Renee C.

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6 months out today, Aug 1st.  (from Feb 1st)

Still losing, albeit slowly -- but that's all on me to curb my food intake.

Scale is at 200.0, where it drops to 198 and then back up -- so in the next couple days I'll be in Onederland!

It's time for new jeans and underwear again.  I bought my last ones 35 lbs ago I think -- they are starting to be too loose and saggy.  Not a great look or feel.  My original underwear from pre-surgery is ridiculously baggy and slides off!!

My hair continues to fall out by the handful.  Here's hoping it stops before I'm totally bald, especially in the front!  I am not sure I can pull off wearing a wig, but I might try if it gets worse.  First step will be a short, spiky cut though.

Had my physical about a month or so back with my PCP.  My numbers were all NORMAL!!  hA1C was the big one I was after -- that was a 5, down from 8.something, back in Dec.  (8.3 or 8.4, will have to go dig that up).  My cholesterol and blood pressure were also back down to normal.  Iron levels normal (they were very low back in Dec).  

It's time for me to have a new sleep study though -- my pressure on the bi-pap is 24 and that's just too high now.  I feel like I'm trying to breathe in a hurricane.  I'm tired all the time.  Probably my depression; that's something I need to see a psych for to get my meds adjusted as my PCP would prefer that route.   

I think the hardest part for me, that I'll be working on over the next month or two, is the constant nausea.  I feel fine when I'm eating, but starting about 20 min or so after -- nausea.  That will continue for at least a couple hours, sometimes longer.  Sometimes I just feel nauseated all the time.  Mostly it's low-grade, but in the evening it sometimes is enough to make me dry heave.  I need to work on finding what foods are 'safe' and what foods tend to make me feel that way more.  I suspect it's also a matter of amount, since a single egg in the morning doesn't generally make me sick, but then I'm hungry in 2 hrs.

Dairy remains off the menu for me.  Stinky, awful gas & diarrhea.  Whew.  Lactaid gets me mostly through when I just have to have something with cheese. But mostly I just avoid.

It's not difficult to stay away from sugar and things like bread or rice.  They make me feel just awful.  Not what others describe as dumping, but rather bone-numbing fatigue that leaves me no choice but to lie down.  I just totally avoid those things now, remembering how it makes me feel is enough!

Aspartame unfortunately tends to give me stomach cramps for some reason.  Swigging a cold Diet Snapple on a hot day *sounds* good, and I'll often go for it and then be sorry.  I'm starting to find alternatives that just don't have sweetener at all.  McD's thankfully has giant unsweetened iced tea for a buck, so that's handy if we are out and about in hot weather and I need something cold.  Otherwise, ice water is really my favorite these days, and that's something for sure.  I can't say I never look longingly at a Coke Zero, but I don't even want to know what carbonation will feel like, so haven't tried one.

My surgeon wants us to have no alcohol for the whole first year and then only a small amount once or twice a year on a special occasion.  I haven't had trouble with avoiding alcohol, although the wish for red wine crossed my mind recently when I was really stressed out and watching a show where they were drinking it.  I have a feeling I would not feel well afterwards, just like with rice or sugar!  I had a sip of beer while camping last weekend.  Yuck.  But then I've never been a beer drinker anyway.

Enough for now -- just wanted to jot down some thoughts about where I'm at on my 6 month.   I'm nowhere near perfect on what I choose to eat, so I'm super thankful that my post-surgery body is helping me figure it out!  

Today I hit my -40lb mark from early Dec.  Slowly but surely inching along.  I think I am probably eating more than I should, but I feel better at here around 1000 cals a day than I did at lower amounts.  So I will probably stay right around this intake.

I do have to watch out for unplanned snacks.  I'm still learning how far I can go between meals.  If I eat breakfast around 7-7:30 then I'm hungry by 11:30 for lunch.  Physically hungry, not head hunger.  If I eat lunch at 11:30-ish, then I have to have a snack at 3:30 to 4 or I will be an absolute crankypants.  Dinner isn't til 6:30 on most days, 7:30 or 8 on Fridays.

Today I got home from work around 6.  I had already had a small snack but there were grapes on the counter and I had a few.  That's the sort of unplanned snack I need to avoid. I wasn't physically hungry and the grapes, while delicious, were carbs not protein.

