ToniaE.
I lost my mother to cancer in 2005, she was 54 years old, she is my butterfly. We only had knowledge of the cancer for a short period of time, her fight was only for 9 months before it won. The day she died there were dozens of butterflies that appeared out on the front lawn, outside her window. When we went to make arrangements there were butterflies and again at visitations. The day of the funeral there were butterflies again and at the cemetery one landed in my hair and was there until I walked to my car to leave. I have thought to myself so many times and wondered why she didn't go to the doctors for routine care prior to the cancer. I am her only child and between my husband and I she has 4 grandchildren. We all cannot believe that she left us so young. All of the grandchildren feel cheated and say that it wasn't fair to them.
This is why I am fighting to get WLS, so I do not have to leave my family over something I can control or get help with. I have always been the fat-girl throughout time, as long as I can remember. I was 199 lbs. in 7th grade and I wore a size 22 dress at prom. I didn't even go to my junior prom because I didn't want to go alone, since I didn't have boyfriends. My senior year I had my first real boyfriend, others before him were just puppy-love (always the friend not the girlfriend). I can say, even though I was 225lbs., he loved me and treated me with respect and like a lady should be treated. I actually felt good about myself then.
There were other points in my life when I felt good about who I was inside and out, but I was still obese if you looked at the numbers. I had my first child in 1994 and lucky enough I didn't gain weight. I lost 50 lbs. and the doctors had kept close track of the baby because they didn't like the fact of weight loss, I had a 9lb3oz boy. I later married his father and felt like a normal bride, I didn't even have to special order my dress! Shocking since I was 235lbs. When this ended in divorce a short time later, I lost weight, you know the kind you lose from stress and keeping busy so not to think about it.
In 1999, I married again, to my soul-mate. He and I have been through a lot together, even our weight gains. We both gained the most when I was pregnant for our daughter, about 40+ each. Against the odds this time, neither one of us lost that weight. From then on we seemed to gain weight, but it came about 5lbs at a time. Looking at 5lbs isn't much, but it's a lot over time. My husband is very supportive of me wanting to do WLS, he has even decided to do it too! My husband is very loving and understanding. No matter what I look like, he loves me for who I am, with or without make up, hair styles, clothes, and at whatever weight. This is what a true love is...
In 2002, my husbands two children came to live with us after an emergency change of custody. Now we have 4 children here to keep up with. It's nearly impossible at the weights we are. To top it off I have medical conditions that make it more of a challenge for me. I have a long list so bare with me, Fibromyalgia, Sleep Apnea, Asthma, Osteoarthritis, Arthritis, Scoliosis, Acid Reflux, Depression, Varicose Veins, Frequent Urination, Migraines, Bursitis, Carpal Tunnel, DeQuaireveins, Swelling (of my feet and hands), and recently elevated triglycerides (which are under control now). Even with all of this I still am doing good with my heart, diabetes, blood presure, and other issues such as these. I know most of these things won't go away, but I can help out the long term conditions that lie in my future. I'm tired of life passing me by while I set on the sidelines. It's time that I join the team and do something about my obesity and get back into life. I'm done with all of the fad diets, diet pills, and exercises that don't show progress. I'm limited to what exercises to do by my family doctor to add to the feeling of no progress. I've been on diets since junior high and I'm done with that. I'm tired of starving myself or overeating depending what the diet plan is. It's time to end this thing right now! I'm on my way to taking control, getting help, and moving on to my new life. The life I feel on the inside. Thank you for reading my story, I hope to inspire someone else as I have been inspired by others. This ones for you Mom, I'm going to give my children the mom you helped me to be!
