DISILLUSIONED.

Apr 25, 2011

The worse thing that could happen right now...

Imagine this; you're done with ALL surgery pre-requisites, you're on the pre-surgery list, and in about two months you'll be on the Optifast diet... SO CLOSE to surgery. Right there! Then you get a phone call.

The hospital where your surgeon is doing your VSG has stopped taking your insurance. Nothing at all can be done. YOUR SURGERY IS CANCELED.   ...I cannot tell you how freaked out I am right now.   I got the call this afternoon, and I am just shocked. Utterly nauseated. Speechless all day; until now. I have a knot in my throat.  

My hope is that SOMEONE somewhere will take my insurance and get me sleeved as I so urgently need. I've had no luck searching online for Doctors in Miami, Florida accepting my insurance (Medicaid Medipass.)  

I really need to vent this right now. Mostly, I really need to believe. I trust in God and I know things sometimes happen for a reason... but I am so scared right now. I mean, what if God has another plan for me that doesn't include my VSG?! I hope that isn't the case. I don't know what I'd do! I'm gonna have to just push forward; my faith holding me up.  

In the meantime... are there any post-ops in South Florida with Medicaid Medipass? Anyone that knows someone?
Anyone that knows anything? Oh my...  

Ah crap...now I'm crying.

UPDATE 4/26/11:
After sifting through the ten Doctors here in Florida... I have unpleasantly discovered that NONE take my insurance.
After careful consideration...ONLY ONE option is available to me: Gastric Bypass (RNY)... the one thing I never considered (because of my family history of anemia and bone problems)...the one  surgery that terrifies me. My only option. I've researched and planned on my VSG for three years! ...Now, it isn't an option for me. Wow.
I swear I have NO idea what to do. ...What would YOU do?

I mean I cannot stay fat and disabled. Maybe I should meet some post-op RNYers for questions etc... Yikes!

Update 4/27/11
Today, the surgeon's office explained that the actual surgeons aren't taking the medicaid. The hospitals DO; but the surgeons don't get paid for their work. I was advised the same thing by the head of admitting at JMH. Basically, the surgeons require cash or regular health insurance for the VSG. There are only two surgeons willing to do my WLS at all; and they only offer the RNY with my insurance. Other than that, I have no other choice. At this point, I'm stuck between RNY or nothing at all.

Whatever it is that has to be done; I'm a warrior, and I'm gonna do it. Just gotta push through... So wish me luck.
 




8 comments

Another one down! Plus, a VSG vs RNY mini rant...

Mar 04, 2011

God it's been a BEAUTIFUL week. The sun is warm [not scorching], the humidity is low, and the best part is it's soooo windy. ::sigh:: I LOVE this weather. I wish Florida would ditch the (super sticky) swamp land humidity FOREVERRRR. ;)

