AmyDee123
This week is killing me
Jul 23, 2015
I hate periods.
I honestly just wish for early menopause every month. And now my weight is tied to everything even more. My food cravings go through the roof. I was an emotional binge eater before the lapband, then I became a situational eater (foodie with a love of all sauces), but my period always had me eating all things bread and sugar for the whole week. My doctor said Atkins foods were ok, and the sugar alcohols gave me problems in the beginning, but now its mild. At least I can use that as a crutch when I am battling shark week. I just hate eating so much fake food. I feel like I am eating something wrong.
Last night I made a unbreaded stuffed chicken cordon blue from barber foods, with a side of sauteed brussels sprouts shavings topped with parmesan cheese. I ate about half of both, total of about 4 ounces of food, then curled up on the couch and cried quietly while watching TV with my husband. When he realized he asked me what was wrong and I said I was upset about how much I had eaten, and I felt fat and gross. After talking I realize I ate a healthy amount. My slow loss is not due to how much I am eating at a time. Its situational. And I have lost a lot, I just have to stop being down on myself. I am still only taking in about 600-700 calories a day, and keeping my carbs below 30. That is what I am supposed to be shooting for and I am hitting it perfectly.
I know my one major downfall is water. I am dehydrated. Badly. Not bad enough to go to the doctor's, but a slight turn would send me there. Every morning I wake up determined to get rehydrated that day, then I go to bed realizing I only got a few glasses of water in. Its tough for me, really tough. And I have irrational fears of drinking too much and stretching out my little pouch. I want to preserve my pouch as much as possible. I want it to stay small for a very long time. I have a bunch of Optifast shakes that I paid for that I am going to drink and use in the next month. I am going to try and make my 3rd month the most productive. 1st month was destroyed by having to be in the hospital for so long and the second surgery. Second month was all 3rd week stall and period it seems (no lie, I will maybe get 1 week of true loss out of the 2nd month), so my 3rd month has to be my honeymoon period. That is not how its supposed to be, but its how I will make it.
