October 15th, 2010 -Venting

Oct 15, 2010

Ok today has been offically month 3 of my stall! I am so frustrated! I have gone of the bandwagon and I know that some of what I am eating doesnt help! Im at 260 to 262 I cant break out of 260 its has a vise grip on me! It sucks! Im so close to being in the mid 200s and I hate not losing anything! I am breaking the cycle! I am going grocery shopping and going for a walk! Im so tired of being on the stalled train! It happens though. If anything tho I have been to the dr though and I OFFICALLY have normal blood pressure.....120 over 88 when I was sick. My blood pressure always went sky rocketing when I was sick. Also I had a normal blood pressure cuff that was used and it didnt pop open during the reading!!!! YAY!
Well off to go grocery shopping and SALAD sounds so yummy right now!
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October 2nd 2010

Oct 02, 2010

Im enjoying this fall weather so much! Today has been a great day its s windy and just hot enough to be outside and not break a sweat! The nights are cooler so we get to leave our windows open. My weight loss is still at a stand still and Im thinking about joining a gym... I hate to admit this but I MISS THE GYM! I dont like going but I love how my body feels the day after. Other then that Im just dealing with some mind games that goes along with the surgery and some mind games that boys play on you! I have being getting much needed advice and I am thankful for it. I read the other day about the increase risk of suicide after WLS. I realize why now! I have had a hard time with my surgery and I went to support groups and I have been the online support. Anyone that says it wont happen to me is just kidding yourself. There is a big adjustment with the surgery whether is RNY (Gastric Bypass), a Sleeve, or A band. I never realized why I was overweight. I never thought there was a reason of why I was over eating. Its not just a love for food. We all love food to a degree. When you find comfort in food that's when  you have a problem. I passed the pyshic exam but that didnt going the reason as to why you eat. There needs to be more that the physic exam covers. I know that I was honest but some things the Dr. didnt ask. I want to share my journey and what has happened. I always though that you could just lose the weight and the issues would just leave as the pounds were dropping off. I know that didnt happen. I have realized that I was overweight and an over eater because of my childhood. I lost my dad when I was very young and I had a mom that thought feeding me and a full belly was the way to happiness. I was brought up to think of food as comfort. After my dad died when I was 3, my mom was a single parent that owned her own business. Many times I would play sick to be around her. I felt very lonely as a child. I was an only child that didnt know how to cope with losing a parent. I realized that I was different then all the other kids around 4th grade. By middle school I became very much of an outcast. Trying to become invisible but it was hard to do being the tallest girl and the fattest one in school. I always had friends but it felt like I was alone in the world. In high school I dealt with even more problems then I realized at the time. My junior year I skipped most of my 2nd semester and ended up failing the 2nd semester. I had thoughts of I dont want to graduate without my dad being there. The fact of it though was that he wasnt going to be there whether I fail or I graduated. I graduated with my class in June of 2008!
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October 1st, 2010

Oct 01, 2010

Happy OCTOBER Everyone!!!!!! Today was an amazing day! I have offically gotten back into the swing of my new life! Its was a great day and Im seeing the leaves start to brown and the tree in the back yard is turning yellow. Its offically FALL!! You know what that means..... my 21st birthday is around the corner. 11 days left to be exact (but whos counting??). Im so happy to be home and in a great place in my life. I have had my main birthday present early due to it being a concert and I couldnt really tell Michael Buble to come to Florida on my birthday. My mom and I went in July to see him at the Jacksonville arena! It was amazing and Im still as excited as when I left. My mom bought me a tshirt (cant fit in it yet) but I figured that I could at least have a goal that I can work too. Its a very small 2x but Its probably a womans XL or 1x. Its not too far from fitting but Its a goal and something to remember how much fun my 21st brithday present was. Im so thankful for my job I got transferred to the Trade Secret in Brandon Fl from the Outlet in St Augustine. Im glad that I have a job. Its nice to have a paycheck with lots of hours on it. My weight loss it still stalled and Im trying to watch what I am eating and getting back out to excerise. Its nice that the nights have cooled off and that will push me a little bit more to getting out and going to walk. Its so hot in Florida that a little cool breeze is very welcome.
In other news I am thinking that I should really write a book about my journey in WLS and being a very young wls patient. Its much harder to understand what is happening to our bodies and you think that with WLS you would be more happier with accomplishments that come with it. There are a lot of struggles with the surgery that I didnt expect that I would feel. I think that most of my postings will become some of my book and I will be posting more now that I have internet!
Just thought I would welcome October and all it has to offer! Welcome fall and some cool air!
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Sept. 13, 2010

