Nov 25, 2019
OK, so it's been 1 week and so far so good. I'm back on track and have lost 4.4 Ibs. I feel good being back on my low carb semi keto diet (I don't eat as much fat as keto calls for). I'm tempted to try full out keto but am afraid of the high calories and fats.
I did find some great low carb/keto recipes and am enjoying the 90 second keto bread. It doesn't taste good alone, like a piece of toast or bread does, but it tastes great as a hamburger bun. I had a cheese burger earlier this week, two days in a row because my Mom made me an enormous burger patty so I cut it in half and ate it for two seperate dinners, lol. On the day when I know I'm having the keto bread I make sure to eat low calorie for the rest of the day because I find the bread high in calories, although super low in carbs.
I'm still afraid of calories although a lot of keto people tell me they don't count. I need to keep my calories under 1000 to lose weight, and I need to keep my carbs under 50. Most days I try to keep the carbs under 35. Some days they were in their teens.
I went to go buy protein chips at the GNC store and the new guy who works there is rude. The old guy was so nice, but this new one wasn't. He said they don't sell the quest chips anymore because nobody buys them. Probably my fault as I used to buy them every month and then this summer I fell off the low carb wagon and didn't buy them, lol. Anyway, that was fine. The rude part was his mean lecture on calories in, calories out, and how carbs don't matter. He was very condescending. I do believe calories matter; I wish I didn't, lol, but i also believe that for me, anyway, carbs matter, a LOT.
I didn't feel hungry for most of the week. The first few days were hard but then I felt very full eating mostly protein. My pouch must be so relieved.
I think I am a food addict, because this summer i was eating foods that my brain liked but my mouth didn't. It was like certain foods, like donuts, for instance, were so heightened in my mind and they seemed like the pinnacle of wonderfulness, but then I'd have one and not really like it. The addict part I think is from the fact that I kept eating it, waiting for the anticiipated donut high.
I know I have eaten in the past to regulate my mood and I believe to me I'm chasing the dopamine response so I tried to find other ways to get that dopamine. I googled it and just about fell over laughing because the number one way to increase dopamine is to eat more protein, lololol. No wonder I felt crappy all summer, besides the anxiety stuff. I kept chasing carbs to feel good, like the old me did, but my body was craving the protein. I do feel better mentally this week. Much more alert, much less fatigues. It's a good feeling.
I am so mad at myself though, for going into a stupor and not paying attention to my weight so that when I finally stepped on the scale last week it was such a huge shock. I have to try very hard not to disappear into my head like that again.
I'm glad my pouch still works, and I'm glad I can feel satisfied and happy on 1000 or fewer calories still.