Amy D.
"The Waiting Game" or "A Rant About Stalls"
Jan 26, 2013
So, I'm stalled. Yep, stuck in a stall since Christmas when I weighed in with a 1.5 lbs. weekly loss at 149.5 lbs. Since then it's been a lovely bouncing sensation around 148 or 149 with a one time trip down to 146.5 which was probably just an anomaly. This is my first really real stall. I've thought before when I didn't lose weight for a week that a stall might be coming but usually it didn't last long enough to qualify so I got to stop worrying pretty quickly. Not this time! This time I'm stuck and it feels like there's no end in sight.
Now, I know that stalls are normal. I understand the reasons for a stall and I even understand the reasons for my stall specifically. Doesn't make it any easier to deal with in my head. I can't help it--I'm scared. I'm scared I'm stuck here. I'm scared I'm stuck here and I'll just throw my hands up and give up and then I'll start gaining. I hate it. I hate that nagging feeling that I think most of us get when we hit a stall that this is the end and our surgery has failed. There's a part of me that just knows I'll be the one to mess it all up. That my stall won't just be a stall, it'll be the end of the losing and the beginning of the creep back up to 272 and misery. That's what's going on in the back of my brain pretty much all day long. It's exhausting. And annoying.
So, what do I do? Well, what I do is try to gain some perspective. I'm technically already a success by my surgeon's standards. I've lost almost all of my excess weight. I could never lose another pound and he'd still put me in the win category. I am only 6, 8, or 9 lbs. (depending on the day or hour I weigh) from my goal weight. And that means that it's going to get harder and slower. I also try to keep in mind that my surgeon does not expect me to get below 140 even though I'm a Shorty McShortypants and "should" weight 125 lbs. I try to keep in mind that I'm old....er and might not be able to weigh 120 something. So feeling like a failure at 149 lbs. is ridiculous and unfair to the effort and hard work I've put forth so far.
That's what I try to think of when I think of this stall being the end.
The other perspective I try to gain is this. Stalls are normal. Stalls are a part of life for anyone who has over 100 lbs. to lose. And there is no reason to think that I will stop losing at 10 months out just because the scale is being uncooperative for a few weeks. I mean really, am I so special that I thought I would escape the stall monster? Really? I knew I thought a lot of myself, but come on! Stalls are a real part of this whole process and probably necessary no matter how much we hate them. I have lost 123 lbs. (give or take) since starting this whole process, 90 of that since surgery. That's pretty dadgum good. I still have a good portion of the honeymoon period left and there is no reason to think that a temporary blip on the scale is the end of the line. I know that one day 149 will most likely be a distant memory on the scale and I'll wonder how I ever thought I'd be stuck there forever. Four weeks or six weeks or even (please, no) eight weeks is nothing in the grand scheme of things, right? Eventually I'll move past this and while my weight loss will likely slow to what feels like a crawl at this point, it is most likely far from over. Most likely.
That's what I try to think of when I want to be positive.
So, I'm going to cross my fingers, keep up with my protein and maybe put some effort into breaking the stall. Cause whining about it doesn't burn as many calories as you would think and I am determined to break through this. Quality calories, quality movement, and a little faith in myself and my surgery and I can break through this and see that scale move again. I can do this.
I can do this.
Wish me luck!