Sep 13, 2010

Well I haven't been on here in forever it seems. I have a lot to say! So curl up with a cup of coffee or tea of even water and get ready for my long story.
I have offically moved back home! I moved out of the condo 9-11-10 and I'm so happy. I gave my roommate a month and a half notice. Due to my roommate getting a 2nd dog I was done. She got a pit bull puppy I think 6 weeks old. I was done with it. I was there for about a month after the 2nd dog joined us. After my roommate not cleaning up after the dogs after the puppy having accidents in the house. The carpets smelt like urine and shit. I was so embarrassed to have the movers and my mom and her boyfriend over to help me move. I just unloaded the uhaul yesterday and I found out that even my furniture stinks. 
On the better side of things; I got a job right before I left at Trade Secret as a Beauty Advisor. Its a great job and its very easy for me to do. My 3rd week there was labor day weekend and it was amazing sales wise. I even met my production goal. That means that I got a bonus of 100+ dollars!!!!! for 11 hours of work! Can you believe it? I couldn't but I said thank you and did a happy dance! I told my boss up there that I was moving and I would really love be to transferred. I was off the schedule for about a week and the transfer was in process. I got a call on Wednesday the 8th before I left and it was my new boss! I got transferred and I'm so thankful for everything that has happened.
My mom helped me a lot with the moving expenses and I told her that I will pay her back just write me a bill of what it takes for me to move back home. I hired movers since I was on the 3rd floor. But I'm thankful for the bonus that I got because it paid for the movers. 
Today I called my boss and told her I'm officially here. She seems very nice and I haven't met her yet. Tomorrow (9-14-10) I go in to get in the system, get a key, and fill out paperwork. She also said that if I could I would start working Wednesday. Ok I'll recap Ive only been in town since Saturday and I got a job and start Wednesday! That still blows my mind!
Well that's my story for now! Sorry it was long but I haven't been on in awhile so I had a lot to say!
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Law of attraction..... Part 1

Jun 26, 2010

I have been in the worst mood I think I have ever been. I know that things aren't going to get better if I don't turn things around for myself. I heard from a friend that there's a book that I should read! Its all about attitude and way of thinking. I really thought about it and that really is true. Think about it.... If you keep thinking '' I hope I don't screw this up or I hope I don't drop something on my brand new white shirt'' You end up screwing it up or spilling it on your shirt!

So I have realized that WE all need to start believing that things will happen if we up positive energy into out daily routines. Example: I know that I will be successful rich and happy. Think about it. If you put positive energy into the world it reflects just like a mirror. That positive energy will attract more positive energy and pull it into your life. There was a quote that I really enjoyed and I want to share it with you.

"If you see it in your mind, you're going to hold it in you hand.''

to be continued....
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May 30th, 2010

May 30, 2010

Well May has gone by fast! I really am having problems with this part of my journey. I have being dealing with some depression. I think its due to a number of things that have happened in my life lately. Money is very very tight since I just moved out for the first time. I feel horrible asking my mom for money because its tight for her too. I'm not used to us being broke! Another reason was I went to a wedding and felt really hot! Had some really good champagne and in the middle of dance and having fun I realized I'm alone and very very lonely. I just moved 3 months or so ago and although I have been hit on 2 times nothing has come of it. I need someone that can help motivate me, help keep me sane, and have to bounce ideas off of! I love just talking to people and not having friends that I can talk to is very hard. I just need to start going to the gym more. I can't believe that I would ever say this but I miss the gym! I went to kickboxing twice and its fun but it makes me really sore. I just like the traditional gym. I've been doing a mile or so on the treadmill and I'm missing the gym!
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April 24th, 2010