I can walk my 3 miles now in under an hour, even with traffic lights and a couple hills.  Will continue to work on both distance and speed.  Less weight is helping!

One week from Sunday is my first 5k of the year.  I have 2 scheduled this month (April) and another in mid-May.  I'm going to see if I can improve my times between each.  Then I need to start doing 10ks to prepare for that half marathon in Sept.

My jeans were super baggy and my tops looking sloppy from being too large, so I went shopping for a size down and ended up 2 sizes down!  Size 18 jeans now (in the same brand I was wearing 22s in before) and mostly 1x tops.  

My hope is to be under 200 by the end of the summer, if I can keep from sabotaging myself.

In fact, I gained a couple pounds.  It's been almost 2 weeks.  I know it's normal but it's still frustrating to see people dropping huge amounts of weight and be stuck after the first month.  With the gain, I'm only 14 lbs down since surgery, and it's a couple days short of 5 weeks.  Makes me sad, especially since I am hurting right now and sick with a chest cold on top of it.

And I'll keep doing what I'm supposed to be doing.  But I sure hope the scale starts moving again soon.  That vacation to Hawaii is only 6 weeks away, and while I hadn't expected some HUGE amount of weight loss, I had hoped for a good 30 lbs and some extra energy to go with it.

Tomorrow (Wed) will be my one month surgaversary!  I'm in a stall, which is expected, but I'm down 15 lbs since day of surgery, so that's a reasonable loss for the first month.

So far I haven't had trouble with any particular food.  I'm not sure if that's good or bad.  I suppose the good part is that I don't need to feel deprived or regretful that some food that I love has been taken away from me.  But this means discipline / battling head hunger is going to be much harder.

I had a cookie the other day.  Nibbled a bite.  Then ate the whole thing.  It was a small cookie, a cream cheese sugar cookie that my daughter made, not one of those huge commercial cookies or anything like that but still. A cookie.  I didn't dump.

On Sunday I ate 1200 calories, higher than any day since surgery.  Yikes!!  I let myself get too hungry, and I made a couple dubious food choices.   Not that 1200 calories itself is particularly devastating.  One more week and a couple days, and I move to Stage 4 of my diet and the goal is 1000-1200 cals a day, so it's not that horrible.   It's just so far outside of my normal intake right now.  I had stomach issues all day today as a result -- by that I mean diarrhea and cramping/gas, not pain in my actual stomach.  

I miss being able to guzzle liquids when thirsty.  That hurts!  

Missed a day here, a day there of my vitamins but pretty much otherwise remember to take them all every day.  Omeprazole is non-negotiable, same with Mirapex for RLS.  I'm still having issues with RLS, so probably need to add back in magnesium (Natural Calm). 

The big thing about starting Month 2 is that my working out restrictions are lifted:  I'm free to start the MPC workouts and not just walk!  I'm still so tired, but hope that the exercise will result in more energy over time once I adjust.  

Tired O'Clock is all day every day now, but I hear it gets better.  Looking forward to the brain fog lifting eventually too.  I'm not producing at work like I should be because I just can't focus.  I wonder if higher caloric intake would help with that (the moving up to 1000 to 1200 cals a day).  We'll see in a week or so!

I plan to schedule a DEXA scan here shortly to get my body composition.  It's not exactly 100% "before", but still early enough on to compare later.  I'm going to pay the extra for the bone density scan portion of it too.

As of Friday my diet changed from full liquids/purees to soft foods.  I have not had any trouble so far; my pouch seems amenable to the changes.  Not that I've experimented a lot yet:

• red lentil soup
• tuna with mayo
• canned chicken with mayo
• deviled eggs
• scrambled eggs
• soft boiled egg
• cauliflower mash
• SF pudding
• mashed yam

Honestly, it's mostly been alternating between the chicken or tuna with mayo and the eggs.  I think I should probably expand on it before I get tired of it, but it's only been 2 days and I am so happy to be eating "real" food -- and it tastes good -- maybe too good!  My calorie intake jumped to 600-700 a day.  It amuses me that I'm worried it's too much, because I was certainly eating a LOT more than that before.  I'm just afraid, really.  Afraid that I'll start overeating, even this early on.  

