Pure_Prairie

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Today has been a good day, pain diminishes every day, eating had been good until today: I learned a valuable lesson.

Food can be friend OR foe. This morning I got up happily and was chatting with my son in the kitchen, making breakfast, cream of wheat, a childhood favorite that I have added in this week. Today was the 3rd time and so you'd think I would have been easy, nope made it too thick. I took my last bite and set my 30 minute timer to wait until I started on my water and bam! I could feel it was stuck, an hour later I was able to come out of the bathroom and stand upright. WOW, lesson learned the hard way. Thinned cream of wheat

Overall though, weight continues to drop...even from the "girls" husband hasn't even seemed sad. He is so happy with my enthusiam and seeing me feeling better every day, and I almost feel like we are headed towards a bright horizon in our relationship.

Most fun this week I planned my own birthday party, and since about 40 I have dreaded birthdays. This one seems special so I invited all of the kids & my grandkids to come over for an omelet party. Something I can totally have (by then) and it used to be a Sunday night favorite when the kids were little because each person could choose their fillings.

So today was a good day, which means tomorrow can only get better!

When I got my stitches out the nurse said, "you need to get walking" of course I knew she was right but shuffling around my house was tiring. She said, "get out, go to the store and walk around." So this morning I had a dentist appt and hubby said he need a quick run to the store, so I asked to tag along, ironically I needed a battery for my pedometer. 

I ate shortly before we walked out, set my 30 minute timer for my water, and off we went. By the time we got there of course I am already so thirsty! Why do these protein shakes make you so thirsty? We got inside and I could barely keep up with hubby, but mostly the thirst was crazy.Then dentist visit, as soon as we got out I hit the car & grabbed my water. Then our financial advisor's office is next door and I had a message during WLS that I needed to sign something, we sat and visited a bit but my mouth grew so dry that I could barely speak, and I had been sipping all the way from the store to the dentist. Protein drinks are becoming my enemy...quickly!

I feel so tired and I can't help but wonder, is this normal? Not taking any medications, so it isn't that. Today is 1 week post op. THIS has got to get better.

Yesterday was a big day, I got my staples out & did my post op blood work which looked really good, (just got the call) am off all post op meds. It feels nice to not be on a shoebox full of prescriptions and I am hopeful that will continue as my recovery. Plus I feel like I can move, not worried about catching them on clothing. Yesterday I swept a room, today I started a load of laundry, hmm tomorrow...

Today, I am craving flavor. I can move to the next phase of post op diet, full liquids. When I first heard you can have soups, they just have to be blended I thought "hmm, putting normal soup into the blender, yum." Now I am thinking of some of my favorite soups and even if they will be missing multiple textures, the idea of the layers of FLAVOR just makes me smile. Broth, was great during pre op. I actually enjoyed the warm cups of liquid, beef or chicken, seemed great. Now I am excited about garlic, onion, carrot, and beef or chicken.

When I first thought about WLS it seemed to be about depravation, now maybe it is about rediscovering flavor!

I keep hearing the Doors song in my head, "break on through to the other side." I feel like I have! Surgery day my whole body was trimmering as I thought, am I sure about doing this?!? I had been headed down the scale with the liquid diet and felt confident about that. Did I have to have the procedure too?

However, my husband was supportive and held my hand right up to the last second, he said the first thing I said when I woke up was, "I love you." which was good I'd heard people can say weird things..

The stay in the hospital was hard, but as someone who has had 2 c sections this was the same deal. Can't get comfortable in their bed, getting up and down hurts and I couldn't have anything to eat or drink post op until they did the "swallow test."

I apparently had an undiagnosed hernia so the surgery fixed a huge issue while I was there, as well as my WLS.

Glad to be home, I slept so good in my bed last night and now I am going for a short walk. They really do help!

