Amalia S.
New Year Resolutions
Dec 30, 2010
It's that time of the year again and I've been thinking long and hard about my hopes for 2011. I'm also doing a review of what I have accomplished in 2010. Having the VSG and losing the greatest part of my excess weight was my #1 resolution last year and I'm happy to say that I accomplished it. Perhaps I'm not "the biggest loser" in Obesity Help, having lost "only" 40 kg or almost 90lbs. in 11 months, but considering that my surgeon gave me hopes that I would lose only 20 kg in total from the surgery, since I have mobility problems due to MS, I'm ecstatic with my achevement.
I'm still losing, albeit slowly, and this gives me hope for the next year. My #1 Resolution for 2011 then, is to lose 20 more kg (about 50 lbs.) and reach "normality".
This past month I started walking. Now walking is a huge feat for me since I have been mainly in a wheelchair since 2000. Today I walked (with several rest stops) 0.6 km. YAY!! My #2 resolution for 2011 is to work up to walking 2 km with NO rest stops.
Going down the list my other resolutions have to do with travel and in general living a more active life, things that perhaps I will now be able to do since I've lost so much of the fat that was weighing me down.
I wish for everyone a Very Happy New Year and may all your hopes and desires come true.
6 comments
I'm still losing, albeit slowly, and this gives me hope for the next year. My #1 Resolution for 2011 then, is to lose 20 more kg (about 50 lbs.) and reach "normality".
This past month I started walking. Now walking is a huge feat for me since I have been mainly in a wheelchair since 2000. Today I walked (with several rest stops) 0.6 km. YAY!! My #2 resolution for 2011 is to work up to walking 2 km with NO rest stops.
Going down the list my other resolutions have to do with travel and in general living a more active life, things that perhaps I will now be able to do since I've lost so much of the fat that was weighing me down.
I wish for everyone a Very Happy New Year and may all your hopes and desires come true.
10 months and counting...
Dec 05, 2010
I can't believe it has been 10 months already since my surgery! Does time do weird things lately or is it my imagination? Don't answer that, it's my imagination I know! LOL
Well... I have few encouraging things to post this month because I've been bad, bad, bad... or at least it feels that way. I'm holding steady at the weight I had last month, which may be a feat in itself if you consider that my appetite has increased and so has my stomach size apparently! I did have a couple of NSV's (non-scale victories) this month, however, which made not losing more bearble. Here is one that almost blew me! After a long and painful trip to the dentist I came home HAVING to rush to the bathroom. Without thinking, I pulled off my pants without unbuttoning them!
Now, these were the same jeans I bought this fall - my TIGHT, skinny jeans - that I thought would fit until the big Sales season here in February... and now they are too big!! Waaaaahhhhh! (not really - Yea! - is more like it) I now have to buy new jeans or I can't go out of the house! It seems that my body is readjusting to the new weight and redistributing which is fine by me.
My body distribution seems to be changing too. All the previous times I've lost weight - and they were many, believe me, since I was a yo-yo dieter all my life - I would lose weight around the belly and upper body first and keep the rear end and thunder thighs as a memento until the end.This time the belly is not going so easily but the rear end and thighs have shrunk to unheard-of (for me) proportions. This could be due to my post-menopausal old age but hey, that's fine with me! Seeing a gap between my legs as I walk is worth it!
0 comments
Well... I have few encouraging things to post this month because I've been bad, bad, bad... or at least it feels that way. I'm holding steady at the weight I had last month, which may be a feat in itself if you consider that my appetite has increased and so has my stomach size apparently! I did have a couple of NSV's (non-scale victories) this month, however, which made not losing more bearble. Here is one that almost blew me! After a long and painful trip to the dentist I came home HAVING to rush to the bathroom. Without thinking, I pulled off my pants without unbuttoning them!
Now, these were the same jeans I bought this fall - my TIGHT, skinny jeans - that I thought would fit until the big Sales season here in February... and now they are too big!! Waaaaahhhhh! (not really - Yea! - is more like it) I now have to buy new jeans or I can't go out of the house! It seems that my body is readjusting to the new weight and redistributing which is fine by me.
My body distribution seems to be changing too. All the previous times I've lost weight - and they were many, believe me, since I was a yo-yo dieter all my life - I would lose weight around the belly and upper body first and keep the rear end and thunder thighs as a memento until the end.This time the belly is not going so easily but the rear end and thighs have shrunk to unheard-of (for me) proportions. This could be due to my post-menopausal old age but hey, that's fine with me! Seeing a gap between my legs as I walk is worth it!
