I HAVE BEEN STRUGGLING WITH MY WEIGHT OVER 28 YEARS NOW, I GAIN OVER 100 POUNDS IN 1981 WITH MY 1ST PREGNANCY, AND I HAVE BEEN CARING THAT WEIGHT AND GAINING EVERY SINCE, 10 YEARS LATER I  HAD MY 2ND CHILD DIDN'T GAIN TO MUCH WEIGHT THEN DUE TO HER BEING PREMATURE AT 26/28 WEEKS, WEIGHING 1 POUND AT BIRTH, BUT THANK GOD SHE HAD NO BIRTH DEFECTS AND JUST TURN 18, AND ON YOUR LAST YEAR IN HIGH SCHOOL,  I SHOULD HAVE NAMED HER MIRACLE

FOR YEARS I WOULD JUST LOOK AT MY WEIGHT AS I GOT IT FROM MY MAMA, I WOULD LOOSE A POUND HEAR AND A POUND THERE, NO MATTER WHAT I TRIED DIDN'T WORK AND OR DIDN'T WORK FAST ENOUGH FOR ME SO I WOULD GIVE UP, AS LONG AS I WAS GETTING ATTENTION IT DIDN'T BOTHER ME.

I HAVE COME TO THE POINT NOW THAT I AM TIRED OF HEARING,  YOU HAVE SUCH A CUTE FACE, YOU DRESS NICE TO BE YOUR SIZE,  YOU CARRY YOUR SELF WELL TO BE PLUS SIZE,  ETC. I WANT FOR A CHASE TO HEAR, YOU LOOK GOOD

I AM PRETTY MUCH ALL MY FRIENDS SHOULDER WHEN THEY NEED ONE, THEY ALL LOOK AT ME AS MS. HAPPY GO LUCK WITH NO ISSUES, CAUSE I NEVER LET THAT UNHAPPY SIDE OF ME SHOW, AND WHEN I LOOK AT THEM BEING ALL AVERAGE HALF MY SIZE, THEY TREAT ME AS IF I AM JUST AS SMALL AS THEY ARE WHEN DEEP DOWN INSIDE AM WISHING I COULD WEAR THEIR JEANS.  THEY CALL ME SMILEY, BUT IF THEY ONLY KNEW WHATS REALLY GOING ON BEHIND THIS SMILE, I AM HAPPY BUT I JUST WANT TO BE HAPPIER IF THAT MAKES SENSE.

I HAVE SEVERAL FRIENDS THAT I HAVE SHADOWED THAT HAS HAD THE SURGERY BUT NEVER THOUGHT IT WAS FOR ME, TILL PAST YEAR OR SO I WENT TO THE DOCTOR BECAUSE OF KNEE PAIN, OF COURSE WE ALL KNOW THEY PUT IT ON WEIGHT, AND THE ORTHOPEDIC I WAS REFERRED TO MADE ME FEEL LIKE I WAS THE LARGEST THING HE HAD SEEN IN THIS WORLD, HE JUST LOOKED AT ME AND SAID NO NEED FOR ANY KNEE SURGERY AND ASK ME HOW OLD WAS I AND IF I THOUGHT I HAD 5 OR 10 MORE YEARS ON MY LIFE I CAN'T REALLY REMEMBER WHICH ONE I WAS SHOCKED OF THE QUESTION BUT I WANT TO SAY HE SAID 5 YEARS, BUT ANYWAYS HE SAID YOU WOULD HAVE TO LOOSE A NUMEROUS AMOUNT OF WEIGHT FIRST WISH IS UNDERSTANDABLE BUT IT'S HOW HE SAID IT, THEN HE SAID IT WAS IMPOSSIBLE, AND ASKED ME HAVE I EVERY THOUGHT ABOUT WEIGHT LOSS SURGERY, I WAS LIKE NO HE DIDN'T JUST SAY THAT DID HE, HURT MY FEELINGS SO BAD, I MEAN I WISH I COULD HAVE GOTTEN MY $50.00 CO-PAY REFUNDED, HE TOLD ME HE WOULD REPLY BACK TO MY DOCTOR  DIDN'T GIVE ME A PAIN PILL OR NOTHING AS BAD AS MY KNEE WAS HURTING.. ANYWAYS IT HAS BEEN OVER A YEAR NOW STILL HAVING THE SAME KNEE ISSUES ONLY TAKING PRESCRIPTION PAIN PILLS, AND I DON'T REALLY WANT TO GO THOUGH KNEE SURGERY, SO I HAD A LONG TALK WITH MYSELF AND I COME UP WITH I WOULD RATHER TAKE A SURGERY THAT WILL KILL TO STONES IN ONE CAUSE ONCE FOLLOWING UP WITH MY DOCTOR SHE TOLD ME TO THAT IF I STARTED WORKING ON LOOSING WEIGHT I WOULD SEE A DIFFERENCE IN MY KNEE PAIN, SHE ALSO TOLD ME FOR EVERY 4 POUNDS RELEASES THAT MUCH MORE PAIN OF THE KNEE,  BUT TRUST ME IF I HAVE TO GO THROUGH KNEE SURGERY IT SURESSSS WANT BE WITH THAT ORTHOPEDIC SO FOR OVER A YEAR NOW I HAVE BEEN RESEARCHING, TALKING WITH MYSELF, EXPERIENCING OTHERS OUT COMES AND ASKING AND PRAYING IS THIS FOR ME. 

ON TOP OF ME TRYING TO DEAL WITH MY ON ISSUES ON MY OWN, MY MOTHER PASSED AWAY AND IT WILL BE 2 YEARS 12/09 AND SHE USE TO TELL ME WHEN YOUR READY TO MAKE YOU HAPPY YOU WILL KNOW IT, SHE USE TO SAY ONLY YOU CAN MAKE YOURSELF HAPPY YOU HAVE TO WANT TO DO IT YOURSELF YOU CAN'T COUNT ON ANYONE ELSE TO DO IT FOR YOU. 

SO GUESS WHAT I AM READY I KNOW IT, I FEEL IT,  AND AM GOING TO DO IT FOR MYSELF.  I HAVE A LOT TO BE PROUD OF AND THANKFUL FOR SO I FEEL WHATS A BETTER WAY TO SHOW MY APPRECIATION TO MYSELF.
 







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About Me
Location
68.0
BMI
RNY
Surgery
04/26/2010
Surgery Date
Jul 18, 2009
Member Since

Friends 92

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