pounds. I wanted to sit there and cry. I did NOT go through all this #(*)&$ to GAIN two pounds. Anyway, the surgeon said he wasn't worried about it since I was still really dehydrated and that just meant I was retaining all my fluids. Since then I have really tried hard to push in more water and I think I've lost 4 pounds. My home scale is is a piece of crap. My weight can fluctuate up to 10 pounds in one day, so I just went out and bought a tape measure and will go by that. I am going to go to the dr's office on Friday as that will almost (the 24th) be my one month anniversary to get the official weigh in. I'm also concerned because the last three days I have NOT had my full feeling while eating. This scares me since my problem was portion control. I am a giant nerve wracked mess! LOL I have an appt March 1st for a checkup and vitamin review, so I'll be sure to let him know I'm a mess too! lol I have now been to the grocery store about 500 times trying to find something that sounds good. lol
02/22/02: I went back to the surgeon's on Thursday for my four week weigh in and I finally lost another 3 lbs. That's 3 pounds in 6 days, so I'm good with 1/2 a pound a day. :) I'm going to buy this exercise gazelle thing today and once I start actually working out maybe it'll start to drop faster. Plus my monthly visitor finally showed up so maybe I'll all bloated...we can only hope. LOL
02/26/02: I went to work for the first time on Monday. By 10am I was ready to lay down and nap. My back, stomach and shoulder muscles were soooo sore. I guess I hadn't sat up that long since surgery. Anyway I was supposed to go back part time, but it's such a long drive to work that my boss said I could work a full day Monday and take Tuesday off and so on. So I did! At the end of the day I could barely drive home. NO ENERGY!! I did finally throw up for my first time yesterday. I thought it was a dumping episode, but someone e-mailed me and said it was just too much too fast. I ate two baby carrots and a slice or two of red bell pepper. I felt like I ate too much and was having chest pains. Then like 10 minutes later I excused myself and BLECH!!! I was in the middle of a Mary Kay party. Oh joy. lol I have felt like crappola all day and my pouch is sore. Then to make it worse I ate too much at my first meal of the day and haven't been able to eat since, my pouch is soooo irritated. AHHHH! All in all though, I would do it again. I think I've lost a little over 30 pounds, but I'm trying not to obsess with the scale, so I'm not sure. I go to the doctor's on Friday, so I'll let you know! :)
03/02/02: Howdy. Well, I have lost officially 37lbs since surgery! I went in yesterday for my checkup. I also mentioned that I can barely function without naps and I got a B12 shot right in the a$$. It wasn't too bad, but this morning when I went to shower I noticed I had a HUGE blood mark on my NEW undies and the bandaid was all bloody too. Yeesh, nothin' like a little B12 to get the blood flowin'! I also tried on my jeans today, size 32 and they are loose!! WOOOO!!! I then tried on my 28's...and I have about 10-15 more pounds to lose before those fit. I LOVE those jeans! lol I can't wait to get rid of the ones I'm wearing now. Wanna know something funny? I went to put my socks and shoes on and I could bend over without getting out of breath AND I could cross my legs. I know that sounds pathetic, but I think it is awesome. Also, my tummy is feeling much better after last night. I went to eat at the Macaroni Grill. I had grilled salmon, but I ate too much too fast. I puked twice on the way to the movies and for about 30 minutes in the movie theater bathroom!! HOW EMBARASSING!! Anyway, several people asked if I was ok and I said, yes thank you I'm just pregnant. HELLO, LIE!!! I thought saying that would make me look like less of a drunk for puking in a public bathroom. A lady e-mailed me this morning to say she has been "pregnant" several times during her WLS. LOL Oh well, you gotta do what you gotta do...although I will be carrying my own little barf baggie with me from now on. BLAH. lol
03/06/02: I had to leave work early today. I was in such horrible pain. My left ribs were KILLING ME! Turns out I have been too active and have torn some muscles. If I'm not feeling better by Monday they are going to scope my pouch just to make sure it's ok. Ugg. I guess it's better than having a surgical complication. Now I'll just have to get on my hubby about getting off his arse and helping out. ARGH! On the PLUS side, I have lost another 2.5 pounds! :) The surgeon's partner prescribed me some horse tranquilizer. I took one around 2 and slept till 5. I felt like I had about 10 beers. I was dizzy, slurred speech, couldn't see straight....wonderful huh? lol
03/07/02: I'm feeling a bit better today, but I'm going to stay home from work tomorrow to rest. I'm nervous because I left early yesterday to see the doctor and I know my boss wasn't too happy with me. I need my job, but what can you do if you feel crappy??
