acappellamom

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 The last time I posted was 2008.  I had managed to lose about 30 lbs back then.  I've gained it all back plus more.  My first step was coming back here, and I think I'll lurk for a bit.  

I was lurking, and saw Chris's post for the new year.  His enthusiasm got me motivated to be accountable by putting my plan in writing.  

Here's my reminder:

Post Date: 1/4/08 6:17 am
Hi Chris!

Sounds like ya got yer mind right!

My plan is similar to yours.  Here it is:

focus on one thing at a time
get more sleep
drink more water
if its not good for me - DONT eat it!
(I like foods that are good for me , so I have no excuse! - except maybe that I have to get my kids to eat healthier)
MOVE!
make use of my gym membership!

This week I will go to bed no later than 11pm, I will use a water bottle so I know I'm getting enough water, and I will make a schedule of when I will go to the gym.

(I'm printing this out as a reminder!)

Here's to success in the new year!(with water!)

today is day 4 of my "official" plan.  day 1 went well, then on day 2, I fell off the wagon.  ouch!

I started anew because I'm on the edge of becoming diabetic.  That made me say "enough already"!!

The plan is:
write down EVERYTHING I eat!
go to gym regularly - and make a schedule to do so.
accept myself as I am right now, instead of feeling overwhelmed and not changing at all.
take baby steps!

Luckily, when I went to the doctor and wieghed myself, I weighed 9 lbs less than 4 months ago!  Thank gawd - because I was sure I had gained!

Today I walked about 1/2 a mile.  I told my daughters we were going for a walk, because I knew if I said it, I would have to DO it.  I didn't like it, but I did it.  I haven't weighed myself in a month. No scale.  Probably a good thing.  If I keep this up maybe I'll buy one.....

http://hickorytreechorus.org
www.truebluesquartet.org

I sing in a women's acappella chorus affiliated with Sweet Adelines International, and a quartet as well.  We compete with other  Sweet Adelines in our region (greater New York Area)  My chorus won our regional competion - so we are going to Hawaii 11/08 to compete internationally.  Woo hoooo!  Gotta fit into an airplane seat without being Cheek to cheek for the whole trip!  

My quartet competed for the first time last year.  We came in 6th, and won the novice quartet award.  If you go to the quartet link there's a pic of my quartet - I'm the one on the left with blonde bangs.  We joke about the picture because it looks like Susan(top) has her arms around us all! (she'd have ape arms if this were the case!  

Any other Sweet Adelines out there?  If you love to sing, its likely that there is a chapter near you.  PM me and I can check for you!

I'm over the dissapointment about not having surgery.  Now I have to swing into action and change my eating habits and exersize.  I like to swim, I have a gym membership, and I'm staring to go swimming on a somewhat regular basis.  

But the diet part...... as my husband would say: Ish-ka-freakin-bibble! (he's not Jewish - not sure where he got that from.)

Why is it so hard to take control??  There are so many things in life that are out of our control - and we have to deal.  Here's something that is screwing up my life that I could fix.  So.... why dont I?

yes, I know, food addiction.  even though its an addiction, I cant just "quit cold turkey" like it was cigarettes.  

Just venting.  I'll keep posting, and hopefully the desire to have something positive to post will give me some motivation!

No WLS in the cards for me.....  No insurance coverage.

I guess I'll have to diet and exersize without the aid of a smaller stomach.  My insurance will have to just keep paying claims for all my related problems..... dumb bastards! 

Sleep study - $5000
(I've had 2 so far, and I'm supposed to have another one because I gained weight)
CPAP - dunno how much that was, but ALOT probably!
Venous doppler study
Nuclear stress test
Cardio consult
Countless visits to PCP
Meds!

The above has to add up to at least the cost of WLS!

Good times......

Today I met with the surgeon recommended by my pcp.  My appt was @ 9am.  I was sweating it out in traffic on the way there - petrified that I would be late.  I was the first appt of the day - didn't want to screw up his schedule( I used to work for a doctor)  I arrived 5 min early, all paperwork in hand - completed before the appointment as requested.

I took a seat in one of the "big" chairs.  It was nice to not have to squeeze my ass into a little chair.  It felt odd to be in a waiting room built for big people.  Is this what standard chairs look like to thin people?

They put me into an exam room.  The exam table was plus size too! (I know... DUH!)  The assistant came in and asked a few questions(now it about 9:30).  As she walked out she said "He'll be in shortly - he's probably getting out of his car in the parking lot right now".(odd thing to say to a patient, no?) WTF?? He's not even HERE yet??

So anyways..... He finally arrives(around 9:45!)He introduced himself,  then perched himself on the little wheelie stool with his little computer to enter the responses to whatever questions he asked.

He went over the roux en Y, then the lapband.(I guess most offices are doing only those 2 procedures.  Initially he seemed quite aloof and cold.  I was sooo nervous - and needy for a little warmth, that I was trying hard not to cry.  I think there may have been a little PMS factor going on as well. 

He did warm up a little as we went along - and got past the initial explaining and boring blah blah blahs.....

I went in leaning towards the lapband.  I was afraid of the permenancy(sp?) of the bypass.  Now... waaah, I'm not sure.  

He explained the usual procedure for my particular Insurance plan(sigh...) I expected the time before the actual procedure would be a couple of months.  It seems so daunting.  

The prospect of staying obese is MORE daunting!

I'm going to leave the reams of paperwork in my purse, and look at them, and deal with starting all the legwork tomorrow!

right after my appointment I went straight to the mall and pigged out...