Annie B.

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Well, I put myself on a liquid diet...my goal...to get under 300 before my appointment with the surgeon next week.  I had gained about 8 pounds over the holidays, so I am needing to get this off.  So I am living off of soup and protein drinks.  So far it's alright...I am on day three.  My goal is to get in at least 60 g of protein per day.

I am exeperimenting with adding sugar free pudding mix into the blender with the protein powder, skim milk, and ice.  I think I will also try that extra protein milk they suggest - you know, the one where you add powdered milk to the skim milk to make it extra proteined.

Anyway...since monday I've lost about 5 pounds! YAY!  Only about 3 pounds away from the scale showing my under 300 pounds.  

Though I stll really want to eat at Olive Garden, Izzy's, and The Melting Pot once more before surgery LOL.

Anyway...not much else going on...kind of boring around here...


Until next time,
~Annie

Since I've updated here.

It's been busy...just hanging out with my boys.  

Today I called Tricare and got my appt changed!  I get to go see Dr. Sebesta next week on the 22nd! YAY.  He was my first choice surgeon, but I knew I'd go with Dr. Rush if it was sooner.  So now Dr. Sebesta is sooner! YAY.

I really want to have my surgery in February...well, I'll know next week.  Now to lose the weight I gained over the holidays...*sigh*

The other day, I was putting my horrifying pictures onto the computer (my before ones that I have yet to post because of their horrifying-ness).  My five year old saw the pictures and asked me, "Mommy, why are you bigger in that picture?"  Ok...it was taken like five minutes before he asked this...
Guess that means, they really are NOT good pictures.  He even thought I looked bigger in my picture than I really do.  He doesn't know how good that made me feel (of course, I know I am big, and that didn't change that, it's just that I know that I don't normally look as bad as my picture shows *whew*).  

What a sweetie pie!!

Of course, he's always telling me "Mommy, you're a thousand, million, billion pretty"  I'll have to post a picture of my little sweetie pies sometime.  My three year old always tells me "Mommy, you're the beautiful and the best"  I don't know what I'd do without those two!

Ugh!  Let me tell you - I hate having my picture taken!

I got the courage to take before picture today...figured I'd wear shorts so that I can see the results in my legs...so I took the pics, but I don't think I can post them yet.  YIKES!  I knew I looked bad, but I didn't realize how bad it really was.  

I need to go exercise today - but I'm waiting on dh to come back with the van, so I can take the boys and go...

I also weighed myself...I'm up about 2 1/2 pounds...I know I've been eating crap lately, but I've been in the midst of the end of the semester and taking finals.

Oh...RANT HERE...I took my cost accounting class final - there were questions about Net Present Value - you have to use an Annuity Chart to figure those, but the charts weren't there, so I couldn't answer them.  SO I emailed the professor after I took the test.  You wanna know what he told me?  That I should have used a financial calculator!?!?!?!?  WHAT!??!?!
The only Net Present Value problems we worked on - we used charts...it didn't teach us how to use the financial calulators (at least not that I saw, maybe I missed that part).  However, NO WHERE IN THE CLASS or the syllabus were we told we needed to have a financial calculator.  OMG!!!!  I so frustrated!  This professor is a complete and total IDIOT!  This class alone makes me want to completely abandon Accounting.

Not that you can trust the syllabus anyway...I learned that two weeks ago when we were told we had a closed book final...when the ENTIRE semester EVERYONE expected an Open book final.  UGH!  Well, I'm sure all this means is that I will lose my 4.0 GPA thanks to an evil professor who didn't care to update his syllabus nor did he care to inform us we were required to have a financial calculator on the final.

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, I have been studying all weekend.  I am taking classes online through the University of Maryland University College.  I literally have spent all day in front of this computer (jumping online here when I need a little break - like now). 

I have two finals on Tuesday.  I am not looking forward to them.  I have been stressed (both are closed book).  They are Intermediate Accounting 1, and Cost Accounting.  Tough intense classes.  I'm tired of studying every day!  I am tired of my boys crying because they don't want me to go to the library (I don't wanna go either).  