03/14/02: HOWDY. Well, not too much goin' on. I have now flashed my panties about 3 times when my pants have fallen off. I think I look fatter when I wear my pants because they're SOOOOO HUGE. hehe I've made several friends on here (my three little angelettes, Debby O., Sonya Pursel, and April McBride) and one of them is a punk since he NEVER posts...BILL P. LOL Anyhoo, I'm going to go starch and iron my shirt so I look semi-professional for my meeting at work tomorrow. I've been super BUM this past week. hehe
03/17/02: Happy St. Patty's Day! I hope you are wearing green or I'll be forced to pinch you! ;) Anyway, good news on the home front... I bought a skirt at Lane Giant yesterday that was TWO (yes I said TWO) sizes smaller than my preop size (which was only like 1.5 months ago) and when I got home...IT WAS TOO BIG!!! I about cried I was so happy. I had to restrain myself from running out to buy everything the store had in my *NEW* size, but I know that none of it will fit in a few weeks. I can tell this is going to be an expensive journey. lol
03/24/02: HOWDY. I bought some new undies this weekend. THANK GOD. My other ones were falling off. I also took some more pictures- me front view, side view, back (OH GOD) view...I still look fat. Blah. I was just starting to think I look like a supermodel and then I saw that picture. GOOD GRIEF. I think I need an eye transplant. I honestly don't see me in the mirror as big as I am. Maybe that was my whole problem to begin with. I knew I was fat, but I didn't think I qualified as hippo. Meanwhile I had surpassed hippo and had moved on to elephant. Anyone know anyone who wants to donate some WORKING eyeballs?! lol On the good side, I have dropped three sizes. :) I also met a guy from the site this weekend and we went to the mall and then out for lunch. I have met 3 people from this site now and all are sweethearts. Two gals and a fella. Hey, that could be a title for a sitcom. hehe Ps- I'm at 50 pounds down now.
03/31/02: Happy Easter! I went to a Piston's basketball game last night and let me just say....I was excited my big butt fit into those tiny stadium seats!! I didn't leave with bruises on my hips. Now mind you I wasn't able to turn somersaults or anything, but to get in and out without feeling like a 300 pound sausage stuffed into a case for a 3 ounce hotdog was nice. That and I didn't "overlap" on the poor shmuck next to me. LOL It's the little things, huh? :) Ps- If one more person says "gee, you look like you lost a little from your face" I'll scream. Almost 60 lbs and you ONLY notice a "little" from my face? I must've had this huge head. lol 03/28/02: Well, I'm down 5 more pounds!!! I feel like it's falling off at the moment...watch me be on some hellacious plateau next week for a month!! lol A friend at work today told me I was "frumpy" looking because my clothes were hanging off me. LOL What wonderful friends. I suppose I'll break down this weekend and buy something that fits. ALSO, I've been faithfully taking measurements and the part where you get fitted for the bra size around your ribs has SHRUNK 6.5 inches, but not my boobs! I thought that was the FIRST place it melted??!?! I'm a bit discouraged. I was kinda hoping they would be the first to go, ya know?? Hello Dolly Parton look alike. LOL
03/31/02: BLAAAAAAAAAH. I have eaten a handful of candy throughout the day and man do I feel like crap. I've been lethargic and somewhat dizzy all day. Easter is now off my list for favorite holidays. All candy makers should die.
04/07/02: Happy Sunday! I am soooo lethargic today. Yesterday I was up at 7am and was BUSY all day. I went to the gym and power walked on a steep incline treadmill for like 30 minutes and then I did that elliptical runner for about 5 minutes. Then I went and dyed a friend's hair, got my nails done, went to the mall and bought a few things and then saw a movie. I was dead tired by the end of the day and I'm draggin' rear today. I want to go back to the gym, but I'm too tired...that and Harley (hubby) took the car to work. I am also going to start changing my BMI calculator deal to show my current stats, but just for the *OFFICIAL* record I was 368 pounds at the time of my consult in December and I had gained another 10-15 prior to my surgery from "last suppering". Blech, the thought of food makes me ill right now. lol Too full!!! Oh, to update you, one of my angelettes, Sonya Pursel, had her surgery and is doing beautifully. April McBride's is on hold for the moment, and Debby O.'s is in a few more days! :-) Jessica Layton is another one, and I don't believe she has a date yet so I'll post more later. I know this sounds awful, but I think I have one more...so if you're reading this mystery angelette, e-mail me!! Oh, I'm also very sad to have read that my angel, Sheryl Titone, lost one of her angelettes this Wednesday. Bruce had a heart attack a few days after his surgery. My heart breaks for his family- may angels be with him always. 04/03/02: Bill P. and I went to visit Sonya Pursel (my first angelette to have surgery!!) at BTC. She looked great! She's very attractive now, I know the men will be beating down her door in the near future if they aren't already! :) I thought I'd post again because I've gotten several e-mails asking about my pending divorce. I was going to sign my papers yesterday but I cancelled so I could see Sonya. I rescheduled for this Thursday. I won't have my hubby served right away though. I'm waiting on some documents from the INS (he's not a US citizen) to see if he bothered to renew his work permit. It's very sad. I love him, but someone who can't commit to the relationship is not someone you want to be with. On a personal note, I also feel that now more men are showing interest in me as I lose weight and I sorta kinda want to date again, ya know? I know that sounds horrible since I did take vows "until death do us part". We'll see. This next two weeks will be interesting. On the plus side, I am wearing some new capri pants today and I think I look pretty damn cute! lol I also have a shirt tucked in...which you normally wouldn't catch me doing, EVER!!! No fat rollin' over my pant waist, no back chub, I'm feelin' GOOOOOD. LOL I have a few more angelettes to add to my list, but I'm at work and I have to keep this short. HAHA :) Best of luck to those of you starting your journey and those of you still on it!! May your weight fall off like my size 32 pants. hehe ps- now officially down 4 sizes baby!
