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 I was just reading my latest blog entries... Wow how life has changed!
Well two weeks after that last entry (jan 2009) I found out I was pregnant. Jennifer was born in late September 2009. Rob was deployed from Mar 09 - Jan 10. He was deployed again in May 11 - Oct 11. Than we moved from NC to KS. He is doing to a year long school for the Army.
I gained 45lbs during my pregnancy with Jenny and only lost 15 of it at delivery. I lost an additional 20lbs over the first year and stopped losing at 160lbs. I haven't really tried all that hard to lose anymore so i really can't complain. Over the last 18+ months I've been eating like a "normal" person and haven't lost nor gained.
I've been lazy though. Being a mother of four and having a newborn, I pretty much stopped exercising. But I started back walking about 5 weeks ago and running 2 weeks ago. Though I look healthy I was out of shape. My heart rate is still higher than I want to during a run, but it is improving fast.
We are living about 45min outside of Kansas City. I've had 4 plastic surgery consults with that many surgeons. And with the help of OH I finally found the plastic surgeon in KC that specializes in reconstructive/massive weight loss plastic surgery. He is Dr. Ponnuru.
The first round of plastics will be a TT, BL and lipo on the inner thighs. Later surgeries are my arms w/ possibly some back lipo or tuck. And then likely my inner thigh, if lipo doesn't get me a result I can live with.
So that is the short condensed update.
I hope you are all enjoying your journeys and loving your results!!

 It has been a long while.... too long.... I am a selfish/bad buddy.

Well, life has been going good health/weight wise. I'm staying steady 150/153 lbs for over 10 months now. Made it through the holidays without a gain!! I'm eating normally, feel normal and often forget I even had the surgery (until I try to over eat, then this awesome stomach of mine reminds me) I LOVE MY POUCH!!
My low blood sugar episodes are doing a lot better. Instead of an almost daily occurrence there will be a day or two every few weeks now where I need to stay on top of getting my snacks in/avoiding too low blood sugar. But they are getting fewer and farther between. So I guess my body is starting to figure this all out.
My low blood pressure is doing a lot better too. I only feel light headed/oooopps feeling while standing on occasion now. It has been a long while since I totally blacked out. I'm very thankful about that!!

I've been thinking about finally taking the plunge and starting plastics. I want to do my neck first. It isn't horrible, but I feel like it makes me look 20-30 years older; KWIM? I have a 60 year old woman's neck not at 33 year olds.... The rest of my loose skin has bounced back better than I thought it would (looks TONS better than it did back in March when I first reached this weight) and is easily concealed with clothing and a good bra of course!     So the neck will come first. I'm thinking about using Dr. Fremont Eaves over in Charlotte. What I've read/researched about him so far I'm impressed with! I just need to find out when having the procedure done is a good time. Soon I hope.

Other parts of my life... We went to DC for New Years, I'll post some pics. We had a lot of fun! It was cold though. The boys are old enough to understand/appreciate the history now. Brian (oldest son) LOVED the museums; he would read everything in each exhibit. Sweet Bailey slept a lot. She was bored most of the time. But she did really like Natural History Museum; seeing all the animals. We got a lot of 'wow!'s and 'what is that?!' from her there. Jason I think was just happy and content with us being all together as a family. He was joyful and helpful and excited about everywhere we went. We really had a great time!

We've been trying to get pregnant for a while now with no luck. This isn't new for us; very OLD hat. And is a little frustrating. But I KNOW without a doubt it'll happen eventually all in God's time. In His perfect time. My 3 children are a huge testament of that! And evidently our 4th will be no different. 

Rob is deploying again. He'll be leaving at the end of March. I'm sad but knew this is what I signed up for when I married him 15 years ago. So I try not to mope/complain about it too much. THANKFULLY I live on post and have a great group of friends who love me. So I won't be lonely or left floundering. And I've done year long deployments before, so I know I can and will survive this. I'm just going to miss him SO much! He is my best friend, the first person I go to for anything. He is my rock. Luckily I have no time to wallow in my self-pity once he leaves. I have 3 kiddos who need me. I keep telling myself, I'll be fine. And I will be. I'll be fine....

