I read this somewhere... thought it was awesome...
~~~THE WOMAN IN THE MIRROR~~~ Walking past the mirrored glass, I take a timid peak, I see a woman staring back, I'm too choked up to speak. The puffiness, at last, is gone, The skin pink and glowing, The many pounds that melted off, Finally, now is showing. Hard to believe until recently, This same woman was dying, Stuffing the food to ease the pain, Heartbroken and crying. Life evolved around each snack, She lived for every meal, Anything to numb the hurt, She didn't want to feel. When did she get so is filled with gladness, I'm out of bondage, I'm out of pain, There is no room for sadness. This woman in the mirror, Smiles softly back at me, She has good cause topretty? When did God remove the grief? How did this miracle happen? Who provided this relief? What a gift! A second chance! I thank God everyday, For his grace in showing me, There is a better way. I walk, I dance, I make love too, My heart be so pleased, She's finally been set free! ............................
7/18/05 Well today was my consult. Met with Dr. Roslin, they have scheduled my surgery for 8/26/05, I hope my insurance goes through. That's my biggest worry right now
Got a call from Katherine that Dr. Roslin will be on Vacation the day of my surgery, so it is now rescheduled for 9/6. I am so anxious about this. I am tired of being miserable and tired all of the time.
8/8/05- Well my papers have been submitted to the insurance company! Now the wait. Its very scary, if they do not approve it, what will I do. I can't stop crying, its like well let me see, I am praying for the approval and thinking oh my God, will I be average weight next year at this time? Please let it happen!
............................
8/16/05- Well today my bloodwork came back, so far so good. People are trying to discourage me, saying "why do you want to have surgery, you know how dangerous it is? You know you can die? Well my weight is dangerous too and I can die from that
REASONS I WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT
To be able to wear junior sizes again
To not feel as if everyone in the room is looking at me
To not be so tired any more
For my knees not to hurt
To be able to play with my children
To be able to walk up stairs
to be able to go to the beach
to enjoy my life
to not wonder what is the waitress or waiter thinking when I order a meal. TO BE FREE 8/19/05 WELL I AM TOTALLY CONFUSED, MY SURGERY IS SCHEDULED FOR 9/6/05 (2 WEEKS AND 3 DAYS) FROM TODAY, MY INSURANCE HAS NOT MADE A DETERMINATION. MY DOCTOR TELLS ME NOT TO WORRY, EASY FOR THEM TO SAY WHEN THEY ARE TOTALLY IN SHAPE. I AM SCARED TO DEATH............ ............................
8/21/05 Today I went to the beach with my children, of course I felt like a beached whale, but all I was able to think was . this time next year....it was kind of refreshing to think of it. I am praying that all goes well. this is the start of a new me. Its so hard to feel trapped with in your body, miserable and unhappy; self conscious and depressed.
8/26/05 The waiting came continues. I think it's gonna drive me nuts. Its so unfair........ My surgery is scheduled for 11 days from today. Which basically means, I have 4 working days for Aetna to make a decision, as I have to register on Friday 9/2/05, a week from today. I feel like crying................ ............................
9/3/05 OMG- AETNA approved me! Last night, of course at the last possible minute. But I am approved! Now the reality check comes in- I am scared- I wish it were done and over with. What if I fail at this Too? Well 3 more days to go! Keep ya posted!
9/5/05 Well, here it is tomorrow-the big day. Wow. my nerves are shot.