04/09/02: Well, I've managed to drag my arse to the gym for the past several days. The whole thought of going makes me want to yak, but once I get there I really do enjoy it. lol I know, I'm weird. :-) I have been doing this treadmill deal with a HUGE incline and then basically holdin' on for dear life and walk/runnin' my rear off for 30-35 minutes. Then I hope on one of those elliptical runners for the last few minutes until I feel like I'm gonna die. LOL Gotta love it. Stuff at home is a little stressful and I was falling asleep all damn day at work so I'm off for a nap and then the GYM...dum dum dum dum DUUUUUUM. lol Oh, ps- after a week of not losing at all, I lost 7 pounds in 4 days! :-) Go me. Ps #2- Bill P. shall forever be known as the "Cornmeal Man" now. LMAO
04/14/02: This gym thing sucks. I do feel good while working out and sweatin' my arse off, but I am SO tired I can't even tell you. My dad says I'm a wussy puff and I should feel energized, but I can barely walk into the house when I get home. I have an appt on Tuesday to check my protein/vit levels, so maybe something that is fixable will be wrong. At least the weight seems to be coming off a bit faster with my new drop dead routine. lol Happy sweating!!
04/19/02: Well, I'm a big fat slug. I haven't been to the gym in like 3 days. I think I'll go tonight to get back on the workout pony. I'm just really stressed out with my personal life right now and I want to revert back to old habits (you know, stuffing my face). I've eating very little protein the past week and mostly carbs. I feel so fat. Yukky. On a good note, I am now down like 66 pounds. I am a size 22/24 on top and 26 on bottom. My goal is to start school in August in a size 18. I hope I can do it!!! :)
04/23/02: My life keeps getting better! lol I have hit -70 pounds, but my personal life is a big 'ol mess. Still hemmin' and hawin' on the divorce issue, but I also know I don't want to be miserable forever. My sister has finally been shipped off to a private boarding school for kids with behavioral problems, so hopefully she will thrive there. I STILL haven't been back to the gym, which makes me feel fatter, but I swear on my grandmother that I will go tomorrow...and be there longer. I stepped on the scale and it hasn't moved at ALL the last few days so I took care in making sure I got all of my water and then some today and I will drop the carbs I've been scarfing and get on the protein train. Blah. Hope you're doing well!
04/28/02: Well, my grandma is rolling over in her urn because I sure as shootin' did NOT go to the gym the other day. I am now properly motivated and will resume my sweat routine tomorrow. Tomorrow is also the first day of my fitness contest, which lasts one month. I just got news today that my Papaw has a bad form of pneumonia (due to his leukemia), so say a prayer for him. I'm down a few more pounds after my mini-loss last week (thanks to snacking on carb loaded crap all week long). Friday I went to lunch with Bill and then spent the night at a hotel with a girl friend of mine and did girl stuff! We took a Jacuzzi bath and spent the entire night doing facial masks and makeup. lol Then we watch enough HBO to make our eyes rot after ordering room service (which I took like 3 bites of). I miss eating. lol Isn't that terrible? I do. Every day. I was even dreaming about food the other day. I am finally going to post my "REAL" before pic (like on the way to the hospital pic) and then one of me and my friend Friday night...WOW, I have a neck!!!
05/01/02: I DID IT!! I went back to the gym. I'm glad I had a good workout, because I now have to go EVERY day for the next 30 days so I can win that damn fitness contest. Maybe I'll be lucky and I'll keep up my workout pattern so I can't "take off" with my bat wings. LOL
05/05/02: Happy CINCO DE MAYO!! Well, I've gotten back on the gym train and I'm on for the ride. Talk about mental challenges. Yesterday I drove there, got out of the car, circled the car twice, got back in the car to drive off and then I had to MAKE myself go in. I'm glad I did, but how ridiculous is that?! lol Anyway, I've got some wierd form of tonsillitis and I'm not too happy because today it seems to have moved down into my chest and I have NO vacation time at work this month because I'm gone for a week at the end of May on vacation....guess I'll just have to infect my fellow employees. hehe I know they love me. Off to the damn gym again!
05/09/02: My brother turns 13 today!! WOOHOO. Yeesh, I wish I could be 13 again. lol I've been busy with work and the gym lately, so I haven't posted much. I look good, but I feel 80, I'm so dang tired all the time and my last labs said my liver enzymes were high???!?! Gotta go get that checked out now. ON the good side, my cholesterol is 160! :-)
05/14/02: Well, sad news...my Papaw passed away yesterday. He had a rare form of pneumonia that he got due to his weakened immune system from chemo treatment. I feel bad for my Mamaw, I know she'll miss him....I will too. On a happier note, I am definitely weighing in with a TWO in front of my weight, NOT a big 'ol fatty THREE. I've gone from a 32/34 to a 22/24. I am seriously going to have to have some plastic surgery though. My stomach is tolerable, although not my fav, but my arms and thighs....OH LORDY, I feel like I could take flight. Blech. Thankfully it's summer now, so I can try to hide behind a tan, but in the winter y'all are just goin' to have to watch out. :)ps- got really sick today from ranch dressing on plain lettuce, wanted to die...also, raisin bran is of the devil, steer clear!
