post that should have been written in Oct,2011
Jun 07, 2012
just posting this so folks can see there are things that happen that are unforseen,,ya have to go one step at a time with this surgery and the trick for me was to keep finding things here on this site to keep me focused and upbeat about what i had done,,i had to remind myself many times the reason why i did it and what i was doing before i did it,,,,i was literally dying,,,theres really nothing worst then that,so to me anything that happened while i was trying to fight that ,was an improvement,,i hope this all makes sense to whomever reads this,,and good luck to all ya'll
Back from New York
Jan 05, 2012
I got to spend the holidays with my people it was soooo awesome,,i helped my Mom make all the holiday cookies and didn't eat a one,it wasn't even hard,,they smelled delicious but i was just too scared of getting sick in front of everybody and making them worry and ruin the hoiday.so i abstained and it was great,,
I learned alot of things i can eat though like yummy chicken egg foo young and a tablespoon of the sticky rice that goes with that gravy,and on Christmas i had a small square of Mom's lasagne,,and things i can't eat like lamb stew,,well i probably could eat it a little but it seemed to sit very heavy in my pouch and i burped alot of it up but not noticiply though,needless to say i didn't go for leftovers like everyone else did on that the next day,lol
I hated leaving there, my Mom and my Brothers and Sister are changing with age so much now,God Bless them and grant me a hundred more holidays with them,
I hope everyone's holiday went well,,it's good to be back on OH
Thankful thoughts
Jul 26, 2011
cardiac docs visit
Jun 28, 2011
but that is not the best part,, they wieghed me,,,folks i would never have believed it if i hadn't seen it with my own eyes,,,drumrolll pleaseeeeeee,,,,,,,251 lbs,,,what????i was just 275 on the 15th and 288 two weeks before the pre-op diet,,woooooeeee,,thats 37lbs lost in as much as a months time,,wooo hooooo
i'm getting my fluids in my vits and stuff,, protien i am stil working bringing in at least 50 somthing grams i know thru shakes,,on the brighter side I was able to eat some cottage cheese ,,and this morning for the first time since i can't tell you wehen i had soft boiled eggs and a piece of melba toast it was like heaven....
back from hosp. agian,,,
Jun 25, 2011
Last night i took my ambiem and went to sleep and woke up at 12 midnight with my heart fluttering like crazy,,so i took an extra pill and it stopped,, caled the cardiac nurse today and she told me to double the med and see them on monday or tues,,,,so this condition i got evidently i have always had it surfaced due to the trauma i put on my body from the surgery and me being 56 doesn't help any ,,but on the bright side of all this,,i have lost a tremedous amount of wieght,,i just wish i could enjoy it without worrying that i have done myself some harm,,,the surgery itself has given me no problems whatso ever ,,i have now been able to eat all kinds of soups and shakes and hold them down without any kind of nausuosness thank Jesus,,
so this is my continuing saga just in case any of you guys have this problem it is not uncommon so they say,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
don't pay the ransom they let me out of hosp.
Jun 20, 2011
upon awakening though it was a bit different,,i had a morphine drip and button no drain tube,,when i came to i was full of gas of course, i thought ok i need to move around to get this out so i asked the nurses which were the coolest ladies and they did ,,but the minute i moved my head i began throwing up and then dry heaving,,they said i had motion sickness and it's a reaction to the anesthisia,,funny i had had numerous surgeries and never had this reaction,,but ok,,,so i never hit the morphine button again and they started giving me delauded shots and alot of fenagram and other anti nausea stuff till one finnally worked but ty then my electrolites we down so they had to pump me full of sodium and potasium,,yeah that was fun..
the food trays came and went i couldn't even think of putting aything down there but water,, at least i would have something to throw up,,i hate dry having specially when you have all kinds of incicions in your tummy,,i heaved till i saw stars,,i could not get it under control,,they said till al the anesthisia is out of your system this will happen,,,then labs came back and it said i had an elevated white blood count,,,oh yaaay me...at this point the " what the hell did i do to myself'" came creeping in and i just wanted to die,seriously,,just kill me,,,i begged for an ambien that night and with a full 5 hours of straight sleep under my belt i felt a world of difference on the third day,,
on the third day i gave a glance at the tray and decided to try and put down some of the instant breakfast they had preped..i ended up drinking three med cups of that and actually felt like i would live,,i kept that down and all the water i drank ,,looked like i was on the road to recovery,,,by that eve the doc came in again for the umpteenth time God Bless him,,he was soo worried about me...he told me i would be moved to the other side of the hosp and watched cause my white blood count is up and they had no idea what the problem was,, so off we go,, those nurses were very nice too but they were alot busyier then the short stay nurses on the other side,i did well there i was finally able to move around and get rid of that confounded gas,,you have to move to get that out,,if ya want to be able to take a deep breath again..and ya have to or you'll get pnumonia..