I've been peeking around at some blogs (okay a lot of blogs) and am so happy to see so many of you having so much success!!!! But for the few that are struggling for whatever reason here are some (((HUGS)))). I probably should post comments in the blogs but feel like I'm invading peoples little world since I've been MIA so long. But I truly do hope and wish everyone will find happiness and contentment on their journeys!!

I'm almost a year out!!
I'm doing my ‘year out’ update now because I'm going to be on vacation during my actual year anniversary.
I'm at my personal goal of 150 lbs. Well, I jump between 150-154 lbs depending on what time of the month it is, but I've been holding steady in that weight range since mid-March, so over 3 months now. Whooo-hooo!!! 
My diabetes is more than gone. For the past couple months as I've added more carbs in my diet I've noticed an hour or so after those snacks my blood sugar will plummet. I still have my meter from my last pregnancy (had gestational diabetes) and my blood sugar has gotten as low as 56. Not a good thing at all. So, I have to make sure I never have an all carb snack; like a banana. I need to have protein with every snack or meal, otherwise my body confusingly fights my old pre-diabetic state, so my doctor says. He also said it should be temporary, once my body figures out it doesn't need to be fighting the diabetes anymore.
I'm too dealing with low blood pressure. Hopefully only a temporary thing as well......???? Crossing my fingers, hoping it all evens out VERY soon!! These issues I'm dealing with I never came across while researching weight loss surgery. Or maybe I didn't pay attention to it if I did come across it?? But my doctor assures me, it can happen to some people and my body is smart enough to eventually figure it all out. It is still in shock from the rapid weight loss and just needs time.
Other than that.... I really can't complain! I really am feeling great! I can do anything I want to do! If my boys want me to come out and play ball or run around kicking the soccer ball or whatever. I have nothing holding me back! I can do it and I never lose my breath, my joints aren’t killing me, my back isn’t aching from just running 20 feet. We go on our family walks and I feel like I could just keep walking for hours! I feel strong, I feel healthy, I feel 'me' blossoming again!! 
I still can't believe what I see in the mirror, but slowly as the weeks go by my brain is able to comprehend a little bit better how much smaller I really have gotten. I wore a new dress to church this past Sunday that showed more leg then I've showed in years, over 10 years at least. Now it really wasn't that short, it was a knee length dress. I'm a prude I know. But when I saw my reflection in the glass doors of the church, and I saw how skinny my knees were. I almost just stopped and stared and cried! I have sexy knees!! It is hard for me to think of any part of me as sexy. I mean sure I'm thinner, but I'm a deflated balloon! LOL! But darn it I have some sexy knees! Heck I'll even say I have sexy legs, well ignoring my inner thigh anyways. LOL!
I feel free!! That is what I wanted the most out of this besides my health back, just to feel free. To be free to do any physical activity whenever I needed to or wanted to and not be out of breath doing it. Free to buy off the rack at any store I choose. Free to sit in a theater seat or plane seat and not feel I'm pouring over the arm rests. Free to walk down the sidewalk and not feel judged or looked down upon by those I walk past. Free to keep up with my kids and not tire before they do.
How fitting it is for me to celebrate our countries independence the same weekend I celebrate my surgiversary; my own FREEDOM from the old body that was literally killing me.

I am FREE!!! 

I thank my Heavenly Father every day for this second chance and having the opportunity and courage to do it while I am young and still have so much life to live!! 

Happy (Early) Independence Day to you all!! And may God continue to bless you in your journies!!