05/16/02: I think I have the plague. I have been sick for the past two weeks. It's not strep, the flu, a cold, mono, or toncilitis as originally diagnosed. All I know is, my neck is killin' me and my tonsils are so swollen they are touching. Did I mention that my primary doctor gave me samples of some antibiotic that are so HUGE (and unbreakable) that I can't take them!?!? lol Anyhoo, I'm off tomorrow, gonna rest.
05/21/02: Well I feel slightly better, but my throat still looks like some science fair project having to do with mold. EWWW. I'm been going to the gym faithfully every day and I can tell in my legs, but I'm still fat. Oh, I also hit the magic 100 pound loss. I felt all fabulous about it until I saw a recent picture of myself...compared to the "before picture" I look like the next Cindy Crawford...compared to "normal" people I'm still a whale. Damn, I wish this summer was over so I could be another 60 pounds lighter. Blah. Anyhooo, I'm super excited because Saturday I go to Dallas for the week to veg out. I told everyone I wouldn't come back to Michigan until I have a GOOD tan...so weatherman, make it sunny! :) Ps- Don't ask me to angel for you, I'm awful. One of my angelettes is in the hospital with complications, the other one has dropped off the face of the earth and is unreachable and my other two haven't gotten dates. Yeesh, I'm a jinx!
05/26/02: Well it has happened. I FINALLY rode in a plane (Detroit to Dallas) and my butt fit in the seat. Not only that, but the seatbelt fit with a tiny bit extra!! Last time I flew in November I was squished in there so tight I got bruises on my hips and I had to ask for a belt extender. NOT ONLY THAT, but I COULD CROSS MY LEGS!!!!!!!!!! WOOHOOO, it is a banner day people. This now puts me down to 280, a loss of 106 pounds in 4 months and two days. Ahhhhhhhhh. :) Although, I'm on vacation this week and don't expect to lose any weight. LOL I have planned my week around which restaurants I want to eat at...old habits die hard, what can I say. lol
06/04/02: Well I have hit the dreaded plateau. I'm here and the scale is not leavin' the 280 mark. I am on a mission to increase water and actually count protein grams. On a good note, I got a cute pair of capris from my mom for my 23rd birthday on May 30th and they are 22's. They are tight, but they zipped and I didn't pass out. lol Nice, huh? I got my hair chopped SHORT. It was falling out and I swear I was going bald so I got it cut short. It's probably still falling out at the same rate, but I don't notice the short pieces NEARLY as much as the long strands. Oh well, it will be cool for the summer. :)
06/10/02: I think I'm still at the same weight. I can't tell because my brothers keep screwing with my scale and now it can fluctuate up to 10 pounds in one day. I hope I'm on the low end of that 10 pounds. I've been doing HORRIBLY with the protein and water so I REALLY am going to try to get on track tomorrow.
06/16/02: I don't want to jinx myself, but the scale is moving again. My home scale, although expensive, is "off". People keep playing with it and it needs to be calibrated. At any rate, whatever the numbers are, it is moving DOWN, so thank God for that. I am now solidly in a 24 pant and a 22 top. I can tell that if there is not DRASTIC improvement in my arms that I'll be due for an arm job. My chest and torso will fit in an 8 (haha) and my arms will be stuck in a size 22. Blah. Oh well, I've lost over 100lbs...who would have ever thought that?! I want to get one of the t-shirts from the site, but I'm still fat and don't want to walk around with a shirt that says OBESITY on it. Sorry, just one of those things. When I'm like 140, we'll talk. lol
06/20/02: I lied, the scale isn't doing SQUAT. I'll report back when I'm not so depressed.
06/30/02: Well, the scale seems to be moving slowly...and I mean SLOWLY. I think I've lost another 2 lbs...big whoop...only took three damn weeks. ARGH! Anyway, I suppose the fact that I have been eating carbs like their going out of style isn't helping me. I will say that I am drinking ALL of my water and then some. I was going to the gym every single day...but the last three weeks I haven't gone once. I suppose that's also a factor. I just wish someone would boot me in the arse and get me motivated back on track.
07/02/02: Ok, my *NEW* pics are up. I can't change the dang subtitles under the pictures, but the one on the left is me at my highest weight, right before we left for the hospital...390 pounds. The one on the right is me and my friend (I'm on the right) when I was down about 85 pounds....I'm down more now, so I'll update those again later. :)
07/15/02: Slow and steady wins the race, right? Anyhow, just poppin' in to say I'm still alive, plateau over, but I'm still losing slowly. I suppose if I got off my rear and into the gym I'd be back on the fast track. Maybe tomorrow (famous last words)... lol
07/21/02: I just want to share my disappointment in my family. I did the weight loss calculator on here a few days ago and it said I should have lost 132 pounds by now...which I haven't. So I mention this to my stepmom in casual conversation. So tonight we eat ribs and this time they stay down, so I help myself to more...two more times. In all, for dinner, I ate about 4 oz. Right after I put a bite in my mouth she gives me this snotty ass look and tells me that me eating "like that" is the reason I'm not losing as much as that calculator told me. Let me tell you how embarrassed, hurt, angry, etc I was. The she proceeds to tell me I should go back to my psychologist (who did my wls psychological testing) and talk to him about portions. ARRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!! RUDE! If I have issues about my weight, let me tell you, about 90% of them stem from HER telling me I'm fat....since about the age of 3, when I wasn't fat. Now I'm so mad I think I need psychological counseling to prevent accidentally running her over while my fat ass is riding a bike and hers is on the driveway eating chocolate...her favorite pastime.
