Life Changes

Sep 13, 2010

I need to blog. I have never been more nervous in my life than I am at this point. I felt like running and never stopping. Running from me , life my weight, my insecurities. I didn't realize how much of an emotional toll this surgery would have on me until last week.

I look back over the past year and there were times when i just loved me and my weight didn't matter. I knew I was sexy, had my head held high and strutted my stuff and then thers today. I don't feel so hot today. I feel ashamed and sad, lonley and scared, confused and angry. Angry at me for not trying harder, for not doing more and giving more to myself. i seem to give to everyone else but me. 09-15-2010 is my turning poing and I want to give more to me!  Even if it means being selfish!

I want to learn how to swim, so I can swim with my boyfriend, I want to run and not from my problems or life but run with the sun warming my face and and the wind welcoming me as if I was one with it. I want to love with reckless abandonment, inspite of what has been said or done. I want to give of my time, my heart, my experiences. .... I WANT TO GIVE ME!!!

I welcome this new life that is to come, I welcome not only changing how I eat but changing how I love, how I give, how I think and how I speak. My ACTIONS will speak for me! I AM MORE THAN A CONQUEROR THRU CHRIST JESUS....I AM A CHAMPION AND I CAN DO ALLL THINGS THRU CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS ME!

I won't give up like I have done in past times thinking I can't make it, it's too hard. I WELCOME THIS CHALLENGE.....I WELCOME THESE LIFE CHANGES

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About Me
Boston, MA
Location
30.9
BMI
RNY
Surgery
09/15/2010
Surgery Date
May 07, 2010
Member Since

Friends 11

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