susan in sugar land
Update: August 2009
Aug 13, 2009
Well, it's about time to catch up with my "so called" life. It's now 4 plus years since my RNY and so many things have changed. I've gone from a size 26/28 to a 0/2 that's one major change...my marriage is falling apart...nothing new, I guess....my health is great...my labs are that of a 16 year old! Great news!
I quit drinking a year and a half ago as it had become unmanageable as AA says. I could "successfully" drink for the first 3 years after RNY but then it started to effect me so negatively that it had to go. I don't think that the RNY is what caused my addiction to alcohol, it was there to start with, but losing all that weight (and body fat) not to mention, liver function, made it to where I couldn't handle alcohol at all. That is a good thing that has come out of all this...I've quit drinking for many years at a time but always gone back to it. Now I know that I don't have that option. I can not drink like a "normal" person...wish that I could, but I can't. Same as with smoking (quit 8 yrs. ago) if I have one, I might as well go buy the carton. Like I said, good things have come out of this surgery.
I also have had my back fused, my left knee replaced, my left foot fused, my left knee repaired again, all my cartilage was gone due to Osteo arthritis and the fact that I carried an extra person (130+ lbs) on my body!
That being said, it's been an extremely PAINFUL (body & mind) journey at times but am a firm believer that it was all meant to happen anyway. Going with the flow and the mantra "you do what you know, UNTIL you know better".
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I quit drinking a year and a half ago as it had become unmanageable as AA says. I could "successfully" drink for the first 3 years after RNY but then it started to effect me so negatively that it had to go. I don't think that the RNY is what caused my addiction to alcohol, it was there to start with, but losing all that weight (and body fat) not to mention, liver function, made it to where I couldn't handle alcohol at all. That is a good thing that has come out of all this...I've quit drinking for many years at a time but always gone back to it. Now I know that I don't have that option. I can not drink like a "normal" person...wish that I could, but I can't. Same as with smoking (quit 8 yrs. ago) if I have one, I might as well go buy the carton. Like I said, good things have come out of this surgery.
I also have had my back fused, my left knee replaced, my left foot fused, my left knee repaired again, all my cartilage was gone due to Osteo arthritis and the fact that I carried an extra person (130+ lbs) on my body!
That being said, it's been an extremely PAINFUL (body & mind) journey at times but am a firm believer that it was all meant to happen anyway. Going with the flow and the mantra "you do what you know, UNTIL you know better".
The 'Stylish' look
Jul 21, 2007
Well, it's now 7/22/07 and we've had almost a full 3 wks of rain here. I had spinal fusion (L 3 - 4) on 6/19 and Lordy it was painful. I'm taking tylenol for pain now so it's getting better. I'm wearing a very hot and unstylish back brace for the next 3 mos. It's a "hot" look! I feel so lucky to have met so many nice people on OH. I didn't post for quite a while but am back w/a vengance.
May 20th
May 19, 2007
Okay, it's now 5:30 am and I've been up since 2:30 this morning. Long story short - the pain and swelling in my left leg (knee replacement" is being caused by a shattered disc in my back. Yeah! Yet another surgery. Other than that there has been a lot going on in my personal life...oh, where to start. I've gone from size 24 to 4 and my husband still has yet to say "you look nice". I asked him about that and his reply was that he saw me every day so how did I expect him to notice. What an asshole he is. The marriage is dead and over and I'm basically waiting to inherit some $ and then I'm out of here. I know that sounds horrible but it's true. I'm having a horrible time with my 17 yr. old son...his favorite words to me are "stupid, retarded bitch". What every mother wants to hear and to top it off...yes, the husband does nothing so I'm alone on this matter. I've told both of them that it is going to come down to him or me pretty soon and they don't take me seriously; my guess is that I'm going to have to check into a hotel w/my 13 old daughter and let them see that I'm not kidding. My daughters take up for me which is something they shouldn't have to be doing. Yesterday