1 Week of Low Carb/Keto

Nov 25, 2019

OK, so it's been 1 week and so far so good. I'm back on track and have lost 4.4 Ibs.  I feel good being back on my low carb semi keto diet (I don't eat as much fat as keto calls for).  I'm tempted to try full out keto but am afraid of the high calories and fats.

I did find some great low carb/keto recipes and am enjoying the 90 second keto bread.  It doesn't taste good alone, like a piece of toast or bread does, but it tastes great as a hamburger bun.  I had a cheese burger earlier this week, two days in a row because my Mom made me an enormous burger patty so I cut it in half and ate it for two seperate dinners, lol.  On the day when I know I'm having the keto bread I make sure to eat low calorie for the rest of the day because I find the bread high in calories, although super low in carbs. 

I'm still afraid of calories although a lot of keto people tell me they don't count.  I need to keep my calories under 1000 to lose weight, and I need to keep my carbs under 50.  Most days I try to keep the carbs under 35. Some days they were in their teens. 

I went to go buy protein chips at the GNC store and the new guy who works there is rude. The old guy was so nice, but this new one wasn't. He said they don't sell the quest chips anymore because nobody buys them. Probably my fault as I used to buy them every month and then this summer I fell off the low carb wagon and didn't buy them, lol. Anyway, that was fine. The rude part was his mean lecture on calories in, calories out, and how carbs don't matter.  He was very condescending.  I do believe calories matter; I wish I didn't, lol, but i also believe that for me, anyway, carbs matter, a LOT.

I didn't feel hungry for most of the week. The first few days were hard but then I felt very full eating mostly protein.  My pouch must be so relieved.  

I think I am a food addict, because this summer i was eating foods that my brain liked but my mouth didn't.  It was like certain foods, like donuts, for instance, were so heightened in my mind and they seemed like the pinnacle of wonderfulness, but then I'd have one and not really like it.  The addict part I think is from the fact that I kept eating it, waiting for the anticiipated donut high.  

I know I have eaten in the past to regulate my mood and I believe to me I'm chasing the dopamine response so I tried to find other ways to get that dopamine. I googled it and just about fell over laughing because the number one way to increase dopamine is to eat more protein, lololol.  No wonder I felt crappy all summer, besides the anxiety stuff. I kept chasing carbs to feel good, like the old me did, but my body was craving the protein.  I do feel better mentally this week.  Much more alert, much less fatigues.  It's a good feeling.

I am so mad at myself though, for going into a stupor and not paying attention to my weight so that when I finally stepped on the scale last week it was such a huge shock.  I have to try very hard not to disappear into my head like that again. 

I'm glad my pouch still works, and I'm glad I can feel satisfied and happy on 1000 or fewer calories still. 

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Getting Back on Track

Nov 21, 2019

Well, since I last wrote things have improved a lot. I've been eating low carb high protein again, and have not cheated, even though the house is full of treats that my family likes to eat.  I've dropped a couple of pounds but won't count them until a week has gone by.  I walked for 2 hours today.

Since bread is my downfall, I found some keto bread recipes and one is super easy; only 90 seconds in the microwave.  Super low carb and kind of eggy tasting, but nice to have the option. I only made it twice and it tastes better when grilled in the pan, as a grilled cheese.  

I feel better.  I'd like to lose 10 or more pounds before Christmas.

I wonder if there's a way to add a second tracker?  I'd hate to lose my first tracker as it was such a milestone, but it would be nice to count again.


Feeling Ashamed

Nov 18, 2019

Well, it's been a long time but I'm back.  I had a very rough summer and fall and have been struggling with depression and anxiety.  I gained a lot of weight back and now weigh 235.5 Ibs.  At my low weight I was 168.  My highest recorded weight before surgery was 303.  I've been totally off the rails and eating carbs and sugars.

Every day for the past month I've started off strong and have been eating high protein low carb all day long. Then night time falls and it's like a switch flicks in my brain and I become someone else; someone who doesn't care. And I eat.  

Last night I made it until 2 AM before I messed up and went downstairs to eat cereal.

I know my mental health is doing this to me.  I'm not happy and I'm eating my feelings.  

The only good thing I did all summer was keep up with my exercise. I put hundreds of kilometers on my bike. I did a lot of walking in the fall.  But snow has been on the ground for over 2 weeks; over 2 feet of snow, and I've become sedentary.  I need to get on my exercise bike or walk or swim or something.  

I feel like a big failure. 


