Annie B.

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Well, I guess it's time to say good-bye to Walmart...shopping for pants anyway...I tried on one of the VERY few size fours that they carry - didn't even see a size 2...and their 4's were bigger on me than my Old Navy 4's...and I almost fit into my Old Navy 2's...but they're a little tight still for wearing in public...I did get them on and closed LOL.

I could venture into the juniors department, but the only problem with that - is the fact that my thighs are bigger than my calves, and junior clothing is made for a girl who has no thighs or hips. *sigh*  So long cheap Walmart clothes...I guess I'm on to smaller and more expensive things.

So yesterday I stepped on the scale, and I was at my goal of 150 pounds! How exciting, right?

Yeah, well I thought I would be thrilled. I don't get it, but I'm not. I'm not satisfied at this weight. I still don't like what I see in the mirror. Maybe I need to lower my goal to 140...my husband said that he could see me getting down to 130, which is what my surgeon originally told me I should weigh...so maybe THAT should be my new goal. I don't know. I just don't feel comfortable at this 150 pounds.

I'm not sure what's going on, but I'm not excited about it...not thrilled like I thought I'd be. Just kinda sad that I'm not where I thought I'd be at 150 pounds. I have lost 165 pounds in 13 months. If that's not success, I don't know what is! So why is it I can't be proud of myself? Why do I just feel disappointed and down? *sigh*

That's all I can think to write at the moment...later...

Oh...here are my goals...again...


Goal 1: Reached early March- To reach Twoterville (under 300lbs)

Goal 2: I didn't make this one, and since surgery is past, it will not happen.  Reach 289 before surgery. 

Goal 3: Reached May 2, 2008 - BMI Under 40, which is 260 lbs (the weight at which I would not qualify for surgery).

Goal 4: Reached May 9, 2008 - Under 250 lbs

Goal 5: Reached July 11, 2008 - Be over half way to my goal - 232 pounds.  I will have lost 83 of 165 pounds.  82 pounds until goal.

Goal 6: Reached July 11, 2008 - BMI Under 35, which is 229 lbs (the weight at which I would not qualify for surgery with co-morbs)

Goal 7: Reached August 10, 2008 Weight of 214 - have lost over 100 pounds. Century Club!!!

Goal 8: Reached September 17, 2008 Make it to Onederland!  (under 200 lbs)

Goal 9: Reached September 17, 2008 No longer "obese" BMI, just "overweight" of less than 30 BMI: 199 pounds.

Goal 10: Reached November 5, 2008 Under 190 - this was my all time low weight of my adult life (which lasted a few months cuz then I got preggo).  And at that point, I will wear non-plus size clothes!! It was at 180, but there's no way I have ever weighed 180...I'm smaller now at 188 than I ever was even in middle school. Go figure! Can fit into size 10 jeans (one pair of 8's) and wearing L and XL shirts.

Goal 11: Reached January 2, 2009 To be under 175 (just because I need another goal) -
25 pounds to my ultimate goal!

Goal 12: Reached March 1, 2009 Normal weight BMI less than 24.9 = 164 pounds. Ok...well I'm at 164.6 and my BMI is at 24.7!! Woo-Hoo!

Goal 13: Reached March 9, 2009 Weight of 157.5 - I will have lost half of my body weight - loss of 157.5 pounds!

Goal 14: Reached March 26, 2009 150 pounds. Evaluate to see if I feel I need to lose more - YES I do need to lose more!

So, I only have one goal left now LOL...and hopefully in the next month or so I can get there...then I will have to start setting some other goals for myself!! 

I am now at 157.5.  That is EXACTLY half of my body weight...I have lost half of myself! How stinkin' cool is that!!

Goal 1: Reached early March- To reach Twoterville (under 300lbs)

Goal 2: I didn't make this one, and since surgery is past, it will not happen.  Reach 289 before surgery. 

Goal 3: Reached May 2, 2008 - BMI Under 40, which is 260 lbs (the weight at which I would not qualify for surgery).

Goal 4: Reached May 9, 2008 - Under 250 lbs

Goal 5: Reached July 11, 2008 - Be over half way to my goal - 232 pounds.  I will have lost 83 of 165 pounds.  82 pounds until goal.

Goal 6: Reached July 11, 2008 - BMI Under 35, which is 229 lbs (the weight at which I would not qualify for surgery with co-morbs)

Goal 7: Reached August 10, 2008 Weight of 214 - have lost over 100 pounds. Century Club!!!

Goal 8: Reached September 17, 2008 Make it to Onederland!  (under 200 lbs)

Goal 9: Reached September 17, 2008 No longer "obese" BMI, just "overweight" of less than 30 BMI: 199 pounds.