my 13 yr. old made my husband "pinky swear" that he would treat me nicely when they got home from softball; yes, that lasted for 10 minutes (if that long) before she had to remind him of the promise. He sets such a shitty example that talking to me as if I were a piece of dirt is OK and what really scares me is that my son will treat his future wife like what he's seen & heard. I am at blame too but I do defend my husband when they speak badly to him but don't get that in return. Meanwhile, my sister's sick marriage is draining my soul and I've tried to put some distance between us which is hard as we are so close but as one who is living in a bad marriage (but have plans to end it) I am ready to make some changes, she just puts up with it and whines and cries and lets him totally run her life. My mom was like that...I hate it. If you look in the dictionary under Martyr, it's now a back to back contest as to who would take that title...mom or Aila???? Mom or Aila? On the better side of life; my 13 year old daughter has made the Ntl. Jr. Honor Society and PALS (which is a mentorship program for 5th grade and middle school kids), there were 700 7th graders and 22 were picked and interviewed and she made it. She will be taking algebra in 8th grade and that counts as a high school credit. In 8 yrs of school she has made only 1 B and it was an 89...she tried out for volleyball, made the A team and 1st string after 3 games, then she decided to see if she could make the basketball team; she made it - A team and then it was track so that she could get faster for select softball which she plays year round. Oh, I forgot...honors band - oboe. She is an incredible child and we are closer than I'd ever thought we would be at her age. My son is in the top 5 varsity golf players at his high school and when he applies himself to school, he does well. My 21 yr. old is now a Sr. at the Conrad Hilton Hotel & Restaurant Mgmt school at University of Houston and doing well. It took her 2 1/2 yrs. to realize that you have to work your ass off in school. They are all doing well at school, work, extra curricular things but with my son's behaviour at home I just feel so helpless.
My weight is now at 129 (my heaviest was 263) and my skin is starting to look like Marley, my much adored mutt dog - part Shar-Pei, part Boxer and God knows what else). I now know what I will look like at 80! I'm hoping to get PS for my lower half, including my marsupial pouch but w/the kids in school and $ being an issue, it will have to wait.
My weight is now at 129 (my heaviest was 263) and my skin is starting to look like Marley, my much adored mutt dog - part Shar-Pei, part Boxer and God knows what else). I now know what I will look like at 80! I'm hoping to get PS for my lower half, including my marsupial pouch but w/the kids in school and $ being an issue, it will have to wait.
Update
Oct 20, 2006
We had "fall" for 2 days and now we're back to running our a/c and waiting for the next "cold front" to come thru. It's in the low 90's today and that is so wrong in so many ways. Well my weight is now at 142 and I'm in size 6 jeans and xtra sml shirts; my blood work is fine as far as WLS but will go to the Endo in Nov. and see how my thyroid is doing. My knee is swollen and hurts constantly but I haven't made an appt. for a 2nd opinion yet. My surgeon says to wait until 6 months and we'll see where the swelling is. I am going to start working out at the phys. therapy place since I can get trained by PTs and have him set up a complete program for me. My goal is 135 and then a tummy tuck (aka: marcupial pouch removal).
Total Knee Replacement
Oct 07, 2006
It's been a long time since I last posted...and here's my excuse! On 7/3/06 I had a total knee replacement on my left knee and my surgeon broke my leg in the process. So, I come out with an artificial knee and a shattered tibia. Talk about pain! Long story short another hospitalization to "manipulate" the knee & scar tissue, what a sadistic thing that was...3 day with a pump attached to me so that I could numb my leg and then back to Phys. Ther. I have been going to PT 3X a week since 7/17 and have 1 week left. Problem is I still can't bend my knee as well as I should. Getting a 2nd opinion ASAP.
My weight is at 145, 5-8 lbs from goal and I'm now wearing size 6 jeans and xtra small to small tops. Darn that hanging tummy. It's gotta go!
My weight is at 145, 5-8 lbs from goal and I'm now wearing size 6 jeans and xtra small to small tops. Darn that hanging tummy. It's gotta go!
