Lamarie

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Hello! I'm 32, and I'm married with two beautiful little kiddos! In 2008, at the age of 20 and weighing 330lb I underwent gastric bypass surgery. BEST DECISION OF MY LIFE!! At my lowest weight I was 235lb, I never made it to "ONEderland" but I had lost 100lb so I was happy. Fast foward to 2015, I was about 278lb when I had my daughter. I worked my ass off and managed to lose that weight. Skip to 2017, I had my son. With this pregnancy I hit approximately 286lb. In the spring of 2018 I managed to lose every pound that I gained with him plus 10lb. So, in April 2018 I weighed  225lb!! I. WAS. ON. CLOUD. 9!!!! But then something happened and I fell off the wagon and got very depressed. Both of my sister's (who are identical mirror twins) both had bypass surgery after I did, and both underwent tummy tucks and 360° body lifts Dec 2018 and May 2019... So while they were getting even thinnier, I was gaining back weight like crazy! This takes us to today... 12/16/19. I weigh... 308lb!!! What have I done to myself? How did I let this happen? I feel like an embarrassment to my family. Im an embarrassment to myself! Im a walking talking weightloss surgery statistic! I feel hideous! I fear that I will never  "get my happy back"... A lot has changed for me this past year, my daughter began preschool 4 days a week, I babysit a 7month old M-F, I took a job teaching children in China online very early every morning at 4am and my husband works midnights. The time that I once had in the past to focus on myself and exercise is no longer there... Also, I am able to eat so much more now than ever before... I literally don't get any fullness sensation which used to tell me to "stop eating!". I had an EGD completed this past February ordered by a new physician closer to my home. The NP who ordered it said that it showed that everything was normal and directed me to see the dietician I  the office. I probably know everything possible about calories, carbs, fiber, fat, good foods vs bad foods, metabolism etc. I've dieted my whole life. I know what to eat. I just miss having a "tool" to help me... I scheduled an appointment this Friday at the office of the surgeon who actually performed my surgery in 2008. Does anyone have advice on how to word my situation and inquire if there's any procedures available to help me regain rhe feeling of fullness/tightness in my stomach? I understand that if there are no problems then a revision isnt an option, but maybe there's something else that can help assist me? Any (positive/constructive/helpful) advice is greatly appreciated. I'm sure tons of ppl eat terribly and go back asking how to get the weight off, but I don't want to sound like "that person". I've gotten on meds to help with the depression and began seeing a therapist to try and understand myself, so I'm on the right path. Any suggestions on how I should word what I'm wanting/looking for? 

Thanks in advance!

Laura