Dare I say it?

Apr 14, 2011

Hey Everyone! It's been a long time since I've wrote a blog on here! At least it feels like it! So where am I life wise? First of all I'm living in a dream world life wise! Why you ask? It's all because I feel amazing about myself. Yes this surgery has changed what I look like physically.... but it's also c hanged my whole life! I don't find myself as moody as I was prior, instead I find myself happy to do those small things that use to annoy the crap out of me. It's funny that even though your changing physicaly that you also change emotionally. I'm much more confident in everything I do. I really do mean everything! My job, my workouts, my eating habbits, my social life.
I never want to forget the person that I was, because I AM THAT PERSON! I just changed my outlook on life, my habbits, but that 298lb girl IS STILL ME, she's just a thinner 154 lbs woman with more confidence.

I'm 7 months post op, where am I now? I'm still working out as hard core as I did in the beginning, but it's not because
"I HAVE TO" .... its.... because I WANT TO! I absolutly ENJOY IT! Every single minute of it..... well........there are times where I push myself so hard I feel myself getting mad and wanting to stop, but once I push through and get to my goal I feel like I have climbed mount everest! 
Food wise how am I doing? AMAZING, not all the time, oh trust me not all the time. The way I look at my relationship with food is the exact same way I look at my relationship with God. I'm never going to be perfect, and that's ok, because the goal is to work on it, just like I work on my personal relationship with god, and some things I succeed in and others I need to work on. I feel just like my relationship with God that this will be a life long relationship with food, and having weekly goals will help keep me on track. What's my goal this week? Portion sizes! Yes, I know portion size right? Just because I can only eat a certain amount doesnt mean that I can't over eat! I've realized that and have started working on making sure to stop when enough is enough.

How do I percieve myself? People tell me I'm "tiny"... I disagree, I believe I'm average and still feel like I have some chunk to me, but I know I'm not fat anymore. I have no idea when I went from believing I was still a BIG girl to realizing that I wasn't big, but I was average!?! Reguardless I'm so happy to feel that!  I'm finally in a normal BMI range! You hear that world... I"M IN THE NATIONAL STANDARD!

I actually FEEL ATTRACTIVE! Like people actually want to look at me!
Compliments are still hard for me to take, but It's amazing to get some!

So everyone, this is my life........
A life I wouldn't trade for ANY OTHER....... a life where I'm my achiever of goals.....just put some hard work into it... and I'll get there with time!

3 Comments