Andria A.

Send Message

Block

Add Friend

Sep 14, 2010

Apr 30, 2010

Ok so I finally got the call today to set a date for my surgery! FINALLY! So 6 weeks from today, on 6/15/2010, I will be getting sleeved! I have jumped through so many damn hoops and complied with so much crap over the past almost 2 years, but now the end of the craziness is near! I am happy and excited! I hoped the date would be sooner, but I know these weeks will pass so fast... well, I just wanted to let everyone know because I was just so daggone frustrated and sad during my last 2 posts. I'm still missing my godmom, still so sad that she wasnt here to celebrate with me, but I know she is smiling down on me from a better place, where she isnt sick anymore.. I love you Mrs.Ann I miss you!

Apr 14, 2010

Ok so after I contacted Kaiser and requested a different surgeon, my original surgeon's nurse called me and was asking why I hadn't followed up and what was wrong, and all this crap... I told her that I was frustrated and tired of jumping through all these damn extra hoops on top of what my insurance company wants.... long story short she set me up with an appointment to see the actual surgeon for surgery clearance, NOT the damn NUT that had been constantly telling me that I had to lose the 13lbs that I gained PLUS 10-15lbs more. I told her that I had already lost the first 9 of the 13 and she said that is fine and scheduled me in for an appointment with the doc. So I went in to see the surgeon on 4/7 and got clearance from the him for my sleeve. The papers were submitted that day for the auth for surgery time and a date... so now all I am doing is waiting for a date. Normally this would be super exciting, but its bittersweet because my godmother, Mrs.Ann, who has been sick for a while took a drastic turn for the worst and while she was having a procedure done to correct a racing heart rate, she apparently picked up an infection and became septic within a few hours. She slipped into a coma and they placed her on a feeding tube and ventilator, they also tried to put her on dialysis to clean her blood of the infection and reduce the workload on her kidneys. Dialysis failed numerous times and she passed away on Monday, April 12,2010 at 11:20am. She was the most important and influential person in my life besides my children and I am torn to pieces about her death. I just cant believe I lost her, as she was like a mother to me, helped raise me my entire life, since birth. I have talked to her everyday of my life for 8 years, and now she is gone. I am happy that she is no longer sick and is in heaven with my grandmother, but I love her so much and the selfish human part of me wants her back so bad. I need her! I am hurting so bad right now, but I will find the strength to pay it forward with everything she taught me. She was always the voice of reason and intense encouragement through the absolute hardest times in my life, all while battling her own illness. She was an angel on earth to me and I feel so lost without her. I will be sad for a while, but I have no choice but to press on and live in a way that would've made her and my grandma proud. Please pray for me OH fam. Pray for my comfort and strength to keep moving forward. She lives within me and I will do everything in my power to make sure it shows. Thanks for lending a quick ear fam.

Mar 10, 2010

I cant possibly explain my frustration and please pardon me if I curse as I dont mean to offend anyone, but dammit I gotta vent... OK.... so I havent posted since October because I suck.... ALSO I am still jumping through hoops for this surgeon.... I have done all this preop testing and all the nutrition supplements and all that jazz... I am just pissed because this is headed for the 5th visit with the damn surgeon when I have already completed Kaiser's entire program! So why the fuck do I need to now lose extra weight after meeting Kaiser's goal? Why the program fee of $775? WHY the repeated psych eval? Why the repeated NUT (Surgeon's private) appointments? I should have had my surgery by the end of last year... I mean, I got my approval around Sept 12th! WTF!?!?!?!? So THEN, on top of all the shit, I regained 13 of the damn pounds I lost for Kaiser... So now the damn surgeons office says that I need to lose the 13 lbs back down, but THEN another 10-15 additional lbs and they dont wanna move forward until I lose damn near 30 lbs!!!! If I was able to lose the weight in a damn timely manner and keep that shit off, I wouldnt need surgery now would I?!?!?!? What the FUCK! I am so discouraged by the entire situation, so I have contacted my original NUT at Kaiser who runs the wls program and directly works with the approval committee, and I told her that I am not able to pay the $775 program fee and overall I am not happy with my surgeon. She writes me an email back and said that she was surprised that I waited this long to contact her and that she is not sure that my approval is still good OR if they can refer me to another surgeon,,,, I begged and begged her and since she and I have a pretty good rapport, she agreed to contact the committee and try to get me re-approved and my surgeon changed.... I also have decided to switch my surgery to VSG instead of RNY... Kaiser has recently started covering it and I am going to jump on it! If they dont absolutely HAVE to reroute my intestines then I would prefer not doing so.... but at least with the sleeve if absolutely necessary, I can revise to DS,,, But I really dont intend on that happening.... Guys please keep me in your prayers and lets hope that with the new surgeon this doesnt take 3 more months... My Kaiser NUT said that she should hear back from the committee within a few days! Lets keep our fingers crossed that this turns out for the best.... So in other news, I am separated from my husband that I have been with for 7 years, because I just cant take it anymore...I cant raise him. I dont have any sons and I have been trying to help him to grow up and become responsible with money, kids ect for all 7 of these years,  but his mom just raised him to be totally dependent.... He is economically and financially "poisonous" to me and the girls, I have to file bankruptcy mostly due to his irresponsibility as far as getting and keeping a job.... I am not saying that I am an angel, but DAMN! Theres no reason that I should work all damn day and come home from that damn slave compound called work and the whole house is dirty, homework not done, dinner not even out and thawing, NOTHING! No reason why if he needs a doctors appointment or something like that, I should have to make the appointment, take off work to take him there, talk to the damn doctor for him, AND follow up for whatever reason necessary! Its like that in all aspects of our lives... he is like a bag of wet sand that I am forced to carry around..Not to mention that he is also morbidly obese and has the absolute WORST eating habits ever and refuses to change them at all...Its almost like he is playing the "devils advocate" on purpose! He says he supports my wls decision and wants to lose weight but then continues to eat like a crazyman! I hate to sound so mean, because I LOVE this man and he is a great man, but I cant raise him.... we have tried everything to make it work, and I cant let 7 years turn into 14 he is miserable as well, so he moved out (back to momma) and we are proceeding with the divorce....So thats what has been happening lately in a nutshell....

