To the Lady I told to Fuck Off!
May 29, 2017
You know the Little Old Lady who isn't so little or so old? She's the one who believes with every moral and righteous fiber of her body that she's a good, helpful, considerate woman? When in reality she's a nuisance, know it all, gossip mongering busy-body too busy living off the system to actually get a life. Yeah, that's the one. Well after her 'well meaning' attempts to 'help' me today I finally told her to 'Just Fuck the Hell Off!'
Now of course I'm writing about it because I'm feeling guilty or ashamed or whatever it is one feels when the pain of surgery, the drug induced fatigue and emotional vulnerability all collide into that one perfect (storm) moment. That moment when you've been out of the house for the first time to get more supplies (namely children's tylenol) for your recovery and you're in the lobby of your apartment building cursing the fact someone has one of the elevators 'in-servce' for moving and... there she is.
She is waiting for the elevator too. She sees you in your wheelchair and instantly decides you need help because, of course, you've never managed to do anything on your own EVER in your lifetime. The one elevator arrives, doors open and even though we both want to go UP, she gets on knowing it is going down. She joins the other woman who is going down to the laundry room.
"Well aren't you coming?"
"Ah, No, I'm going up so I'll wait for it to come back."
"Well you never know" As she reaches for the 'door open' button which I interpret to mean that there may be more folks downstairs waiting and I'll not have room to get on when it returns.
"NO, I do not want to have to back out of the elevator to let the other woman out! Go ahead." (Duh! I have a chair, I can wait my turn)
Eventually she gets the right buttons pushed to close the door. They go down and back up. Both women are still in the fucking elevator. So I'm like, 'Whatever' and get on.
I am now between both women and the car door and there are two floors already lit, one above and one below my own. Somewhere in the midst of the scintillating conversation between the first and fourth floors I mentioned I'd just had major surgery and was in pain and looking forward to getting back to the apartment.
We stop at the first lit floor and the woman doesn't want to 'bother me' so instead tries to squeeze her way past me to the door. I don't realize this because there's no way she or anyone other than a small child could do it. So of course as I start backing out I get snagged (hence reinforcing the FACT I needed her help in the first place).
Why she'd be squeezing to get out when it wasn't her floor and the other lady had her laundry basket with her AND enough common sense to know she'd have to wait for me to move first I'll never know.
But now the other woman is so confused about what the hell is going on that she freezes or fails to realize this is her floor. Her hesitation allowed the door to start to close before she gets off. MizBusyBody does something to hold the door open but then let's it go as soon as the other woman is out of the car... I get a mashed as the door closes on me while I'm rolling back in.
Both women have gotten off, I don't know what the hell just happened but then just as the door closes I hear her say "And that's the thanks you get for helping someone out"
I lost it. I called out good and loud, "Oh lady Just FUCK the Hell OFF!"
Moral of this story, if you want to help someone out, just ask if there is something you can do and stop assuming we're all as idiotic, stupid and helpless as you are!