Winner?

Aug 06, 2009

Last Thrusday I was the winner of the Lay Off Lottery.  I'm moving through the loss process.  I'm hurt, I'm relieved, I'm hurt, I'm scared, I'm a little lost.  The good news I've been back to exercising more regularly.  About 1 1/2 hours to 2 hours a day.  My body is feeling it.  Its a good thing because the pain almost distracts me from whats going on in my head.  I guess its time to work off the 20lbs I've gained over the last few months.  God has a plan for me who knows what it might be.  Who knows maybe its just time to drop the weight in time to gain the weight of a new baby.  We are working on it with no luck yet but soon I just know it!

I'm still working on my binge eating.  I so wish there was a tool to fix my brain the way the band has fixed my belly.  I hate that I have learned how to eat around my band but I'm still better off than I was what just over two years ago.  I know there will be freedom in my head someday.  I just have to learn to replace those messages that play in my head with message that make things better not worse.  Yes being laid off has not made it any better but at least I'm working out and back into the routine of exercising.

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