9/9/05 Ok I am home- THE GAS PAIN IS TERRIBLE~~~~~~~ I feel terrible I can not get in or out of bed.... Isn't that special 9/14/05- Ok today was my first post op appointment and I am down 13 pounds 9/22/05 Went to the MD yesterday,, the infection is clearing. I am now 2 weeks post op and down 21 pounds! Yay
10/3/05 Well my infection seems to be clearing up! I feel ok. There are good days and bad days. Adding exercise to my program. Down 7 more pounds! Yippee Today is 10/8/05- the NY city transit is at risk for a terrorist attack- isn't that special. Well, I went to an Engagement party last night and Danced- which ended this weeks 0 weigt loss, -2 more pounds. Yes! But the night did have some quirkssitting at the table ( asked the waiter for 2oz of meat sauce) when my husband's business partner's wife, comes to the table and says "how are feeling skinny?" (sarcastically) then asked me "so what are you doing in all of your spare time now that you are not eating?" I was in such a state of shock. Everyone looked at me. people I did not know were at my table. I got up, and ran to the bathroom- crying. Since I could not stay in the bathroom all night, I returned to the table. Some woman at the table congratulated me on my surgery, she told me how she is a personal trainer, and then told me " when you lose the rest of the weight, you will need plastic surgery," I told her I know- she then said " because your stomach is gong to look so gross, hanging over bla bla bla" She had a beautiful body- but an ugly face acutally her nose was her face I got so angry- I lost control and commented "Yea- I know, thank god they can correct that. By the way, I have the name of wonderful plastic surgeron- maybe you'd like his number. I hear he does great nose jobs?" 10/13/05
I borrowed,
ok I stole this from Violet C's Page
LOVE IT
Suicide By Food: Don't Fall Victim By Dr. Matthew Anderson Exclusive for eDiets Let’s start with four straight-to-the-gut comments to get your attention. 1. Fat is often a form of suicide. 2. If you are chronically overweight you are killing valuable and essential parts of yourself each and every day. 3. If you kill enough of yourself daily, there will come a day when the whole thing dies. 4. What will it take for you to wake up and stop killing you? Do I have your attention now? I hope so because this information could be extremely useful to you as a weight loss tool and also as a way to change your life. Question: Do you know why you overeat? Yes, there are many reasons but one of the most central is that you eat to kill parts of yourself. I know you don’t do this consciously. You don’t grab a hamburger and think, "Let me use this to hurt myself." But in reality you are doing just that. You grab the burger to kill feelings of insecurity, or anxiety, or anger, or loneliness, or sexual energy, or personal power, or a number of other uncomfortable thoughts and emotions that are essential to your well-being, healing and growth. Every time you use food to hide from yourself, or from life, you are practicing a subtle form of self-destruction. If you are meaningfully overweight you are practicing this kind of suicide daily, and, let me tell you, it is having a devastating effect on your health on every level. You are probably very aware of all the negative effects that obesity has on your physical self. I don’t have to list the diseases that are either caused or exacerbated by excess weight. You know full well that your fat is killing your body. I wonder, however, if you are aware that you are fat because you use food to kill other parts of yourself that are just as essential to your well-being as your physical body? Here is a brief list for you to consider. Look closely, you might just see yourself here. How you kill yourself with food. You use food… * To kill your sexual energy. * To kill your uncomfortable feelings. * To kill your need to self-express. * To kill your need for intimacy. * To kill your risky dreams and hopes. * To kill your personal power. * To kill your unorthodox ideas and behaviors. * To kill your passions. * To kill your awareness of self and others. * To kill your aggressive energy. * To kill your desires for freedom. * To kill your urge to dramatically change your life.
10/22/05 Today I feel really depressed. My brother in law who committed suicide last year(10/24/05) on my son's birthday would have been 39 today. I am at a stall, and feel like crying. Feeling like a failure and all that...well let me go. bye for now. 10/26/05 Well, I am feeling better, had another infection, my dear surgeon cut it open and put a wick in it. Well at least the scale is moving again... down 2 more pounds! yippee! 10/30/05 Still feeling OK.. Could be better, could be worse. So I will take feeling ok. Weight remains the same, but I know it will drop sooner or later
