annabellapeekin

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I've come to the point where I've gone down about 4 sizes and I had to go get some clothes that weren't falling off me. I was pleasantly surprised to find that I could shop in the "regular" sizes departments - even petites. It was such an enjoyable experience. I tried on PXL tops only to find that I really needed PL. I had to make myself not go crazy on clothes as what I bought likely will be too big by Christmas. I am loving my sleeve!

I also find that I'm always amazed at how little I eat. I go into a meal thinking I'm going to be able to eat all of this only to be able to eat 1/4 of it. AMAZING!

Got on the scale is morning and I've dropped 3 pounds since last Monday. I'm a happy camper.

Yes, I'm still counting the weeks. It's been a hard week for me emotionally. I have been losing weight fairly rapidly and I don't think my brain or emotions are able to keep up. I am getting tons of compliments and people who are just plain shocked at my transformation so far and I can tell I'm getting self conscious. People are talking about how I'm half of who I was (really? I"ve only lost 44 pounds for heaven's sake) and how I'm fading away or that I'm tiny. I just laugh and say thank you but inside I kinda cringe. I know I'm nuts and I should be basking in the attention but I'm pretty sure I got fat to hide out from the world. So, how does one go about dealing w/ this? This is what the next stage of my journey needs to be about.

I'm a little over 3 weeks out and it's been an interesting ride so far. I was losing steadily and then boom...no more weight loss. I was a week late for my period so I'm hoping I'm just bloated and that it will drop once I'm done. I know in my head that I am bound to hit stalls but it sure is frustrating to have them so soon. I am also noticing that I'm getting hungry faster now then before. I assume it's because the swelling is going down. I still have 2 more weeks before I can start trying solids and the full liquids just aren't filling me up like before. I will stick to the plan my doctor gave me but boy will I be happy when I can have something besides soup to eat.

My spirits are good. My incisions have lost their scabs and look nice and pink and healthy. I'm not sure what I've lost because I won't get on a scale until my period is done and over. I have lost inches though and I'm happy about that.

It's strange how certain people in my life want to know everything about my surgery and how I look. Others completely ignore the whole thing. They never mention a word about the surgery or how different my face looks already. I'm very blessed that the majority of people in my life are very happy for me and wish me nothing but the best.

So...here I sit at exactly 2 weeks out from the beginning of my pre-op diet. Saturday I decided to go to Mom's to weigh myself because people are telling me I look like I've lost weight. Well guess what? I lost a whopping 5 pounds. I was so disappointed and discouraged. After I had a meltdown and a period of being pissed, I decided to find something to be positive about. The 1st thing that occurred to me was that I haven't had any reflux episodes - no waking up at night choking on bile! The 2nd thing I noticed was that my face has all but completely cleared up. I noticed one other time when I quit eating white flour and sugar that my face cleared up. Wonder if I have some allergies?

So the countdown is one and I'm just days away from surgery. I went to my sleeve support group yesterday and as usual left there feeling very optimisitc about my future. Not all that scared - yet *lol* I'm sure I'll have to be peeled from the ceiling come Thursday morning.

It's 3:32 pm on Thursday, August 14 and this time next week I should be in recovery or maybe even my room. I can't believe how fast my surgery date is approaching. I feel excited, nervous, maybe even a little bit of disbelief that it is actually going to happen. I have wanted this for so long and it's about to be a reality. What will my new life be like? What will I be like when it's all said and done? I'm hoping that I will have to courage to make new friends, maybe even date at some point. I have isolated myself so much that I've become very lonely.

I have the best family anyone could ask for and I'm so thankful for their support. I coudn't do this w/out them. My big brother, David, gave up his bonus to pay for my surgery and I will be forever grateful to him for giving me a 2nd chance at life.

The countdown is on