 

 

 

 

I saw this on the news yesterday. I am a HUGE Tom Hanks fan!! Love the man!! While watching the video (see below for link) on YouTube I noticed the old typewriters in the background and thought to myself, he must collect them. Then reading more about the video I realized this video was originally posted on his MySpace page!?! Tom Hanks has a MySpace page?!?!? Why can't he, I don't know lol! But it just seemed odd to me. Well so of course I checked out his page and what did I find in his interests, Old Manual Typewriters! Didn't know that about him. :o)

Oh, almost forgot the link.

http://www.myspace.com/tomhanks

10 Months! I'm very humble and feel so blessed to have had this surgery!

I am the healthiest I've ever been my whole adult life. I am so much more active as a mother, I sometimes feel guilty for all the time I missed out playing with the boys. But the past is the past and the future looks great!
My husband every week or so will comment how thin I look or occationally he'll comment how a shirt and/or pants really shows my sexy curves! I instantly want to deny the comment, tell him he is just saying things. I don't know why I can't just believe his sincerety. He has never be stingy with his complements in the past. So why would he start now? But... I think about his past (when I was obese) comments... sometimes, I'd get all dressed up, put on the makeup (pretty much fishing for a compliment) and he'd not say a thing. But then there were times, he'd just out of the blue tell me I was beautiful. And I know he meant it then and I could see the love in his eyes when he said it. But his eyes are kind of different when he compliments me now. The love is there of course but also a little extra excitement I guess. I'm not sure how to explain it, but it is just different. Or maybe it is that I'm different and am recieving them differently? Who knows, but I am really enjoying a husband who is proud of his wife.
My youngest boy is slowly forgetting that I was even ever fat. I have pictures of us all over our house, and one day a couple days ago asked him if he remembers me looking like that (a picture of me a year or so before surgery) and he said, no, not really and then hugged me. I told him, "before my surgery you weren't able to put your arms around my waist like you are now." And he just looked up at me confused, or maybe he was just bored with the conversation. hehe! But I like getting the feedback, especially from him and his big brother. They are just so truthful about it all. They don't know or even think to maybe lie to spare my feelings. They're kids telling it like it is and I love hearing their comments. They are very reassuring that what I see in pictures is real. I'm looking forward to the day when I can see me as me.

So this month I lost 1 whole pound! I'm totally happy with it. I'm not even trying to diet or anything. I'm eating normal, normal meals, having 2 or 3 snacks a day now. I feel very happy and content at my current weight. So if I don't make it to 148 lbs right now, oh well! As I understand it, all the years of being MO causes our bones to thicken to helps support the weight, and so our bones weigh more than the average person. Plus, I'm sure (Iike I may have said 100 times already) I have a good 8-15 lbs of extra skin on me. So, I'm pretty sure I'll be seeing the 140s once plastics are done.

I did also lose 2.5 inches, not a whole lot, but still a loss. The most notable are on my neck 1/2 inch and on my waist a 1/2 inch as well. So, still heading in the right direction!

I do still weigh myself every other morning or so, just to keep the weight in check. And it is. It does fluxuate around AF but comes right back down after. I'll probably hold off to taking pictures until either a year out or when I hit 148 lbs, which ever comes first. I'm not too worried about losing, just trying to happily maintain for now, so more than likely year out pictures will be next. 

A side note about TTC, we are almost mid-way through a new cycle. So hopefully for my 11 month post-op post I'll have some good news. Thank you and mucho (((HUGS))) for all of the people who read my profile and send me happy thoughts and prayers. They are GREATLY appreciated. Again, mucho (((HUGS))) to you!!

Well, I'm holding steady still to 151.0, though I feel like maybe a little loss may be coming again soon. I haven't jumped around as much lately the past couple of days (jumping within a pound as opposed to jumping around 2-3 pounds), which is usually a sign for me that I'm going to start losing again. I guess I'll have to wait and see.

My sister sent her friend (someone who has only known me as obese and who I haven't seen since a month or so after surgery) my progression photos from last month. Her friend was amazed and said I looked fabulous! It felt good to hear. I need to hear those kind of comments when I get them, to hopefully help my brain except what it isn't seeing yet.

My SIL had surgery today to remove a fibroid off of her uterus. Her doctors discovered it when they did an early ultrasound for her most recent pregnancy. Sadly the pregnancy ended at 10weeks gestation though. So I guess she is having the fibroid removed before she tries to get pregnant again. The doctor said the pregnancy hormones were making the fibroid grow faster (got up to the size of a small melon). I'm praying she is resting nicely and pain free right now.