Somebody died today of DENIAL Because they would not see that their weight was out of control. Somebody died today of EMBARRASSMENT Because they did not want to be weighed at the doctor’s office. Somebody died today of SHAME Because they believed they lacked willpower. Somebody died today of LONELINESS Because they could not reach out and ask for help. Somebody died today of FEAR Because they thought they could never live without their favorite foods. Somebody died today of GUILT Because they felt they disappointed their loved ones. Somebody died today of REGRET Because they did not live a full and active life. Somebody died today of DESPAIR Because they thought there was no hope. Somebody died today of OBESITY. Pray for them. Pray for us. Believe. You have the power to change your life. --Trish Foley WHEN YOU HAVE A MOTHER When you have a mother Who cares so much for you That anything you want Becomes her desires. When you have a mother Who is so understanding that No matter what is bothering you She can make you smile. When you have a mother Who is so strong that No matter what obstacles she faces She is always confident in front of you. When you have a mother Who actively pursues her goals in life But includes you in her goals You are very lucky indeed. Having a mother like this Makes it easy to grow up Into a loving, strong adult. Thank you for being this kind of wonderful mother. ~~Susan Polis Schutz~ Happy Halloween
11/20/05 Well today I feel so much better. Size 16 jeans TOO BIG 12/4/05 Well its December and its major stall time too. I am trying not to let this discourage me :( 12/10/05 a 3 MONTHS POST OP
myspace layout
12/22/05 Well the NYC transit strike ended today. The last 3 days have been a NIGHTMARE Well I am now down 60 pounds! 12/30/05 The end of the year that began the change of my life! 1/1/06 Size 12~ yep................. Size 12 pants fit
1/18/06 I am now 39. today is my birthday. I am now down 71lbs! 2/4/05 Side by side comparison TODAY and day of surgery 2/11/06 slowly but surely 3/28/2006 4/28/06 Well, it has been a long time, there has been so much BS going on... Let's see, I have been depressed, my step father died 1 month ago, he was the only father that I knew, my brother in law attempted suicide, (I already lost one brother in law to suicide). I have not lost a pound. I am making bad food choices and I can not seem to get a grip, I have not gained weight at least.. Don't know, Maybe I need moral support.............Just do not feel like I am getting any. I am not drinking my water.... shall I continue??? Maybe I am just feeling sorry for myself who knows??? Until the next time
5/6/06 This is so funny, I had to share. If you see the first line of my profile, you would know that I was humiliated as a child by a guy I had a crush on.. and it stuck with me all of these years. So here I am in Home Depot, and he walked in. I was with my daughter,( my husband and son were outside) and I did feel anxious, (No I no longer have a crush on him) Have not seen him in say 15 years, So my daughter of course starts to run.. and I yell Gia, which of course drew his attention. He said "gail"?? I was like yea, "is that your daughter, she is beautiful" So I said yes and thanks,, he then said "wow she looks just like you" I almost had an immature moment............... wanted to say "she looks like the Gail the Whale"? but refrained and just said Thank you. I guess I finally got the last word. LOL
6/26/2006 Well it has been a while. I lost 5 pounds, but the inches are going now. I really do not know what size I am, some things are a 5/6 or 7/8 and some a 9/10. I am glad the winter is over 7/9/06 As of today I have lost......100 pounds!!!!!!!!! Yea yea yea a
9/2/06 I am almost 1 year out and so much has changed. I wear a size 5 in Jeans now!!! New dreamed the day would come. I bough a pair of Seven jeans size 27.... which equals a 4. I went to the plastic surgeon, who found 2 incisional hernias, so I had to see a general surgeon, he confirmed her findings and said that I will have both done simutaneoulsy. Now I know why I can't lay on my left side and hurts
9/16/06 I bought a pair of pants today in a size 3/4. I really don't see it though. I guess I really need for my head to catch up. I feel a little depressed, ok very depressed............................
10/1/06........... Well, I am at goal! But I think I still need to lose about 10 pounds It's funny, I now have no problem telling anyone h ow much I weigh and how much I weighed.
10/6/06 Life is just so different now.................................
Be the first to leave a comment.
The beginning [Edit Post]
34 minutes ago
Published
MY NAME IS GAIL, SO I HAD THE THE PERFECT NICKNAME "Gail the whale" or Gaily Whalie nice huh? And I remember so vividly having a crush on some a$$ hole, who thought It was cute to say "you want to go out with me?" Then laughed at me with such an evil sound, (I can still hear it) I was 12 then, and still feel the embarrassment and humiliation from that incident. That was where all of the pain and suffering started....now 26 years later, I need to end the pain
Be the first to leave a comment.
Another Day [Edit Post]
14 hours ago
Published
So I am now a little over 13 months post op. The weight loss has slowed down. I havent lost a pound in 2 months. My last stall was more than that, so I am hoping that it will start up again. today is also the 5th year that my grandma died.
I wear a size 3/4 or 5/6 in pants now. My shoulders are broader, around an 8/10. I am planning my tummy tuck for December. with a breast lift. What I hate are my arms, they look like bat wings lol. till next time.........
Gail
Be the first to leave a comment.
wow [Edit Post]
on October 5, 2006 9:08 am
Published
10/6/06 Life is just so different now.................................