August 2006
Jul 31, 2006
It's now 8/12/06 and as anyone can see, updating on a daily, weekly even monthly basis is beyond my capability. So much has happened in such a short time; on 7/3/06 I finally gave up and had my left knee replaced. Complication #1: The nerve block did more than just numb my left leg - the last words out of my mouth as I was being put to sleep were "Please help me, I can't breathe". Not a good feeling. Complication #2: As the ortho surgeon, Dr. G. Hoover was putting the part of the artificial knee that goes in the tibia (the large bone that runs down the front of the leg and connects to the ankle), he broke the tibia. Yes, I said he broke the tibia. That essentially meant 2 major surgeries instead of 1. So I went from recovery using a walker for 10-14 days to using a wheel chair for up to 8 weeks (if I have go shopping or get from the parking lot to the softball field (it's quite a hike). That got me down for a while and Physical Therapy has been really hard. I'm now to the point that when the Phy. Therapist pushes my bent knee to measure how many degrees I can bend it, I put a towel in my mouth so that I won't scream out loud. I've cried more times than I'd like to confess to but it's getting better, slowly but surely. I still have to get the right leg done because it's in bad shape too. Since he replaced the left knee and corrected the "knock-knee" my left leg is now longer than my right. That sucks! My family is so burned out on helping me and I am so tired of being so dependent on others but again, things are getting better. Dr. Hoover put in a 5 inch titanium plate w/6 screws to repair the tibia so now I can put 25% of my body weight on my left. for over 4 weeks I couldn't put any weight on my left leg. Enough whining about the left leg saga.
My weight loss is not great but I am not worried. Perhaps I'm more worried about what others will think vs. how I feel. I am at 154 and wear size 8-10 jeans and small shirts so even though the lbs. are not exactly flying off, the inches must be. I need to re-measure myself again. I am having trouble eating regular food. I am eating (this is an average day) 3-4 protein balls for breakfast and then again for lunch. Dinner is an Isopure drink (12 ozs. of water w/2 scoops of powder is 50 grams of protein). Regular food is making me nauseous and I know that I have to fight this and get back to eating protein through food instead of the powder. I don't know why this is happening. My labs have been OK but need to be checked again.
My husband and I are not doing well at all. I don't know how it got so bad that all I want to do is leave, even if it tears up our family. We don't talk, we're not even friends anymore and I feel ashamed to say this, there are times that I can't even stand to look at him or listen to him. It's not a good atmosphere to be in and I know it's taking it's toll on everyone concerned. He has said nothing about me losing over 80 lbs. (gone from size 22-24 to 8-10) and it's my kids that give me compliments. Something has to change and soon.
I have made some wonderful OH friends and feel so lucky to have found them; Pat, Maureen, Dawn & Michelle - thank you for being my friends, I'm so glad that I have the privilege to know you.
More later. I'm actually going to go get some cantaloupe.
My weight loss is not great but I am not worried. Perhaps I'm more worried about what others will think vs. how I feel. I am at 154 and wear size 8-10 jeans and small shirts so even though the lbs. are not exactly flying off, the inches must be. I need to re-measure myself again. I am having trouble eating regular food. I am eating (this is an average day) 3-4 protein balls for breakfast and then again for lunch. Dinner is an Isopure drink (12 ozs. of water w/2 scoops of powder is 50 grams of protein). Regular food is making me nauseous and I know that I have to fight this and get back to eating protein through food instead of the powder. I don't know why this is happening. My labs have been OK but need to be checked again.
My husband and I are not doing well at all. I don't know how it got so bad that all I want to do is leave, even if it tears up our family. We don't talk, we're not even friends anymore and I feel ashamed to say this, there are times that I can't even stand to look at him or listen to him. It's not a good atmosphere to be in and I know it's taking it's toll on everyone concerned. He has said nothing about me losing over 80 lbs. (gone from size 22-24 to 8-10) and it's my kids that give me compliments. Something has to change and soon.
I have made some wonderful OH friends and feel so lucky to have found them; Pat, Maureen, Dawn & Michelle - thank you for being my friends, I'm so glad that I have the privilege to know you.
More later. I'm actually going to go get some cantaloupe.
Memorial Day
May 28, 2006
Today is Memorial Day and DH is home, which is nice. My liver was ultrasounded and is still a fatty liver! I had surgery on my nose and after 4 days the doc pulled out the packing & tubes. Not been a lot of fun. I have been a bit more active lately and have gone down to 155 lbs. That leaves 20 lbs. to goal. It's taking a long time but I figured slow and steady wins the race.