Sooooo ya... anyway... my nutritionist appointment was yesterday. My last surgery pre requisite- DONE! My soap-opera-actor-looking nutritionist (Mr. Emanuelli) was probably tired of his workload- but was accommodating enough, kind of stern; and very informative. It was all relatively painless. I was asked a lot of questions. A lot of information/medical history was put into their system, and the surgery was explained to me once more... this time in a diagram. Yikes! I was also acquainted with the isopure, optifast and the miseries therein lol. I know that weeks on optifast is gonna suck balls, but I'm ready, so bring it! lol
This my sound weird, but I get the feeling that everyone I'm coming in contact with in the surgeon's office wants me to get RNY instead of VSG. They haven't pushed exactly; but "it's the impression that I get" (music tangent) lol. They ask me "which procedure have you decided on again?" I'm like "The Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy" (for the third time) and they reply "Why the VSG?" Then I'm told they're about the same, in a way that makes me think that they're partial to the RNY. This has happened a few times. I can't really explain it, but my intuition is never wrong. Anyway, I really don't think so! RNY is WAY to invasive. It's NOT the same. VSG doesn't do a switcheroo to my intestines and drop my pylorus in a waste basket! GEEZ! I mean, it's obviously a very personal decision and everyone has their reasons... but I have a feeling that RNY just isn't for me. I find it a lot more risky (considering my history) with a higher possibility of long term complications, and just plain frightening in my opinion. I don't want my anemia to get worse and I'm already predisposed to osteoporosis. THOSE are my personal reasons. Geez. Plus, I feel if God wanted that for me; he would've lead me there. You know? Anyway, my nutritionist assures me that if there's anything I need or if I have any questions- I should dial direct. So that's comforting, but I sorta left the office with an immense feeling of anxiety and reluctance that i hadn't felt from my previous visits. I guess it's all part of the WLS journey. Even though my intestines remain intact- the VSG isn't a walk in the park either. My life will never be the same: I'm getting cut up and altered forever. I'm well aware and well informed, but justifiably freaked out.  Eh, it's only a temporary freak out lol. Plus, I'm strong and backed by the most hardcore awesome entity ever- God. ;)
OH! I almost forgot! Right after my appointment they OFFICIALLY put me on the SURGERY WAITING LIST! Woohoo! I think there are like 30 people in front of me but uhh I HOPE to have it by May at least. That would be fantastic! I just wanna get it over with, you know what I mean? Anyway, wish me luck guys and dolls! 
 ...Yeehaw? lol
10 comments

Happy Valentine's Day?

Feb 15, 2011

Okay so, as you guys know- I had a sleep study appointment ordered for February the 14th... so ya, I spent Valentine's night in a sleep lab- hooked up to 30+ wires all over my head, body and face.
I also had chest/abdomen straps that monitor the breathing which were just a little too tight. Nasal plugs too. Ugh.
 
Adding insult to injury, the bed was like a rock and the room was ice cold (I'm prone to cold cause of my anemia.) Yikes! I mean, I thought it was gonna be easy as pie. Just sleep, right? Instead, I barely slept 4 hours and I woke often. What a horrible, uncomfortable experience! I hope I never have to do that again.
Anyway, Sleep Apnea was detected. The technologist also said he observed insomnia and aggressive tossing and turning...he concluded that I'm a pretty violent sleeper. No shit, Sherlock. :/
I couldn't wait to get out of there. I mean, I don't usually complain but I am Queen Cranky when I don't get my sleep! Grrr! lol

Unfortunately, my Psych Evaluation was scheduled for the morning right after the sleep study; February the 15th at 9:30 am. Since, I live over an hour from the Psych office I wasn't able get sleep at all. My old man got out of work at 6:00 AM and drove right over to get me- so he didn't get any sleep either. My poor baby. I'm lucky to have such a supportive man that loves me. Believe me, it doesn't escape me in the slightest...I am very thankful. :)

The Psych evaluation went super smoothly. It took about 20 minutes. Lots of questions, but in the end the doctor deemed me READY FOR SURGERY! Yay! Both birds killed with one stone...

When I got home, I changed my clothes and called my bariatric coordinator. She told me that the NEAREST appointment for a nutritionist is on March 3rd. I felt a little disappointed because I was hoping to get a Feb 22nd date. I'm gonna try to be patient and keep positive no matter what.

The nutritionist is going to cost me $290 for 2 years. $$$! It isn't covered by my state medicaid so it comes out of my shallow (dusty) pocket. lol. Also, UNTIL I finish that initial appointment with my nutritionist- I cannot get on the surgery waiting list. So, who knows if it will be in April after all. :(
I'm just going to do what I have to do and HOPE that I get on the Medicaid Patients Surgery List ASAP.
** In state medicaid, in order to get bariatric surgery- there's a waiting list.**

Waiting is the hardest part. Man, I am SO ready. I am so excited, determined and nervous-rolled into one. Keep me in your prayers, guys.

Here's hoping for my VSG in March/April...and to a new way of life. Cheers!