Be the first to leave a comment.
first [Edit Post]
on June 15, 2005 9:10 am
Published
MY NAME IS GAIL, SO I HAD THE THE PERFECT NICKNAME "Gail the whale" or Gaily Whalie nice huh? And I remember so vividly having a crush on some a$$ hole, who thought It was cute to say "you want to go out with me?" Then laughed at me with such an evil sound, (I can still hear it) I was 12 then, and still feel the embarrassment and humiliation from that incident. That was where all of the pain and suffering started....now 26 years later, I need to end the pain
Be the first to leave a comment.
Archive
My Story [ Edit ]
MY NAME IS GAIL, SO I HAD THE THE PERFECT NICKNAME "Gail the whale" or Gaily Whalie nice huh? And I remember so vividly having a crush on some a$$ hole, who thought It was cute to say "you want to go out with me?" Then laughed at me with such an evil sound, (I can still hear it) I was 12 then, and still feel the embarrassment and humiliation from that incident. That was where all of the pain and suffering started....now 26 years later, I need to end the pain
I read this somewhere... thought it was awesome...
~~~THE WOMAN IN THE MIRROR~~~ Walking past the mirrored glass, I take a timid peak, I see a woman staring back, I'm too choked up to speak. The puffiness, at last, is gone, The skin pink and glowing, The many pounds that melted off, Finally, now is showing. Hard to believe until recently, This same woman was dying, Stuffing the food to ease the pain, Heartbroken and crying. Life evolved around each snack, She lived for every meal, Anything to numb the hurt, She didn't want to feel. When did she get so pretty? When did God remove the grief? How did this miracle happen? Who provided this relief? What a gift! A second chance! I thank God everyday, For his grace in showing me, There is a better way. I walk, I dance, I make love too, My heart is filled with gladness, I'm out of bondage, I'm out of pain, There is no room for sadness. This woman in the mirror, Smiles softly back at me, She has good cause to be so pleased, She's finally been set free! ............................
7/18/05 Well today was my consult. Met with Dr. Roslin, they have scheduled my surgery for 8/26/05, I hope my insurance goes through. That's my biggest worry right now
Got a call from Katherine that Dr. Roslin will be on Vacation the day of my surgery, so it is now rescheduled for 9/6. I am so anxious about this. I am tired of being miserable and tired all of the time.
8/8/05- Well my papers have been submitted to the insurance company! Now the wait. Its very scary, if they do not approve it, what will I do. I can't stop crying, its like well let me see, I am praying for the approval and thinking oh my God, will I be average weight next year at this time? Please let it happen!
............................
8/16/05- Well today my bloodwork came back, so far so good. People are trying to discourage me, saying "why do you want to have surgery, you know how dangerous it is? You know you can die? Well my weight is dangerous too and I can die from that
REASONS I WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT
To be able to wear junior sizes again
To not feel as if everyone in the room is looking at me
To not be so tired any more
For my knees not to hurt
To be able to play with my children
To be able to walk up stairs
to be able to go to the beach
to enjoy my life
to not wonder what is the waitress or waiter thinking when I order a meal. TO BE FREE 8/19/05 WELL I AM TOTALLY CONFUSED, MY SURGERY IS SCHEDULED FOR 9/6/05 (2 WEEKS AND 3 DAYS) FROM TODAY, MY INSURANCE HAS NOT MADE A DETERMINATION. MY DOCTOR TELLS ME NOT TO WORRY, EASY FOR THEM TO SAY WHEN THEY ARE TOTALLY IN SHAPE. I AM SCARED TO DEATH............ ............................
8/21/05 Today I went to the beach with my children, of course I felt like a beached whale, but all I was able to think was . this time next year....it was kind of refreshing to think of it. I am praying that all goes well. this is the start of a new me. Its so hard to feel trapped with in your body, miserable and unhappy; self conscious and depressed.
8/26/05 The waiting came continues. I think it's gonna drive me nuts. Its so unfair........ My surgery is scheduled for 11 days from today. Which basically means, I have 4 working days for Aetna to make a decision, as I have to register on Friday 9/2/05, a week from today. I feel like crying................ ............................
9/3/05 OMG- AETNA approved me! Last night, of course at the last possible minute. But I am approved! Now the reality check comes in- I am scared- I wish it were done and over with. What if I fail at this Too? Well 3 more days to go! Keep ya posted!