Oct 27, 2009

Oct 24, 2009

I am just REALLY tired of people and their damn 2 cents. I didnt say "hey I'm having WLS what do you think." You found out and decided to try and bring me down with all of your bull ish..."But what about all the skin?" "You'll never be able to ENJOY eating anything again." "You're gonna be sooo sorry you did that.""Dont you know that "thing" (the pouch) breaks open?" And tons, TONS more! "OMG, you're doing THAT?!?" Yes fool I'm doing "that" and I DIDN'T ask for your input. My damn cousin today when she found out from another family member that I had been approved and that I am really excited, She was like "lose the weight on your own" I was like ok if I could I would, with all the trying I have done and that YOU have WATCHED me do, you should know that there is a VERY small chance of me getting this weight off and keeping it off alone. She was like "well you know theres more than a 70% chance of you gaining it ALL back." I was like where in the hell did you get your stats from darling? And how many people do you know that have had WLS? Knowing a person or 2 that did it and seeing celebs FAIL horribly doesnt exactly qualify you as having done any effin research! I am just pissed and ranting here, I normally try to stay positive and make jokes about stuff... but this really pissed me off because me and this cousin grew up together and she is older than me, I guess I just look up to her and for her to say something that looks as if she knew it would hurt me just sucks...It almost feels like she wants me to continue to be the fat cousin. But I dont need to seek approval from anyone else. My hubby is great and so are my friends. OH I forgot my FAVORITE ONE, from my mother in law...telling my husband, "Just wait until she has that surgery, shes gonna get skinny and not want you anymore, you'll be right back over here living with me." Ok so she has every right to be a smart ass, but OVER and OVER and OVER?!?!? She's gonna end up freaking my hubby out!  But then again this from the same mother in law who told me that his ex girlfriend was just sooooo smart. I'm thinking that she is meaning because she is going for her doctorate at Johns Hopkins University, NO she says that she is soooo damn smart because she left my hubby and went on with her life... WTF?!?!? I just dont understand how you say something like that about someone YOU created. I know it sounds horrid, but If only you knew the whole story you may not think so; but thats another blog for another day and time.. Thanks for listening my OH Fam! ~Tia

P.S. I LOVE MY HUSBAND! LOVE HIM LOVE HIM!

Oct 23, 2009

Ok so I've decided to just pay the program fee and keep it moving. Mainly because even though I could request that Kaiser change the referral to another surgeon, there's no guarantee that they wont have a damn program fee too, OR that they will be as good a surgeon as my current surgeon. Also, the caliber of pre and post op care is something that also makes it worth it. So I'm just gonna do it and not be a cheap skate. (Doesnt mean that I am happy about it)lol. My first preop appointment is on Monday and I am really anxious to go in and find out what they really want me to do before the surgery. I am hoping they dont tell me to lose another 30 pounds beforehand but I would do it if they did ask.  This surgery is just that important to me. I am ready to begin this journey to a new, healthier me. But anywho, in other news, my 7 year old saw it fit to squeeze her little butt cheeks together today so they were dimpled and flat, then tell me " See mommy, this is what now my butt is like yours." All I could do was laugh at her little silly ass. Even though it sucked for my baby to illustrate what my lard butt looks like.. It was still funny to see her do that. THEN here comes my 4 year old and they both are like "look mommy!" I could only shake my head and send them to play. I love my girls, they are the biggest pain I have ever had in my BUTT!! But I love it! Being a mommy is the best thing ever and I cant wait to run and play with them without feeling like I'm going to die after 10 mins. They need a good role model and not a fat parent trying to teach them not to be fat. Until next time my OH fam        -Tia

P.S. I FINALLY HIT 1 ENTIRE MONTH OF NO CIGARETTES! GOOO MEEE!!! MY POCKETS ARE ESPECIALLY HAPPY ABOUT THIS! NOT REALLY EVEN CRAVING ANY EITHER, SO I AM EXCITED!

Oct 21, 2009

Oct 20, 2009

Oct 19, 2009