Anne C.
Don't know how to feel inside anymore :(
Sep 28, 2009
Well, here I am....all mixed up...jumbled up....with emotion. I thought that after the initial "purging" of the hormones my body would somewhat level out. It hasn't! I'm going thru more changes! I recently broke up with my fiance. Had been a toxic relationship...one in which he wasn't happy, tho he couldn't admit it....only could say that I was the only way for him to have happiness! That's too much of a burden to put on someone!!!So, I got involved with an old high school friend. Has been wonderful so far...but now he's backing up just a bit...after pursuing me hot and heavy....and me falling easily for this man I've known for 33 of my 42 years of life.....and I don't know how to handle this! Now, I just find that I am not an attractive person....that I'm not sexy, ... desireable.....I know I don't need a man to validate me...but, damn, I'd fallen for him! He's been telling me he loves me...then backs up just a little bit, and I don't know how to back up....I'm trying hard....I had no phone, so he added me to his cell plan.....and JUST added my son...so I don't think this is fly-by-night....When we're together (which is only weekends as he works 2 hours away from me, and lives an hour away) he reaches to touch me every chance he gets...whether it's just to have his arm touch mine...his hand on my knee, holding my hand...touching my hair....wrapping himself around me when we sleep................NOW...he's not not completely divorced yet. I know this weighs on him as he just wants it done! And, I know he's afraid I'll start putting restrictions on him...which I wouldn't do.....but I guess he needs to learn this. HELP ME FIGURE MYSELF OUT! I want to love myself....I've already lost 86.5 pounds with only 32.5 pounds to my original goal weight. But I still see myself as fat. I see ugly. I don't see anything worth anyone's attention! AAARRRGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
3 Comments
About Me
EAST SANDWICH, MA
Location
20.6
BMI
Surgery
03/12/2009
Surgery Date
Feb 02, 2009
Member Since
