Bionic Jay
Songwriter?
Sep 23, 2006
Angels Walk Among Us
I see your face, you catch my eye
You don’t seem to notice me, I whisper goodbye
Time is frozen, my heart skips beats
Without you my life, doesn’t seem so complete
Angels walk among us, I believe it’s true
What a blessing it would be to just get close to you
Like a sparkling diamond in a sea of tarnished stones
You shine in my eyes and make me want you for my own.
Life is a rainstorm, it can be harsh and cruel
But when the rain stops falling everything seems clean and new
But after the rain, there comes a promise, I’m told
And you’re my rainbow leading to a pot of gold
Angels walk among us, I believe it’s true
What a blessing it would be to just get close to you
Like a sparkling diamond in a sea of tarnished stones
You shine in my eyes and make me want you for my own.
You turn and smile at me, it makes my heart soar.
Could it be you were just teasing before?
You walk my way, you lean in and sigh
And then you kiss me, your angel breath lifts me high.
Angels walk among us, I believe it’s true
What a blessing it is just to be in love with you
Like a sparkling diamond in a sea of tarnished stones
You shine in my eyes and have me for your very own
Angels walk among us, I know it’s true.
What a blessing we share, just me and you.
Diamonds sparkle brightly, we’re a pair of matching stones
In two rings that mean forever on your finger and my own.
SO CLOSE!
Sep 13, 2006
DAMMIT! SO CLOSE! I'm at 400 lbs. Why couldn't I have lost ONE MORE?!
Not weight loss related but I wanted to post it. Yesterday I had a meeting with a counsellor named Maureen. She was very nice. I've been dealing with self esteem my whole life and a lot of other minor issues such as worry and nerves. She thinks she can help me. She said that she could see a Jay inside me that wants to find out who he really is and wants to come out and be his own person without worrying about what others think, and she's right. I just don't know who he is yet but I really want to find out and let him out.
BP &Therapy
Sep 07, 2006
Okay, so I went to see my family doctor yesterday about my nerves and worry and depression and dizzy spells. She took me off my blood pressure meds and wants me to stay off for a week to see if I still get dizzy. If it's the pills causing it, she can give me a different kind of med for it. After the week is up, she wants me to try a med for the stress and worry but she thinks that the drug won't help much. Instead she wants me to see a counselor for cognitive therapy and thinks I may have an anxiety disorder. She also wants me to see them for my self esteem issues. It's something I've never had at all, so I pity them trying to help me with it. I called through the EAP at work and I should hear from someone in a few days to set me up with an appointment. She wants me to get bloodwork and see her again in a few weeks to see how things are going. I was "worried" of COURSE that this might affect my progress toward surgery but she assured me it won't.
Slacker
Sep 05, 2006
I'm a big slacker and haven't updated in awhile. Okay so... I've completed my six months with the dietician, lost, gained, lost, gained, lost. Overall, didn't go over my starting weight and I'm now ten pounds below it. I have my appointment with the surgeon coming up on the 20th (i think) of this month. Once he sees me, he'll refer me to the internist who will write to Canadian Medicare on my behalf. Surgeon tells me he's never had anyone denied but I still won't feel relieved until I get the approval. After that I know I need to go to an all day info session thingy and write a test to show that I understand things and after that, probably get a date set. I don't know the time frame, but my dietician said that if everything went along at a good pace, I should know by christmas what my date will be. Here's hopin!
Ragdoll and Teddy Bear
Sep 05, 2006
The Rag Doll and The Teddy Bear
Once upon a time
Through a door just down the hall
In a dark, forgotten corner
Of the playroom was a doll.
She was only made of cloth,
A rather simple work of art,
But you could see where someone
Had embroidered her a heart.
It had faded from neglect
And being lonely through the years,
And she couldn't even cry
Because she hadn't any tears.
But then one day as she lay cold
And silent on the floor,
A teddy bear was tossed in
Through the squeaky playroom door.
As she watched him, he got to his feet
And slowly walked her way;
And her little red embroidered heart
Came to life that day.
He gently picked her up,
And as he held her in his arms,
He noticed a faint heartbeat
And certain rag doll charms.
So he took some thread and stitched
A pretty twinkle in her eye
And fixed her sewed-on smile
Which had long-since gone awry.
He brushed away the dust
And cobwebs from her dress
Then taught her about love
In his fuzzy warm caress.
Those two have stayed together
Since that day so long ago;
And when he looks at her today,
He would hardly even know
That his happy little rag doll,
So content and satisfied,
Was the same one he had found
Cast so carelessly aside.
Freaky
Jul 27, 2006
So I picked out the card and she thought about it for awhile and said. "There's pink on it, I know that much." she turns the card over and covered the words with her fingers. Sure enough there was a
The picture was of a series of eggs, all shrinking in size. The largest had a tree in it. She said that the tree symbolized growth and something personal to me and the eggs meant a beginning. The diminishing in size meant change. The fact that there were so many eggs meant a lot of new beginnings and steps to go through. That completely made sense to me what with this whole weight loss journey. The thing that freaked me out is that out of an entire tarot deck without looking at them, I would pick THAT one with eggs "shrinking" like I will be after the surgery.
Trippy!
June 15th
Jun 14, 2006
Month 4 down of my six month dietician monitored eating plan before the surgeon will write to medicare on my behalf.
When I saw my surgeon last thursday I was weighed and I had lost 7 pounds since my previous visit. Today at my month 4 dietician appointment I had lost another 3 pounds in the past week for a total of ten pounds since last month when I had gained back the six pounds I had previously lost. Hopefully I can keep it off this time. Now 403 pounds, YAY ME! Hope I can break the fours by next appointment and get down to the threes.
June 8
Jun 08, 2006
Oh.. and I lost seven pounds! WOO! I see my dietician next week for month four of my six. Wonder if I can lose another pound or two by then.