OK, so now a few hours have gone by since I wrote that and I am feeling better. I've lost the weight before and I can do it again.  

I'm still able to fit into my sie 12 pants, but I've gone up 2 sizes in tops.  I think my bottom half stayed smaller from all of the bike riding and walking, maybe? I don't know. 

I went to the store after I wrote this first half of the blog, and bought some almond flour and coconut flour.  I only had some protein shake and decaf coffee so far today and it's 5 PM.  I'm not hungry. I'm drinking my water, and I'm going to make a big pot of chicken broth later so I can have it tomorrow.  Today I'm going to just have protein shake, tea and decaf, and maybe some plain greek yogurt with 1/4 blueberries, or maybe some cottage cheese. I lost 135 Ibs eating yogurt and blueberries, cottage cheese, and protein shakes.  They were my staples for a long time. Maybe if I do a few days of eating soft foods, it will reset my pouch.  

I was thinking of keto but I didn't do keto while i was losing weight, i did low carb high protein. I was afraid of all of the fat in keto, and also all of the calories.

I'm going to try that 90 second keto microwave bread and the cloud bread when I want something bready, to keep down the carbs.  

I can do this.


15 months Post Op

May 15, 2018

I can't keep track of how many weeks post op I am any more, lol, so I am counting the months instead.

Spring is finally here in Norther Ontario and I have been feeling so much better now that I can get out and about on a regular basis.  

Yesterday I did a 21 km bike ride, and had a fantastic day.  The day before I did 14 km, and I've cycled 93 km in the last 3 weeks, which is great.  I also walked and hiked for hours. 

My weight is still fluctuating and I'm having terrible water retention, especially after walking or cycling.  My legs are swelling up so much that they look like tree trunks, and I have to lay with them elevated for hours before they go back to normal.  My doctor cut my water pills down to half a pill a day after I lost all the weight,  and I think I need the whole pill.  I've emailed him and am waiting to hear back.  I've struggled with edema since i was a teenager, even before the original weight gain, so I guess it was wishful thinking to hope weight loss would make it go away.  

The results of my 1 year blood work were great; everything is as it should be.  The nurse appointment also went well, and I was told that I totally exceeded their expectations as they didn't think I'd get lower than 220 Lbs.  I was told I should be eating at least 1200 calories a day, especially with all of the exercise I've been getting.

I've been eating well and getting lots of exercise but still can't get my weight to go down more but I really think it's from the water retention.  Yesterday I ate 900 calories and burned 1320 calories from bike riding, and most days are like that so I'd think the weight should go down again. 

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62 or 63 Weeks Post Op, off the rails but back on track

Apr 25, 2018

Wow, it's been awhile since I last blogged here.  I totally went off the rails for awhile, but I'm back on track now.

I had a sinus infection that wouldn't quit; fever, massive headaches, sore throat.  That lasted almost a month.  I also dealt with stomach flu and winter depression.  This has been the longest winter we've had in ages.  It snowed right up until this week; the last 5 days have finally been sunny and nice and I've been able to get out and about.  

Yesterday I went for my first bike ride of the season and did 12.23 km.  It was overcast and windy but I enjoyed the ride so much; I smiled the whole time.  I wore a sweater and had a big scarf around my neck but still became so thoroughly chilled that I couldn't stop shivering for hours when I got home, even with my big fuzzy pajamas, a heavy sweater, and blankets.  I drank 2 hot beverages and finally warmed up after a few hours.  Totally worth it though.

While I was sick/depressed, I started eating popsicles for my sore throat. They were not sugar free, as I couldn't find any in town, but not too bad; only 50 calories and low sugar per popsicle.  The problem was that I just wanted to keep eating them.  1 or 2 was never enough; I'd have to eat 3 at a time.  Then 4.  I had to stop buying them.  The sugar increased my carb cravings and I had some regain.  6 Lbs to be exact. I was 174 this morning.  I was 169 the last time I blogged and my lowest weight so far was 168.  I'd like lose those 6 Lbs, plus 3 more to get down to 165.

In the last 5 days I've gone for 4 walks of 1 hour or more, plus yesterday's 12 km bike ride, so I'm back on track exercise wise.  I'm also doing much better food wise; getting in lots of protein and liquids.  I'm still battling carb cravings though, and am still somewhat down but doing much better than I was.  Today is cold and gloomy and grey and it's calling for snow or freezing rain, but tomorrow is supposed to be sunny and 3 celcius (37 farenheit), so that's something to look forward to.  I'll be able to get outside again tomorrow, which really helps lift my spirits.