April 2006
Mar 31, 2006
4/27/06 Not that I'm good at keeping up with this!!!! So much has happened in the last 2-3 months that I don't know where to start. I'll start off w/yesterday when I went to my 1 year anniversary Dr. appointment. I'm down to 159, which by God, was hard won to even get that 1 lb. off. I have been stuck on 160 FOREVER. I have gone to a size 8-10 pant & small-medium shirts so that feels good. My bmi is at 28 and my Dr. told me that if I wanted to stay at this weight it was perfectly OK with him. He said that if I loose too much more weight, say 30+ lbs. I could become sick. I'm still going to work on getting at least 19 lbs. off.
Meanwhile, my oldest daughter, Brenna (20), totalled her car. She & our mechanic were sitting getting ready to turn Right into the auto shop and they were rear-ended by a SUV. She was on the phone and after she hit my kid's car, which WAS a Mits. Lancer, the Lancer was thrown 100 feet into a water filled ditch. Thank God, they both walked away from it. She missed 2 weeks of work, 1 week of college and still has back pain from it. Next life event: Hiring a lawyer. Never will do that again....sorry if anyone is an attorney but my Lord, this jerk deserves every bad/good joke made about lawyers. I've done most of the work and he's always "busy". It raises my blood pressure just to think of him. Then I went for my yearly mamogram and was called back for another one...strange, never had this happen before. Sure enough get the 2nd mamogram and an ultrasound. The Gyno calls and says..."go see a breast surgeon, I don't like the results". OK, now the Rx for valium comes in handy. Long story short, as of now every thing is OK but have to go back in a month for yet a 3rd ultrasound and will have mammograms every 6 months vs. 1X a year.
Think I'm done???? Oh, hell no...on 3/3 my fur baby "Marley", a shar-pei, boxer, etc. mix (aka muscle dog), pulls me out, by her collar, onto flag stones and I land up breaking my nose. Great, love my 40's! You just have to laugh cause all this is so sublime in so many ways! My kids are fine and my hubby & I are fine. My father & sister are all ok too, so I'm just counting my blessings.
Will update after I see my Gastro. doc as my liver function tests are so whacked that the ENT won't do surgery on my crooked septum until he gets a letter of release. Didn't I mention that for over 6 weeks I've been on antibiotics & can't breathe out of my left nostril? Nah, left that out. See ya later, gator.
Meanwhile, my oldest daughter, Brenna (20), totalled her car. She & our mechanic were sitting getting ready to turn Right into the auto shop and they were rear-ended by a SUV. She was on the phone and after she hit my kid's car, which WAS a Mits. Lancer, the Lancer was thrown 100 feet into a water filled ditch. Thank God, they both walked away from it. She missed 2 weeks of work, 1 week of college and still has back pain from it. Next life event: Hiring a lawyer. Never will do that again....sorry if anyone is an attorney but my Lord, this jerk deserves every bad/good joke made about lawyers. I've done most of the work and he's always "busy". It raises my blood pressure just to think of him. Then I went for my yearly mamogram and was called back for another one...strange, never had this happen before. Sure enough get the 2nd mamogram and an ultrasound. The Gyno calls and says..."go see a breast surgeon, I don't like the results". OK, now the Rx for valium comes in handy. Long story short, as of now every thing is OK but have to go back in a month for yet a 3rd ultrasound and will have mammograms every 6 months vs. 1X a year.
Think I'm done???? Oh, hell no...on 3/3 my fur baby "Marley", a shar-pei, boxer, etc. mix (aka muscle dog), pulls me out, by her collar, onto flag stones and I land up breaking my nose. Great, love my 40's! You just have to laugh cause all this is so sublime in so many ways! My kids are fine and my hubby & I are fine. My father & sister are all ok too, so I'm just counting my blessings.
Will update after I see my Gastro. doc as my liver function tests are so whacked that the ENT won't do surgery on my crooked septum until he gets a letter of release. Didn't I mention that for over 6 weeks I've been on antibiotics & can't breathe out of my left nostril? Nah, left that out. See ya later, gator.
