Here we go again.....

Sep 13, 2018

Welp, I went to my first appointment with my PCP to get this 3 month check in so that I can be approved for my surgery through Medicare. Next Thursday, I meet with my surgeon. I am excited but I refuse to let this process take over my life. I want to be super pumped and excited after I recover from the surgery and can exercise and control my eating, protein and vitamin intake. Then I pray I will be beyond motivated!

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WOW........

Mar 24, 2009

OMG!!!!! I can not believe I have not posted in soooo long!!! I have not even been on this site this year! WOW. I never ever in a million years would have thought that I could function without this site and all of the support and all of the information that it provides. I logged on and I got confused because so much of it has changed. Well, all of it has changed. Anyway, I’m back now and I hope to stay back.   Soooooo, lets get down to the dirt. I have gained back at least 40 lbs. I am so serious! I am back up to a size 20 and to be honest, I should probably be in a 22. I feel FAT all of the time. I just gained it back in the last couple of months, like since late January. My labs have been off really bad so I know hormones play a part but I have also been eating like I am crazy. I have a slight addiction to Ambien and it causes “sleep eating”. That is where I get up in the middle of the night and eat and don’t even know I’m eating. I will realize it the next day or when I am looking for whatever it is I ate. It is very frustrating and scary. I had gotten to the point where I did not leave snacks in my bedroom but then I started walking to the kitchen and getting stuff from there. Also, I can eat what ever I want and how much of it I want. I am now up to completing an entire combo meal in one sitting. So needless to say the RNY did not work for me. I never would have thought this would have happened but to be honest, I am not even mad. I actually think it is so typically me. Who else gets a free gastric bypass and then have it not work? J So I am just moving on. This year I will either have the revisional RNY or I will have a DS. And this time, I will know exactly what to do and what not to do. I will pouring myself back into researching and asking annoying questions just like a newbie cause it ain’t like I learned anything the first time!   On a personal note, I am still dating occasionally but between work and my son I just don’t care anymore. I am just not being challenged by anyone. I have yet to meet a man that really has any damn sense. Which just goes to show you…just because you lose weight does not mean that the men get any smarter. But I guess I should stop showing up on dates already on my cell phone talking crazy…lol My brother told me that it sets the tone and that when a man sees that I am not really interested he is not motivated to impress me. I told him that that makes good sense and I will try and do better.   Anyway, I am about to get off of work so I will try and post more later on.   Angela   P.S. It feels so good to be back! 03/24/2009
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LIFE HAS BEEN BUSY..........

Aug 31, 2008

08/31/2008
Wow, I never thought in a million years I would go so long without posting or even coming to this site.  This place has been such a crutch for me, such a safe haven.  I think I may have over-used it.  Anyway, I have kept my weight off and I am still in a size 16 though I still wear 18s because I still have them in my closet.....lol.  A lot has happened since I was last on here, I walked off my job at lunch one day and did not go back.  I have not worked in a little over 3 weeks but then this past Friday I got 2 job offers.  I accepted them both because one does not start till like mid-September and the other starts this Tuesday, so I will just work the little day care job for a few weeks then start on the other job with the government contractor.  I know it may be a little wrong, but I need the money and besides, it's a split shift so I am off from 10am-4pm.  I am still with the guy I met back in June.  We actually have known each other since 2001 but this is the first time we have actually gotten together.  We bump heads a lot but it is moving along.  I am really happy with the way things are with us because I can only handle so much right now and being that I am so inexperienced when it comes to relationships, I just need to go at my own pace without being concerned about where our relationship is going.

Anyway, I think that is just about it for now.  My son's football season started yesterday and it is looking good already.  They won their first game and I could not believe that I was actually running up and down the sidelines screaming and cheering.  It felt great.  I think I may have finally come to terms with my weight loss and lack thereof.  I am happy with me now.  I just wish my hip were fixed...LOL  No amount of weight I loss is going to make it better.  Oh, the new job that I start in mid-September has a work out facility on the bottom floor so to avoid really bad traffic, I will be going in to work early and to work out a little.  Even if I do nothing more than cardio for 45 mins it will be more than the nothing that I am doing now.

Angela

I'M GETTING THERE.....

Jul 07, 2008

07/07/2008
Just a quick update here.  Even though I decided not to have revisional surgery, I have still managed to lose about 15 lbs.  I slipped into some size 16 slacks this morning and am wearing them very nicely.  I even have a little room to spare.  It felt good to be able to put them on since they have been hanging in my closet now for months.  So I can now say that I am in a size 16.  This is really awesome since my goal is to be in a size 12.  Only two more sizes to go!  It may take me till the end of this year but I will get there...LOL  I was checking myself out in the elevator this morning and I really do like the way things look on me, it's just that my gut is just my problem.  So I will surely be getting that tummy tuck as soon as I can.  Also, I will be leaving on 07/17 to drive down to Atlanta to pick up my son.  I miss that kid so much!

Anyhoo, that is about it.  I will update as things come along.....

MY TIME REALLY FLIES.....

Jun 29, 2008

06/30/2008
Well, hello everyone!  I guess I have been gone for awhile.  This has been the first time since I joined this site that I have gone for weeks without even so much as a glance.  I've been really busy with life.