Apr 24, 2010

Ok so an update of life.....
I have almost no tshirts that fit (maybe a total of 5 and 2 are brand new)
Only 3 pair of jeans fit
and I lost 3 lbs of fat but gain 2 lbs of water weight
so that means I lost a lb in a month!

I put some of my clothes up on ebay and Im so excited some of them have sold!!! I see my body shape changing! I see my hip bones theres still some fat there but I see them....
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April 15th, 2010

Apr 15, 2010

Ok well yesterday was a good day..... I walked a mile. YAY me! 

Im so upset tho I just came home and I turn on my computer and Im sitting in the living room and my roommate is on my couch and has been for 3 days claiming that ''shes sick'' but when her bf calls she is ''better'' enough to talk to him... AND she is 26 amd I dont understand this one ALL SHE WATCHES IS DISNEY CHANNEL.......... at 26. Can anyone tell me what the problem is in that picture? I am so ready to move out! I cant wait to have a different roommate. She is F*&%ing retarded. And she is pressuring her bf into getting engaged. Poor fella! 
But what pisses me off the most is that she has a dog that is a 5 year old lab and I have a 1.5 year old cat..... my cat grew up with dogs but this dog is stupid. He tries to pounce on my cat and the dog is 50+ lbs my cat is maybe 8lbs. Growling and Hissing isnt a good sign... When I yell at the dog to get away from the cat my roommate yells at me that there ''playing'' Im so F*#@ing pissed I know that the cat isnt playing.

Other then that Im doing well but Im jsut so ready to get out of this house! Im tired of the bullshit with the roommate. One day Im just gunna snap and shes gunna get it full force! I will kep ya informed with that!
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April 9th, 2010

Apr 09, 2010

Im finally moved in and able to finally blog again! YAY... Well I am loving my condo and I am starting to not hate the 3rd floor so much lol. I have almost everything major moved up! Note to self hire movers! Of course I didnt move my furinature up the 2 flights of stairs but I did feel bad for the boys that did. I have to say that I love my job its great my boss is AMAZING!!!! Oh by the way everyone I met Bill Murray (yes from caddyshack!) It was awesome and I got his signature. I think that my weight loss is going well. Our goal was to loss 4 lbs this month and do a new activity that we have never done before... My activities was playing real tennis (i wasnt very good) and I go up the stairs at least 2 times a day and there are 2 flights a piece..... My highest was 14 times in a day and there are 40 stairs per trip (yes I have counted) Yes you calculated that reight thats 560 stairs in a day!!!! Skinny here I come!
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March 8th, 2010

Mar 08, 2010

Ok Lets catch everyone up on whats new...... Well since last time I have found a place to live a GORGEOUS one and on the 3rd floor.... You know what that means CARDIO!!!!! Im just excited to move and start my new life. Other then that I have found a girl thru here that is moving to Jaxville which is like 30 mins away and she is new to the area as I am and shes a BANDSTER!!! YAY! Im so excited to have a new band buddy! Im hoping that we become good support for each other.
Now to things that havent gone so well since last time.... This is partly good partly bad. I found a part time gig with my mom parking cars for a local festival/fair in my home town. Its 11 days long and lots of running around! BUT this is the downside.... I havent been getting all my protein (almost all) but I have been eating a lot more carbs then normal! I really need a fill and I know that thats half of the problem. The thing Im worried about is if I gain weight this month when I go in for my drs appointment and support group! I hope I dont! But I fear that I will.
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About Me
Plant City, FL
Location
40.6
BMI
Surgery
12/22/2009
Surgery Date
Aug 31, 2009
Member Since

Friends 40

Latest Blog 14

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