The MOTHER of all flus!
Nov 03, 2010
I've been sick for the past 2 weeks with one of the worst flus I have ever had. It caught me by surpise, just as I was getting ready to have my annual flu shot and I've been in bed ever since. It's my first bad flu since surgery last January and after having lost about 85 lbs of weight and I have no idea if the two are related but considering I suffer from MS and given I had my dearly departed mother's first annual memorial just prior to this new adventure with my health, this period has been quite hard on me. On the up side, this flu has resulted in me losing another 10lbs, always a welcome side-effect.
For the first time since I decided to go on this quest for a thinner, healthier "me", I'm confident that I can do this. I know my story won't be one of fast weight loss and miraculous change-overs but simply the fact that it appears to be happenning at a steady rate more or less is miraculous enough for me. It IS a miracle in a way. I've come a long way since this time last year when I couldn't walk 3 steps without pausing to rest and panting hard. This time last year I had lost all hope of ever getting my eating under control. This time last year I was an extremely fat, hopelessly sick woman who had no hope for the future. This time last year I honestly thought I would be following my mom to the grave soon. What a difference a year makes.
Granted, I'm not there yet, nevertheless, I now have the end in sight. I feel that I do have a future now. I'm planning to travel this spring and summer and I'm looking forward to it. Last time I was on an airplane, I couldn't (oh, shame of all shames!) open the table in front of me all the way. I needed an extension for the belt. I haven't tested it yet, but I'm sure that won't ever happen again. It was worth it to get the surgery just for that!
If there is anyone out there still debating on whether they should undergo WLS or not, I'm here to tell you, wait no more! Don't wait as long as I did, do it now! OK, WLS won't solve ALL your problems, but it will solve enough so that you can deal with the rest more confidently. No one knows more about how difficult life is when you are obese than we (the obese and previously obese) do. From apparently insignificant things like buckling up on an airplane to highly significant things, like having good relationships, our weight can make all the difference.
2 comments
For the first time since I decided to go on this quest for a thinner, healthier "me", I'm confident that I can do this. I know my story won't be one of fast weight loss and miraculous change-overs but simply the fact that it appears to be happenning at a steady rate more or less is miraculous enough for me. It IS a miracle in a way. I've come a long way since this time last year when I couldn't walk 3 steps without pausing to rest and panting hard. This time last year I had lost all hope of ever getting my eating under control. This time last year I was an extremely fat, hopelessly sick woman who had no hope for the future. This time last year I honestly thought I would be following my mom to the grave soon. What a difference a year makes.
Granted, I'm not there yet, nevertheless, I now have the end in sight. I feel that I do have a future now. I'm planning to travel this spring and summer and I'm looking forward to it. Last time I was on an airplane, I couldn't (oh, shame of all shames!) open the table in front of me all the way. I needed an extension for the belt. I haven't tested it yet, but I'm sure that won't ever happen again. It was worth it to get the surgery just for that!
If there is anyone out there still debating on whether they should undergo WLS or not, I'm here to tell you, wait no more! Don't wait as long as I did, do it now! OK, WLS won't solve ALL your problems, but it will solve enough so that you can deal with the rest more confidently. No one knows more about how difficult life is when you are obese than we (the obese and previously obese) do. From apparently insignificant things like buckling up on an airplane to highly significant things, like having good relationships, our weight can make all the difference.
That Awkward In-Between Stage
Oct 02, 2010
I went shopping yesterday. I had to, because none of the sweats I wear during the winter on a daily basis fit me an more and its starting to get chilly. For the first time, I let my brother covince me NOT to go to my usual XXXXXL store where I've been shopping for years and NOT to buy brand stuff, since they are expensive and whatever I buy will only be too big in a few months anyway.
My brother is also in the process of losing weight - sans WLS - and his advice sounded reasonable. So off we went to an environment I haven't been in for years and years... the world of "normal people"!
Had I forgotten what "normal people" looked like? It's very likely, we hang out in different worlds. In fact, except for my nieces and nephews I don't think I know anyone under 30 any more. It was a culture shock to see so many young people all at one time. It was a more personal shock to see how SKINNY most people are!