9/5/05 Well, here it is tomorrow-the big day. Wow. my nerves are shot.
9/9/05 Ok I am home- THE GAS PAIN IS TERRIBLE~~~~~~~ I feel terrible I can not get in or out of bed.... Isn't that special 9/14/05- Ok today was my first post op appointment and I am down 13 pounds 9/22/05 Went to the MD yesterday,, the infection is clearing. I am now 2 weeks post op and down 21 pounds! Yay
10/3/05 Well my infection seems to be clearing up! I feel ok. There are good days and bad days. Adding exercise to my program. Down 7 more pounds! Yippee Today is 10/8/05- the NY city transit is at risk for a terrorist attack- isn't that special. Well, I went to an Engagement party last night and Danced- which ended this weeks 0 weigt loss, -2 more pounds. Yes! But the night did have some quirkssitting at the table ( asked the waiter for 2oz of meat sauce) when my husband's business partner's wife, comes to the table and says "how are feeling skinny?" (sarcastically) then asked me "so what are you doing in all of your spare time now that you are not eating?" I was in such a state of shock. Everyone looked at me. people I did not know were at my table. I got up, and ran to the bathroom- crying. Since I could not stay in the bathroom all night, I returned to the table. Some woman at the table congratulated me on my surgery, she told me how she is a personal trainer, and then told me " when you lose the rest of the weight, you will need plastic surgery," I told her I know- she then said " because your stomach is gong to look so gross, hanging over bla bla bla" She had a beautiful body- but an ugly face acutally her nose was her face I got so angry- I lost control and commented "Yea- I know, thank god they can correct that. By the way, I have the name of wonderful plastic surgeron- maybe you'd like his number. I hear he does great nose jobs?" 10/13/05
I borrowed,
ok I stole this from Violet C's Page
LOVE IT
Suicide By Food: Don't Fall Victim By Dr. Matthew Anderson Exclusive for eDiets Let’s start with four straight-to-the-gut comments to get your attention. 1. Fat is often a form of suicide. 2. If you are chronically overweight you are killing valuable and essential parts of yourself each and every day. 3. If you kill enough of yourself daily, there will come a day when the whole thing dies. 4. What will it take for you to wake up and stop killing you? Do I have your attention now? I hope so because this information could be extremely useful to you as a weight loss tool and also as a way to change your life. Question: Do you know why you overeat? Yes, there are many reasons but one of the most central is that you eat to kill parts of yourself. I know you don’t do this consciously. You don’t grab a hamburger and think, "Let me use this to hurt myself." But in reality you are doing just that. You grab the burger to kill feelings of insecurity, or anxiety, or anger, or loneliness, or sexual energy, or personal power, or a number of other uncomfortable thoughts and emotions that are essential to your well-being, healing and growth. Every time you use food to hide from yourself, or from life, you are practicing a subtle form of self-destruction. If you are meaningfully overweight you are practicing this kind of suicide daily, and, let me tell you, it is having a devastating effect on your health on every level. You are probably very aware of all the negative effects that obesity has on your physical self. I don’t have to list the diseases that are either caused or exacerbated by excess weight. You know full well that your fat is killing your body. I wonder, however, if you are aware that you are fat because you use food to kill other parts of yourself that are just as essential to your well-being as your physical body? Here is a brief list for you to consider. Look closely, you might just see yourself here. How you kill yourself with food. You use food… * To kill your sexual energy. * To kill your uncomfortable feelings. * To kill your need to self-express. * To kill your need for intimacy. * To kill your risky dreams and hopes. * To kill your personal power. * To kill your unorthodox ideas and behaviors. * To kill your passions. * To kill your awareness of self and others. * To kill your aggressive energy. * To kill your desires for freedom. * To kill your urge to dramatically change your life.