December 2005
Nov 30, 2005
12/12/05
Well, it's been a while since I updated this. A couple of weeks ago I went to my Endocrinologist and found out that I'm HYPOthyroid, which makes me tired & retain/gain weight. On top of that, I've been having heart palpitations and that could be because of the thyroid OR because I'm also starting menopause. Oh, what fun being 47 is! lol. My weight is holding at 170. I wish I had the energy to exercise more. My blood sugar is also not going down, in fact it's going up. It was 103 and now is at 111. I read up on diabetes and found out that eating carbs is supposed to help. I am now eating carbs every day. Not a lot but adding it back to my daily diet. I am still supplementing with Isopure (Dutch Chocolate).
12/16/05
Off to the mall I go. Once again, Christmas just kinda popped up for me. I always put off the shopping until the last moment and then have anxiety attacks at the mall. I really don't like all the crowds and generally, the public out there drive me over the edge. Not that it's such a huge jump to get there but anyway...I actually fit clothes that my daughters used to wear when they were young. I'm wearing a jacket that my 11 year fits! OMG, what a cool feeling that is. Of course the girls are not exactly crazy about their mom "borrowing" their stuff but hey, such is life. I'm down to 167 lbs. from 251 in 9/04 so it's coming off. I'm still having trouble eating the 6 small meals a day because I'm not hungry. It's an ongoing struggle. I so appreciate my son (16 years old) who is giving me daily compliments on how "skinny" I look. This is not normal for him as his usual way of communication is grunting! Gotta love that boy. I think that my 20 year old daughter is having some issues with the weight loss. She is at least 30+ lbs. overweight and it's bothering her to see that I'm going to smaller & smaller sizes. The other day she said to my sister (pointing to me) "am I as big as she is?". That was hurtful & mean but my sister told me that even though she answered "no" she thought that I was smaller than her. I don't want this to be a competition but my girl needs to get the weight off while she is still young. It's so much harder when you get older. At 20 even though I thought that I was fat, I wasn't. I can't remember a time when I was OK with my self image. I always thought that I was fat and when I look at the pictures I realize that I was "normal", whatever that is.
12.29.05
Christmas has come & gone and no weight gain. My dear sister bought me my favorite gift ever...a beautiful red cashmere sweater from Banana Republic w/a lace cami to go under it. It was a size MEDIUM!!! Can't remember the last time that I wore a medium. As far as my health goes, I'm still tired but I'm guessing that's because I'm still hypothyroid. I went to my Gyno and she put me on a very low hormone replacement and the "edgy/panic attack" feelings are gone now so I need to get off my arse and call my Endo to see if he'll up my thyroid meds. I am so sick and tired of feeling so tired that I could scream. I'll write more later.
Onederland!
Nov 26, 2005
Well, it's now the Sunday after Thanksgiving, 11/27/05, and I've gotten down to 170 lbs. That's a total loss of 64 lbs. A small elementary school kid! I actually lost 4 lbs. over Thanksgiving by eating more often, yes, I said eating more often. I wasn't eating enough it turns out. I am scheduled to have my left knee replaced on Dec. 15th but my gut keeps telling me "no" so I think that I'm going to cancel the surgery tomorrow. I am so scared to go into another major surgery this year. I've had enough. Life goes on and all is OK. I'm still struggling with my thyroid and will go to Dr. Jamal on Tuesday to see how the ultrasound of my thyroid & labs are. Hopefully, he'll fine tune my meds. I am now wearing size 12 jeans & L/M ladies tops. My 20 year old daughter is now stealing/borrowing my tops & jeans! What a switch! I'm feeling
a lot better about my self-image but for the last week have felt really crummy, health wise, that is. Don't know what is the matter but something is not right. Today my total weight loss is -64. I know that others are losing so much more, so much faster but I am doing what I'm supposed to do and if it takes a little longer for me, then that's how it goes. I don't weigh in daily. I check about 1/wk.
a lot better about my self-image but for the last week have felt really crummy, health wise, that is. Don't know what is the matter but something is not right. Today my total weight loss is -64. I know that others are losing so much more, so much faster but I am doing what I'm supposed to do and if it takes a little longer for me, then that's how it goes. I don't weigh in daily. I check about 1/wk.
About Me
SUGAR LAND, TX
Location
25.4
BMI
Surgery
04/28/2005
Surgery Date
Aug 19, 2004
Member Since