Tonight, I asked Elijah, my five year old, to pray for mommy's tests, that I would do well.  He did, and then added, that mommy would never have to study again.    Well, I am going to take it easy next semester - I'm going from 300 level classes to taking 2 classes that are 100 level.  Since I plan to have my surgery soon after the semester starts, I need to make sure it's easy...I think I'm gonna try to work ahead too...that should help. 

Anyway, not much else going on...Though my entire plan to start eating well went out the window - I've been too stressed to eat healthy - hopefully after Tuesday I can do better...Part of me just wants to say WHO CARES!!!  And just stop studying NOW...but there's a lot of material that I really do need to review...just gotta keep plugging away...I CAN DO IT.

Well, that's it for now!
~Annie

Well, thanks to Shelley, I found out that I can view all of my referrals to civilian docs online!  So I got that set up, and today, there was my referral for the psych evaluation.  It gave me all the info to contact her, so I called this afternoon...unfortunately, I had to leave a message and I'm now waiting for a return call (phone will be close to me until I hear back).  From her voicemail, it sounds like she tries to get back to people ASAP.

Anyway, I've been exercising...haven't done it in a LONG time.  I went to the Jensen Gym on Fort Lewis - since they have FREE childcare!!  How cool is THAT???  I have started resistance training - the first day (Tuesday), I did the resistance stuff, and then I tried the Eliptical...that thing is CRAZY!!  I could only handle 10 minutes, and I thought I was gonna DIE.

Yesterday, instead of going to the gym, I spent the morning cleaning...like HEAVY cleaning...my pulse was racing, I was sweating like crazy.  I spent just over two hours cleaning...so I figured that counted as my excercise.    Then today I went back to the gym.  I loaded my iPod with some fun stuff and got to work!  I did the machines again (resistance training).  Then I went to the recumbant bikes - I got interuppted after about 25 minutes because my three year old had an accident and I didn't give them other clothes - thankfully I had them in my car!  

Anyway, so I'm also counting my calories and taking note of what I'm eating - just started doing that too.  I figure even if I eat some "bad" stuff, as long as I'm aware of what I'm doing, it's better than just not keeping track.  Actually, I've found that since I am keeping track of EVERYTHING that goes in my mouth, that I'm more picky about what goes in. 

Like this afternoon...I was getting a snack for the boys - they were having pooh bear crackers (just like animal crackers, but pooh bear and friends shapes) and string cheese - I will usually munch on a few of the crackers as I'm getting theirs...well today, I didn't.  I looked at the calories, and realized that I didn't really need to spend my calories there.  I did though eat a few Junior mints - I had 10 of them - it was 113 calories - but I did it purposefully...not just because it was there and I wanted to munch on something.  I knew how many calories I was eating as I ate them.   So I think this is going to be a good thing for me.  

Anyway, that's it for now... ^_^

~Annie

Next on the list - is the psych evaluation.

So now I'm waiting on Tricare...hopefully the wait won't be long.  I wonder how soon you find out if you "passed" the psych evaluation...hmmmm.  I'm not really worried...just more curious.  Know what I mean?

Anyway, not much else to update...hopefully I'll have my surgery date by Christmas time....I'm hoping for the last week in January...dh can't take any leave before then.

Well, I went to my first class on the Pathway on November 19th.  Called that evening and there was an opening in the class the next day.  So I took it.  I went to a support group meeting (we're required to attend one).  I would like to go to more, but it's while my husband is working, and childcare is kinda spendy...I would like to go every so often though.

Then there was the Occupational Therapy class - I signed up for that one for the 28th.  Then there are two Adult Weight Management classes we have to attend.  I got scheduled for the ones on the 2nd and 9th of January.  But on Tuesday morning, I called Tricare and got in for the one that was yesterday (and next week).  So...I will be done with all my classes next week!!!  December 5th!  Then the next step will be the psych evaluation.