Well first things first.  I cancelled my surgery just because I did not want to have it.  My surgeon told me that if I lose 25 more lbs I can have a tummy tuck!  Well, my plan is to lose 30-35 just to make it really good. So I go back to see him in about 4 months.  Anyway, my son left on the 9th as planned and I have slowly gotten back my sanity.  Needless to say he is not staying the entire summer but will be back here July 15.


Don't know if you keep up with my blog or not but several months ago I informed you all that there was this coach on my sons football team who I was just in love with...well anyway, as fate would have it, I had the unexpected opportunity to work with him on a fundraiser and it was really nice.  He kept staring at me and asking me if I had been working out because I looked really nice and so I told him what was going on with me and he just went on and on about it.  To the point where I really lost interest in this man.  LOL……He is a nice guy, has everything a woman could be looking for.  He is single with an older child.  Just bought his own home and has a great job and loves Jesus.....but he is not at all aggressive and like most women I need that aggression.  Anyway, we're still cool but the crush thing is over.  And it just seems like when I get rid of one group of dudes another group comes along and just takes their place.  I went like 3 weeks without talking to anyone and then just like before, the floodgates opened up.  It has been fun, I won't lie.  I am enjoying myself but then one day late last week, I ran into someone I have known for years but have not spoken to in a very long time.  We talked all day at work and realized we live around the corner from each other.  He came over right from work and we just stood out in my parking lot and sat on my patio and talked till 10:30.  It was the craziest thing....Out of all of the guys I have been talking to and dating (my whole life) he has had the biggest impact on me.  This is so strange and I feel so out of place and really not sure what to do at this point in time.  I cancelled all of my dates this past weekend just to be available for him.  I am so out of it.  But I can not help but wonder why (other than my prayers) God allowed him back in my life.  I guess we shall see won't we?

Talk to you soon......

Angela


NOT SURE HOW I'M FEELING........

May 22, 2008

05/23/2008
Hello everybody!

Nothing really to report just felt like posting today.  I went by my surgeon’s office yesterday (because I had never been to the Woodbridge location before) and Dr. Halmi came out and spoke with me for a minute. It was nice that when he saw me he waved and came over and asked if I have been feeling any better and losing/gaining any weight.  I decided to stick with him and his program fee because I am just too tired to start this program over again with anyone else.  Anyway, while I was there, I was informed that the fee had been changed to $1,000.00 instead of the original $2,000.00.  So I was really happy about that.  My grandmother is going to help me with it so I won't have to do it all on my own.

Well, my son leaves on June 9 to go to MS for the summer.  My heart aches to think about it but I know it is what's best for the both of us.  He needs to be around family and I need to know what it feels like to be alone for a little while.  I know after about a week I will be ready for him to come home and I am trying to figure out now how I am going to deal with the solitude.  I have officially cut everyone off that I have been talking to or dating the past couple of months.  I don't know why, I just don't want to deal with having to explain this revision to anyone.  I told one guy and he just kind of looked at me like I was crazy.  Wanted to know why I was doing this to myself (again) and that there was nothing wrong with me that couldn't be fixed with some old fashioned will power and determination.....blah blah blah.....I am sure he meant well but I can't keep going through that with people.  I am actually looking forward to being alone in some aspects, even though I will miss Alex terribly I know he is gonna have such a good time and if he does not....I will go and get him...LOL Simple as that.  I will figure something out but I am not gonna allow him to be miserable just so I won't have to pay for summer camp…..

Anyway, I am almost excited about this second chance that I have been given.  When I am brave enough, I will tell my story in detail.  I think it is so important that people know that just because you don't make it to your goal weight (or even come close) that it may not all be your fault.  I have been doing so much research on revisions and I have found that it's about a 50/50 or a 60/40 split in failure.  I know for myself when I stopped losing in November, I gave up in December.  Even though I did try with hiring a trainer, I knew something was not right with me.  Anyway, today I am a lot more focused and I have been armed with a lot more information.  I know different questions to ask when I go see my surgeon on June 2.  I will update then, if not sooner.

Take care,

Angela


APPROVED.........

May 12, 2008

05/12/2008
Ok, so I have been approved for my revision surgery and am scheduled to be "done over" on July 16.  Well the crazy thing is....I am going to have to change surgeons because the one I have wants me to pay $2000 up front before I can even start my pre-surgical testing.  These doctors are a damn trip.  I swear they are.  I call it, "The Fleecing of Fat People".  I guess they figure we are desperate to have this surgery so we will do whatever to get it done....ummmm, no thank you.  I will just have to be slightly inconvenienced and go to DC.  I did not want to have to do that, but guess what?  I am.

Anyway, I will keep you posted on that one.  I already have an appt with another doctor and have explained to his office that I have already been approved and have not intentions of paying some crazy ass "program fee".  They were like cool. We don't blame you, come on.

