Amy B.
Wow. I suck.
Jan 26, 2009
11 DAYS POST OP---- AND THE WIERD SOCIAL CHANGES THAT LAP BAND
Nov 22, 2008
I'm going through some wierd social challenges that Im sure all banders who went before me have experienced. Suddenly, since I'm still on the post op liquid diet for 4.5 more weeks, I don't know what to do with myself or my friends, socially. Go out to lunch? Nope. Go for dinner to our fave mexican restaurant? No can do. Drinks at the club tonight? Nope, can't do that either... See what I mean? Suddenly I realize how our social lives and culture revolve TOTALLY around food and drink. So I'm finding myself dumbfounded thinking about something to do. The only idea I have is to go to a movie tonight, for example. But then I know I will smell the buttery popcorn and be DYING for some. lol. So that makes me discouraged too. (really bored and sick of the liquid diet ALREADY.) The other idea I had was that we could go window shopping... but that would kind of suck b/c I can't "buy" anything right now. Not only has this economy affected my shopping budget, but lord knows (thankfully) that I won't be the same size long enough (I HOPE) to justify buying anything! So....what's there to do? Perhaps I'm just in a feeling sorry for myself, whiny phase. But don't mistake that for complete GRATITUDE that my insurance covered this experience for me. Incidentally I just got the bill from the hospital that insurance will be handling and it was over $32,000!!!!! That's INSANE and I am blessed to have the procedure over, done with, and paid for. But anyway, back to "things to do for fun"? Any ideas from more experienced banders? It's sad that food, I now realize, rules our lives!
xo-
WHOA, DUDE.....
Nov 20, 2008
5 DAYS POST-OP
Nov 16, 2008
Hi everyone:)
First let me say that the people in this community are amazing. So many of you reached out to me to say you were thinking of and/or praying for me, and to follow up and see how I was doing post op. You are such THOUGHTFUL strangers and it meant the world to me. Thank you!!! I hope I can be as supportive to all of you.
It's 5 days post op, and just for the benefit of everyone reading this (like I did) prior to having lap band surgery themselves, for educational purposes, I will describe what I'm feeling. I'd also welcome any feedback from any current bandsters about whether what I'm feeling is NORMAL b/c Im not sure.
ONe thing is SO true; that every day post op will be remarkably better than the day prior. Each day Im less sore. My incisions aren't bothering me, although I'm still rather sore around the port site. Laying down on my other side is comfortable but sitting, for long, isnt. And I definitely can not sleep or lay on my stomach. It really hurts to do that. Is that normal 5 days post op? Im sure it is.
Also, I feel VERY full. Im allowed to be on "full liquids" now meaning cream soups, skim milk, etc. but also yogurt and applesauce. No other soft or blended food though; just those two things are considered part of my full liquids. Anyway, Im not sure Im eating the amount I'm supposed to be. I feel stuffed all the time and am wondering if it's post-surgical gas in my stomach?? It's a stuffed/painful feeling... Im eating one yogurt or cup of applesauce a day, with maybe a popsicle later in the day, and that'sa bout it. Maybe another 4 oz. of something (broth, soup, applesauce) later in the day sometimes but not always.... and I feel soooo full all day. Also having trouble getting water in. Im nervous b/c (forgive me if this is too much info!) I'm hardly peeing at all! I go a tiny bit in the morning... and when I do the color is so saturated and dark it's obvious im dehydrated. Im making getting in one tall glass of water over the course of a full day. It's hard to drink much more b/c I feel stuffed. Does anyone know how much water we're supposed to be drinking this soon after surgery?
I guess that's my update for now :) Glad the surgery is over. Oh, and I forgot the obvious: I've lost 14 lbs in the past 10 days, since starting my 5 day pre op diet. Amazing.
SURGERY WAS YESTERDAY
Nov 12, 2008
Hi Gang!