I ran out of my water pills 2 weeks ago so I should go refill the prescription, finally.  Some of my weight gain is definitely from water retention, as my feet, ankles, and fingers are very swollen.  I'm sure that will help some. I've never gone so long without the water pills before.

Here are some photos from yesterday's bike ride:


56 Weeks Post OP, Size 10 pants & Bright red hair

Mar 01, 2018

Week 56 rolled around with 169 even on the scales, for a 0.6 Lb weekly loss and a 135 Lb overall loss since starting my journey.  I did see 168.4 the day before my weigh in day, but it went back up to 169, probably due to my eating pickles and a pepperette...the sodium count is high in those foods.  

I have had a sore throat for over 2 weeks and have been eating super low calories, around 550 a day for 5 out of 7 days a week.  On the other two days, where my throat felt better, I was taking in between 800-1000 calories.

It's weird, as the super low calories made my restriction super tight again, so even on the days where I can eat and want to eat more calories, it was hard to do so.  I had to eat really late at night just to get my calories up on those days.

I had a great NSV this week; I fit into size 10 pants.  I've been buying the exact same pair of pants from the Walmart since I started this journey.  They're inexpensive George brand boot cut black pants from the Walmart, and when I started last year the size 24W were extremely tight on me, to the point of discomfort.  The 26W fit perfectly but I was too cheap to buy them before surgery as I knew I'd quickly shrink out of them.  This week I was able to fit into size 10 of those same pants, and they're not too tight, and actually a wee bit loose in the butt area (my butt has disappeared, lol).  So I am thrilled by that.  Ecstatic.

Even though I haven't lost a lot of weight lately, it's good to know my body is still shrinking.  I got some cute pajama bottoms for Christmas in size medium and one pair were a bit tight, and now they are baggy and loose, especially around the tummy and waist.  So my body is still changing.

To celebrate, I dyed my hair. I wanted to go red but forgot how my hair responds to red dye so the colour I was aiming for is not the colour I ended up with, lol.  It's taking some getting used to as it's such a bright red, lol.

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Finally below 170, barely, lol.

Feb 21, 2018

Whew; my scale read 169.6 this morning.  I got on and off the scale 3 times in a row and all 3 readings said the same thing, 169.6, so I guess it's real.  I FINALLY broke my 1 month stall of being unable to get below 170, and am down 134.4 Lbs now.

I've had a rough time mentally over the past month...although that may be overstating it a bit because I haven't been depressed or anything, but the scales were driving me absolutely mad.

I was sure I'd have to go buy new scales, as one day the scale did show 169.8, and I was so excited that I took off my thick pajamas and reweighed myself right away, thinking the scale should go down even more as those pajamas usually add 1 pound.  To my dismay, the scale went UP to 173.  In the two seconds it took me to take off my pajamas my scale decided I gained weight?  I couldn't believe it.  I got on the scale again and it said 173 again.  

I wondered if the battery was dying, started doing research on new scales, and basically felt like I'd lost my best friend, as I really loved those scales and they had been so good to me for a year.  Then I discovered my family members had been moving it around, which is a no no for digital scales in an older home.  So I told everyone to leave them alone and it seems to be consistant with the weight again, giving me the same weight when I reweigh myself 3 times in a row, which made me feel better.  My old scales would give me a different weight every time i stepped on them, even if I stepped on them 1 second after the last weigh in, which is why I bought these ones when I was a pre op last year.

Over the past month my weight has fluctuated between 170 and almost 175, up and down, every day, with no rhyme or reason.  I still eat on plan, and for one whole week I ate super low calories and it still fluctuated up and down.

This is the first time it fluctuated lower than 170 since that first time almost a month ago, so I'm hoping it's real. I think it is as my body has changed again and I can feel more ribs, and my hipbone is more apparent. I had 2 tops that were a bit tight and they fit perfectly now, and the ones that fit perfectly are all loose.

I think the honeymoon is over, and I hate that.  I hope the stall or whatever it is is over too.  I don't mind losing like a "normal" person, but I do mind eating on plan religiously and not seeing any positive changes for a month.  Bleah.


1 Year Surgiversary

Feb 01, 2018

I'm so excited!  Today is my 1 year Surgiversary!  I had RNY Gastric Bypass Surgery  1 year ago today at St. Joe's in Toronto, Ontario, Canada, with Dr. David Lindsay.