So...I got a lot out of the Occ Therapy class...that was a good one...it was all about exercise and stuff.  The Adult Weight Management class....well it's a good class...but it's taylored to "normal" people who want to lose weight...it really isn't very relevant to those who will be having, or have had, surgery.  They talk about the food groups and what a serving size is, and all that stuff.  And that our plates should be half veggies.  Well that's all fine and dandy...and that's probably what I should be doing now...but in a couple of months this is going to be irrelevant.  I will only be able to eat a couple of ounces at at time...I know protein has to be the first thing I eat - focus on that...not veggies.  And at that point...I won't be eating a piece of meat the size of my palm, a 1/3 cup of rice or pasta and half a plate of veggies....so I don't totally get why we're doing this one...but I'll go with the flow.  And I suppose it would be great if we can get the rest of our family to eat that way.  

Anyway...things are progressing VERY quickly...from class one to the last class will be 16 days!!  I wonder how long it will take to get the psych eval done?  

From what we were told, they are scheduling the surgeries about 2-4 weeks out.  Though I can't do mine before the last week in January (dh can't get leave until then)...he's planning to take two weeks off at that time - I hope I make it through those two weeks...I might go crazy!  LOL.  But it will be good to have him home for it.

I'll update more later!

Well, I went to see the surgeon on November 2nd.  He said I'm a great candidate for the surgery.

I have to do the Pathways Class next.  WHen I called to sign up for it, they said the next available one wasn't until JANUARY .  But she said she'd put me on the waiting list for the November 19th class.  Then earlier this week they called and said they decided to do a December class...so then I was signed up for the December 17th class, but still on the waiting list for Nov.  THen yesterday I got a call!! YAY!  I get to go to the November class!

I'm moving along...

Alright, these are goals about my weight that I want:

*I want to feel comfortable eating in front of other people.  Right now, I feel best when I eat apart from everyone else - even my family.  I don't like people watching me eat - I always think people are thinking, "Oh look, the fat lady is eating again - she won't lose any of it that way"  maybe that's because that's what I think about myself every time I eat.  Even when I make the healthy choices, I still feel that way.

*I want to be able to walk when we go to Disney.  Currently, I have to get one of those scooter things because of my constant foot/knee pain.  And I feel like everyone sees me and thinks I am just on it because I'm fat, not because I'm in pain.  At least when I'm thinner, people won't think it's because I'm too fat that I need it - if I still have to use one.

*I want to go to Knott's Berry Farm and fit in all the rides!  We were in California last month, and my husband and I took a day to go to Knott's Berry Farm to go do some of the big thrill rides.  Well I couldn't fit on the first ride I tried.  The lady was pulling the seat belt really far - even if she had gotten it, I would have been in major pain from the belt.  I had to get out and was totally humiliated.  I had to wait right there while my hubby rode (though it was at my urging that he went on the ride).  We actually left right after that and went back to Disneyland...thankfully I can ride every ride at Disneyland and most at California Adventure...

*Along the same lines...I've always wanted to ride those swing ride things - I think the weight limit is 200lbs.

*Another one along those lines - I want to be able to ride one of those Segway things at Disney.  They have a 250lb weight limit.

*I want to go horsebackriding.  Most of the places I have seen have a 200lb limit.

*I want to go to my family reunion Sept 2008, and have my entire family in shock at the weight I've lost.  I went to the reunion last month, and I was very uncomfortable, and feeling really self conscious.

*I want to have the energy to keep up with my boys (they're 3 & 5 years old).  They're so active, and I'm sure they'd love for me to take them to the zoo and have the energy to spend the entire day there - rather than just a couple of hours.

*I want to run again.  I used to run in college.  Now, I can only do short walks.  I would love to get to the point of running again.  I used to enjoy it.

*I want my boys to never be embarrassed of how I look. How I act is a whole nother issue LOL.  But when my five year old asked me, "Are lots of mommies like you?"  I asked, "what do you mean?" He said, "Are lots of mommies big and wide like you?"  That almost made me cry.

Well, I'm sure I'll think of more...but that's it for now.