When I was under 30, young people in Greece were just not that skinny. At 70-80 kg (my weight at the time) I was considered almost the norm. Yesterday, I had a hard time spotting ANY females over 55kg! So much for statistics that want our youth to be bordering on obesity. Perhaps they are talking about the under 15 crowd... I don't know.
The second shock came in the dressing room. Like I said, I have not been to a "normal" store in a long time. I don't even know what "normal" clothes look like. The helpful (skinny) sales girl brought me a couple of pairs of sweats that I could have sworn would never fit me, they were so tiny. She said they were the biggest she could find - and graciously (?) added that they looked too small even to her for XL.
To make a long and painful story short, I barely managed to fit into one, while the other was just right. I bought them both thinking that by next month the bigger one might be too big while the smaller one will still fit fine. They were relatively inexpensive so it didn't matter.
But the story doesn't end there. While I was sitting in the dressing room changing I got the first good look at myself since way before I reached the super-obesity levels that finally led me to WLS. Perhaps the lighting was starker than what it is in the XXXXXL dressing rooms. Perhaps it was the contrast with all the skinny people I had just seen. All I know is that suddenly I felt again like that disgustingly fat girl that couldn't find anything to wear, only much, much older.
The thought that popped into my mind was, "damn... I keep losing and losing and I'm as huge as I ever was!" Which is a lie, because 8 months ago, I was TWICE as fat! But that only shows what a sad state I had eaten myself into.
Well, I survived it. I came out with the resolve to continue and even increase my weight loss efforts. I know I will never again be 20 or 30, but it's not youth I envy. It's a small, tight body that fits into "normal" clothes easily. I have earned every gray hair on my head (under the hair color). I don't believe I deserved the layers and layers of fat that surround me. I'm at that most awkward stage. Made a lot of progress but not enough to truly change my self-image.
*Sigh* It's a work in progress.
10 comments
My brother is also in the process of losing weight - sans WLS - and his advice sounded reasonable. So off we went to an environment I haven't been in for years and years... the world of "normal people"!
Had I forgotten what "normal people" looked like? It's very likely, we hang out in different worlds. In fact, except for my nieces and nephews I don't think I know anyone under 30 any more. It was a culture shock to see so many young people all at one time. It was a more personal shock to see how SKINNY most people are!
When I was under 30, young people in Greece were just not that skinny. At 70-80 kg (my weight at the time) I was considered almost the norm. Yesterday, I had a hard time spotting ANY females over 55kg! So much for statistics that want our youth to be bordering on obesity. Perhaps they are talking about the under 15 crowd... I don't know.
The second shock came in the dressing room. Like I said, I have not been to a "normal" store in a long time. I don't even know what "normal" clothes look like. The helpful (skinny) sales girl brought me a couple of pairs of sweats that I could have sworn would never fit me, they were so tiny. She said they were the biggest she could find - and graciously (?) added that they looked too small even to her for XL.
To make a long and painful story short, I barely managed to fit into one, while the other was just right. I bought them both thinking that by next month the bigger one might be too big while the smaller one will still fit fine. They were relatively inexpensive so it didn't matter.
But the story doesn't end there. While I was sitting in the dressing room changing I got the first good look at myself since way before I reached the super-obesity levels that finally led me to WLS. Perhaps the lighting was starker than what it is in the XXXXXL dressing rooms. Perhaps it was the contrast with all the skinny people I had just seen. All I know is that suddenly I felt again like that disgustingly fat girl that couldn't find anything to wear, only much, much older.
The thought that popped into my mind was, "damn... I keep losing and losing and I'm as huge as I ever was!" Which is a lie, because 8 months ago, I was TWICE as fat! But that only shows what a sad state I had eaten myself into.
Well, I survived it. I came out with the resolve to continue and even increase my weight loss efforts. I know I will never again be 20 or 30, but it's not youth I envy. It's a small, tight body that fits into "normal" clothes easily. I have earned every gray hair on my head (under the hair color). I don't believe I deserved the layers and layers of fat that surround me. I'm at that most awkward stage. Made a lot of progress but not enough to truly change my self-image.
*Sigh* It's a work in progress.
Eight months out
Sep 19, 2010
I can't believe it's been eight months already! This voyage began with time flowing slow as molasses for the first 2-3 months, only to trip on its own feet fleeing by during the last 3.
The happy news is that after my 2-month summer stall, I am now losing weight again regularly and satisfactorily. Don't ask me how I did it, I didn't do it. I changed nothing either way, just stuck to my guns! My body just decided all on its own that it could drop a few more pounds.
