Reality Check

Jun 27, 2010

It's weird.  I am constantly feeling like the scale isn't changing fast enough.  The first few weeks after the band I was still losing about 5 to 6 pounds per week.  I know that is not normal, but I was exercising and eating right and it was going well because I started out so large.  Then, after a few weeks I felt I hit a wall.  I only seem to lose 1 to 2 pounds or sometimes it says I gained a pound.  Everyday I have been so careful to count my calories and exercise so it's very frustrating when it goes up.  

My brain tells me I'm only supposed to lose 1 to 2 pounds per week but then it argues that I was losing 5 or 6 so why would it drop off so much if I didn't change anything?  I know it's because I'm not as gigantic as I was before and this is more normal and healthy... for some reason it's not much consolation when the scale goes UP.  

I have determined that it went up because I ate some seafood with soy sauce the day before.  I think it must be what it is, or maybe muscle, or both.  I have been exercising pretty consistently.  I don't really want to give up soy sauce and salt, but it might make my weigh ins less of an emotional roller coaster so I'm thinking I might start making it a no no on the two days before my weigh in and see if that helps.  

In the meantime, my reality check comes from talking to my mom.  She says I lost weight quickly.  I said, oh, well, yes, I guess I lost 70 lbs in about 3.5 months.  Holy crap that's fast!  Really!  Last time I dieted and lost weight on my own I lost 80 lbs and it took me almost a year.  I really need to stop my brain and emotions from beating me down.  Sometimes it's hard to focus on the good things.  I'm so used to being critical and trying to make the things I care about most perfect that sometimes I forget to focus on the positive.  I would never do that to a friend though.  

Maybe I'll write it down somewhere that I will see it all the time.  "You are doing great!  Stop beating yourself up and DON'T let two measely probably water weight pounds make you feel like exercising is a waste because it's not!!!" 

As hard as it is to make me get off my ass I always feel soooo physically and emotionally better afterwards.  I think this turned into a ramble.  Oh well, sometimes they are the most therapeutic blogs! :) 

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