08/04/02: Well I have know for a LONG time I have issues with weight when it comes to my step mom...well to be accurate, SHE has issues with MY weight. She is always making little comments under her breath and if she tells me I look "like a whale" one more damn time when I wear my favorite striped shirt I'm going to do bad things to her. ARGH!!!! Anyway, the scale is moving down now, however slowly and I am trying desperately to stay away from carbs, although it's a daily battle. I am now 6 months out and deathly afraid of that whole honeymoon phase being over since I still have another 100 pounds to lose. I weighed in in the high 260's the other day at my 6 month appt, so that is a lot down from the original 386 or so, but I still want to lose that last 100. I am moving back to Texas next week and hopefully being on my own again I can control the food I put in my mouth since I won't buy a bunch of crap when I go shopping. I've lost about 120 pounds now and I am solidly in a size 22/24....24 in jeans. Not too shabby from a TIGHT 32. I said I would be happy at a 24, but I'm not. lol I know that if I had my thighs and tummy done I'd be in a 20, but I want to get as close to that magical goal of 150-170 before I do any of that business!! :)
08/14/02: I have packed up and am in Dallas (from Detroit). I finish the second leg of my journey to Lubbock, Texas on Friday where I will live for the next year or two while I finish my degree. I am VERY excited. Unfortunately for me, eating fast food and crap for the last week while I drive from Detroit to Dallas...and not exercising...has made me gain 3.5 pounds. I'm sure some of this is water, but still. I will be working my arse off (literally) tomorrow when we load up the Ryder truck, so hopefully between that and the actual moving in and unpacking that I can drop my newly acquired fat. lol Lovely.
08/28/02: Howdy. I have left my scale behind in Detroit..oopsie!!...and so I'm not sure of my exact weight, but I'm pretty sure it's around 250. I'm looking fairly normal now, and my clothes are baggy again, but I'm really trying not to buy anything until I absolutely have to. I started back at Texas Tech University on Monday and let me tell ya, I've been running my arse off around campus! Good grief, I need a little moto scooter!! :) Not much to tell at the moment, but I did run into a friend in the Student Union today that I haven't seen in THREE years and the very *FIRST* thing he said was "WOW, YOU'VE LOST SO MUCH WEIGHT!". I don't think I've ever wanted to kiss someone that bad! lol
09/03/02: Well I took my first pictures last night to document redness/rash/irritation under my lovely panni. It's not huge, but it is still uncomfortable and I know I'd wear 2 sizes smaller in my pants if it weren't hangin' out down there. When I lift it up *gag* I get this wonderful sense of relaxation in my back, so I know my shoulder pain is from carrying that around. Although the same thing happens when I lift my huge boobs, so maybe I can get a two-for-one deal out of my first plastic surgery. Did I mention my arms and thighs need done too? lol I'll be a puzzle piece of skin when I'm done! :)
09/16/02: I forgot to mention that I went shopping yesterday and....*drumroll please* I bought pants in a 22 and tops in 18/20. WOOHOOO. Not too shabby since I started at a 32/34. :)
09/22/02: Today is my sister's 18th birthday...and I weighed in at 252.5!! WOOHOOO, almost under 250!!
10/04/02: Hangin' in there with a sinus infection and a throat that hurts like hell. School is keeping me pretty busy and married life still sucks. Ahh, stress.... :)
10/11/02: Well it's getting harder and harder to be faithful. I have had a lot of interest from guys lately. They know I'm married (although not in a good marriage), but that doesn't seem to bother any of them!! I can't tell if that is bad or good?! Today I met a guy from my university. He's from Turkey, has a gorgeous accent, very good looking and he has asked me out for coffee. Coffee is innocent enough, right? Ok, probably not, but I'm going anyway. :) I hope to separate from my husband in the next year, sadly, but what can you do. Don't get married young!
10/23/02: Not sure I should even post this, but... Never made coffee with the cute Turkish guy...but he is a great kisser. I know, I know, I'm terrible, but I have found a feasible divorce solution and hopefully if everything falls in place I can do it in December. On the weight loss front, I was losing pretty steadily there for a bit, but I had a bad two weeks with putting my favorite kitty, Percy, to sleep and I gained 3 pounds. Now I'm on a mission to lose it and more. I want to lose about 40 more pounds and then look into plastic surgery. I look "ok" dressed, but naked I am a train wreck. Let's not even start with my lovely 7 inch scar down my stomach...let's talk about huge boobs that refuse to shrink and are killing me, my horrible stomach and my even worse thighs and arms. I feel like if I did the chicken dance I would just about take off...either that or give my self some form of body whiplash. Ahh, the woes of the terminally baggy. Ciao! Oh wait, let me also add that last night I was running to get the phone and I tripped (nothing new there) and I RIPPED a HUGE gash in my 24 pants. I almost cried. I mean they are way too big, but I have 3 pairs of jeans. Two 22's and a 24...now I just have two 22's. Anyway, I hate recycling the same damn pair of pants all the time, but what can ya do? Me=Poor as hell.