Ooooh Yeahhh! Raf and I are gonna celebrate our Valentine's Day in rock n roll style! Friday night we're gonna hit the casino, share some champagne, a good medium-well steak, some Social Distortion, and LOTS of kisses! ...That should SO make up for the sleep lab nightmare. ::giggle::

Weeeeeeee :0)
Big hugs for everyone!
Amy Lou

11 comments

The ball is rolling...

Feb 08, 2011

So mid last year, I said "2011 is going to be my year."

I don't remember what I did first. It's as if I was led by winged, biblical figures to my destiny.
For the life of me, how I got on this path is kind of hazy. I just know that God put me on it.
I remember losing my job last year after a debilitating knee injury put me on an extended medical leave... and in crutches.
(Yeah, this probably sounds all too familiar, huh?)

So, there I was... In terrible pain, depressed and broke.
Then one day I had to sit on a cooler to wash my hair in the shower. Oh hell no.
It closely resembled what drug addicts like to call Rock Bottom.
GRRR That was it! I was so vulnerable, so angry and in such darkness. ...Desperate and just FED UP.
I started to harass my local government.
...To be honest, I never thought I'd be given a chance at such a miracle.
I hadn't even seen a doctor in YEARS. I was hurt and friggin hopeless.
God intervened.

After something like 67 days and tedious paperwork, I received a phone call:
I was being pre-approved for disability and medicaid benefits.
What?! ...Really? ::limps for joy:: An open door at last! :)

Months of hospital appointments, legalities, sports medicine surgeons, doctors, nurses, check-ups, pain, fiery hoops, etc.-
I was getting some help from the government in changing my situation. Hooray!

I researched WLS for almost two years before I even became injured...
Suddenly, I'm attending a WLS seminar on November 2010. I thought to myself; there's no turning back for me.
I filled out paperwork. Acquired a Primary Physician. Got some tests run. Met bariatric surgeon (Dr. De La Cruz Munoz.)
Met the bariatric coordinator and got my list of prerequisites. Fraternized with WLS peeps on YouTube. Joined the OH site. Just moving further and further along with fire in my eyes.

...I've been doing a lot of smiling lately. I've got my sleep study on 2/14. My Psych appointment on 2/15. My nutritionist appointment on 2/22. Coordinator says my surgery will be performed April 2011. I still can't believe this is happening. I am so nervous, excited and hopeful. Even though I worry, I feel I am exactly where I'm meant to be.

I've really enjoyed the folks I've met on OH thus far. Such nice folks.
We are kinda in this together. So, I'll keep everyone updated.

I can't wait to heal, jump, dance and skate again. To feel healthy and have better stamina is my primary goal. .
..and to live long and strong.

I remain ever driven, ever determined, and ever hardcore.
;)
 

2 comments

Am I ready for the New Me? ...Yikes!

Feb 07, 2011

I know it's healthier to be of a 'normal' weight; especially in the long run.
...but I mean, I've been the "big, tall doll-faced girl" for as long as I can remember.
At about 6 feet and 359 pounds- I never felt ashamed. I never felt "typical."
Now that my knee is hurt, won't heal properly, and my father died of complications with diabetes-
I find myself quite vulnerable and [actually] terrified of ending up in the same situation.
So, the weight's gotta come off... and so it will... because I'm SO determined.

...but the lingering question remains...
Who will I be when I'm not "Me" anymore?
When the reflection is drastically different and the perception is alterted- WHO will I be then?
(ignore the obvious answer there lol) But really... I feel like Amy Lou will be gone forever.
And I wonder who will take her place. Will friends recognize me? Will people act differently around me?

I'm ready to be stronger and healthier for my future, but I also fear that change. I've been me for so long, I've fought wars being me, and I'm [honestly] gonna miss...ME.


::sigh:: God Speed, I suppose. :)
4 comments

About Me
FL
Location
34.6
BMI
RNY
Surgery
06/28/2011
Surgery Date
Feb 03, 2011
Member Since

Friends 183

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