I basically eat a measured 2oz portion of the tuna or chicken, or 1/2 to 1 egg depending.  I stop not because I can feel any sense of fullness, but because that's the measured portion I was told was the right portion size for now.  For soups or purees, 4 oz since it's liquidy and just slides on through.

Will I know if I overeat?  I suppose there will come some fateful day when I don't take a measured portion and I eat too much and my pouch riots.  I don't want to stretch out my pouch or damage things.  

While I still feel some of the weirdness in my guts, it's certainly gotten better.  I almost feel normal now.  Super low energy still (healing plus low calorie intake).

It's Monday morning and I am supposed to be back at work on Wed.  I don't feel so great, but each day is a little better so maybe Wed will be fine.

The fever went away; they had me get some bloodwork done and it didn't indicate infection.  Whew!  So glad for that.  The fever has not come back, either.

Yesterday was low-grade nausea and everything tasted absolutely terrible.  I've seen enough people talking about this post-surgery to know it's normal.  Awful taste in my mouth. Yuck, yuck.  I mostly sipped water and for sure did not get enough protein in as a result.

Today is better:  I got down some mint tea this morning and will finish it up here shortly.  Maybe 3 oz of pureed bean soup with a dollop of plain greek yogurt.  Tasted pretty good!  I do need to see if I can get a protein drink in today though.  Either 8 oz of protein drink or 8 oz of plain Fage yogurt will give me 20g of protein.  My goal is enough liquid and enough protein today.

A 35 min walk yesterday around the little lake on our walking path.  At the pace of a turtle mind you, but I made it.  Will walk it again today at the warmest part of the day, when it might hit mid-50s with sunshine on my head.  Get the blood circulating.

I was able to turn over both directions in bed last night, very very carefully.  That's a huge win -- the muscle spasms have been preventing it and they still kick in from time to time, but not having to get in and out of bed to change positions is a big deal.  Here's hoping that improves so that I can go back to rolling around.  My body aches when I sleep in one position too long.  Probably due to the weight.

Today I will try to look for photos of myself so I've got a couple "before" pics to put in here.  

While I'm certainly not feeling anywhere near as good as I'd hoped to at this point, I am at least still moving forward.  Just got in from a half hour walk (or so) that I could only take at a turtle's pace because my guts feel like they are swishing around in there and I'm slightly nauseated by it. 

Got the JP drain out yesterday morning and ended up sleeping most of the day due to pain and generally feeling unwell. That's unfortunate because it means I didn't get enough fluids in and now I don't feel so great.

So today is sip, sip, sip and trying to get in my protein.  But mostly the fluid.

The spasms still hurt but have calmed down a little since the drain tube was removed.   Still hurts to breathe deeply, cough, sneeze or anything else that uses abdominal muscles.  I was lying in bed a bit ago thinking:  I can see how someone might have regrets about this surgery if this is what it felt like forever -- slightly nauseated, hurts to breathe, generally feeling like crapola on a cracker.  But I know that's not the case:  it'll get better.

Pondering whether I should take extra time off work if I still feel like this on Tues.  I'm due to be back at work on Wed and am not going to be so effective with my head all fuzzy on top of the pain.  I think the low calorie intake is contributing to the lack of clear-headedness right now.  Friday is when I get to start on soft foods.  A soft-boiled egg sounds like heaven.  Tuna with mayo and some pickle juice.  Mashed sweet potato. 6 more days...

I suppose these posts sound like complaining or whining.  I don't mean them that way at all.  I'm optimistic about my weight loss long term.  I just want to be real about what this feels like.  Heard so much of the "I felt great afterwards and was back at work in a week!" that I felt like that would be me -- I'll bounce right back!  So there's the disappointment of not being someone who bounced right back along with feeling yucky.  Just want to put that out there for anyone coming up on surgery -- it's OK to not be the person who is on their feet running around feeling grrrrrrreat! a few days after surgery.  This is some major gut rearrangement here.  It's OK to hurt and to be honest about it hurting.  

And don't get me started on the emotional roller-coaster!  I have to keep tissues nearby. 