11/17/02: Well I'm probably going to rot in hell for this, but the Turkish guy is out (going back to his religious roots and I was corrupting him lol) and I've been casually seeing this other man. I was supposed to tell my hubby that this week was it and we're for sure separating, but it's almost better for us to wait until December when it can be a clean break when he goes to his parents'...I have a ticket too, but I think it will be easier to say I'm not going with you then, than now. I feel like I'm going through this dating revolution. I'm not looking for a relationship, but I guess just affection that I've been missing in my marriage. Nothing excuses being unfaithful, but I have no sense of remorse at all. I think I need therapy. Today I bought a book called "Obsessed Loves" by some head doctor and MAN, did I find some of her descriptions of co-co-dependent people. Like I, in some weird way, thrive off of being in this messed up relationship because it fills a 'void'. I have Savior complex...like taking in stray cats because you "feel bad for them"...which is exactly what I think of when I think of my hubby...I can't divorce him because he had a shitty childhood and I "feel sorry for him". HELLO THERAPY. lol Anyway, dropped some more weight. I seem to lose it magically in my sleep. I better take a week off from life to sleep...might help me get to goal faster. lol ps- I feel bad, I've "casually" seen 5 guys since August and my divorce is not near final. Why do I not feel bad for doing this?!? I wouldn't even feel the slightest bit mad if he was doing the same thing...like then we would have a concrete reason to split....sick sick sick.
11/25/02: Well, I had the divorce talk with my husband...went over pretty shitty, but I expected that. Then, to make the whole thing even more unpleasant, I apparently left my e-mail box open and he read an e-mail from me to the guy I have been sorta seeing (?) and let's just say that "it" hit the fan. Anyway, since we won't be legal residents of the state of Texas until February I can't technically file for divorce until then. He wants to work things out even though he knows I was unfaithful, but so far he has not made any effort past the first day to improve anything and I don't have patience to dote on this anymore. I tried for 2 years, with no return, and I am done. I'm still seeing (is "seeing" the correct term?) the other guy. I know I shouldn't. It is just complicating things, but I like him. Probably more than I should since I'm not looking to get into a relationship right after getting out of one, but he's sweet and makes me smile. I am just so stressed right now. Finals are in one week, it's now 5am and I'm up writing a paper that will make the difference between an A and B in the class, I'm totally stressed out with my home life and I feel like the world is against me. Oh, and let me not forget that his parents bought us tickets to visit them for a week in British Columbia for Christmas (major cash for those tickets) and I am not going. I am going on a cruise to Mexico with a friend to "get away" from reality. I feel HORRIBLE for ditching him and I would love to see some of his family again, but why should I go if I know I'm just waiting until February to say bye bye? He keeps bringing it up and trying to guilt me into going with him...even though as a stipulation of me staying to "work it out until February" I stated that I was NOT going home with him and that was NON-NEGOTIABLE. Uggg....Calgon, take me away.
11/25/02: Wow, two in one day, this is a record! :) Got a few e-mails about my "behavior". Sorry, can't say that I regret doing it, and what's done is done. Saw "the guy" again today and he said he read my last post and felt bad about my comment about complicating things...well don't worry Mr. Anonymous, I enjoy our time together and you're NOT complicating things, I did that myself. lol Even though I said I wasn't looking for a relationship or anything of that business, I feel like I'm back in junior high. I miss him like 30 minutes after after I last saw him. Uh oh, gettin' myself in trouble. :) I also e-mailed a woman who said she would mail me scar pictures of her arms...I'm so ready to get my arms done and after I lose some more, have my stomach and thighs done. Ps- My test today went well. :)
12/29/02: Well, I'm 11 months out now. Down exactly 160 pounds. My "ideal supermodel goal" is to lose 220 pounds, so that means I'm still 60 shy, but it's comin' off. I went on a cruise over Christmas with a friend and I actually lost 4 pounds on the cruise and two more since I've been home two days. Why is it when I try to watch what I eat I stay the same, but when I stuff my face I lose?!?!? I guess I shouldn't complain. My husband found out I had an affair. Let's just say it was pretty horrible. I still have mixed feelings about everything. When he's gone I miss him and I want him home, but the second he walks in the door I can't wait for one of us to leave. I care about him, but I don't think I can live with him. There has been an ongoing saga about him getting back into the country since he let his alien registration permit expire and he's now going to be here illegally. I am going to lay down the law and tell him he needs to contact a lawyer, if he really can't be here for 5 years and can't work or file income tax legally then he'll have to go. I can't live my life constantly worried about that. I feel horrible saying that, but you can only love someone so much. The rest is up to them. But then again, do I want to really have to work so hard