I never thought I would ever say this, but ya'll I'm tired of dating!  I am tired of dealing with men right now.  It is all just so overwhelming.  I guess because me going through so much right now (my son is leaving in a few weeks for the summer and I am on the verge of having a nervous breakdown because of it) I just can not handle dealing with extra people right now.  I've met some decent people but I can not give them what they are looking for right now and I am sure it is the same with them.  I am not even where I want to be physically so I guess I was caught off guard by all the attention.  I know it is just going to get worse after I have the revision and lose this other 60 lbs so I need to learn now how to deal with it.

Anyhoo...I was just updating so you all know where I am at this point.  I will update after my next consult if nothing else happens before then.

Angela


This is an off topic update.  I just had to give you guys a taste of my life......

Late last week my son somehow broke the shower in his bathroom.  I forgot to call and have someone come out and repair it so since then the young man has been using my shower.  Well, here it is 9:09pm and I have no shower for the morning.  I have no idea how this boy did it but he tore out the handle in my shower.  So I guess I will be takin a ho bath in the morning...LOL

DENIED.......

May 05, 2008

05/05/2008
Well it seems I have come to yet another monthly anniversery and still have not lost any weight.  It's ok though.  I am just gonna deal with it. I really need to get my eating under control.....Anyway, I got a call from Ruth at Dr. Halmi's office and she informed me that I was denied for my revision surgery.  She messed up my paperwork so Carefirst denied me.  To be honest, I didn't even think I could get as far as I did being that I am only 11 months out today.  We have re-submitted with an appeal and should hear something back from them anyday now.  I will update then. If it is another denial, I am not going to try again.  We will see how things go.

Well, I am not going to say a whole lot because I have a ton of things going on in my life right now.  So many things are up in the air or just barely getting off the ground or have crashed and burned and I am just learning to deal with it all plus be my sons mother, my employers employee and me to myself.....it is tough.  I have started back going to church though and praying more so mentally and emotionally I feel better.

Will update later.......

WAITING SUCKS........

Apr 09, 2008

04/09/2008
My information hasn't even been submitted to the insurance company for review and already I'm about to go crazy.  I am having major issues with my PCP's office with getting my medical records sent to the new surgeon.  They are just dragging their feet.  I am pretty darn pro-active so I had already called my insurance company last week to find out what information they were gonna need in order to consider me for approval and though I was told several different things every time I called, the one thing I was told every time was they were gonna need my medical records.  So I started calling last week for them to send over my stuff....well, here it is Wednesday of a whole new week and they still have not processed it.  I am so angry I really want to just leave work early and go over there and stand over them as they copy my file.  I have been having problems with them this whole year though.  Took 3 damn weeks to get my Rx for Ambien called in and almost a week to get my new dosage of Synthroid.  I am just frustrated and have returned to blogging to keep from eating.  I am a nervous eater and right now....I'M NERVOUS!!!!!!!! 

The last time I was on this road it took all of about 4 hours to get an approval.  I walked into the doctors office will all of the required items needed to submit and before I left had a surgery date and an approval code!  I guess that is why I am back here again...it was too easy for me.  Maybe I have been a bit delusional the past year.  Matter of fact, my appointment was exactly a year ago today....just thought about that.

I called Dr. Halmi's office yesterday to see if I could get them to make my PCP's office move a little faster and was told to leave them alone and that I was more than likely getting on their nerves by calling so much...LOL  Can you believe that crap?  I might just be but from where I stand that is apart of their job!

I need to pray a little harder because this is just so hard on me right now.  I need to have a surgery date so I can start planning.  I have to make arrangements for my son.  I need someone to take me to the hospital.  I have to get time off of work plus budget for loss of income......AHHHHH!!!!  Such is life....
 

***********UPDATE 3:15***************
Just got a call from PCP's office saying that all of my records had been faxed and went through.  So now the real waiting game begins........please pray for me.....patience is not one of my stronger qualities


BAD CASE OF "THE NERVES"......

Apr 07, 2008

04/07/2008
I spoke with Ruth, the insurance coordinator at Dr.'s Halmi and Tran office.  She explained to me that my insurance requires a 6 month diet waiting period for a revision.  I said, well that’s cool because I had the bypass 10 months ago...she stated to me that IT DOES NOT COUNT!!!!  How in the world can it not? She said that I would have had to be seeing a doctor every month for at least 6 months in order for it to count.  Well, needless to say, I have not gone to any doctor every month for 6 months since this surgery.  So I got the revision procedure code and called up CareFirst to get some clarification and was told that it only required medical review.  So they are going to request my medical records and go from there.  I also have to get another Psych eval.....I understand that.......

Anyway, I was also told that Dr. Tran would like to do both a revision and the stomaphyx on me....I was like what???  Why both???  I don't understand how all that works, but whatever is going to fix me and allow me to live a long life in good health....that is all I want.

Will keep you guys updated...

Angela


About Me
Vicksburg , MS
Location
34.7
BMI
Surgery
06/24/2010
Surgery Date
Surgeon
Jan 28, 2007
Member Since

Friends 136

Latest Blog 54
LIFE HAS BEEN BUSY..........
I'M GETTING THERE.....
MY TIME REALLY FLIES.....
NOT SURE HOW I'M FEELING........
APPROVED.........
DENIED.......
WAITING SUCKS........
BAD CASE OF "THE NERVES"......

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