So I was in pain for the first few days after my revision, but nothing like today.  Today my right side below the ribcage decided to revolt.  On the front, the drain tube is extremely sore for some reason.  Probably my body trying to close up the wound and it being extra irritated that it can't.

But that's not touching the pain a little lower down that radiates to my back.  Constant spasming.  I can't take deep breaths.  I can't sit back or lie down without severe spasming that makes me yell.  I know it's not gallstones because I had my gallbladder out 20 years ago.  I think it's my port site?  I don't know.  My surgeon's office did not seem concerned as there is no fever.  Just wait it out.  So that's what I'm doing.  It'll get better, right?  Right.

For those who are undergoing a band to RNY revision, just know that whatever the initial pain is for a few days after surgery, you might have some day(s) where it temporarily gets worse for no apparent reason.

Got a nice 30+ min walk in this evening.  It took longer than usual with all the ice on the trail, but it felt great to get out there.   Going to try to continue 30 min walks daily until this pain subsides a bit and I'm able to work up to a brisker pace and/or going a bit longer.  It should help with the gas as well as just getting blood circulating to heal me up!

Almost back down to my day-of-surgery weight -- 2 lbs to go! 

I didn't expect it to hurt this much.  So many people say they hardly had any pain.  Maybe it's the combination of band removal + rny + small hernia repair all at the same time?  Or I guess we're just all different.  Tylenol barely makes a dent.  Oxy gives me the relief I need but I only have a small amount and of course don't want to get addicted so I'm trying to just suck it up as much as possible.

I expected to lose weight.  I'm on day 6 post op today and am still 3 lbs higher than day of surgery.  The scale hasn't moved since I got home on Friday (2 days post-op).  I hear it will come off, just need to keep sipping my fluids.  It's still depressing that others seem to be showing big losses right away.  It'd probably bother me less had I been warned in advance.

I'm on 'full liquids' which means protein shakes, non-caloric drinks, and pureed broth-based soups.  I'm not hungry, which is awesome!  But I also am thinking about all the food I wish I could have right now.  Food-mourning stage.  I'm told it goes away once I'm on the long-term full solids, esp at 3 or so months out when I can have raw veggies and such.  

So far I'm not seeing changes in taste that others are talking about.  But my diet is very limited.

Very much looking forward to healing and getting back to exercise!  I am able to do short walks now but they tire me out more than before as I'm still healing. 

 Tomorrow morning is it.  I'll be waking up 12 hrs from now to hop in the shower and head to the hospital, where I'm expected at 6:20am for an 8:30am surgery.  Band-to-Bypass, B2B.

My anxiety is HIGH right now -- a big piece of it is worry that when he gets in there and looks at my band he'll decide to not do the bypass.  The first thing he'll do is an endoscopy to determine the state of my stomach.  I might only come out tomorrow with no band and no bypass.

If it succeeds, then honestly my biggest fear is success, not failure.  That I'll lose all the weight and be able to buy cute clothes but still feel ugly.  Or that I'll lose the weight and get to do the things I am looking forward to and then gain all the weight back when the brain weasels wake up and start demanding ice cream and other slider foods.  I kind of hope I dump with sugar, so I stay away from it.  Or that my tastes permanently change.  (yeah, I'm dreaming here)

My first 5k after surgery is April 9th.  I will likely walk it, like I have been.
I'll be in Hawaii near the end of April for our 15th anniversary.  I plan to snorkel and walk on the beach at minimum, but if my energy allows it I want to go ziplining and kayaking

My 2nd 5k after surgery is May 14th.  I plan to do a combination walk/jog for that one -- a Color Run with a group.
In June I'll be group hiking.
In Sept I've registerd for a half marathon.  I'd like to be able to walk/jog it, no real intention of running the whole thing.  But that's my big physical challenge I have set for myself.  

Today I set up 2 weekend camping trips for August for my family.  One is tent camping, another in a rustic cabin (no electricity).  Both should be fun and I sure hope I have energy to fully enjoy them!

I'm setting all these things up in advance so I always have something I'm working toward this year.  Diet is the most important when losing weight, but I feel best when I'm exercising too, and I know it will help with the weight loss and keeping me away from junk food.  

So here's to tomorrow -- the first day of my life as a bypasser.