at a relationship that is supposed to be the best thing ever? And I'm always mad. I mean you don't (or aren't supposed to) get married to anyone that is less than your "best friend". I know I did the "wrong" by having an affair and I feel horrible about it, but on the other hand when he's not here (like right now) I feel rather calm. No fighting, no yelling about bills, no arguing about who gets the car, I don't have to check in every 2 hours. I know there is a trust issue with me now, but frankly I don't care. I guess I feel like I'm at the very end of the rope holding on by a thread and I don't feel like trying to climb up...so I'm going to sit and wait until someone pulls me up...which I can tell you from experience won't happen. So I'll just fall off and start over. School this coming January is going to be pretty intense, so we'll see. I have so many mixed emotions about marriage, divorce, the affair, school, bills, life, blah blah blah.... I'm tellin' ya, I must have pissed someone off in the Karma department! lol
01/23/03: Tomorrow is my ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY for my surgery! I am still losing, although lots slower...but I am now back on track and DETERMINED to lose my last 50 and get plastic surgery to be the next super model. hehe I'm very happy I did this even though the first month or two I was wishing a truck would run me over....and preferably NOT the one that I thought ran me over originally and just didn't do the job right (HELLO SURGERY PAIN!). Anyway, I'm wearing an 18 on top and 18/20's on the bottom. Never thought I'd say that...especially since I started at a 32/34. BIG MOMMA! My personal life is still in shambles, and so in my marriage. I hope to rectify all that business by the end of next month and move on with life. More to come tomorrow, followed by my ONE YEAR PICTURES!!! hehe
03/26/03: Just checking to see if I have any room on here to update...which I will later this week. :)
04/03/03: Long time, no update. I know I said I would do it last week, but I keep forgetting. Let's see...I am now hovering around 220-225 depending on how bloated I am each day. I am wearing 18's...which makes me feel crappy compared to all the women who are in some magical fantasy size of 6 or 8, but down from a 32/34 isn't too shabby. I'm workin' on my last 25 pounds and then going to get a lower body lift, breast lift/reduction and arms done...that should take off another 20...and I'll be the next Naomi Campbell...except I'm not black...or that tall...or that rich...and my skin won't be that tight...hmmm, maybe I'll just be the next troll? lol Anyhoo, I am currently separated from the hubby. That was an ordeal in itself, which I'm sure I'll ramble on about later...just glad it is nearing an end. I will say that he has commented that the demise of our marriage is partly due to my weight loss...which I disagree with, but whatever floats your boat. I am keeping up with vitamins and so forth, but I know I need to pound the protein to get the last few tons off but that stuff tastes like chalky ass. Doesn't that sound appealing? lol MMM, yummy. Off to eat shredded wheat in skim milk...doesn't that sound good? (no) Ps- I SWEAR I'll update pictures this week. :)
07/15/03: Well I have had my long awaited TUMMY TUCK...upper and lower...and although I still cannot stand up since I had it last Monday, I am FLAT AS A BOARD! My breast reduction was denied by my insurance (cheap bastards) and I am going to be appealing that this week. Especially after my TT you can see that the poor girls are practically touching the floor and my back is screaming in protest. I had a last minute visit from an angel (deb covey) a family friend and a fellow AMOS member who loaned me the money for my surgery. Long story short insurance was going to pay for all of my stomach and boobs, but then they decided to change the policy and include a written exclusion about abdominoplasty in it and my boobs were "borderline medically necessary" they said. BS. Anyway, surprise surprise when they opened me up to peel off the extra skin out pops Mr. Hernia and they had to repair part of my bowel since it had staples sticking out of it (!?!??! WHAT!??!) and then tuck it in and repair the muscle. I have this Godawful tape on my incisions and I can barely breathe Dr. Hughes sewed me so tight, but I look fantastic! haha I'm shooting to get my boobs appealed and get them done over Christmas break, but we shall see. I might like my new Hooters poster child look (since they look about 800 times larger since my waist is so small now haha).
10/23/03: Still hangin' in at the same weight. I want desperately to loose more, maybe 20 pounds, and I know I can--IF I go to the gym. Unfortunately I don't have time. I know, I know, you would MAKE time if you really wanted to go...but seriously, I feel like I barely have time to brush my teeth between working, school, home stress and my delinquent sister. AHHH! I'm going to attempt to do tae-bo in my living room instead. lol I'm sure my roommates will think I'm a nut, but then again there's nothing new there. :) The swelling from my tummy tuck is gone and I look fabulous. lol Too bad my legs are all nasty. LOL They're next on the "to do" list. :) My stitches are kinda gross though, they are supposed to be dissolving, but of course my body is rejecting them and they are coming up through my skin. Lovely, huh? So I have little blue fishing wire looking stuff from hip to hip popping out. I tell ya, I must have been a mass murderer in another life and now is my time to repent.
