KLee7

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What you hear is so true when you read these blogs, vlogs and newsletter and yet it is such a personal journey.

I have had no complications.  Food has gone down so well with no gas pains.  Sugar doesn't bother me in the least...uggghhhh, was hoping it would.  Exercising more than I have in two years which is great.  Lost 16 pound in the first 3 weeks and then stalled the entire 4th week.  Now in the fifth week have dropped 2 lbs in 2 days.  I also had my first stomach ache yesterday.  It scared me a little bit because I had no doctor to go to to see if there was a leak.  Luckily I took one of the pain/nausea pills I got in Mexico and after a nap felt better.  However will be on shakes and Vasso yogurt pops for the next few days to make sure all is well.

So really, I have adapted so well to the physical change.  However I do get frustrated and resentful at times.  I am mad sometimes that I can't eat in quantity and never really feel satisfied.  The addiction I have to food is so real right now and the sleeve has made it that much more obvious.  I have stuffed my feelings, boredom, and fear with food forever and nowit is impossible.  I am substituting walking a lot which is great but still if I am perfectly honest, I wish I could have one day off a week...or even one meal off.  Just not gonna happen and I have to keep reminding m yself that it is the addiction talking.  I also know that I get to go to Overeaters Anonymous to handle these issues before I am too far out.

The saddest thing I can imagine is going through all this only to gain the weight back.  I must find some resolve in letting go of food, my best friend and worst enemy.  Food is solely fuel so I can live the life I always imagined.

Wow...It is finally here.  I actually had a lot of anxiety about doing this diet.  I felt like I couldn't let go of food and painiked.  However I ended up going to Overeaters Anonyomous(OA) two days ago so I could find some support for the emotional part of this journey.  And it really worked.  I was focused on what I was giving up not what I was getting.  So the first day went smoothly and only two more before I board the plane to Mexico to A Lighter Me....crazy...

Man oh Man....these days are going so slowly.  It is like my world has stopped I am self-employed so I stopped working because I kept forgetting client appointments.  SO now my days are filled with You Tube and books about life after surgery.  

I think I am going to spend this Memorial Day weekend forgetting that I am having surgery and just living life just as I am...or at least until I start clear liquids.  My pre-op diet has been alright.  I am experimenting with shakes and some are really good.  I have learned that the longer you blend them the thicker they get...hmmmm, becoming a blending Queen.  And boy do I love the salad at night...something to chew.  (Might have eaten a bit too much salad tonight...Giving up that glutton feeling is hard.  I know that sounds sad but something about stuffing is one of my mental issues...I guess unconsciously I have used food to stuff emotions.   I cannot imagine what it is going to be like after surgery when there is no such thing as stuffing unless you want serious side effects. 

Anyways, feel like I am living in a bubble just waiting to get on the plane to surgery in Mexico...If anyone used A Lighter Me would love to hear from you...Mexico or bust!