For those of you who are curious (and stuck on numbers like me), I began at the enormous weight of 130 kg (286 lbs) on a 5'2'' frame on January 26 2010. Today, I weighed at 98 kg (215lbs). Still not a lightweight, but 71 lbs lost, just over 50% of my excess weight is no laughing matter.
The important thing is that my health is improving. I no longer need high blood sugar meds or high cholesterol meds. I feel lighter and more flexible. People are noticing the loss and are full of compliments. Even my sister who has always been my biggest critic noticed and commented on my loss. And she gave me the best compliment I've ever gotten: she said that I'm looking more and more like my mom (God rest her soul). This was important to me, because the consensus until recently was that I look like my dad, and my dad = fat and nasty tempered. Mom on the other hand=petitte, beautiful and loving. It was a heart-warming thought.
I then dared asked her, "do I look normal?" and to my surprise, she answered "yes"!
Looking "normal" (whatever that is) has always been my secret desire. I KNOW that with 60-70 lbs more to go I still look far from "normal", even though I always did carry my weight well. It was a nice thing to hear, however, and I hope it will give me the strength I need to travel the rest of the way to voyage's end!
4 comments
The happy news is that after my 2-month summer stall, I am now losing weight again regularly and satisfactorily. Don't ask me how I did it, I didn't do it. I changed nothing either way, just stuck to my guns! My body just decided all on its own that it could drop a few more pounds.
For those of you who are curious (and stuck on numbers like me), I began at the enormous weight of 130 kg (286 lbs) on a 5'2'' frame on January 26 2010. Today, I weighed at 98 kg (215lbs). Still not a lightweight, but 71 lbs lost, just over 50% of my excess weight is no laughing matter.
The important thing is that my health is improving. I no longer need high blood sugar meds or high cholesterol meds. I feel lighter and more flexible. People are noticing the loss and are full of compliments. Even my sister who has always been my biggest critic noticed and commented on my loss. And she gave me the best compliment I've ever gotten: she said that I'm looking more and more like my mom (God rest her soul). This was important to me, because the consensus until recently was that I look like my dad, and my dad = fat and nasty tempered. Mom on the other hand=petitte, beautiful and loving. It was a heart-warming thought.
I then dared asked her, "do I look normal?" and to my surprise, she answered "yes"!
Looking "normal" (whatever that is) has always been my secret desire. I KNOW that with 60-70 lbs more to go I still look far from "normal", even though I always did carry my weight well. It was a nice thing to hear, however, and I hope it will give me the strength I need to travel the rest of the way to voyage's end!
Halfway there!
Aug 30, 2010
Four days ago I completed my 7th post-surgery month. 7 months and I had still not broken that highly coveted 100kg midway point. I was not very pleased. Then this morning, it finally happened! I got on the scale and it read 99.9kg! I haven't been this weight in 15 years! I had promised myself I'd throw a party when I broke 100kg, so now I'm thinking furiousy what kind of a party I should treat myself with. Not a food party, obviously, but I do need to celebrate. Any suggestions?
10 comments
Bumpety, bumpety, bump summer
Aug 13, 2010
I can't believe it's the middle of August already! It has now been almost 7 months since my surgery and I have lost almost 50% of my exess weight. A little slow, since I should have reached that 50% mark last month but better late than never!
This summer has been unbelievable. I seriously believed that I had reached my weight loss limit last month since I was going through a 2-month stall and even GAINED 2kg. It turned out that it was the cortisone I took for my allergy attack and in the last 2 weeks I lost the 2kg plus 1 more kg to boot. Thank goodness THAT bump is over!
Of course, I had to change some things. I had been slipping, eating a lot more carbs and a lot less protein and not good carbs either! I felt deprived and resentful that I had to adhere to such a restrictive food regimen when after all, I had just made the "ultimate sacrifice" and had cut off 90% of my stomach! Wasn't that enough? I thought.
Apparently, it isn't enough. I am an obese person and my body knows only one thing: how to gain weight. At best, it can remain steady. I've killed any natural reactions my body may have had by a lifetime of yo-yo dieting. Just what did I expect? Miracles?
Well, yes. Deep down I did expect miracles. I was not serious enough. I've been cheating on my sleeve since Day 1, grabbing a bag of potato chips now and then, sneaking in a candy bar every so often... It worked out at the beginning when I was losing a lot of weight, but it caught up with me when the loss slowed down.