Goal 10: Reached November 5, 2008 Under 190 - this was my all time low weight of my adult life (which lasted a few months cuz then I got preggo).  And at that point, I will wear non-plus size clothes!! It was at 180, but there's no way I have ever weighed 180...I'm smaller now at 188 than I ever was even in middle school. Go figure! Can fit into size 10 jeans (one pair of 8's) and wearing L and XL shirts.

Goal 11: Reached January 2, 2009 To be under 175 (just because I need another goal) -
25 pounds to my ultimate goal!

Goal 12: Reached March 1, 2009 Normal weight BMI less than 24.9 = 164 pounds. Ok...well I'm at 164.6 and my BMI is at 24.7!! Woo-Hoo!

Goal 13: Reached March 9, 2009 Weight of 157.5 - I will have lost half of my body weight - loss of 157.5 pounds!

Goal 14: 150 pounds. Evaluate to see if I feel I need to lose more.

So I'm learning about jean sizes...I'm not a super tall gal - I'm 5' 8 1/2" tall...so fairly tall.  Well, when I was bigger sized, the average length was sufficient to wear...they were long enough, sometimes even too long! Well now, in a smaller size I HAVE to get the TALL size...and let me tell ya - it's harder to find tall or long jeans in the smaller sizes.  In my size 4 - I wouldn't have been able to have a regular...I NEEDED a tall/long size.  This is the first time I have needed to start looking for tall jeans...

But anyway, like I said, just an interesting observation...

I am in total and utter shock!!  I went to Myrtle Beach with a friend today - we went shopping. I decided to go to the Old Navy Outlet to try on some jeans.  Just for the heck of it. 

I was going to grab an 8 to try on, and my friend said, "Take a 6 and a 4. And if you need a bigger one I'll go get it."  So I decided to try on the 4's...and would you believe they FIT ME!!  I had to go show her of course...and the girls working said they look really good...one said "She fits in her 4's better than I do in mine." 

So here I am...wearing a pair of Old Navy size 4 jeans...in total shock and amazement that I could ever be this small...and I'm not even to goal yet, AND I still have all this extra skin!!

Alright! Thanks for listening...I'm just so thrilled and had to share...gonna get pictures tomorrow for my one year pics and to show off the fours!!

Well, I'm very thankful I gave up sugar. The first few days were HORRIBLE, but now I'm off of the withdrawals. 

I had been in a stall for two months - stayed 170-174 pounds. But that's when I started the sugar thing.

But I gave it up last Thursday, it's been a week now...and guess what? I have dropped 10.6 pounds in that time! I haven't seen that kind of loss in a LONG LONG time.

I'm just shocked!

Stay tuned for One Year pics!!  Should have some this weekend!

Wow!! So I'm "normal" now! How totally crazy is that! I can't believe I finally made it to the normal weight range. Although technically for my bone structure, I'm still overweight - small boned people of my height (5' 8") are supposed to be 125-139 pounds. We'll see how I look when I'm at 150 and go from there...Though with all my evil extra skin...who knows what my final weight will be after I get all that skin whacked off. LOL


Goal 1: Reached early March- To reach Twoterville (under 300lbs)

Goal 2: I didn't make this one, and since surgery is past, it will not happen.  Reach 289 before surgery. 

Goal 3: Reached May 2, 2008 - BMI Under 40, which is 260 lbs (the weight at which I would not qualify for surgery).

Goal 4: Reached May 9, 2008 - Under 250 lbs

Goal 5: Reached July 11, 2008 - Be over half way to my goal - 232 pounds.  I will have lost 83 of 165 pounds.  82 pounds until goal.

Goal 6: Reached July 11, 2008 - BMI Under 35, which is 229 lbs (the weight at which I would not qualify for surgery with co-morbs)

Goal 7: Reached August 10, 2008 Weight of 214 - have lost over 100 pounds. Century Club!!!

Goal 8: Reached September 17, 2008 Make it to Onederland!  (under 200 lbs)

Goal 9: Reached September 17, 2008 No longer "obese" BMI, just "overweight" of less than 30 BMI: 199 pounds.

Goal 10: Reached November 5, 2008 Under 190 - this was my all time low weight of my adult life (which lasted a few months cuz then I got preggo).  And at that point, I will wear non-plus size clothes!! It was at 180, but there's no way I have ever weighed 180...I'm smaller now at 188 than I ever was even in middle school. Go figure! Can fit into size 10 jeans (one pair of 8's) and wearing L and XL shirts.

