Angela Sharp

Send Message

Block

Add Friend

I am doing awesome on my new pallates board and working out on it everyday.  I still need to learn how to cook so I am not wondering all day what im gunna hav to eat.  my goal was to not have food take up so much time in my life so this doesnt work for me.  i hav a few simple recipes i am going to try.

I went shopping and to the gym this morning as well as cooked lunch and started dinner in the crockpot.  as for the rpotein shake when i went to drink it this morning it was spoiled the one i had at work with me that is.  so im feeling realy good about myself now i think imma hit the pool and celebrate!

the last few days i have been feeling so down and dont wanna eat or make a meal.  i end up snacking on the wrong things and i kno for now i probably will b losing more weight this way bc I am eating less but this is not how i want to lose the weight.  i would rather do this the right way and feel good and b healthy than mope around nibbling on crap and getting skinny!  i want this to be a lifelong change and right now im feeling discouraged.  i also have slipped up on my meds and vitamins which is a contributing factor to my low mood... ugh gym in the morning after meds and a protein shake... if i start the day right i will feel better.  the rest of the day can b spent by the pool which is great and ill put some chicken in the crockpot with green sauce so that i kno i will have a nutritious healthy meal waiting at home... these are my goals for tomorrow lets see how i do!

I crave stability!  I need a schedule and or plan to function but I am having trouble getting myself to that point.  There aren't very many foods I want or crave so I end up snacking throught the day or not eating.  My new goal is to have breakfast lunch and dinner and only those three seperate meals with no snacks... which is wat my surgeon instructed but so many others say u need a snack during the day so maybe I am struggling because I dont have a snack somewhere between those meals.  I need to decide what I am going to eat everyday and a time frame and stickl to it wether I choose to add a snack or not...  What I felt worked the best was a protein shake in the morning around 7am then lunch at 12pm and dinner at 5pm.  I work at 12am so 5pm-12am wen i go to bed seems like an eternity without food so maybe in between there I will allow myself a slice of fruit or other healthy option... This will also b great for my son because wen I am off schedule so is he. 5 year old boys really need a schedule!  As well as 24 year old mothers ... that and naps lol

So in five weeks I have lost 41 lbs (since surgery) and 53 prior to surgery.  Now I have only lost a couple lbs in the last couple weeks and I am not liking the feeling.  I think it's my fear of all the times I started a diet and failed so everytime I get on the scale even when I was losing weight I was scared that the weightloss would stop.  So now that I have hit a plateau so early on I kinda started freaking out.  I am finding comfort in writing down what I eat so that I know I'm eating right.  People tell me things like muscle weighs more than fat, it's because I lost so much so fast my body needs to adjust and the weightloss will come in spurts.  I guess I'm programmed not to hear these things because there is still that voice telling me I'm failing.  I am trying to tell myself to believe in this process and I will be successful! 

today was c's graduation and it was amazng.  pizza hut is cheap so i decided to treat everyone after but they had noooothing at their salad bar i could eat!  but i managed to find a few things to nibble on.  i took over feeding my 7 month old neice which kept my mind off all the yummy stuff crust pizza lol  but it felt good to come home and clean up and not b in a food coma like i would have months ago.  although its been a struggle i am beginning to enjoy the little things and realizing wat i missed out on for food!  ooh and my scars r like nothing!  i think imma take some pics and post em because the laparscopic is amazing!  ugh off to work so i can go to bed!  then swimming and folding laundry on the agenda for tomorrow.

okay so I did a lot f hard wrk before surgery and i guess forgot that after surgery there would b so much more work to come.  I hit a road block when iz had to add the calcium doses to my daily regimen,. it is so hard to get all those dwn.  i now have ordered some creamy bites calcium s it will b easier because what i have realized is that i need to put out the extra money to get the products I need in order to be successful.  i'm sure in the long run i will save money on all the food im n0t eating.  i am starting the summer semester and this is going to add more stress but i seem to do better wen im busy.  atleast that is wat i will b telling myself.  i am going to lay out by the pool and swim today the sun always makes u feel better plus it will keep the monster busy.  just throw a life jacket on him and im good haha!

Ok so a few things I am disappointed in myself about.  First today was my last day before going back to work so i decided to sleep in rather than go to my two week post op appt!  I feel bad about  that but moving on I havent been doing well with my protein shakes and last night I had hot and sour soup instead of a protein shake.  The soup itself is good for my liquid diet but I shouldn't have sipped on that then the protein shake.  I feel like it was a way to get away with eating more with the excuse that it was less calories than the protein shake.  SO I will try my best not to do that again... i say try because you can never say never in these circumstances.  So now that's over I am so psyched at how much weight I've lost in less then two weeks.  it's amazing and I am in disbelief.  I feel the weightloss in my clothes and in the mirror a little but I still feel it doesn't show as much as it should but that is probably just in my head.  it's a funny thing though my outlook on things has improved even music sounds better.  Today I have to go buy a new bat for my five year old because we lost the old one and he's been practicing with a stick.  I am so proud of him and his first T-ball practice is tomorrow.  I also got a letter from his school and his pre-school graduation is the 22nd... hope I don't cry... haha I never thought I'd b "that mom" but I think I totally am.  I was on the verge of tears when he gave me a rose on mothers day when I picked him up from school.  Now I have to go and reschedule my post op appt... *sigh*

Feeling muuuuch better... got tired of waiting to get an appt. for removing the catheter so I removed it myself.  It was pretty easy and i used instructions I found on the web.  Not the smartest idea but it was real easy and I was so done with that thing!  So now I can pee again!  Now if I could do a number two then things would really be great.  It's hard to pass the kitchen and remember that I am not going in there to eat or grabbing a snack...  I am glad that I did the meal plan before because that makes it easier. 

So I havent felt much like writing since surgery.  I only had to stay in the hospital for one day but I had to go to the ER because I wasn't urinating and it had been like 12 hours sinc they removed thed first cathedor.  to make a long story short they put in another cathetor i could take home.  due to the holiday i cant get it out until tomorrow so these last few days have been tough.  its so uncomfortable and discoiuraging.  i am trying to stay positive and telling myself this is all worth it... the pain med that is making me a zombie isnt helping either.  i am optimistic tomorrow will b a good day since i can finally get this thing out!!!