I've made some changes. Last month, while on vacation, I tried a diet of almost exclusively fish and a lot of swimming. I reintroduced protein drinks into my diet since I had HATED them and had dropped them. I said goodbye to potato chips, candy and snacks. The result? A 3.5kg loss (7lbs) in the last 2 weeks and I'm hopeful again for the future.
WLS is NOT a miracle cure and weight loss is NOT easy despite the amazing results we see in OH. With WLS we get a tool. That tool can be put on autopilot only for so long. After that, we have to work with it if we want to see results.
After 2 months of a bumpy road with the scale either remaining indifferent to my efforts or even moving the wrong way, I'm back on track. I have been taught a valuable lesson and I hope I will never forget it again.
3 comments
This summer has been unbelievable. I seriously believed that I had reached my weight loss limit last month since I was going through a 2-month stall and even GAINED 2kg. It turned out that it was the cortisone I took for my allergy attack and in the last 2 weeks I lost the 2kg plus 1 more kg to boot. Thank goodness THAT bump is over!
Of course, I had to change some things. I had been slipping, eating a lot more carbs and a lot less protein and not good carbs either! I felt deprived and resentful that I had to adhere to such a restrictive food regimen when after all, I had just made the "ultimate sacrifice" and had cut off 90% of my stomach! Wasn't that enough? I thought.
Apparently, it isn't enough. I am an obese person and my body knows only one thing: how to gain weight. At best, it can remain steady. I've killed any natural reactions my body may have had by a lifetime of yo-yo dieting. Just what did I expect? Miracles?
Well, yes. Deep down I did expect miracles. I was not serious enough. I've been cheating on my sleeve since Day 1, grabbing a bag of potato chips now and then, sneaking in a candy bar every so often... It worked out at the beginning when I was losing a lot of weight, but it caught up with me when the loss slowed down.
I've made some changes. Last month, while on vacation, I tried a diet of almost exclusively fish and a lot of swimming. I reintroduced protein drinks into my diet since I had HATED them and had dropped them. I said goodbye to potato chips, candy and snacks. The result? A 3.5kg loss (7lbs) in the last 2 weeks and I'm hopeful again for the future.
WLS is NOT a miracle cure and weight loss is NOT easy despite the amazing results we see in OH. With WLS we get a tool. That tool can be put on autopilot only for so long. After that, we have to work with it if we want to see results.
After 2 months of a bumpy road with the scale either remaining indifferent to my efforts or even moving the wrong way, I'm back on track. I have been taught a valuable lesson and I hope I will never forget it again.
Disappointed, Frustrated and Dispondent
Jul 04, 2010
What a waste my 5th month was! Not only did I not lose any weight, I GAINED 1.5 kg to boot!
Part of it I can excuse. I can blame the cortisone therapy for doing a number on me. It increased my appetite. It made me gain water weight. But I tried so hard to control it and by the time I had taken my last 'roid pill I had not gained any weight. When the therapy was over, I breathed a sigh of relief. Surely I'd be able to go back to my old routine and start losing again, I thought.
No such thing! I did my 3-day liquids only diet. I followed up by a 3-day carb detox routine. None of that worked. The best I could do those 6 days was to maintain. As soon as I started eating "normally" again (for me), the weight started climbing up and up. And what is my big "sin"? I can't eat proteins. Suddenly, I can't tolerate meats, chicken or any other protein-packed food. I take a couple of bites and throw up. For a while I couldn't tolerate ANY food, except clear broths and light soups and yes, I did take PPI's, double dose! I introduced some carbs slowly because those seemed to sit better for my stomach and I'm now working on the proteins.
You'd think with all this mess I'd be losing a lot of weight, wouldn't you? I thought I would! Instead, the scale is going upwards. Granted, I eat more carbs than I ate the first 4 months, but I struggle to keep my daily caloric intake at the same level approximately or less. I try to eat proteins even if it means they won't stay down. I drink TONS of water and unsweetened green tea. In short, the only thing HAVEN'T tried is to starve myself because - listen to this - I can't! So much for the removal of the gherlin gland that was supposed to leave me hunger-free! It seems that it hasn't worked on me, EVER! I've been hungry from Day#1 of my VSG and I continue to be hungry today.
