Andrea_1972

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Its now the middle of August and hot as hell. Things are always up and down with me. All I can do is keep putting one foot in front of the other.........

I have fallen off the wagon. My depression has reared its ugly dam head. I have hardly been able to move this week. Granted it is only tuesday but still...  I just can not seem to get this shit right. I feel like a horrible mom(my daughter tells me so almost on a daily basis), cant seem to take care of what needs to be done in the house, my marriage is bleh. I have not had this type of episode since late summer. I have no idea what triggered it. I was ok last week. I suck.

I started a food log this week. Trying to make myself accountable for getting my protien and water. I have stalled and the only thing I can think of is that my body thinks it is starving. My back has been killing me for 2 weeks now. Makes it hard to run. I am trying to keep up with it. It SUCKS.  Going to my gen doc to get another refferal for Phy Therapy(again). Oh yeah I am suppossed to start training for this call center job on the 19th of this month. I am not at all jazzed about this job. We will see how it turns out. I have a degree and the only stupid job I can get is a call center job.Oh well, its a start.

By the way my birthday is Tomorrow!

Hey its been a while.
 I got through both of my classes with a solid B in each one. Not my best work but hey I got through them. I have been in a food slump for a couple of weeks now. Is that normal?? I think I am just exhuasted from the holidays. Ok just a few more days and this year is done

Sorry so long since last post. I was busy avoiding my finals! I am experincing a bit of a personal slump. Or maybe its more of  a platueu(spelling). I have made my way back into some of my size 12's. All that running and working out at the Y is paying off. I have still only lost about 3 pounds since after Thanksgiving, if that much. I am still at or about 171 ish. Frustrating. I am not eating as many times as I should be and not drinking enough I think.

Bless us all! Merry Christmas!!

I am still putting off finishing off my final homework. I do not know what my block about those two dam papers that I have to write but I just can't get motivated to do them. I need to get off my butt and get presents wrapped and work on my house. The kids will be home for Xmas for 2 weeks so I will need to get it cleaned now. I am finding now that my "me" time is being spent moving with the wind in my face and my feet slapping the ground. I am not losing any weight and I keep telling myself that it is ok. That I did not have the surgery to lose weight, that I had it so that I could eat. I just have to keep telling myself that. I am worried about my marriage, well I was worried about it before the revision. Now its worse though. It seems as if we are on two different planets. Well I am really just rambling here. I better go no.

Ya know for those ppl who think that having WLS will make everything good I have something to tell you. It does'nt. I love my children so much but right now my daughter is just so mean to me and everyone in the family. I need Super Nanny!!! LOL
I am working on homework right now. I think when I am done I might go run.

What I want to do is go in the kitchen and get the bag of Fritos from dinner last night and eat the whole thing. But I won't because I have managed to stay in control of my food for a while now. Plus I don't think fritos will help me reach my fitness goals. LOL. I did have something good happen yeseterday. I was able to get back into my favorite Old Navy black pants. My butt looks so good in these pants. whoo hoo!

WooHoo!!!!
 I did it! I ran 3 miles. My leg is a bit sore but I am ok. It took me almost an hour. I am so busy this morning trying to get caught up on all my finals. I was so busy getting to know all my new OH friends last week that I blew off my classwork. I went to hubbys Xmas party last night. I ate a small bit and no puking. YEAH ME!!!! Well I am taking the kids to the pool now.

Ok running late this morning. Stopped by McDonalds to get the kids some breakfast before school. Innocently ate the round end of a hashbrown. HOLY CRAP!!!!!! almost immediatly I started chucking it back up. I guess no HB  for me. I wonder if it was from the oiliness of the potatoes?? Oh well they are not so good for me anyway. I was really eating it because I was hungry. It was just a grazing habit. I need to be more aware of what my hands are sticking in my mouth. I am used to puking all the time from the VBG but dam it had been over a month and I was getting used to the idea of no burning throat or sore chest. Lesson learned!

Okay today is just cranky kinda day for me I guess. I have totally blown off my classwork which is not like me at all. I am already sick of winter. I was checking out some prices on plastic surgery OMG@!!!!! how does anyone afford this.