Today was the roughest of my pre op diet. Period. I live with my husband and 14 yo son, I have been chill and understanding while they have made dessert every single night. They aren't on this WLS journey and I can't expect them to behave as if they are. I have been reading to supply distraction after distraction while they enjoy their meals. 3 books in 6 days... Today was too much, they ordered pizza, so I went upstairs to read, but of course my whole house smelled. When I thought they'd be done I went downstairs to find the boxes...emptied...are still on my counter. 

I didn't cheat, I didn't act rude, but I was a little depressed and I felt sorry for myself momentarily. Then I made pineapple jello. I ate my jello and moved on.

Overall it was a great day, I played with my grandsons since I won't be able to pick them up a few days post op. Saw my two week old granddaughter and told my daughters about my surgery, huge step for me.

I will be fine, I will be fine, I will be fine.

and I feel like I cannot drink another drop.  I have been attempting my water goal for the last week and yesterday I got the closest yet! 6 glasses, by the time I hit the bed I swore I was swimming in the ocean. I have decided to move a bookshelf into my bathroom so that I can at least have something to do with all of that time.

I set this week's goal to continue my water consumption with my progression being to reach my 64oz prior to Thursday.

Ironically, I woke up this morning dry as a bone, weaning off my prescription meds has given me terrible night sweats so I was swimming in water this morning, and shivering. No fun.

I hit my weight goal so I feel positive about the next (water) goal. I also told my son last night about WLS so jumping hurdles daily & less than 1 week to go!

is supposed to be the way to make a journey that has 1,000 steps. Today I saw the dietician and did all of my pre op work ups, (so maybe that's two steps today) but it feels good to be going in the direction of a healthier me. I had some doubts in the past 24 hours, of the what if I could do this without surgery type, but after today I feel far more at peace with this choice. I didn't get here without doing a lot of research, talking to others I trust, or just deciding on a whim. 

I am on my road, my weight loss journey road and even though others may walk beside me they cannot walk for me. I feel positive that one day, one step will get me where I want to be, a healthy, happy ME.

this morning, I did! Hubby needed me to pick him up so he could drop his car off for service, they said anytime so he had no appointment. He was ready to go, but I looked him in the eyes, took a deep breath and said, "not until I get MY things done." Morning has been my yoga time/stationary bicycle time. My son has an appointment and has asked to go to the bookstore this afternoon, it would have been so easy to get wrapped up doing for them that I didn't make ME a priority. Then the day would have slid by, I would be tired when I got home, made what sounded like a great excuse and not done my exercise.

Today, I took control, no one died, no one suffered and even more important I feel so proud. I matter enough to make me a priority, my health is worth it .

After reading an article on OH about weight and mental health, I asked myself the question, "what is eating me?" At first I was sure there wasn't anything, I have dealt with mdd since I was 13, so I know what it feels like to be majorly depressed. I did a quick think through and decided life is good I feel positive about the future! However, as I looked at my weight gain it had been increasing, but not at a rapid pace until...oh yeah, my Mom passed in March 2017 exactly one week prior to what would be their 50th wedding anniversary. Sad, she'd had early onset AZ, was living her retirement years with zest and joy, so I had spent several months in therapy, dealing with the grief. Dad & I had always been close so I left my teaching job and joined him in the business we co own in August 17. However, by September he was engaged to a woman he met online. They were married in October, 3 days before what would have been my Mom's 70th birthday. The new woman hated my Mom's beautiful 1893 Victorian home, all of the furniture, decor, she couldn't wait to sell what had been their (and my childhood) home of 42 years. I convinced my Dad to buy her a new house, rent the house to my daughter her husband and our 2 grandsons (who were just leaving the military in CA).

So nothing is eating me...right?!? I have tried to put them from my life, I had made peace with it...right?!?  Good news: I have identified what is eating me up. Bad news: WLS cannot excise this blight from my life.

Now what????

I didn't plan to tell family (and for sure not friends) but my 14 year old loves to cook. I could never let him feel like I just didn't want to eat his cooking. So I phrased it as a "diet" and I think we can work from there. I am 10 days away, I can think on it between now and then.