10/22/05 Today I feel really depressed. My brother in law who committed suicide last year(10/24/05) on my son's birthday would have been 39 today. I am at a stall, and feel like crying. Feeling like a failure and all that...well let me go. bye for now. 10/26/05 Well, I am feeling better, had another infection, my dear surgeon cut it open and put a wick in it. Well at least the scale is moving again... down 2 more pounds! yippee! 10/30/05 Still feeling OK.. Could be better, could be worse. So I will take feeling ok. Weight remains the same, but I know it will drop sooner or later
Somebody died today of DENIAL Because they would not see that their weight was out of control. Somebody died today of EMBARRASSMENT Because they did not want to be weighed at the doctor’s office. Somebody died today of SHAME Because they believed they lacked willpower. Somebody died today of LONELINESS Because they could not reach out and ask for help. Somebody died today of FEAR Because they thought they could never live without their favorite foods. Somebody died today of GUILT Because they felt they disappointed their loved ones. Somebody died today of REGRET Because they did not live a full and active life. Somebody died today of DESPAIR Because they thought there was no hope. Somebody died today of OBESITY. Pray for them. Pray for us. Believe. You have the power to change your life. --Trish Foley WHEN YOU HAVE A MOTHER When you have a mother Who cares so much for you That anything you want Becomes her desires. When you have a mother Who is so understanding that No matter what is bothering you She can make you smile. When you have a mother Who is so strong that No matter what obstacles she faces She is always confident in front of you. When you have a mother Who actively pursues her goals in life But includes you in her goals You are very lucky indeed. Having a mother like this Makes it easy to grow up Into a loving, strong adult. Thank you for being this kind of wonderful mother. ~~Susan Polis Schutz~ Happy Halloween
11/20/05 Well today I feel so much better. Size 16 jeans TOO BIG 12/4/05 Well its December and its major stall time too. I am trying not to let this discourage me :( 12/10/05 a 3 MONTHS POST OP
myspace layout
12/22/05 Well the NYC transit strike ended today. The last 3 days have been a NIGHTMARE Well I am now down 60 pounds! 12/30/05 The end of the year that began the change of my life! 1/1/06 Size 12~ yep................. Size 12 pants fit
1/18/06 I am now 39. today is my birthday. I am now down 71lbs! 2/4/05 Side by side comparison TODAY and day of surgery 2/11/06 slowly but surely 3/28/2006 4/28/06 Well, it has been a long time, there has been so much BS going on... Let's see, I have been depressed, my step father died 1 month ago, he was the only father that I knew, my brother in law attempted suicide, (I already lost one brother in law to suicide). I have not lost a pound. I am making bad food choices and I can not seem to get a grip, I have not gained weight at least.. Don't know, Maybe I need moral support.............Just do not feel like I am getting any. I am not drinking my water.... shall I continue??? Maybe I am just feeling sorry for myself who knows??? Until the next time
5/6/06 This is so funny, I had to share. If you see the first line of my profile, you would know that I was humiliated as a child by a guy I had a crush on.. and it stuck with me all of these years. So here I am in Home Depot, and he walked in. I was with my daughter,( my husband and son were outside) and I did feel anxious, (No I no longer have a crush on him) Have not seen him in say 15 years, So my daughter of course starts to run.. and I yell Gia, which of course drew his attention. He said "gail"?? I was like yea, "is that your daughter, she is beautiful" So I said yes and thanks,, he then said "wow she looks just like you" I almost had an immature moment............... wanted to say "she looks like the Gail the Whale"? but refrained and just said Thank you. I guess I finally got the last word. LOL
6/26/2006 Well it has been a while. I lost 5 pounds, but the inches are going now. I really do not know what size I am, some things are a 5/6 or 7/8 and some a 9/10. I am glad the winter is over 7/9/06 As of today I have lost......100 pounds!!!!!!!!! Yea yea yea a
9/2/06 I am almost 1 year out and so much has changed. I wear a size 5 in Jeans now!!! New dreamed the day would come. I bough a pair of Seven jeans size 27.... which equals a 4. I went to the plastic surgeon, who found 2 incisional hernias, so I had to see a general surgeon, he confirmed her findings and said that I will have both done simutaneoulsy. Now I know why I can't lay on my left side and hurts
9/16/06 I bought a pair of pants today in a size 3/4. I really don't see it though. I guess I really need for my head to catch up. I feel a little depressed, ok very depressed............................
10/1/06........... Well, I am at goal! But I think I still need to lose about 10 pounds It's funny, I now have no problem telling anyone h ow much I weigh and how much I weighed.
10/6/06 Life is just so different now.................................
and impatient. My mood is anxious and I fell lke joining weight watchers who knows???
