Angela M.
I've Got the Ball Rolling.....
Mar 06, 2007
03/06/2007
Well, last night I went to the seminar being held by Commonwealth Surgeons. I left
I emailed the office coordinator and we scheduled my first consult for March 26,2007 at 3pm. I am excited. I wish to have my surgery date on June 18, 2007 because school gets out on June 15 and I will have all summer to heal and get used to my new lifestyle. Once I have this consult I will be ready to have all of my paperwork submitted to my insurance company for approval because I already had my psychiatric evaluation on Friday 03/02/07. It went well. I went in there and just told the truth and as it turns out, I am not crazy after all. I told the counselor that I will be seeing her after I have the surgery because I know I am going to need help adjusting to my new life. I just want to do things for the right reasons.
Anyway Ya'll, that is it for now. I will be sitting here for the next 3 weeks thinking about what lies ahead of me.
Already started grieving....
Feb 25, 2007
02/25/2007
I remember watching the Oprah show when Kirstie Alley revealed her new body in that bikini. There was a woman on there talking about her experiences with life since having WLS. I sat there thinking, "How can you be happy now when your life has changed so much, FOREVER?" That show came on what, 3-4 months ago and here I am now about to wet my pants with anticipation for the same surgery.
I hate being judgmental. You never know where life is going to lead you. I never thought I would be here. I never thought I could be this honest with anyone about how I truly feel about myself. On that episode of Oprah the young lady talked about how differently people treat her now that she has lost all of her excess weight. I thought to myself, "Wait, people treat you differently when you are overweight?" I never knew that. Last night I was having this conversation with a close friend of mine and she said to me, "Angela, you do know how much your life is about to change don't you?" I told her yes, that I was in the barber shop with my son the other day and I realized how no one in there would make eye contact with me. It was the first time I had noticed this. I never knew that. I sat there trying to make eye contact with people in there and no one would look at me. I went home and I cried. I cried. I cried for me. I never knew that being overweight had this big of an impact on my life. So now I sat there thinking about job interviews I thought I had nailed and never got a call back, "Was it because of my weight?" I have no idea, I just never knew that my weight actually factored into perceptions that people had about me. Call me crazy but I really never knew this. Plus growing up being treated like crap kinda prepares you for the worst in life. Anyway, I cried because I feel like when I do lose the 142 lbs I want to lose with the assistance of this surgery, I know I will feel sorry for the person I am now and have been for the past 9 years. I know God allows everything in our lives for a reason so I am in no way ashamed of who I am or even feel like I have missed out on anything, I just feel bad knowing that people look at me a certain way because I am overweight.
I will say this, God had to work on me, he had to break me apart so that He could build me back up to be just what He wanted. I feel like He allowed me to be overweight so that I could be humbled and learn to be appreciative. I am just that and now it is time to be the new me. I am so very excited about this surgery. I am so very excited about the fact that I will be in full control and in charge of my eating habits. Win or lose, fail or succeed, I will be the one to determine that. I need the structure. I need the restrictions. No excuses for me. I am already a member of 2 gyms, I have been given a wealth of information on this site about products worth trying out and on top of all of that God is sitting in the captains chair of my life and He is fail proof.
I don't have a date yet. I do go on this Friday March 2, 2007 for my Psychiatric evaluation (weather permitting). It's amazing, that is all my insurance company requires of me for approval. To pass the evaluation and be 100+ pounds overweight. I am so blessed.
On My Way..
Feb 10, 2007
OK, I called my PCP on Thursday and was given the number of a surgeon in Richmond. Yes, Richmond. Since I have the state health insurance (Anthem Healthkeepers Plus) no doctor in Northern VA will accept me. I found a few in DC which is only 30 miles from here but they told that even though they accept my insurance I still I have to see a doctor in VA. Anyway, I called Dr. Neil Hutcher's office and was told that the first step is to attend a seminar. Dr. Hutcher is actually the president of the American Society for Bariatric Surgery. I don't know if that means a whole lot but, it sounds good to me. I enrolled in the next seminar which is being held on March 5th....in Richmond. So that means I am going to have to leave work at no later than 2:45 to try and get to Richmond by 5pm. The traffic up here is crazy. Anyway, I still plan on making a few more phone calls next week just to be sure I have exhausted all of my options for finding a doctor in this area.
Introduction of me
Feb 07, 2007
Hello everyone,
My name is Angela and I am a 33 year old single mother to a 9 year old boy. I live in Northern, VA and right now I have a huge decision to make. I have been struggling with my weight pretty much since I gave birth to my son. The stress of being a single mother just really got to me. Food became my best friend. I have learned to find so much comfort in food that is sometimes scares me.
Well, here I am 5'9 and 312 pounds. Pounds that no matter what I do, always seem to come back to me. I have no idea why I can not just "lose the weight" and keep it off. In the past few years I have had a slew of medical issues that caused me to gain even more weight and now I can't even work out because I have arthritis in both of my knees and my left hip. Most days I can barely walk and the worst of it all is that I am teaching my son all of my bad habits. He eats when he is bored and lonely. Just like I do. I look at him at times and I could just cry. What am I doing?????
This is the first time in my life I am even being honest with myself and admitting I have a problem. I know I have no excuse but to go ahead and have one of these procedures done. I have benefits most people don't. See, my son and I were displaced due to Hurricane Katrina and since relocating to VA, I have been able to obtain state issued insurance, that will cover my surgery and pre and post care (no out of pocket expenses for me) and I work with the school system so I get the summer off. I have more than enough time for recovery. I am just scared. Scared that I will look crazy after losing over a 100 pounds in less than a years time. Scared that I will still be either too lazy or unable to work out like I should. Scared that I will actually mourn the loss of my current relationship status with food.
Well, thank God for God. I have been praying about this since 12/06 and it keeps coming back to this. I even signed on to this site several weeks ago and I am just today (02/08/07) bringing myself to upload photos and post a message.
Well, I am going to call my PCP again today. One of the nurses in her office had the procedure done in 2005 and I have spoken to her a time or two about it and she has been very supportive and encoouraging. My doctor highly reccomends me going through with the procedure and has actually been making arrangements for me since last year but I have been putting it off. I will contact her today and give her the go ahead.
For those of you who pray, please pray for me a stranger on the same journey as you. I need to do the right thing, not just for me, but for my son and my family.