I bought a couple of pregnancy books during this past week. Rob tells me, I’m buying the cart before the horse, which I am, but when I get into something, I get into it. I just want to be prepared for when we start officially trying. Which may be sooner rather than later, MAYBE?!?!???? I've been in the low 150s for well over a month and a half. So if we tried next cycle, I'd be really close to having my 3 months of stability???? I don't think my body will be losing much more, soooooo I kind of think (and so does Rob) why wait?

It is very tempting to just go for it. I'm 3 lbs from goal which is more than I'd lose when I get plastic surgery (a few years from now). And I feel GREAT at my current weight/health! So why should a number I just pulled out of the sky a year ago stop me from TTC??..... so......what is stopping me? I guess fear of the flack I'd get from my (new) WLS team. Cause I'm not even a year out yet... HAHA, But I honestly I don’t really even know if they’d care, because I am pretty much done losing and have been stable for a while now. So I’m just assuming I’d get my hand waked for it. 

So why am I letting that fear stop me, when I know I'm healthy. My labs at the end of January were perfect. The labs I had taken in the ER back in March were perfect. And my low-blood pressure is doing great, though I can tell on a day I don't get in enough sodium, but that is easily fixed and then I'm fine. Oh, decisions, decisions..... lol!! 

I’ll keep praying and hopefully get an answer soon! 

I hope you are all doing great! Those on my friends lists, I lurk in your profiles often. I know I should post comments more so you know I'm there riding along with you on your journey, cheering you on!! I’ll try to get better at being less shy about it and post more to you all!! Thank you all so much for all of your support, I absolutely need it and am so thankful you give it freely!! 

“Til next week! 

9 Months Post Op Today!!!

Okay here we go with the numbers:
Last month 155.4 lbs, today 151.8 lbs; so only 3.6 lbs lost. 
I'm very happy though because as least I'm not going the other direction! And I don't feel deprived at ALL. If I want some sweets (like at Easter) I eat it. And I'm satisfied with one or two mini-snickers instead of a whole king size snickers bar. Life is Good!

The shocker I found this morning is that I lost 8 inches!! I'm still shaking my head, only losing 3.6 lbs but 8 inches!! WooWoo!!
I lost another inch off my waist (currently 29in) and 0.75 in off my hips (37in) and even 0.75 off of each of my thighs (19.5in). Oh and I lost 0.5in off of my neck too. These are all places I thought I was done losing at, but I guess not. I also lost on my calf and right above my knee. And on my (blah) belly and around my belly button too. The only body area I didn't lose inches this month was my arms. 8 more inches gone! WOOHOO!!

So just under 4 lbs to reach my goal of 148 lbs. So if I have another month like this last one I should be at goal by my next monthly update!! At goal in 10 months wouldn't be too shabby.

The stuff below is non-WLS related, so if you aren't interested in non-WLS stuff you can stop reading here.  See you next week!