Goal 11: Reached January 2, 2009 To be under 175 (just because I need another goal) -
25 pounds to my ultimate goal!

Goal 12: Reached March 1, 2009 Normal weight BMI less than 24.9 = 164 pounds. Ok...well I'm at 164.6 and my BMI is at 24.7!! Woo-Hoo!

Goal 13: Weight of 157 - I will have lost over half of my body weight - loss of 158 pounds!

Goal 14: 150 pounds. Evaluate to see if I feel I need to lose more.

Well, I am officially one year post op! How cool is that? It seems like just yesterday, but then at the same time, like forever.

I must admit, I have gotten kinda down - very little surgery support here and dealing with my stress, I have turned to sugary foods.  SO in the last two months, I've hoovered around 170-174. So, Thursday (and in honor of Lent) I gave up all the bad stuff...I went to all liquid protein and water - cleansing my body of the yucky stuff....so I am getting in the protein I should now...and guess what? I weighed myself on Wednesday - was at 172.2. This evening: 168.2...so I'm finally UNDER 170!! It's so exciting. But I wonder where I would be if I hadn't fallen into that trap...

Maybe I just had to learn it for myself - that SUGAR IS EVIL!! It really is. I knew that if I gave if up, I would start losing again, though I honestly didn't expect to just drop a few pounds like that...though I WILL take it!

I am also seeing a psychologist now...which is SO good for me. I KNOW I need to deal with all my food issues, because they're coming back and I have to get it under control.  I just wish I had seen one sooner...maybe I would have some of these issues dealt with already. Oh well, I suppose moving forward is the way to go.

But...I have now lost a total of 147.6 pounds from my highest weight! I'm like 2 pounds away from being "NORMAL" weight. I am 17.4 pounds away from my goal!  I am wearing size 8's now (how insane is that??). Though my tops are L and some XL still because of all my extra skin *sigh.*

I'm still dealing with the whole - my-brain-hasn't-caught-up-to-my-body issues, so I look in the mirror and still see the size 18 girl that was there before...I don't see myself at 315 - and size 26/28...but I definitely know I have a skewed perspective of myself...and I really wish that would go away.  I have all this extra skin, and I'm sure that doesn't help.

Anyway, just a little update on me...I am going to try really hard to be more active here, because I need it. I need my support from here, because I know I can do it...I just need to get my butt in gear and do it!

Holy cow! I never thought this would happen...though I totally hoped it would.

My BMI is currently 25.5...just half a point away from normal (6 pounds). I'm just freaking out right now!
I even squeezed into a pair of size 6 jeans. My 8's are fitting better, and i can wear more brands of 8's and my 10's are getting big! How insane is that!
I guess I will end up kind of small when it's all said and done...I still have 20 pounds to go...and skin removal.

Anyway...just posting my thoughts for now...hope everyone else is doing good!

Goal 1: Reached early March- To reach Twoterville (under 300lbs)

Goal 2: I didn't make this one, and since surgery is past, it will not happen.  Reach 289 before surgery. 

Goal 3: Reached May 2, 2008 - BMI Under 40, which is 260 lbs (the weight at which I would not qualify for surgery).

Goal 4: Reached May 9, 2008 - Under 250 lbs

Goal 5: Reached July 11, 2008 - Be over half way to my goal - 232 pounds.  I will have lost 83 of 165 pounds.  82 pounds until goal.

Goal 6: Reached July 11, 2008 - BMI Under 35, which is 229 lbs (the weight at which I would not qualify for surgery with co-morbs)

Goal 7: Reached August 10, 2008 Weight of 214 - have lost over 100 pounds. Century Club!!!

Goal 8: Reached September 17, 2008 Make it to Onederland!  (under 200 lbs)

Goal 9: Reached September 17, 2008 No longer "obese" BMI, just "overweight" of less than 30 BMI: 199 pounds.

Goal 10: Reached November 5, 2008 Under 190 - this was my all time low weight of my adult life (which lasted a few months cuz then I got preggo).  And at that point, I will wear non-plus size clothes!! It was at 180, but there's no way I have ever weighed 180...I'm smaller now at 188 than I ever was even in middle school. Go figure! Can fit into size 10 jeans (one pair of 8's) and wearing L and XL shirts.

Goal 11: Reached January 2, 2009 To be under 175 (just because I need another goal) -
25 pounds to my ultimate goal!

Goal 12: Normal weight BMI less than 24.9 = 164 pounds.

Goal 13: Weight of 157 - I will have lost over half of my body weight - loss of 158 pounds!

Goal 14: 150 pounds. Evaluate to see if I feel I need to lose more.