wow ..

Oct 28, 2009

i havent written in here in a lonnnnnnnnnnnnng time :)

things have been fabulous! i cannot believe i am almost 7 months post op! i didnt think id make it past the first week. i remember talking to my friend who had surgery 5 years ago, asking her if it gets better then this because this isnt what i signed up for! hahaha dont be discouraged newbies, i am stubborn and didnt listen to anybody who said 'buckle up girl, your in for one hell of a ride!"

so as of today i am 138 pounds down from 350. its so crazy and insane to me! 

ive only had one complication- 2 intestinal hernias. easy fix. out of the hospital in 2 days, the dr said its common around month 6.

i havent measured this week yet, but last time i did i was about 48 inches lost from when i had my surgery 3/30/09

it all hasnt hit me yet. i can shop in normal stores now. i was in the mall the other day trying on jeans and the sales girl got talking wtih me and she didnt belive me i was ever heavier then i am now! she was like nuh uh! i kinda giggled it off. i didnt know how to react to a comment like that.

i cant even remember the last time i was ever EVER 214 pounds, let alone wear a size 14! sometimes its like my worlds turned upside down.

i see my mom in 2 weeks. i havent seen her since july. i just did the calculations and that was around 50 pounds ago. her jaws going to drop to the floor. :D i keep meeting up with my sister on webcam and shes already yelling at me to stop it. im getting to small. but to me i dont think im smaller at all and think shes just crazy.

some days i still feel mentally i am 350 pounds. other days im confident and walk around all diva in shit like my shit doesnt stink.

i just keep repeatedly saying the past few months 'wls is the biggest mindfuck, i never expected'. its so so so true. and maybe its only certain cases. but theres been many times over the past 7 months where my brain has gone to some darrk dark places, i thought i was done with in my life, when i thought i over come depression. i understand why they ask some things now during your psych evaluation.
if i didnt have the strong relationship i do with my boyfriend, i dont know where i would be. i tell everybody i talk to if they are pre-op,  make sure you have a strong big support system before surgery. i am so so lucky to have my family and my boyfriend. the bf from the beginining of all this has just been there every step of the way. he reminded me (and still does!) of the do's and dont's if i slip up, he cooks heathier meals,  hes just all around awesome. (and has dropped 20 pounds himself in the past 7months!!)
the emotional drop weight fast stage of this journey wasnt fun at all. i almost left him. im so so glad i got sense from somewhere NOT TO. i think i would be regretting it for a very long time if i did.
i moved 1400 miles away from my family about 3 1/2 months after my surgery. ive never lived that far away from home in my whole entire life. so to be going thru being fresh faced post op and moving and adjusting to a new lifestyle, new work enviroment and all that jazz, was not the best experiance ever. if i could do it over again, i would have waited to move w/ my bf. but no regrets right? (so pre-oppies out there if your thinking of making a crazy plunge like i did and can wait, id wait.)

im not sure what else i wanted to talk about here. but i wont wait as long as i did last time to update this thing :)

<3 <3

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