Mar 20, 2018
I’ve been writing my thoughts and feelings on paper them blogging them in here cause I’ve been really busy with work so I’m typing in what I have written down. Didn’t want to confuse anyone, lol.
~So, the weekend is over and it’s Monday once again. It’s crazy how weekends just seem to vanish so quickly and it seems to always be Monday and Friday. I did struggle a bit over the weekend which is really making me do a lot of thinking. It’s discouraging to think to myself how I made it through that 3 day fast as easily as I did then struggle so quickly and easily immediately after. I know that I can’t let myself get discouraged though because not only will it not help me, but it’ll just make things that much more difficult for me.
I’m doing ok so far today but it’s getting to be almost time to go home and I’ve had such a crazy, stressful day at work that I’m actually nervous about going home. That’s when I seem to end up losing control of any willpower or positive thinking I have.
~ I am doing really good today. When I got home from work yesterday though, my fear became my reality and I over ate. I didn’t splurge on junk food per se, but just a lot more than I really should have eaten. It was as though I had an endless hole in me that kept craving more and more food. I ended up going to bed early because I knew that the longer I stayed up, the more I’d eat and I couldn’t do that. I went up to bed and as I was laying in my bed, I was praying and trying to wrap myself around the reasoning behind why I can’t control this and keep sabotaging myself like I do. While I laid there my phone made a beepy noise almost like when I get a message so I rolled over to see what it was. It was actually a reminder notification for one of my devotionals that is about weight loss Gods way. I opened it up which led me to a link to a 21 day weight loss God’s Way challenge, which then led me to a Facebook support group for it then another WLS support group based on spirituality. I was like, WOW, something was trying to tell me something and it really made me think A LOT. To make a long story short, I signed up for the challenge which I believe starts in a day or 2, joined the Facebook group and had a really good day today. Now I’m drinking my bedtime tea, going to plan my food for tomorrow, read my devotionals and head to bed. THERE IS HOPE!