AnneMR12
I imagine my story is familiar to most people around this town. I've been overweight since the age of 5, and now that I am approaching 25, I'm certain it's time to put an end to the struggle and begin fighting the battle.
I've always appeared to be a very confident, outgoing individual who didn't allow the extra poundage to inhibit all the wonderful things life has to offer. I got along well in grade school and didn't have issues making friends. In highschool, I managed to lose about 70lbs and played soccer and track & field. I went on to college and got my ass kicked quite a bit playing rugby. And throughout, I was typically the heaviest person on the team, but also the most dedicated and the least likely to allow my weight to hold me back. My approach to life has been just the same. I've dated just as much as my thin, gorgeous friends; travleled throughout Western Europe; gained career success right out of college, and so on.
So, my "story," so to speak, isn't filled with emotional scars and mental breakdowns. I'm incredibly fortunate in this respect. All along, I've felt like a thin person trapped in an obese body.
The turning point for me came this year, when I came to realize that I'm no longer carrying extra baggage, but rather an obesity card. My larger-than-life figure began controlling my life. Restaurants were selected based upon how wide and sturdy the chairs are and whether the ranch dressing was up to par. Excuses were conjured up when asked to go to Six Flags to go on a roller-coaster spree--as if this ass is fitting in those small, plastic seats! My low-discount travel email alerts were being ignored, as the fear and embarrassment associated with needing a seat belt extension or, God forbid, being required to purchase two airplane seats surpressed my desire to travel.
Living right outside of Philadelphia and being accustomed to going out in the city a few times a week meant that I had to keep up with my appearance. Fat or thin, anyone can look good with the right clothes. Of course, the clothes that once fit my body and looked pretty OK began looking and feeling tighter, which led to feeling very uncomfortable, both mentally and physically. My social mindset was dwindling down to that of a home-body, where sweats and t-shirts were OK and I wouldn't feel the anxiety over possible quick glances and hushed chatter that were all too forthcoming in being focused on my weight.
When you wake up and literally roll out of bed, you have to know that it's time to do something about all....THIS. For the first time, ever, I'm screaming on the inside, begging to be rid of this body. I feel trapped. Like I just want to rip it off and step out of it. And I think to myself sometimes, "This must be a joke. I'm seriously huge. How in the hell did I get so big?" I'm convinced that most heavy people have no idea how heavy they are. When I'm in a store and I pass the dreaded full-length mirror, I've had to look twice. My self-image is no where near the reality of how I look, which is great for my self-esteem and over-confident nature, but not so great for that mental mechanism that is just waiting to be turned on full speed and made into a fat-burning machine.
This is MY life. There's so much living to do. There's so many adventures to be had. And in this body, I'm no going anywhere. So, it's time to roll up my sleeves, have the surgery, and begin living the life that was meant for me.
As for the stats of who I am, I'm from a small town in central PA where 4H and state fairs were all the rage. I went to Kutztown University and had the time of my life, and then moved down to the Philly area to see what the real world was all about and form my little niche around it. I work in Plymouth Meeting as an account manager where I spend my day working with a high-profile banking client by implementing marketing programs for credit cards. At night and on the weekends, I get my fill of primetime TV, dabble in cooking, play my guitar, meet up with friends, check out live music, grab a cup of coffee, dine out like it's my job, and partake in late night debauchery in the city. Once I have the surgery, I hope to add training for a triathlon to the mix, and saving my pennies to hit up some cruises and check out a few far off places.
I look forward to the many journies ahead.
