Okay so it will be 2 months tomorrow and I have had my first fill, so time to reflect again (because it would be silly to reflect more than once a month, ha!)
First of all, I'm still happy I did it, which is huge because (and I know that I'm not giving myself a lot of credit here, but...) there are few major decisions that I've made in my life that at some point I didn't think, 'what the hell was I thinking!!!!!!' and as of this point, I've not yet had that thought. (geez that was a long sentence)
Secondly, I'm thrilled that, although I think about it A LOT (which is two words, thank you Mr. L, my high school psychology teacher, who told me to think "well 'a little' is two words so therefore...", sorry I digress) it is not the only thing that I think about on an ongoing basis. I feel completely blessed that I had off over the summer (not a teacher, but work in a school) to completely focus on myself, so at this point some of the decision making about food, for example, is automatic. I can make a menu at the beginning of the week for all meals and it is DONE!
The fill was incredibly nerve wrecking, although looking back on the experience, like everything else in my life, I completely over thought the whole thing. Because of scheduling, I did not have my first fill until 7 weeks, which is a little bit longer than other people, or so I've read. Luckily I did wait that long because my stomach was still a little swollen. The entire procedure was INCREDIBLY SIMPLE!!!!!!!! I went into my doctors office, laid on the table (raised my head because I guess that allows the port to pop up a little?!?) and felt a pinch for the numbing stuff. The P.A. (the doctor was there too) put a needle into my abdomen and inserted 4 c.c.'s of liquid. Now, compared to others on the board, I'm quite ignorant because I've no idea how much my band can hold. This is a question I keep reminding myself to ask; however when I'm in the office is keeps slipping my mind. (I remember before the surgery, I was so good. I had a pretty black and white paisley binder with all of my information organized, INCLUDING a separate section just for questions! I compare it to having your first child, who has plenty of pictures in a cute baby album and then comes the second child, who often thinks they are adopted because there aren't any pictures of them into they enter kindergarten.) I sat up after and they gave me a cup of water to drink. I started sipping it and realized that both of them were staring at me. I started laughing! 'Do you feel anything?' my doctor asked. I started to panic. Was I supposed to be feeling something because I felt like I was drinking a cup of water. So I just threw the question out of my head into the room and my surgeon started laughing then too. "Actually, no.", she said. 'If you did, we would have to take some liquid out of your band.' Thankfully, once again, I had no issues. The fill like everything else up to this point went smoothly.
I feel like I have more to add, but have run out of time. I will try and add some more observations before I reach 3 months.
BTW, I did have my first post-WLS birthday (I had to write about this just so I could use the birthday cake smiley) and it went off without a problem. I did have a couple drinks (hey it WAS my 30th) and went out to dinner to celebrate. I'm glad that I did not wait another 10 years to have this surgery.
I don't know what I was expecting....
Jul 19, 2008
So I'm 18 days post-op (I love that my date was the first of the month because it is always easy to figure out:), and I'm down 22 pounds. I went yesterday for my post-op appointment and my surgeon was thrilled because I was averaging more than a pound of day; however, I thought I would feel different. I do recognize that the weight loss is great, but I thought I would have at least lost a size, but I'm still wearing the same size clothes. (Sidenote: which scares me beyond belief to think if the clothes actually fit me now, what they looked like 22 lbs heavier!) I know surgery is not magic, but I thought that I would feel different, whatever different might feel like
The things that I am proud about are:
1) I have not stopped and picked up any type of food or drink (besides bottles of water literally) since my surgery, I've ACTUALLY GONE to the, eek!, grocery store twice and packed everything from home.
2) I have stopped weighing myself a bazillion times every day and actually I'm down to less than one time a day.
3) When people give me a compliment, I actually just say, "Thank-you" (my friend said that although she can see my weight loss because I carry my weight so well, it doesn't show as much, that's why other people haven't noticed as much. WTH??? hehe)
4) When my Dad gave me a hug yesterday, he said I feel smaller to hug. love him
5) I wore a tank top in public and I felt comfortable
Okay need to go workout, that has not yet become easier....
Jun 24, 2008
I'm past being ready. Everything is done, my final physical was completed today by my PCP. The best part of the day was when I heard from the insurance company that they gave approval for the surgery!
My friends (the ones I've told) are being super supportive. I spent the day cleaning my house and preparing liquids since I'm staying with a friend after surgery for about a week.