I'm sooo disappointed and very frustrated. I'm leaving for vacation next week and for the rest of the month. I will be incommunicado, away from computers (and scales!). I plan to feed mostly on fish and to do a lot of swimming over the next 3 weeks. I don't know how this will work for me. If I come back and have gained, that "dispondent" on the title will very much describe how I'll feel.
I don't know, perhaps I'm not meant to ever become a "normal" weight. Perhaps my body likes the fat and my efforts to get rid of it only make it hold on to it more stubbornly. Frankly, I'm tired. I don't want to battle with my body any longer. I don't want to starve, God knows I've done enough of that in my yo-yo dieting life. I don't even want to keep denying myself everything I like to eat for the sake of a dubious future svelte body. This was supposed to be easy! I'm trying to keep my part of the deal... eat healthy, eat less, be more active (hard as the last part is when you are disabled). Why isn't my body keeping its end of the deal?
6 comments
Part of it I can excuse. I can blame the cortisone therapy for doing a number on me. It increased my appetite. It made me gain water weight. But I tried so hard to control it and by the time I had taken my last 'roid pill I had not gained any weight. When the therapy was over, I breathed a sigh of relief. Surely I'd be able to go back to my old routine and start losing again, I thought.
No such thing! I did my 3-day liquids only diet. I followed up by a 3-day carb detox routine. None of that worked. The best I could do those 6 days was to maintain. As soon as I started eating "normally" again (for me), the weight started climbing up and up. And what is my big "sin"? I can't eat proteins. Suddenly, I can't tolerate meats, chicken or any other protein-packed food. I take a couple of bites and throw up. For a while I couldn't tolerate ANY food, except clear broths and light soups and yes, I did take PPI's, double dose! I introduced some carbs slowly because those seemed to sit better for my stomach and I'm now working on the proteins.
You'd think with all this mess I'd be losing a lot of weight, wouldn't you? I thought I would! Instead, the scale is going upwards. Granted, I eat more carbs than I ate the first 4 months, but I struggle to keep my daily caloric intake at the same level approximately or less. I try to eat proteins even if it means they won't stay down. I drink TONS of water and unsweetened green tea. In short, the only thing HAVEN'T tried is to starve myself because - listen to this - I can't! So much for the removal of the gherlin gland that was supposed to leave me hunger-free! It seems that it hasn't worked on me, EVER! I've been hungry from Day#1 of my VSG and I continue to be hungry today.
I'm sooo disappointed and very frustrated. I'm leaving for vacation next week and for the rest of the month. I will be incommunicado, away from computers (and scales!). I plan to feed mostly on fish and to do a lot of swimming over the next 3 weeks. I don't know how this will work for me. If I come back and have gained, that "dispondent" on the title will very much describe how I'll feel.
I don't know, perhaps I'm not meant to ever become a "normal" weight. Perhaps my body likes the fat and my efforts to get rid of it only make it hold on to it more stubbornly. Frankly, I'm tired. I don't want to battle with my body any longer. I don't want to starve, God knows I've done enough of that in my yo-yo dieting life. I don't even want to keep denying myself everything I like to eat for the sake of a dubious future svelte body. This was supposed to be easy! I'm trying to keep my part of the deal... eat healthy, eat less, be more active (hard as the last part is when you are disabled). Why isn't my body keeping its end of the deal?
Danger! Danger! Will Robinson!
Jun 13, 2010
Sorry for the "Lost in Space" title, but I feel as panic-stricken as that poor Robinson's robot right now. The culprit for my panic is of course, the cortisones. Yea, I'm still taking them. Tapering off now, but I still have 6 days to go.
I held off the first 4-5 days. I pretended nothing had changed. I ignored the hunger that gnawed at my innards. I lied to myself that all I really needed was water and I drank and drank until I felt nauseous. Then something "clicked" and I could hold off no more. I was ravenous. I couldn't stop eating. I couldn't even slow down long enough to chew properly! As for my stomach? It was like the surgery had never taken place. Where was that restriction when I needed it? How could my teenie, tiny stomach hold all that food and want more?? Why wasn't I throwing up now when a few days ago a single exta bite had me heaving?
That day was a disaster. The next day was a bit better, tried to regain control, did OK. The third day the nightmare was back and again today. I'm totally out of control and scared to death that I won't be able to regain it. Why oh why did it have to be cortisones? And what am I going to do if everything goes completely out of whack (again) and I end up regaining everything I've lost (again)? I have nothing else to cut off!!
