Well I thought I told my story in the "Posts" section but apparently I was wrong.Here goes. 

I have had for all of my life a horrible self image.  My nickname as a child was "Fat".  There are actually people who still attempt to call me that to this day.  They get corrected very quickly.  The thing was my sister is 2 years older than me and I was always much bigger than her.  I was taller and have a different body type than she so being that 95% of the people I was around as a child were ignorant, they called me "Fat".  As I found out when I became older.  I really wasn't fat at all.  I was just different.  But the seed had been planted and the manifestation had begun. 

I went though all of my thinking that just because I was bigger than the friends I had that I was some kind of freak and did not deserve the same treatment that they received.  When I was 11 years old I was 5'6 and weighed 156 pounds.  I thought there was something wrong with me. and I became an introvert.  I hated any type of attention or compliments and I learned to hide behind babysitting and church.By the time I was in high school I had gained about 70 pounds but the summer of my senior year I had these severe neck spasms and the medication I was on made me sleep most of the day so I lost down to about 180 pounds.  I was at the time 5'8 and though I loved the way I could fit into new clothes and wear a size 10/12 I still thought I was fat.  Mainly because people kept telling me that I was fat.  It is amazing how the things people tell you can actually influence how you see yourself.  I got down to about 165 later that year and I was able to get my drivers license.  I remember actually telling the DMV lady to please put 140 on mine because I did not want my actual weight on my license.  Oh what I would give to get back down to 170 pounds.Well, as the years went on I gained a few pounds here and there but nothing crazy. 

It wasn't until I had my son in 1998 that things really started to change for me.  I was so stressed out and so angry at having to raise my son alone that before I knew it, I had gained 80 pounds by the time he was 10 months old.  I gained 21 pounds in 40 weeks of pregnancy and lost it within weeks of having my son and then I gained almost 100 pounds within the first year of his life.  I have been miserable ever since.  I have lost a lot of weight in the past 9 years just not all at the same time...LOL  The most was 62 pounds in 2005 due to thyroid issues but because I was on the wrong dosage of synthroid, I gained it all back.  This time it came with arthritis and insomnia.  I want to go to the park and help my son play football and basketball so that he can become a better player.  I want to walk fast like I used to.  I remember when I could double cross my legs (when I was 170) now if I can even get one leg over the other it usually results in a cramp.  So I don try that much.  I just want my life back.  I feel like I have been robbed, that I am being held prisoner.  I just want to be happy and enjoy my life. 

I am in school right now taking classes to obtain my undergraduate degree in Organizational Management with a concentration in Human Services Administration.  I also work as a teachers assistant with special needs children.  What's crazy is most of "my kids" have heart problems (because of Downs Syndrome) and I find it hard to even keep up with them.  That's sad.

I am here for support, to make friends, gain information (good and bad) and change my life for the better.  I would invite all who read to come along with me for the journey.

Thank you for your time.


****Instead of telling God how big your storm is, tell your storm how big your God is****

GET TO 250 LBS ( 08/26/2007 )
GET TO 220 LBS (date occured)
GET TO 199 LBS (date occured)
GET TO 170 LBS (date occured)

About Me
Vicksburg , MS
Surgery Date
Jan 28, 2007
Member Since

Friends 136

Latest Blog 54