18 months out
Dec 08, 2012
Wow, 18 months since my surgery. That's just ...insane. And to think that this journey has just began...I have a long life ahead of me, and there's nothing more exciting than to think that after 28 years of morbid obesity, I will continue living as a normal sized person. That whole thought blows my mind. it is still a very weird feeling to be small.
Even with all of the demons I am battling in my head, the last couple months have been simply amazing.
I accomplished a crazy life long dream - I ran a 1/2 marathon at the end of October in 2:44. That gave me an average pace somewhere in the 12 mi/mile range. Holy fucking shit. I mean, in July 2010, I couldnt walk a WHOLE MILE. My first mile took me 26 minutes. And here I am, I ran 13 miles, and my average pace was around 12 mins. That whole though just amazes me and is very humbling. I worked very hard to get to this point, and while I could stop and convince myself that I am too slow, etc blah blah blah, the progress speaks for itself. This is by far one of the hardest things ive worked for and accomplished. The weekly challenge to train, to force myself out of bed at 5am to go run, to force myself to fuel my body appropriately, to take care of my body to prevent injuroes - it all paid off the minute I crossed the start and finish line that day.
Two weeks after accomplishing that goal, I underwent extensive plastic/reconstructive surgery. Wow. I had an arm lift, breast lift/implants, a LBL, and a thigh lift. I am now 3 weeks post op from that and I am happy. I dont hate my body, I dont hate the excess skin. I dont recognize myself right now - I am in a body that Ive never seen before, but I sure love it. It's been quite the experience - I have a whole separate blog dedicated to that process - www.sexyskinnybitch.wordpress.com.
I am battling food demons right now - emotional eating stemming from major boredom and anxiety from the recovery process. I am trying to get a handle on this right now - it will be a life long struggle but I have the tools to do this. I refuse to let myself go backwards right now, I have definitely worked too hard to give in to these demons
I am looking forward to the next 6 months when I can celebrate my 2 year date - I will be at my goal, and I hope to be kicking off a life ling maintenance plan by then. I have no idea what my goal weight is yet - that's the goal for the next 6 months, to figure that out. I think I could live at 170, which means I have 20 lbs to shed, but i will take it a couple lbs at a time.