Andria A.
Spoken like a true fat girl who was always teased...
Oct 20, 2009
I am up at 3:36am and decided to write and get this off my chest. For some reason, I have just felt all along the way that something was going to happen to stop me from having this surgery, as if I dont deserve it or something like that. Like being smaller and quite probably happier and definitely healthier just isnt for me. I constantly push these thoughts out of my head but they only return when there are long pauses in productivity like in my last post. I have decided that I will call the surgeon's office and light fire underneath someone's ass so I can get the ball rolling and stop making myself crazy over here! haha But on a more serious note, I wanted to air that out so it can just remain one of the self esteem issues that I will conquer and so it doesn't turn into self sabotage later on... I am beyond ready and have never wanted something so much in my life! I guess it is bittersweet because of the thoughts... I am sure I will be able to conquer them, I guess all the teasing about being fat all my life and not ever being able to be a regular person did stick with me even though I didnt think they would... I know one thing is for sure, I will lay my life down for my baby girls not to have to go through those things in their lives. Its just so hurtful! I wonder if the people who do it realize the damage they are doing? Well I'm off to bed...Goodnight my OH loves!
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About Me
Baltimore, MD
Location
26.1
BMI
Surgery
06/15/2010
Surgery Date
Sep 23, 2009
Member Since
