algebrapro18
A new week, an new me
Jan 22, 2008
Well this week is really a turning point for me I think. Other than being stressed out with school starting, work starting, and stuff going on in my personal life I am doing very well this week. Last night marked the first time I did 200 crunches though I think I might have over done it just a little because I did get dizzy and light headed and slightly nauziated after that and had to cut the rest of my workout short.
Yesterday was a 1700-1800 calorie day which may seem like a lot to some of you but thats right around where my doctor wants me being that i am now starting school which means being on my feet a lot. Now sadly 900 of those 1700-1800 calories were from energy drinks so...yeah thats not good but I still feel like I am doing good this week. I just made a meal and for the first time weighed it out and it turns out that had I not added the 2 oz of chicken to my lunch that I would have had a 4 oz lunch which is right where they want me to be
.
I can't help but feel like today is a really good day and I can't really put my finger on why...I mean I started school today and that went well but it just feels like today is a good day. I am also to the point where my jeans refuse to stay on unless TIGHTLY belted to me and I have been wearing these for about 2 months so I am guessing I have lost a little more weight, though being that I don't have a scale I can't really check.
Yesterday was a 1700-1800 calorie day which may seem like a lot to some of you but thats right around where my doctor wants me being that i am now starting school which means being on my feet a lot. Now sadly 900 of those 1700-1800 calories were from energy drinks so...yeah thats not good but I still feel like I am doing good this week. I just made a meal and for the first time weighed it out and it turns out that had I not added the 2 oz of chicken to my lunch that I would have had a 4 oz lunch which is right where they want me to be
. I can't help but feel like today is a really good day and I can't really put my finger on why...I mean I started school today and that went well but it just feels like today is a good day. I am also to the point where my jeans refuse to stay on unless TIGHTLY belted to me and I have been wearing these for about 2 months so I am guessing I have lost a little more weight, though being that I don't have a scale I can't really check.
Some progress made
Jan 15, 2008
Well I have almost been back at my apartment from visiting my parents for a week now and things are better than they were but still not near to perfect yet. I fell off the wagon and it ran me over the other night and the band let me know that I was stupid for eating as much as I did...thats why I like the band it doesn't let you off the hook. When your stupid it sits there and yells that in your ear for the next couple of hours. Not only was I stupid but i ate a weeks worth of groceries in 4 days...so I have to go back to the store and spend money I don't have on food. All because I still eat when stressed out, which I am going to work on because after the punishment handed down to me by the band I would rather just take the stress and not eat than have the kind of night i had the other night.
Looking back and inward
Jan 12, 2008
Well its been 1 year, 2 weeks and 2 days since my surgery and I am sitting here 50-60 pounds lighter so I can't be upset but I can't help but feel like I have let my self down. I had dreams and asperations of being down 100-110 pounds by now and...well that didn't happen. If I look back at the last year and especially the last 6 months compaired to the first 6 it is very very clear why I am not sitting here down 100 pounds. I still eat from stress and when solids don't agree with me I am not afraid to go to soft foods to do the damage. Thats a huge problem and when I look at it I really don't wonder why I didn't make my goal of 100 pounds in the first year. Pizza, Chips, sweet, a little soda...the list of foods I shouldn't have but did eat goes on and on and until recently it was growing by the day.
Christmas came and I made up my mind... I WILL NOT GO BACK I told my self. I will NOT become that man again...that 400+ pound blob that I hated everything about. Not again, so I went to see my doctor and he gave me a fill and once we got it to the right amount (had to take out .8cc's) I was good. Yes I can still eat about 6 oz which is 2 over what they want but its a lot better. And all those things on my list, the list I mentioned earlier, have no more appeal to me. What does have appeal is the fact that everything I had gained in the last 3 months is off again while I was home on break. I went to my parents house weighing 380ish pounds and I left at about 366. It felt great to be back down to 366 which is only up 8 pounds from my lowest weight and I will get those 8 pounds back, for sure, in the next few weeks.
Going home filled me with a new sense of determination, all it took is seeing that 380 mark and I consider my self lucky that it was only 380 and not the dreaded 400 again. So as I write this today I am sitting in my apartment with a fridge full of vegativles and fruit, very little things in my freezer. No pizza's, no popsicles, a little ice cream that i am probably going to throw out when I am done writing this. I sit here now totally determined to do this because I want it more than ever. Seeing the number go up 20+ pounds again made me realize how much I do want this, how important it is to me to do this right.
I remember when i was driving home from the doctors office after the fill, I was thinking to my self that yes I was down 3 pounds since he had seen me just 4 days prior but it could have been so much more had I not had pizza, a gallon of ice cream and 2 bags of cookies over the weekend. And for the first time in a long time I got mad at my self for cheating my self out of a larger weight loss. I didn't get mad at my parents, the doctor, the band, no one but my self. I messed up, I had bought and eaten the food, and I had only lost 3 pounds. And I, when I go back in a month, will not be making the same mistake.
Okay this is the end of my first blog and a VERY long rant *takes a big breath*.
Christmas came and I made up my mind... I WILL NOT GO BACK I told my self. I will NOT become that man again...that 400+ pound blob that I hated everything about. Not again, so I went to see my doctor and he gave me a fill and once we got it to the right amount (had to take out .8cc's) I was good. Yes I can still eat about 6 oz which is 2 over what they want but its a lot better. And all those things on my list, the list I mentioned earlier, have no more appeal to me. What does have appeal is the fact that everything I had gained in the last 3 months is off again while I was home on break. I went to my parents house weighing 380ish pounds and I left at about 366. It felt great to be back down to 366 which is only up 8 pounds from my lowest weight and I will get those 8 pounds back, for sure, in the next few weeks.
Going home filled me with a new sense of determination, all it took is seeing that 380 mark and I consider my self lucky that it was only 380 and not the dreaded 400 again. So as I write this today I am sitting in my apartment with a fridge full of vegativles and fruit, very little things in my freezer. No pizza's, no popsicles, a little ice cream that i am probably going to throw out when I am done writing this. I sit here now totally determined to do this because I want it more than ever. Seeing the number go up 20+ pounds again made me realize how much I do want this, how important it is to me to do this right.
I remember when i was driving home from the doctors office after the fill, I was thinking to my self that yes I was down 3 pounds since he had seen me just 4 days prior but it could have been so much more had I not had pizza, a gallon of ice cream and 2 bags of cookies over the weekend. And for the first time in a long time I got mad at my self for cheating my self out of a larger weight loss. I didn't get mad at my parents, the doctor, the band, no one but my self. I messed up, I had bought and eaten the food, and I had only lost 3 pounds. And I, when I go back in a month, will not be making the same mistake.
Okay this is the end of my first blog and a VERY long rant *takes a big breath*.