Why do doctors insist on giving obese people such dangrous drugs? I TOLD the doc I had a serious problem with cortisones. I didn't want to take them. I almost walked out of the hospital that day. But the allergy was very bad, I needed help. So I'm taking them. God help me!!
3 comments
I held off the first 4-5 days. I pretended nothing had changed. I ignored the hunger that gnawed at my innards. I lied to myself that all I really needed was water and I drank and drank until I felt nauseous. Then something "clicked" and I could hold off no more. I was ravenous. I couldn't stop eating. I couldn't even slow down long enough to chew properly! As for my stomach? It was like the surgery had never taken place. Where was that restriction when I needed it? How could my teenie, tiny stomach hold all that food and want more?? Why wasn't I throwing up now when a few days ago a single exta bite had me heaving?
That day was a disaster. The next day was a bit better, tried to regain control, did OK. The third day the nightmare was back and again today. I'm totally out of control and scared to death that I won't be able to regain it. Why oh why did it have to be cortisones? And what am I going to do if everything goes completely out of whack (again) and I end up regaining everything I've lost (again)? I have nothing else to cut off!!
Why do doctors insist on giving obese people such dangrous drugs? I TOLD the doc I had a serious problem with cortisones. I didn't want to take them. I almost walked out of the hospital that day. But the allergy was very bad, I needed help. So I'm taking them. God help me!!
Maybe I can do this!
Jun 03, 2010
I woke up rather optimistic today. Now, this is such a rare occasion, I feel it deserves recording! LOL The optimism mostly stems from the fact that for the second time this week my scale showed a weight loss. This was a pleasant surprise, because just yesterday the doctor gave me a cortizone shot since I'd gone into allergic shock from some antibiotics I was taking for a UTI.
My relationship with cortizones is a hate-hate one. I have taken huge amounts of cortizones in my life due to the MS. The first time I took them, and because the doctors did not help me understand the side-effects, I gained 30 kilos that I was never able to get rid of since. This only grew worse as time went on and more treatments were necessary. Now, when I hear the word "cortizone", I run!
Unfortunately, this time it could not be avoided. I turned red, I blew up, the itching was a torture out of hell and my only remedy is cortizone. When my ring felt tight as I was still in bed and I could not take it off, I had a sinking feeling. Ut-oh, I thought, here we go again! Imagine my surprise when I got on the scale and it showed me half a kilo lighter! Hey, I thought... what's going on here?
I'm now almost 26 kg lighter (57 lbs) lighter than when I started this journey. This is my 17th week post-op. 25kg was always a key number for me. Any loss under that I felt I could regain easily, therefore, was not "serious" loss. Over 25 kg in my mixed up mind is "serious" loss!
So... to recap... 26 kg lost since surgery, bloating from allergy, cortizones, a UTI, oh... did I mention complete inability to walk this month from sciatica in my left hip and leg? And still losing! Hey, if I can deal with all that and not faze my weight loss by much, I think I may be able to do this after all!!
9 comments
My relationship with cortizones is a hate-hate one. I have taken huge amounts of cortizones in my life due to the MS. The first time I took them, and because the doctors did not help me understand the side-effects, I gained 30 kilos that I was never able to get rid of since. This only grew worse as time went on and more treatments were necessary. Now, when I hear the word "cortizone", I run!
Unfortunately, this time it could not be avoided. I turned red, I blew up, the itching was a torture out of hell and my only remedy is cortizone. When my ring felt tight as I was still in bed and I could not take it off, I had a sinking feeling. Ut-oh, I thought, here we go again! Imagine my surprise when I got on the scale and it showed me half a kilo lighter! Hey, I thought... what's going on here?
I'm now almost 26 kg lighter (57 lbs) lighter than when I started this journey. This is my 17th week post-op. 25kg was always a key number for me. Any loss under that I felt I could regain easily, therefore, was not "serious" loss. Over 25 kg in my mixed up mind is "serious" loss!
So... to recap... 26 kg lost since surgery, bloating from allergy, cortizones, a UTI, oh... did I mention complete inability to walk this month from sciatica in my left hip and leg? And still losing! Hey, if I can deal with all that and not faze my weight loss by much, I think I may be able to do this after all!!
About Me
Athens,
Location
29.0
BMI
Surgery
01/26/2010
Surgery Date
Dec 13, 2009
Member Since