02/08/03: It's been awhile since I posted. I am now serious about losing the weight and got back on track for the most part and have lost 3 pounds this past week. I just celebrated my TWO YEAR ANNIVERSARY of my weight loss surgery. THANK YOU GOD for this. I am having serious body dimorphic issues though and have thought about some counseling, but even if I hear how great I look 500 times a day I still don't feel like that. I know I'm not an ugly troll, but the SECOND I see a guy I'm talking to glance at another woman (and I'm talking just a random person I'm talking to in the hall for example) I get all nervous and think that they are thinking how fat I am compared to that girl. Irrational, I know, but this surgery doesn't help anything inside your head. I am being fairly productive this weekend and hopefully I'll keep it up this week. I feel like I'm behind in two classes even though I'm not. Weird. :)
02/25/05: Oh my gosh! Yesterday was my 3 year mark and I totally forgot!! I also can't believe it's been like two years since I posted on here. I'll have to write a HUGE book this weekend on my profile to catch everyone up to date. :-)
03/12/05: I have been having some depression/anxiety issues lately. I posted a question on the board about it. I hope someone replies soon before I go nuts. lol Actually, I'm probably already there. I've been going to the gym fairly regularly, and although I have gained some muscle tone, I am NOT losing weight. It's like I'll lose 10, gain 7, lose 3, gain 5. I swear! Ugg....man, I miss the days where you would wake up 4 pounds lighter! lol
06/20/05: Do you ever have those days when you think that finally, things are going your way? Well, it is one of those days. I feel like my personal life has finally gotten cleared up, I have graduated college, gotten accepted into a master's program, gotten a teaching job, and I am ready for the next step. AHHHH!! I feel like the "after" of one of those Calgon commercials. :-) I can't say I've done any better trying to lose the last 20 or 30 pounds since the rest of my plastic surgeries (arms, lower body lift, boobs) has been put off until next summer, but I'm not going up in weight either. I have had a major problem with anemia, but I'm seeing a new doctor on Monday to possibly see about taking iron shots...ugg. I'm glad it is summer. My mantra is "tan fat is attractive fat"...lol Can you tell I typed this at 5am?! lol
06/12/06: HOLY COW- it has been almost a year since my last update! Man, I am not so hot at documenting anymore! lol Okay, so the quick run down of my personal life: Graduated with my bachelor's degree last May, started my master's program (done in Feb of 2007), had a baby...YUP, had my first baby! I was, and am, a die hard member of the Post-Op Pregnancy Forum on here. It is a lifesaver. I gained 22 pounds while pregnant and lost it all plus about 10 more after I gave birth. The pregnancy was pretty uneventful except the ripping scar tissue from my abdominal surgeries. Not so fun. My tummy went back super flat, thank GOD, so my tummy tuck still looks good. I think my waist is a few inches bigger even though I weigh less than my pre-pregnancy weight, but my stomach is still flat and I can't complain since I did have a kiddo. He is ADORABLE. :-D Roman Michael is his name. He was 8lbs and 4oz and 20.5" long. I'll have to type up the birth story some times, but really just imagine the worst pain possible for 13 hours and an epidural that didn't work...oh, and the incompetent medical staff....and that pretty much sums it up! lol I also forgot to mention that the daddy, my new husband, is Bill P....the guy I mentioned in a previous post or two. We met on this website! :-D Anyway, it is 4:21am and sleep is finally calling my name. I will make an attempt to update more frequently. :-) I think I just added my www to my button on my profile, so check it out! I will also try to post some updated pictures of me. I noticed the ones I have up are from 2003. :-)
02/06/07: Well I never did type my update as I promised. :-) To fill you in, I had a revision to my RNY on November 13th of 2006. My stoma had tipped open and the last two years I gained like 40 pounds (not counting preggo weight which I gained and lost). I had a LapBand put around my RNY pouch (Dr. Simpson in Arizona). I started that surgery at 261 and was 255 this morning. It is super slow going and requires way more maintenance than my pouch since you have to fill the band, but I am hoping to get back to like 220 by summer....hopefully that happens! :-) My son, Roman, is now 10 months old and is a doll (check my web link on here)! He is now pulling up on furniture, but hasn't quite figured out how to walk once he is up....but he sure loves to dance! lol I'll be posting some new "before" pics on my web link soon. I am back into an 18/20 top and a 22 or some 24s (although they are loose) pant. This is fairly depressing as I got rid of all my "fatty" clothes and have had to buy new ones...right when I was on the verge of being able to shop soley in the "normal" stores. Ugg. Billy bought me a bike this past week though, so I'm hoping I can get my ass in gear and starting exercising more!
2013 Update...I fluctuate between 210-220 regularly and wear 18's on the bottom and 16's on the top. That would be like a men's Large T shirt or XL if I want it baggy. I did end up having the tummy tuck and hernia repair in 2003, but after I had my second child (Aurora, in 2008), I also had a breast reduction/lift, brachioplasty on my arms, and some lipo to prep my legs for a lower body lift...which I still have not had yet. I am still fluffy and sassy, but I am proportionate, healthy, in a better mind frame, and happy. I still have food issues, but I try to make better choices. Being overweight isn't a food problem, it is a psychological problem, mostly an emotional one...so please don't get this surgery thinking it will solve your problems when the weight comes off. If anything, it brings additional ones. That being said, it was the best thing I ever did for myself and I would do it again. Best of luck to those considering this journey to the "new you".
About Me
Before & After
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