Where did the time go?

Feb 18, 2014

So i didn't post on my 6 year Surgiversary!

Naughty me. 2013 wasn't a particulary awesome year for me and it began with particularly trying times which resulted in me doing what i do best. Turning to food and not taking care of myself. At my lowest in 2012 i had see the scale dip to 175. By the time summer of 2013 was rearing it's head i was looking at 215. I had let myself backslide tremendously. Knowing that i was going to have to face my surgeon's yearly visit as well as finally realizing i wasn't doing myself any favours saw me push myself back into a routine of healthier eating and regular exercise. I"m still not at that low point but am now hovering around 185. Much better in many respects.

Regular exercise is still something i do not enjoy and i'm not sure i ever will, but i appreciate the results the hard work gets me (hard work for me anyway) I still have mental goals of where i'd like to be, but what reality gives me remains to be seen. I hope 2014 will see me maintaining the work i've been putting into my body, and not letting my emotions and outside factors rule how i treat myself.

At 6 years out (i still can't believe it's been that long) i now have people in my circle of friends that have never known me as anything but what i am, and when they see older pictures of me it always results in a lot of questions as well as explainations, it's so strange to me that someone doesn't see me as, or know me as the fat girl i once was. I still don't regret the decision to have the surgery. I don't have the finances for or desire to go into debt for plastics. although every time i see my. body i can't help wonder what it would look like without the remains of my former self. I didn't officially take 6 year photos but i have photos taken from around the date that will have to do. I hope 2014 will see me reach a point where i'm satisfied with where i've gotten and i can stop seeing my body as a work in progress that i need to change and just as the body i'm living with.

Til the next time

6 years front 6 years side

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