another night and still high white blood count or elevated they said,,ut they felt i was not developing a fever or anything sooooo i could go home but if i develope a fever in the next couple of days to call the office ,,i actually know what the high level is and i tried to tell them,,, i have a damn head cold,,i am still blowing my nose like carazy,,i didn't have it when i went in but it's there for sure now,,it will be fine ,,i feel great cept for all the heaving mucscles i used ,,even my tummy doesn't hurt..well much,,it's the heaving muscles cause me more greif, truley,,
so i'm home,i had some cream of chicken last night i was able to take in 4 oz's,,and this morning i was able to take in 4 oz's of a nectrar capichino protien shake ,,got all my vits in ,,my meds in and oh by the way they stopped my blood pressure meds already since it's so low now,,haha,,and i even gave myself the belly shot of lovenal(blood thinner) and it wasn't as bad as i thought it would be,,so all is good right now,,
love ya'll here on the losing side..hehehe
strange thoughts as of late
Jun 12, 2011
but it is a fight i will win and to the advantage of my body,,,i mean it is me we are talking about and a way of life i want to have again,,soooooooo,,i will pull myself up by the boot straps and stand on my hind legs and do the walk,,admit to the internet in no uncertain terms,,yes i am embararassed for becomeing this way,, yes i am disgusted at myself for letting it get this far,my pain doctors all said 'Dorothy you have to accept you have disabilities now it's only gonna get worse for you if you don't so i listened to them,i let my arthritis pain and the why me's take me out,,and the bigger i got the more it hurt and i knew this and did nothing but accept the enevitable,,to die huge in a chair and soon too,personally i think i was eating myself to death in the first place if ya know what i mean,but theres something about when you get to the bottom that makes you want to kick your feet up and head for the top,,,i am heading for the top folks,,i want to see the sun and the air and breath life into this spirit again,,
so no more pity parties for me,, i am heading for surgery in four days,.,,i will write my "just in case" letters with open in case of emergency on them,,and then i will place my mind, body and this spirited spirit in the hands of our Lord,which is all any of us can do!!!
(ps) I am not really crazy,truley,i talk to myself like this all the time,,LMFAO
question answered.
Jun 09, 2011
final jump,not amused
Jun 09, 2011
so i'm back up stairs waiting for my class and there other folks now comming in for it as well,,there was this very large young man, probably in his early twenties when he walked past me he was breathing and weezing so hard i literally hurt for him,,and another woman had her whole family there,,,and thats when i felt it..the pain of being alone in this,,she had her sister, husband,little girl, older teenage son and a lady most likly her bff,, it wasn't so much envy i felt cause i thought it soo wonderful to have your whole family behind you like that,,i just felt really alone,even though all those people were there about 10 in all for the same thing,,some had a friend with them about 5 in all that didn't,,and i found myself wondering where their support was more then i was in listening to the woman giving the class..
i was not impressed with her,,she couldn't answer alot of our questions and seemed lost,,i knew without a doubt that when people walked out of there if they hadn't prepared themselves via web wise or reading wise then they left unprepaired for trauma that was going to become thier life after surgery. she didn't know the difference between the shakes we're drinking now and the whey shakes ,low fat milk,,powdered milk,she kept saying 64 ozs of fluid but never really why ,cept hydration ,never mentioned once that the fat needed some way out, and she insisted 68 protien but didn't quite explain how one was to do that . one of the people there expressed how alot of us felt on the confusion on how to get that all in along with the vit's and stuf,,her greatest fear she said is that how do we do it,,the woman never gave us alts like making sure we are aware that it's not ozs of protien it's grams so you can put that into your hydrating stuff,,that there are even protien shots you can add to food,,three times a day and get it in,i thought her job was alieviate these fears,,well she did not acomplish it,,the one question i wanted answered again she didn't know,,was if your liver is still faty will they just close you up and send you home or will they open you up and get the job done,,i have liver problems so i am expecting maybe a problem..i will be calling the doc today or his nurse and ask that very question,,i imagine my bloodwork will tell them too i suppose,,
i just thought that there should be more prep then a power point on paper no less,,it felt very impersonal to me,there was no mention the mixed emotions thats gonna happen when you lose alot of weight so fast, how your hormones will go nuts specialy if your young,, or your hair falling out after three or four months,,the mental part of this is to me exceedingly important cause that is that attitude you argoing to carry with you thru out your journey,they should capitalize on that,,,the only new info that i took away from there yesterday was that you can't take your iron vits with your calcium together cause they conteract each other,,didn't know that ,so i will take my vits in the morning and later chew on calcium stuf three times thru out the day,trying to develope a plan clear in my head that i know is most likly going to fly right out the window when i wake up,,haha,,cause it all depends on how well i accept the fluids when i wake up in the first place,that is where it all starts,,ughh ,,but i'll keep the Good Lord with me and lie in his Hands..
Day two of pre-op diet
Jun 03, 2011
sooooo adjusting everyting in my life to fit with all this stuff,,i woke up this morning very late,,(not me at all) but i feel better for it,,,i took a water pill and a half so as to deal with the swellin' and an extra hit of my bp med,,so i am most definetly not feeling as crappy as i felt yesterday,,by yesterday afternoon i was dizzy, tired,heart skipin around,i should have taken a nap,,but i tried to keep my self busy,my head got so bad i couldn't do my band excersises so i have to get them done double today,,but i can sure feel the difference a day makes,,LOL
oh i also wanted to ask anyone if they had to self inject a med after their surgery for 10 days an acount of blood clots??,,i went to pick up a med they said they had called in for me to take after surgery and it was full of prefilled needles,,HUH???,,ooookkkk,,,, so i call the doc and they explain it to me,,nice huh?,,i mean i had to self inject for a whole yr with the chemo i did for my hep so it's not a big deal for me ,but i gotta say it was a surprise,,,
ok i'm out,,thanks for reading,,