Well, if you haven't guessed it already what "it" is in my latest post; "it" is trying to conceive again. Yeah, Rob and I are going to try and add another miracle to our family!! It is so amazing to actually think of us having 4 children. When Rob and I first got married I always said I wanted 5 children. Rob would say 3. He'd tease me and say, you'll change your mind as soon as we have 2! Well after our baby girl was born, I truly did feel like we were done. I guess I didn't want to push the envelope, so to speak.
With our oldest, I know it was a complete miracle and totally meant to be. The birth mother found out she was pregnant the same week we put in our paperwork for adoption. She went to 2 other adoption agencies not finding the perfect couple for her baby, before she finally came to ours. Our agency gave her 3 packets to look at. Two packets/couples were shown because they matched her interests/requirements and the agency (as we were told later) decided to through in our packet so she'd have the minimum 3 to look at. She said she knew the second she started reading our letter, we were the ones. I get so emotional and chocked up just thinking about it. This time 9 years ago I was just 2 weeks away from finally becoming a mother. I feel so humbled that my Heavenly Father would give me this beautiful experience and admittance into motherhood!!
And with our second son; what a complete shock! We were actually at the very beginning stages of starting the adoption process again. We knew that we needed documentation of TTC (trying to conceive), so in June 2000 I went to my OB/GYN. He gave me an rx for Clomid (a fertility drug that helps you ovulate if you aren't or helps you ovulate more than one egg if you already do). So I filled it, figured we could give it a try. You start taking it on day 5 of your cycle for 5 days. So I was waiting for my period to come. With years of charting and fertility tests I knew I ovulated regularly and my cycles were every 27-29 days. Well, my cycle for July wasn't starting. I figured, hey I'll take a pregnancy test. That has always guaranteed to start my cycle within the next 24 hours in the past. So I take one and SURPRISE SURPRISE I'm pregnant!! We knew at the time his conception was too a miracle, but it wasn't confirmed until we were doing fertility treatments TTC our baby girl until we realized just how much a miracle our seconds son really is!
After about 18mths TTC for our third I started seeing a RE (reproductive endocrinologist). I was put on Clomid for the first two cycles (ovulating 6 eggs and 2 eggs respectively). My third cycle I tried Femera (another anti-estrogen, like Clomid) were I ovulated 3 eggs. Next I moved onto Gonal F injections, were on cycle day 3 I did self abdominal injections to help my body produce more follicles (eggs) for more possible targets. The first cycle with injectables I ovulated 7 eggs and again no pregnancy. So my RE decided it was time for exploratory surgery. I was definitely ovulating, timing intercourse perfectly. Rob's had his sperm tested at least half a dozen times over the years (including with this new RE) with great results. So looking directly at the ovaries, fallopian tubes and uterus to see what is going on was the only logical next step. So late January 2006 I went under the knife and we found out I had 2 large cysts on my fallopian tubes (one on each). They were both fairly big, the biggest (on my right one) was the size of a golf ball. My RE said the cysts were probably kinking the tubes with their weight (making it so the egg and sperm could never meet) and it looked as though the weight of the cysts were also pulling the tubes away from the ovaries. So that when I did ovulate the egg wasn't making it into the tubes but rather just floating off into my abdomen. So now you can understand why our second son's conception was such a miracle!
He said the cyst were probably there at birth (though not that big) and had started to grow once I hit puberty with all those lovely hormones we women experience during our fertile years and by the time we first TTC they were big enough to cause a problem. We (Rob and I and our RE) were shocked at their sizes but relieved to have finally found the answer to all our years of unexplained infertility!
So he snipped those cysts off and took care of some endo on my right ovary and my March 2006 cycle (using Gonal F again) I got pregnant with our baby girl!!
I know I am extremely blessed to have the children that I do. So I have the fear that TTC another one is asking for too much, pushing that envelope so to speak. But we've prayed about it and have gotten the answer to go for it! So in the near future Rob and I will start on another TTC journey.
Even though I know Rob and I feel like it is the absolute right thing to do and that we've gotten the green light from our Heavenly Father I still have fears of the unknown and lost of "what if" questions (and yes I know these fears are not from our Heavenly Father). I guess because of all the years we've failed at TTC, much like all the years of failing lose weight (and keep it off) does to us, I fear that we'll again be TTC for months or even years. Logically I know that our fertility obstacle (those darn cysts) are gone. So we have the same chance as all the other fertile couples out there. And plus now that I'm 125 lbs lighter, that should only help our chances. But I still question, what if the cysts have grown back? what if I have a miscarriage? I don't think I could emotionally handle that. But I continually try to remind myself, Heavenly Father is behind me on this. He got me through all the other TTC attempts, giving me the most precious gifts I could have ever gotten, and he'll get me through this one!
I'm sorry to ramble on and on, on my WLS blog about TTC stuff. But it has weighed heavily on my mind for over a month now and it feels pretty good to finally get it out!! Thanks for reading if you actually got this far ((HUGS))!!

It's Friday again?!? Man time flies by fast!