1 year ago today I was in severe pain and asking the nurse to move me to the psych wing because i was certain I needed help for voluntarily putting myself in that much pain.  Luckily she didn't take me seriousy and the pain eased a bit every day and the early pounds literally fell off and I quickly came to love my tiny new pouch. 

I was 304 Lbs when I'm started and now I'm 170.  I've lost 134 Lbs, and 103 inches, including 12 inches from my chest, 15 inches from my waist, and a whopping 17 inches from my hips.

I've made a lot of new habits in the past year.  I log everything I eat into my fitness pal. I try to stay active, which is much easier in the summer months, where it's easy for me to get hours of exercise every day.  Winter is a challenge but I try my best and have gone for my first winter walks in over 30 years this winter.

Early out, I depended on premier protein and I still drink it, except I use it as creamer in my decaf and herbal tea now.

I also depended on plain Greek Yogurt in the early days, and still eat it at least 3 times per week, usually as breakfast, mixed with berries and bran buds.

I still weigh and measure every item of food.  I never eat more than 1 cup of food per meal, as per my center's instructions.  I am mostly low carb, but did have a month long relaxation of the rules over the holidays.  

I take all of my vitamins and I drink all of my water.

My health is so much better.  I'm only on 1 asthma med now, and only need it when I have a cold or flu, or am exposed to allergens or extreme cold, which triggers my asthma. I used to need my rescue inhaler 4-5 times a day, and now I can go months without needing it.

I couldn't walk for 10 minutes before and now I can hike for hours. I can talk and breathe and climb hills, all at the same time.  I can swim and ride my bike.  My bike is my favorite, and I can't wait until spring so I can get out there again. I did my first overnight bike camping trip last summer and want to do a longer one this summer.

I've come a long way, but I'm not perfect.  My pre op food loving brain is alive and well, even though I had 6 lovely months where I felt absolutely no hunger.  I hate that the hunger came back, and I hate that the head hunger, or cravings came back too.

The other day all I could think about, and I mean all, was a glazed apple fritter. I wanted one so badly. I had no idea why. Then this morning I picked up a book I'm reading and opened it to the page I was last on,  and realized the book had triggered me. The characters were eating donuts, including apple fritters, lol. It's crazy how obsessive I became about apple fritters because of the book I'm reading, without even realizing that was why.  

I still have days where I feel fat. I have to look at old photos, or try on old clothes to remind myself of how far I've come.

I'm thrilled with the changes the past year, have brought and I'm not done yet.  My next mini goal is to get below 170, more specifically, to 165.  Then to 160. My stated goal is 145 but I want to see how I look at 160.  I can't afford plastic surgery and I don't want to hate how I look, loose skin wise. I may not look much different than I do now at 160, as I think I look pretty much the same at 170 as I did at 180, so we'll see.  I'd like to at least reach 155. 

I'm adding in some photos of me wearing my old clothes, and a before and after photo.  I was finally able to fit into one leg of my old pants, woohoo!


51 Weeks Post Op RNY

Jan 24, 2018

 I was happy to see the scale hit 170 today, which is a 1.2 Lb loss for the week, and 134 Lbs gone overall.

I hope it will continue to go down by even 0.1 or 0.2 by next week, which is my 1 year Surgiversary.  This far out, I find my weight fluctuates daily which I don't like, but do understand.

I'm really sore today.  My legs hurt really badly. I went for a walk in the cold yesterday and have been paying for it. Even though I bundled up, it's like the cold got into my bones and my legs just ache. My lower back too.  I took some tyleonol and it helped but it only helps for about 4 hours and then the pain comes back.  I think I'll take a hot bath with some Epson salts to see if that will help.

I only went for 2 or 3 walks this week because of the weather.  It's -14 today, too cold for me to breathe with my asthma so no walk today.  



50 Weeks Post Op RNY

Jan 17, 2018

Today is my weigh in day and I was 171.2 Lbs this morning, down 1.6 Lbs for the week, and 132.8 Lbs altogether.  I'm thrilled with that!

I wasn't expecting much of a weight loss because I ran out of water pillls about 5 days ago and am retaining some water.

So, I am only 1.3 Lbs away from leaving the 170's behind. I don't normally make time based goals but I do hope I can get into the 160's by my 1 year Surgivesary on Feb. 1st.  Aiming for 169.9, lol. 

It has been too cold to go for my walks for the past several days but it is supposed to be nicer today, at -15 C (5 F), so hopefully I'll get my butt in gear today. I've been feeling lazy and wanting to hibernate lately.



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