Thanks so much for all the well wishes from everyone who has reached out to me. I won't stay here long b/c surgery was yesterday and I'm very sore.... but I'm alive!
I don't feel particularly mobile and I'm pretty achy and just looking forward to it all being overwith. Looking forward to the time when I'm recovered and don't feel so fragile and sore and still. Not so much pain around small sores but pretty sore around port site.
A little out of it... will hammer out a more coherent blog soon. Thanks for everyone's thoughts and prayers!
xo-
SURGERY IS TOMORROW!
Nov 10, 2008
I can't believe it's finally here! It's 7:30pm the night before my surgery. Surprisingly enough, I feel completely indifferent. Very blah. Not nervous at the moment (although I will be tomorrow I'm sure), just very tired and lethargic (presumably from having nothing but clear liquid for 5 days) and really not interested in anything other than going to sleep until it's time to wake up for surgery tomorrow! As soon as I'm able, I'll update here to let all the other soon-to-be banders read my take on what to expect. Praying it's all uneventful and goes perfectly. See you on the other side!!!!
This Pre-Op CLEAR LIQUIDS ONLY diet is AGONY!
Nov 07, 2008
I can't believe my surgery is now only 3 days away. This pre-op diet is making me realize how IMPORTANT food was/is to me. I keep catching myself wanting to eat, and although MANY of the times have been due to real, legitimate hunger, other times were just habit I think. This process really reveals a lot, does it not?!
Earlier today I told a friend I wish I could self medicate with some sleeping pills to hibernate until surgery day so I could stop suffering with these vicious hunger pangs! ;) lol... Dangit!
However, all that said, and all whining aside, I know I will survive, and I know that this journey is going to change my life for the better in SO many ways. I can't wait.
And so it begins!
Nov 05, 2008
I remember being "warned" by other veteran banders that this whole process could be an emotional rollercoaster. I was prepared for that. I just wasn't prepared for it to begin so soon. I've been teary eyed all day as I've thought about so many things.
I think about how this process will change my life. I think about the many years I've spent feeling terrible about myself; hiding from people, and hiding from cameras. I think about the times I was so full of self-loathing and embarassment that I was driven to tears simply by my (now ex) fiance taking my picture; How I demanded that he not do it, because I couldn't stand the sight of what I had become. I think about how that must have made him feel, to see the woman he loved grow into someone so insecure.
I think about how many years I've lost (I'm now 35) to infertility due to polycystic ovarian syndrome, and wonder if I'll still find time (and health) to have children at this point. I think about how badly I want them, and how this surgery can create a new ending, if not a new beginning, in the story of my health.
I think about how my excess weight was permitted to shape who I am on the INSIDE and cause me to grow so much less confident than I once was. I think about the toll that took on my relationship, and how it may have changed the person I once was. I wonder if, in a domino effect, it's what caused the ended engagement that broke my heart recently.
I am so full of emotion anticipating all the changes to come, and even the merely logistical challenges that lie ahead, like the liquid diet that commences tonight. I find it hard to imagine being on clear liquids for the next week, followed by 6 weeks of nothing but CERTAIN (not "all") full liquids. (My surgeon, apparently, is more conservative and strict with his instructions than many others here are.) I wonder if I can do it, but I know I have to.
At the end of the day though, I am so excited and thankful for this opportunity and the relative ease in which I was approved. I'm so much more fortunate than so many people, and so lucky that I have insurance that is covering this procedure.
I'm starting this journey (the pre op diet) at 235 lbs, at 5'5. My bmi is roughly 40, and I'd LOVE to compare notes with other women who started this journey at a similar BMI. I think BMI is often an indicator of how rapidly or slowly one loses weight.
If I can be of support to anyone else here sharing my journey, I'd love to do that as well! I'm a life coach by profession, and as I bare my soul here, and admit that we life coaches don't always have it "all together" ourselves, I offer my ear, my shoulder, or a penpal!
xo-