Nothing too exciting to report. I'm still around 153.6 lbs; 153.8 this morning. I'm trying my hardest to be patient and not let these stalls get to me. 

Rob and I have been discussing some pretty big life changes this week. So needless to say plastics will be put on hold indefinitely. We've talked and prayed and talked and prayed and we both feel it is the right thing to do. I'm too scared to actually say what "it" is out loud here. I guess because of my past experience with "it". (read my introduction above and "my story" below you might be able to guess what "it" is. There is a lot of deep pain and frustration attached to “it” for us. It is scary to even think about going there again. But we've asked and got our answer. With God all things are possible!

I hope you all have a good weekend! ‘til next time! 


PS I might just wait until Sunday (6th) for the next update, so I can do the weekly and monthly at the same time. I might even be brave enough to say "it" out loud next week.

Happy Belated Friday!

The damage this week; I lost 2 lbs the first part of the week (Friday - Friday) and have stayed at 153.6 lbs (+/- 0.4 lbs) since Monday. That seems to be my pattern; staaaaaallllllllllll then lose fast, staaaaallllllll then lose fast. But now that I'm farther out the losses aren't huge anymore. 

Well I guess if I look at it in % of EWL I guess I could still consider them huge. hehe. At the beginning of the month (6th) I needed to lose 7.6 lbs for goal and I lost 2 so far; that is a 26% excess weight loss so far this month. LOL!

I'm feeling pretty comfortable at this weight. I'm curious how much weight will come off with plastics. I've seen anywhere between 7-20 lbs (lurking the plastics forum). I'm thinking closer to 7-10 lbs for me. So if I'm at goal before then, that will give me a good cushion for the bounce back weight.
 
Though...... Vitalady (member here) did say something on a thread the other day that I really liked; and it makes sense too. She basically said, stay on a nutritious daily diet and your body won't feel the need to grow more cilium (those finger type things in our small intestines that grab onto the nutrients and calories). Over time, usually around 18-24 mths, the body will start to grow more cilium (absorbing more calories) to compensate for the bypassed part of the RNY. This is what is thought to cause the bounce back weight. Bounce back meaning you've changed nothing in your daily diet/routine but at about 2-3 years post-op a gain of 10-20 lbs occurs. But Vitalady's theory is if our bodies don't feel deprived of nutrition then it won't need to grow any new cilium. That is another great motivator for me to keep myself on a good nutritious routine!

The boys start spring break this week. Rob (hubby) would like to drive out to Wilmington or something since we really haven't gone anywhere in NC to vacation yet. He still has to work, so it may have to wait until he gets off on Friday. We'll see. I know there is a lot of history here in NC; a lot of historical places we could go visit. I'm a genealogy buff, so history facinates me some. We'll definitely be doing a lot of traveling around the state this summer.

Oh yeah, I found a plastic surgeon in Charlotte, NC that might look promising?...? It is about a 3 hour drive from here, so not too bad. Rob says, well lets go check him out! He's okay with me possibly going to Boston (Dr. Borud, I spoke about a month ago) but if we can find a (just as good) surgeon closer..... that would make things much easier. 
So the Charlotte surgeon's name is Dr. Felmont Eaves. He works at Charlotte Plastic Surgery http://www.charlotteplasticsurgery.com/charlotte_plastic_surgery_procedures.html
And they do Body Contouring after massive weight loss there. Here is his page here on OH http://www.obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/plastic+surgeon+profile+Felmont+Eaves+dbng.html
I'm going to try and contact some of the OH members that used him and get a better feel how the whole experience was. Then I'll see with Rob's work schedule when I could go over to Charlotte and meet with Dr. Eaves. It says on their website that the consultation is complimentry; but not sure if that means it is truly free or if it means they charge me a fee that will be applied to the surgeries later. I haven't found a PS yet that has a truly free consultation. I guess I just need to call and find out.

So that is my week. Getting closer to goal and obsessing about plastics. LOL!
Happy Easter and if spring break is here for you as well, ENJOY!!